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30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake
Unfortunately, not all Eureka moments in life relate to positive realizations. Sometimes they lead one to awakenings that can hurt them immensely, such as learning that a person they considered a friend is not actually worthy of the title.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such moments. They shared stories ranging from infuriating to heartbreaking on a thread started by u/Aesthetik_1 and covered all sorts of unfortunate events involving so-called friends. Scroll down to find them on the list below and consider this a reminder to check on the person that’s been by your side through thick and thin.
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#1
Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we're used to have this "group chat" where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things. After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let's just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they're talking smack behind his back. And the "unofficial leader" of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.
I know what it feels to be left out, I experienced that in Middle school and it's really awful. I stopped hanging out with them and I starts hanging out with Randy. He's quite eccentric but a very good person at heart. We've been friends for more than 6 years, and he still got my back
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
"Quite eccentric but a very good person at heart" are 90% of the time very cool people to hang out with.
RELATED:
#2
When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again.
David 2 years ago
they might not be 'fake'. They might be introverts. I rarely reach out except to a couple of very close friends. I always think things like - maybe they are busy - I don't know when is a good time to call. I have started to try to be more proactive with a couple of other friends but it does not come naturally for me even though I'm glad when they reach out to me.
Isabella 2 years ago (edited)
There are texts, if calling is not for somebody. In any relation, both parts need to be involved and make some efforts if they want to last.
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daniel sullivan 2 years ago
This happened to me, somebody I thought we were close to was going through yet more of their personal dramas. It was 3 days before my birthday and I decided to wait until they called . Never heard from them again, that was 17 years ago
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
I'm bad about reaching out as I'm used to being by myself as both an only child and introvert. But friends will reach out to me and I respond. I also work to do my part to reach out. Anyone that is ok with this relationship, we're still friends. The funny thing is with these close friends, whenever we meet up it's like we talk all the time. They're the best type of friends.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
My "best friend" (Since we were 9 years old - we're almost 50 now) is currently doing this. I got tired of always being the one carrying the relationship so I decided to let her be the one to contact me for a change. It's been well over a year and she didn't reach out on Xmas or my birthday - we haven't missed texting each other for birthdays in decades. I'm disappointed, sad, and angry too. It's tempting to send her a message saying she's a cr@ppy friend, but I'm also quite curious about how long this might last. She's not an introvert either.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Do some follow-up. Turns out the friend I thought ghosted me had DIED and no one thought to tell me.
Omima mimi miki 2 years ago (edited)
this one - i call or text or email whenever - no matter if they are busy or not - i make effort - i don't expect people to do the same especially as we get older - but i will say it matters
Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 2 years ago
I'm not going to write someone off for this. It's when they fail to return calls that finish things for me.
#3
I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close.
One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck.
She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I *had* to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways.
She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her.
I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the s**t feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her moms rules. She rode the bus til she graduated.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
What an awful person. And had the guts to call and ask for a ride to school after that. Some people.
Sagegreen 2 years ago
What if the reason her reaction was that extreme is her mother was abusing her?
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Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Her mom sounds really controlling. Sounds like she was panicking and terrified of what was going to happen to her if her mother found out. Unless the only consequence was being grounded and missing a movie, then she is a bad friend.
#4
I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her.
Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, "My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave."
It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Wow, and I thought it was bad when I would go to a friend's house and they would invite someone else over later and totally ignore me as soon as the other person got there.
#5
Him and his girlfriend asked if they could spend Christmas Day with me, my husband and our children because otherwise they’d be at home alone all day with only junk food to eat (neither of them could cook)
I organised transport over and home again after (neither of them could drive either) I cooked us all a full Christmas dinner. I organised fun games and activities so it wouldn’t be boring.
My friend and his girlfriend didn’t offer to help with anything, not cooking, not serving, not cleaning up, and not paying. They wouldn’t play the games and weren’t interested in the activities. They just wanted to sit on the sofa and eat. Then came the complaining…
They complained because we had Pepsi instead of Coke.
