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28YO Says He Wants A Baby Before Turning 30, Throws A Hissy Fit When GF Announces Her Pregnancy
Learning that you’re about to have a baby is supposed to be an exciting moment in a person’s life. It’s like a step into a new path of your life – one with a responsibility you’ve never had before. But the thing about responsibilities is that not all people like them.
Just as not every person wants to be a parent. Whether for now or forever, the fact that they’re not ready still stands. But if pregnancy still happens, it’s important how they react to it, as it can break everything they’ve built until this point in a second.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
While learning that you’re going to be a parent should be exciting news for a person, it isn’t always
Image credits: ivankyryk / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Just like in this story, where a woman anticipated that her boyfriend would take the news of her pregnancy happily
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She wrapped the reveal as a Christmas gift and put it under the tree
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But the second he unwrapped it, the whole mood turned sour, as he started screaming about being pressured into having a child
Image credits: Think-Temporary-9814
So, she started to wonder if announcing it during Christmas was the wrong move
The OP and her boyfriend’s relationship has been moving in a serious way; they even talked about possibly getting engaged in the upcoming year. They have also spoken about how they want to have kids before the 28-year-old boyfriend turns 30.
So, when the woman found out that she was pregnant, she thought it was good news. She decided to announce it to her partner during Christmas, by wrapping a vintage baby rattle with a note attached, saying, “I’m pregnant,” under the tree as one of the presents.
When the day came, and he opened the present, the reaction was way different from what he had anticipated. The second he put two and two together, he started shouting about how she could do this to him, forcing him to be a parent. Then, he took his coat, stormed out, and hasn’t answered any messages she sent him, but has read them.
This made the OP spiral – was it a bad way to tell him the news? Or maybe she shouldn’t be having kids with him at all if he’s jumping between opinions on such a topic? Well, the question of whether to have kids and, yes, when to do so, plagues a lot of people. For those who know that at some point in their lives they want to parent a kid, the timing is crucial – you want to do that when you’re 100% ready.
But the thing is that it’s said that only a rare person feels 100% ready. Or maybe no one ever does, like getting stuck at 99% or something. After all, bringing a child into your care is a life-altering decision.
Image credits: user25451090 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Basically, the answer to the question of “Are you ready to be a parent?” is not a simple yes or no. Perhaps the question would be better phrased like “are you ready enough to be a parent?”, then the yes or no answer fits better. You don’t have to feel 100% sure, but you need to be sure enough that you can raise a proper person and give them the best conditions possible.
Another thing is whether your partner feels ready enough to be a parent, too. If they’re not, like the man in the story, it might not be the best time to bear a child. Having a neglectful parent while growing up can leave a lot of emotional scars for a kid that they have to lick over the course of their life, or get stuck with the trauma.
Yet, if one part of a couple desperately wants a kid, while the other is on the edge about the decision, it can cause a rift between them. So, there aren’t that many choices for relationships like that – they can have a child with one of them being unhappy with it, or they can not have any children with one of them being unhappy with it.
Both of the decisions are likely to lead them to build up resentment for each other for putting themselves in life situations they didn’t want. So, there’s a third option – a breakup. While it might be hard parting ways with someone you love, sometimes it can lead to better outcomes.
Just like in Friends, when Monica broke up with Richard, due to their differences on wanting children, and ended up with Chandler, with whom she was on the same page. So, maybe, as netizens suggested, that’s what the OP should do – leave her Richard, so she can find her Chandler.
What do you think – should the OP stay with the man who stormed out on her like that? Or what else should she do? Share all your opinions in the comments!
Some netizens pointed out that the woman is due for some hard decisions – does she wants to keep the baby or her boyfriend, as apparently keeping both of them is not an option
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What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 19 hours ago
Well, it is a bit of a big surprise he wasn't ready for, but that it brought out such anger is a huge red flag. Would like to know if he gets angry over things regularly. If so, she needs to nope right on out of there.
Korok 18 hours ago
Am I missing something, the baby wasn’t agreed with or planned by both parents! She surprised him with the pregnancy that he didn’t know was coming! (Tho he should’ve been using a c****m Tbf)
The Other Guest 16 hours ago
He might have been. Condoms do not have a 100% success rate; for maximum protection, they should be used in conjunction with a second form of birth control.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 18 hours ago
Obviously the anger and tantrum is a deal breaker, but so should any ambiguity about pregnancy. If you are in a relationship and don't have both stated clear expectations and a plan, you have a lot of growing up to do before you're partner material. It sounds like this guy lied about his wishes, but wow pregnancy timing might be a surprise, but actual pregnancy should be a shock.
Ace 18 hours ago
Oops. There's a big difference between "we have spoken about having kids..." and actually planning to do so. Sounds like the OP completely misread her BF's intentions. How do you just become pregnant anyway> I mean, either you're using birth control or you're not, and if the latter then surely that can only ever be a joint decision.
