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Pregnancy can be a serious and risky medical condition for some women. Indeed, around 20% of moms-to-be are prescribed bed rest or some form of activity restriction. This surely complicates family life: a spouse then needs to take care of the mom, as well as the household and other children.
This dad had to do exactly that, as he was juggling remote eight-hour workdays, a toddler, housework, and a pregnant wife. He was stretched incredibly thin as his wife had him fetching things, cooking meals, and changing her pillows. But when she interrupted his work meeting, he finally snapped. After his in-laws came to get his wife to stay with them, the husband started wondering whether he was too harsh.
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Women need to be careful during a high-risk pregnancy, but there’s still a line to the demands they should make
Pregnant woman in green dress talking to man, expressing frustration while holding a remote on a brown couch.
As many commenters pointed out, nobody in this story was unreasonable. The young family just found themselves in an impossible situation. The husband was possibly experiencing caregiver burnout, and the wife was acting the way she was because of pregnancy hormones and the psychological effects of bed rest.
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One study found that pregnant women who are on bed rest experience three kinds of stressors:
Situational (lack of control, uncertainty, worrying about the fetus’s well-being)
Environmental (boredom, feeling like a prisoner, and tired of waiting for the baby to come)
And family (worrying about other children, the husband, etc.)
Of course, each pregnancy is different, but there are generally some things that bedridden pregnant women should or should not do. According to the Cleveland Clinic, these are generally the activities that might cause harm:
Walking or standing up for more than 30 minutes
Exercising strenuously, like lifting weights or doing cardio
Lifting items that are heavier than 20 pounds
Air travel
Physical intimacy with a partner or even by yourself
Being on your feet all day at work
Surprisingly, pregnant women who should be on bed rest can do activities such as climbing stairs. However, standing up and walking shouldn’t exceed the 30-minute mark.
On the other hand, there are cases when medical providers prescribe very strict bed rest. For some women, that even means staying in a hospital instead of at home. However, complete bed rest might also be dangerous in other ways, and the risks may even outweigh the benefits.
According to the Mayo Clinic, complete bed rest is no longer recommended to help avoid pregnancy complications, like premature birth or losing the baby. Staying in bed for a long time may cause a blood clot to form in a deep vein, especially in the leg. A prolonged time spent in bed causes bone mass to deteriorate, as well as making the heart, lungs, and muscles weaker.
Pregnancy cravings might be more psychological than physiological
Asking your husband to fetch ice cream as he’s at his wit’s end already with work, the toddler, and housework might seem unreasonable. But pregnancy cravings are real, even if they may not be related to the physiological needs of the mother and the fetus.
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Recently, researchers have become more convinced that pregnancy cravings are more psychological. Interestingly, the foods women from different cultures crave vary. Japanese women, according to one study, craved rice most commonly.
Scientists theorize that during pregnancy, women might allow themselves more leeway when it comes to food. Most of us experience social pressure not to eat junk food, too many sweets, or food that is too expensive. As foods are forbidden to pregnant women already (like sushi, coffee, and wine), they might overcompensate with other foods without feeling guilty.
Another theory is that when a husband or another loved one satisfies a pregnant woman’s craving by getting her ice cream, pickles, or chocolate, she feels cared for. When researchers studied the women of rural Tanzania, they claimed that when husbands and their families provided them with the foods that they craved, they saw it as a sign of social support.
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Help from grandparents wasn’t an option, either
Excerpt from an online discussion about a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for being needy during his work meeting.
Commenters didn’t blame the dad, just pointed out that both parents needed some outside help
Comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for disrupting a work meeting and being needy.
Text excerpt discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife over her being needy and disrupting his work meeting.
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Reddit comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for being too needy during a work meeting.
Comment discussing conflict over a man needing to work while his pregnant bedridden wife is being needy and disrupting his meeting.
Screenshot of a detailed Reddit comment discussing challenges of a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife during work meetings.
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Man snaps at pregnant bedridden wife, highlighting tensions from work meeting disruptions and emotional needs during pregnancy.
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Man snaps at pregnant bedridden wife for being needy, causing tension during his important work meeting.
Reddit comment discussing challenges of a man snapping at pregnant bedridden wife for work meeting disruption.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing managing work meetings while caring for a pregnant bedridden wife.
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Comment discussing grandparents and assumptions about their work status related to a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife.
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Comment discussing challenges of managing work and caregiving duties for pregnant bedridden wife being needy and affecting meetings.
Comment discussing pregnancy brain effects and offering advice about supporting a pregnant bedridden wife during work meetings.
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Comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for being too needy and disrupting his work meeting.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for being too needy.
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Comment advising support for pregnant bedridden wife and acknowledging caregiver stress in a discussion thread.
Alt text: Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing pregnancy, bedridden wife, and challenges balancing work meetings with family needs.
Comment discussing stress and caregiving challenges involving a pregnant bedridden wife and work meeting disruptions.
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Comment about stress on man snapping at pregnant bedridden wife during his work meeting, addressing caregiving challenges.
Comment discussing a bedridden pregnant wife and a man snapping during a disrupted work meeting.
However, some thought he was being a jerk and urged him to apologize
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife for being needy and disrupting his work meeting.
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Alt text: Man snaps at pregnant bedridden wife, frustrated over work meeting disruption and her being needy at home.
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Online forum comment discussing a man snapping at his pregnant bedridden wife during a work meeting.
Commenter addressing stress of man snapping at pregnant bedridden wife for being too needy during work meeting.
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The dad gave more info about the family’s situation in an update
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Text excerpt discussing demanding pregnant wife and in-laws avoiding caregiving, highlighting needy and bedridden aspects.
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Text about pregnant bedridden wife explaining high risk pregnancy and bleeding as red flag mentioned by doctor.
Pregnant woman standing with hand on belly and hip, looking concerned in a modern living room with TV behind her.
Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.
Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.
This is just a case of competing needs and how stress and lack of sleep can make people short with each other. Glad the couple can see that now. I hope the in laws don't hold onto too much guilt. It's likely the pregnancy would have ended the same way even without the move a few blocks away. On the way to her next appointment or even the next trip to the bathroom. They couldn't have known.
This is just a case of competing needs and how stress and lack of sleep can make people short with each other. Glad the couple can see that now. I hope the in laws don't hold onto too much guilt. It's likely the pregnancy would have ended the same way even without the move a few blocks away. On the way to her next appointment or even the next trip to the bathroom. They couldn't have known.
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