They complained that we had semi-skimmed milk instead of full fat.
They complained that my husband wouldn’t play video games with them (he was busy with the kids while I cooked)
They complained that there wasn’t mashed potatoes as well as roast potatoes.
They complained because they wanted different vegetables from the ones I was serving.
They didn’t thank us for anything. Needless to say I was glad when they went home. Friendship didn’t survive long after that.
Hanako-Kun 花子くん 2 years ago (edited)
Who raised them!? *They* ask to come over to the ops house then complain?? Op and their family was kind enough to let them over and they didn't even get a thank you 😡
Nichole Harris 2 years ago
Clearly barnyard animals!!!! The unending entitlement of done folks is astounding
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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
Goodness grief being around someone like that make you sad and mad at the same time. How could they even do that to that family. What the heck. Sounded like spoiled little kids.
Nightshade1972 2 years ago
"Neither of them could cook" isn't OP's problem. It was nice of OP to invite them for dinner, but I'm glad the "friendship didn't survive long after that." What a shock... /s
#6
When I got back (to the US) from a trip to South America, I had $7 to my name. The next morning a 'friend' asked me to go to breakfast, so I could tell him about my trip. I said I didn't have any money and couldn't afford it. However, he said that's ok and off we went. When we arrived at the breakfast joint and the server came over to get our order, my 'friend' pointed at me and said "he isn't getting anything".
Luke Terrill 2 years ago
They invited them out, they tried to decline due to lack of funds. The friend told them to come anyway. When someone says that they don't have money and you invite them anyways, it is implied that you will be paying for them.
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#7
Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but I'm the only one not in it.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Not to worry, just find a group chat that wants you to be there.
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MaximumKarmaSaint 2 years ago
What's wrong with this? This has happened before, but because of software issues. Although I guess I could see why...
#8
When I finally opened up about what was really going on in my life, and she said that it was all too much for her to hear about. She straight up never called me back. We used to be best friends.
Hard as pumpuli 2 years ago (edited)
My ex- ”best friend” did not invite me to her wedding, quote ”you are not part of my ”intact friend circle”, what ever that was. I should have seen it coming. Everything was always about her. I listened, never the other way around.
Jonas Fisher 2 years ago
That's definitely rough, but if you "finally" opened up, then I'd argue you were never that girl's friend either. She thought she knew you, but you had been lying the entire time. You can't suddenly change the entire dynamic of a relationship and then blame the other person for being phony.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
fair weather friends are pretty much all you are going to get. Everyobody's life is a s**t show, and some people just don't have time for both your s**t and their own s**t. It sucks but it's life.
kath morgan 2 years ago
Perhaps she wasn’t in a good place to hear about it. It can be very hard to know how to respond to something like that.
Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
I had 3 "best friends" through my life. All of them moved on & left me behind, with no warning. When I lost my grandparents, who everyone knew were the most important people in my life, NOBODY reached out. Not even a quick "I'm sorry" text or email. Now I don't make friends, I handle everything completely alone, because now, I CHOSE it.
Dragon mama 2 years ago
I had the same thing happen. At 16 ended up on the locked psych unit and my closest friend said I was "too much" and never called me again. Maybe I was a lot, but that was heartless
#9
When I got really sick. Very few came to help.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
People show their true colours when you lose your money or your health. For better or worse.
Kate Fei 2 years ago
or if you have any problem, really. Try asking for an emergency ride or help with your children or help while moving. That is when I realized most of my friends are not really my friends.
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Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
This. I always make a point of calling, visiting or bringing food to any friend who's going to a rough patch.
TheBlinkingDuck 2 years ago
My husband became disabled three years ago. We have maybe 4 people left in our lives
La Lucy 2 years ago
Had a "friend" who set up a go fund ne to pay for surgery. I contributed. She had several meal trains I cooked, drove 30 min to drop off food (taking into account her multiple dietary restrictions), checked on her, bought her various MLMs etc. I lost my dad at Xmas, 2 surgeries in 2 years and depression battle. Crickets.
