Woman’s Pool Stays Shut Until Hubby Builds A Fence, Family Throws A Tantrum Over “Ruined” Summer

When it comes to having young kids around, you have to take some safety precautions. Accidents happen quickly, and children are at higher risk of having them than you might think. Just ask any parent who’s had to rush their little one to an emergency room after a mishap at home.

One concerned mom refuses to open the family pool until her husband installs a fence around it, complete with a security gate. Her kids say she’s ruining their summer, but she won’t budge. Now, she’s asking an online community if putting her foot down makes her a jerk.

 More info: Reddit

Sometimes being the responsible parent is tough, but this mom has put her foot down on a hot topic

Couple sitting in a modern living room overlooking a pool with no fence, highlighting kids safety concerns.

Image credits: megafilm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Concerned for the safety of her younger kids, she’s refused to open the pool for summer until her husband installs a fence around it

Alt text: Man ignoring partner’s request to make fence around pool for kids’ safety, causing tension in their relationship.

Sliding glass door opens to pool area where man ignores partner's request to install safety fence for kids around pool.

Request to make fence around pool ignored by man as partner insists on kids safety with proper pool fencing.

Text discussing challenges of implementing child safe sliding door locks and alarms for kids' safety around the pool area.

Woman in black dress standing by sliding glass door overlooking backyard pool, highlighting pool safety concerns without a fence.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Her kids are complaining that she’s ruining their summer, but she’s adamant, explaining that drownings happen all too quickly

Text about kids accessing garage and house, highlighting concerns for pool safety and the need for a fence around the pool.

Man ignoring partner’s request to install a safety fence around pool to protect kids from drowning risks.

Text post explaining refusal to open pool without installing a six foot fence for kids safety around pool area.

Text image reading So, AITA? referencing a discussion about a man ignoring partner’s request to make a pool fence for kids’ safety.

Text excerpt showing someone explaining confusion about Reddit upvotes and edit etiquette in a casual tone.

Man explains financial limits on installing pool fence for kids' safety, feeling powerless in shared home decisions.

Two young girls in white dresses sitting on the floor, reflecting concerns about kids safety around pool fences.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The worried woman says her husband claims he has no time to set up a fence, but won’t hire anyone else to do it either

Text excerpt discussing man ignoring partner's request to make fence around pool for kids' safety and her shutting it down.

Text discussing concerns about making a fence around the pool for kids’ safety and partner’s refusal.

Man ignoring partner's request to make fence around pool for kids' safety causing tension and concern at home.

Text discussing challenges with older kids suffering with their father and impact of shuffling between households on family dynamics.

Text excerpt discussing a man ignoring partner's request to build a pool safety fence despite kids' wellbeing concerns.

Text on white background discussing a man ignoring partner’s request to make a fence around pool for kids’ safety.

Text excerpt about man ignoring partner's request for a pool fence, focusing on kids' safety and frustration over control loss.

Image credits: nitwhitts

At her wits’ end, she’s now turned to netizens to ask if refusing to open the pool makes her a jerk

For three years, OP has begged her partner to fence off the pool outside their kitchen. With two toddlers, three older kids, and a sliding glass door opening directly to a 10-foot-deep pool, she’s been sounding the alarm. Her partner? He says, “Just watch them.” She’s done waiting politely, though.

Previously, OP has tried everything: child-proof locks, alarms, and rerouting everyone through the front door. But the garage is through that same slider, and no one sticks to the plan. The older kids forget, her partner ignores it, and the two youngest, aged three and five, are fast and curious. A missed moment could mean tragedy.

Now it’s summer, and she’s putting her foot down. No fence? No pool. Her kids say she’s the Grinch of July, and her partner won’t hire help because “no one builds like he can.” Meanwhile, relatives are mad that they can’t come over to swim. OP, however, stubbornly refuses to risk a child’s life for convenience.

Money complicates everything. It’s not OP’s house, not her bank account, and not her call, technically. But she’s the parent chasing toddlers near a body of water. So, following netizens’ advice, she’s learning how to dig the post holes herself, if only to reclaim a little peace of mind.

Modern backyard pool with glass fence highlighting kids safety concerns and partner’s ignored requests.

Image credits: 936072494 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

From what OP tells us in her post, she seems to be the only person in her family aware that drownings happen fast. Her partner palming 100% of the safety of their kids off to her is problematic, too. So, why is it that moms are typically disproportionately saddled with the full labor of running a household? We went looking for answers.

In their article for PsyPost, Darby Saxby and Lizzie Aviv write that there’s an invisible dimension of household labor that unfolds behind the scenes: the cognitive effort that goes into anticipating needs, planning, organizing, and delegating household tasks. 

New research has found that this cognitive dimension of housework, often called the “mental load,” is divided even more unevenly within couples than the physical dimension, and it seems to take a particular mental health toll on women.

According to The Gentle Counsellor website, historically, women have been assigned the roles of caregivers and homemakers. Despite progress in gender roles and increased representation of women in the workplace, traditional gender norms continue to influence what should be outdated domestic dynamics by now.

Constantly juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout, and the pressure to meet societal expectations of the “perfect” mother, wife, and professional can intensify feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

OP’s insistence that her partner does his fair share for safety shouldn’t be such a big deal, but she’s up against generations of gender inequality. Perhaps she should send her whining kids in her partner’s direction next time they complain – let’s see how he deals with being called the pool party pooper all summer.

What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Should she put more pressure on her partner, or roll up her sleeves and install the fence herself? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers came to the swift conclusion that the worried woman was not the jerk in this equation

Reddit thread discussing man ignoring partner’s request to put a safety fence around an oversized residential pool.

Commenter explains why ignoring pool fence safety puts kids at serious risk of injury and death near pools.

Screenshot of a forum discussion about man ignoring partner's request to make fence around pool for kids' safety.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing the need for a 6-foot fence around a pool for kids' safety.

Screenshot of an online discussion about pool safety and the challenges of using large safety covers during winter months.

User comment on forum about ignoring partner's request to make pool fence, emphasizing kids safety and peace of mind.

Comment warning about man ignoring partner’s request to make pool fence, risking kids' safety concerns.

Comment discussing a man ignoring his partner's request to build a pool fence for kids' safety and her reaction shutting it down.

Comment about ignoring partner’s request to make fence around pool for kids’ safety, suggesting hiring someone instead.

Text post discussing securing a pool for toddler safety after a recent tragedy, highlighting fence concerns.

Comment discussing man ignoring partner's request to build a pool fence for kids' safety and the importance of child safety.

Comment highlighting the danger of not having a fence around a pool for kids' safety and praising precaution efforts.

Comment about integrated safety cover on pool for kids' safety and peace of mind after a drowning incident.

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