Kate Johnson 18 hours ago
FYI - There's NO SUCH THING as 100% birth control except sterilization. If he was that worried about it perhaps he should have made extra sure by using a c****m. Much more likely is he was always just "shining her on" to get what he could from her, without any intention of actually following through. At least now she knows he's a worthless AH and not in any way worthy of any continued association beyond a child support check. Though if I was her I'd have an abortion, as I'd want no further association of any kind with him.
Load More Replies...
Juls 13 hours ago
He acts like he wants kids in the very near future, and then completely ghosts you the minute you get pregnant. At 28, he's quite selfish and immature. Not exactly dad material. Not even husband or boyfriend material. Sure, anyone might have a temporarily negative reaction to this kind of surprise, but his reaction was extreme. So extreme, I wonder if there's another woman. Don't walk, run, but make sure you file for child support. He's responsible for helping take care of the child, whether he wants too or not.
Alexandra 17 hours ago
I'm not sure that I get it. OP's partner wants kids before 28: that's fair. Usually, when a couple wants to start trying for a family, they agree on not using contraception anymore. Were both partners in agreement that this was the right time to try for a child? Did he know OP stopped using contraception? Did he agree? If they were both on the same page, I can't explain his reaction unless he changed his mind and was too cowardly to tell OP.
Ace 15 hours ago
No, nothing supports the idea that OP's partner wanted ids before he was 30. The OP claims they talked about it, but not that he actually said so, and definitely not that her pregnancy was a joint planned decision.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 18 hours ago
Seems like he got caught. He was always "shining her on" about engagement and future children in order to continue to receive his prefered "services" from her. Probably knowing if he didn't indicate he was serious, he would lose those "services". But now the truth comes out. I'd be making an appointment to end that pregnancy. I would not want any lingering connections with this guy. A clean break is best.
Mel in Georgia 19 hours ago
Well, it is a bit of a big surprise he wasn't ready for, but that it brought out such anger is a huge red flag. Would like to know if he gets angry over things regularly. If so, she needs to nope right on out of there.
Korok 18 hours ago
Am I missing something, the baby wasn’t agreed with or planned by both parents! She surprised him with the pregnancy that he didn’t know was coming! (Tho he should’ve been using a c****m Tbf)
The Other Guest 16 hours ago
He might have been. Condoms do not have a 100% success rate; for maximum protection, they should be used in conjunction with a second form of birth control.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 18 hours ago
Obviously the anger and tantrum is a deal breaker, but so should any ambiguity about pregnancy. If you are in a relationship and don't have both stated clear expectations and a plan, you have a lot of growing up to do before you're partner material. It sounds like this guy lied about his wishes, but wow pregnancy timing might be a surprise, but actual pregnancy should be a shock.
Ace 18 hours ago
Oops. There's a big difference between "we have spoken about having kids..." and actually planning to do so. Sounds like the OP completely misread her BF's intentions. How do you just become pregnant anyway> I mean, either you're using birth control or you're not, and if the latter then surely that can only ever be a joint decision.
Kate Johnson 18 hours ago
FYI - There's NO SUCH THING as 100% birth control except sterilization. If he was that worried about it perhaps he should have made extra sure by using a c****m. Much more likely is he was always just "shining her on" to get what he could from her, without any intention of actually following through. At least now she knows he's a worthless AH and not in any way worthy of any continued association beyond a child support check. Though if I was her I'd have an abortion, as I'd want no further association of any kind with him.
Load More Replies... Juls 13 hours ago
He acts like he wants kids in the very near future, and then completely ghosts you the minute you get pregnant. At 28, he's quite selfish and immature. Not exactly dad material. Not even husband or boyfriend material. Sure, anyone might have a temporarily negative reaction to this kind of surprise, but his reaction was extreme. So extreme, I wonder if there's another woman. Don't walk, run, but make sure you file for child support. He's responsible for helping take care of the child, whether he wants too or not.
Alexandra 17 hours ago
I'm not sure that I get it. OP's partner wants kids before 28: that's fair. Usually, when a couple wants to start trying for a family, they agree on not using contraception anymore. Were both partners in agreement that this was the right time to try for a child? Did he know OP stopped using contraception? Did he agree? If they were both on the same page, I can't explain his reaction unless he changed his mind and was too cowardly to tell OP.
Ace 15 hours ago
No, nothing supports the idea that OP's partner wanted ids before he was 30. The OP claims they talked about it, but not that he actually said so, and definitely not that her pregnancy was a joint planned decision.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 18 hours ago
Seems like he got caught. He was always "shining her on" about engagement and future children in order to continue to receive his prefered "services" from her. Probably knowing if he didn't indicate he was serious, he would lose those "services". But now the truth comes out. I'd be making an appointment to end that pregnancy. I would not want any lingering connections with this guy. A clean break is best.
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