#10
Her response to finding out my husband had been cheating on me was to say to me “oh yeah, I definitely could have slept with him if I wanted to”
MiriPanda 2 years ago
Wait, that sounds like he made advances at her which she rejected? So the friend just confirmed that the ex was a cheater?
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
There's the argument that a good friend should have told the woman immediately that the husband had made advances towards her, and showed her the husband was a cheater/creep/lecherous earlier.
Load More Replies... Lame Llama 2 years ago
LOL, sounds like the time I told my once very good friend that I have problem conceiving. Her reply was that she "gets pregnant just like "fingers snap* that".
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 1 year ago
People like the OP's friend have to find anyone but the ex to blame for the ex's infidelity.
#11
It was several "friends." I realised that their idea of fun was to just constantly insult me. Not playful "roasting", full on constant insults.
Michael Fernandez 2 years ago
I wasted several years trying to get the approval of a group of people who were very intelligent and quick-witted, but one day I just realized that all they ever did was insult each other without any real limits. If someone drifted away, they were excoriated mercilessly. They didn’t go out of their way to insult me in particular; they were just awful, toxic, unhappy people. I drifted away and assume I was insulted for awhile until they got bored and started attacking each other again.
MaximumKarmaSaint 2 years ago (edited)
This has happened to me, although not all of them thought this was "friend" behavior. One of them knew, and he was the main agressor.
J 2 years ago
This is only exceptable if its a bunch of Veterans hanging out with their Veteran friends because we are hell on each other and its expected and missed if it doesnt happen.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
That's awful. No friend circle should have their own whipping boy/girl.
FaceTime Audio 2 years ago
Been there multiple times. I’m autistic and can’t usually tell if people like me and are being friendly or if they’re just insulting me.
#12
At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch.
She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b***h.
Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
One of a few reasons why I didn't bother having a boyfriend in high school lol
#13
When plans with me became tentative should something better with someone else come up. That s**t hurts.
Mabelbabel 2 years ago (edited)
I had an ex that I'd occasionally meet up with, and over coffee one day, he told me his latest girlfriend had dumped him and he didn't know why. She'd got upset because he'd told her to keep Saturday night free because there was a 60% chance he'd be able to see her-basically, he'd see her if nothing better came along. He had done this all the time to me-he had his priorities, and I was way down the list. Plans made with me were completely flexible and non-fixed, and I was expected to hang around and wait, and then fill in at short notice if his other, more important plans fell through. 20 years later, he was still doing it and wondering why he was single in his 50s. I'd told him at the time we split that his behaviour was a big part of the split, but he seemed genuinely incapable of accepting it was unreasonable. Don't make someone your whole focus if you're just an option to them.
B 2 years ago
Had a friend that did this to me, we would get together once a month for game night & the kids would play. I went to their favorite bakery & picked up a cake & I get a call the day of that they got an invite to go to a mutual friends pool party that day. I did not have the extra money to buy that cake. I was just like ok... after that she bad mouthed me to other friends & then did not invite me to a surprise going away party for our friend that was moving, a mutual friend was throwing the party & asked her to do the invite list . I got confronted by the friend that threw the party , saying it was really Sh^&&y of me not to show up when she saw the shocked look on my face & I said I had no idea there was a party. She apologized, for yelling at me & told me what had been going on behind my back. Lost a whole group of friends to that but they can Suk it .
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
That happens with both "friends" and dates. One strike has become the norm for me. If they're vague and tentative l call it off myself.
AMaureen Dance 2 years ago (edited)
I had one 'friend' who would actually say it like that. "If nothing else comes up." One day I told her "If nothing else comes up you'll be sitting at home alone 'cause I'll be with people who don't leave me as a contingency"
Lene 2 years ago
I once invited a friend to my birthday. He said he'd show up if there wasn't anything more fun to do that day. I was completely stunned! It is an awful thing to say! Even if it is true, at least say something like "I have to check my calendar, let me get back to you with an answer later". Or if you do not want to go, just say that you can't. Or won't. No reason to make ppl feel like a leftover on your social plate.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
One of my main friends in highschool and shortly after was always canceling plans because she made date plans with a guy and "forgot" that we were supposed to hang out. So she would cancel with me instead of with the guy.
#14
When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I've had this happen before, it sucks but the earlier you recognize it the better.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
You know what you do with a Fairweather friend… Leave them out in the rain.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Yeah, talked to a "friend of a friend" a few nights ago. We had made similar comments on our mutual friend's page about our concern for her well being. (The police did a welfare check and had her taken to the psyche ward). Mutual friend was pissed, but understanding. So friend of a friend & I start chatting every once in a while, until she started DMing me DAILY to complain about her life, husband, health issues, etc. So, I just started ignoring her. She sent me a DM about mutual friend last week and OMFG, I did not remember exactly why I didn't talk to her anymore. Drama, drama, drama. This time I blocked her.
#15
Riding in my best friend’s car, in our early 20s, telling her about how my relationship with my mother was becoming so toxic and crumbling before my eyes- she interrupted me to ask that I be quiet during her favorite part of the song that was on the radio. When that part was finished, she told me I could resume my story. I was pouring my heart out. I was young and devastated, and even then I knew that was a really messed up thing to do and it instantly changed the way I viewed her as a friend. We were going on seven years of close friendship, and it was finished in that one car ride.
Kevin Sutton 2 years ago
Yeah, when someone talks over the intro to your favourite song, it completely ruins it
Load More Replies... Lene 2 years ago
A good friend would have turned off the radio and focus more on what OP was talking about, imo. I have had many acquaintances (how do you spell that???) that were viewed as weird and best to stay away from. The thing is that I gave them a chance to tell me about what was up and usually they were just undiagnosed with some mental issue or neurodivergence. One dude could literally clear the whole bar, just by showing up. He didn't do any harm -he was just being a bit weird and socially awkward. I had a talk with him about it and ended up having an agreement that i could tell him when he was being too weird and he'd calm down on his weirdness as best he could. Worked like a charm. Iirc he later found that he was on the autism spectrum. And people just didn't give him a chance. Poor guy.
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
I mean back in the day when a song played on the radio you either listened to it or you missed it, I can see her friend doing.....NOPE, just kidding, even back then, your "friend" would be a twatfuckle.
Kare Deter 2 years ago
The reason you "don't have anyone at all willing to listen to me b***h about anything" is glaringly apparent.
Load More Replies... #16
When I was r**ed my friends all disappeared. The guy who r**ed me wasn’t even in our friend circle and went to jail for another crime. It wasn’t he said she said it was very obviously r**e. I lost all of my friends and when I confronted a couple of them after going to therapy they said “we believed you we just didn’t want to deal with the DRAMA” I had never even talked about the r**e with them I was just less entertaining when we hung out because I was traumatized. These are people who I let stay at my house whenever, I had a good job so I bought them things, I was always the driver and always the person they would turn to when they needed something. It was a hard lesson to learn at 16 and I didn’t actually learn it then, I just internalized it and believed I was overreacting and I had done something wrong. I still believe the best in everyone but man, that belief gets shaken quite a lot. Now I’m friends with my husband and kids and don’t bother with anyone else.
BrownTabby 2 years ago
BP, do you have ANY idea how disrespectful it is to censor the word “rāpe” IN A POST BY A RĀPE VICTIM?!
XenoMurph 2 years ago
The algorithm isn't sophisticated enough to differentiate. It will just be a word picked out to stop the worst of humanity making threats against women, sad that it needs to be so.
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BTDubs 2 years ago
I hate it when BP censors the words "suic!de" or "Drug$". How can people try to fix their problems if they can't even talk about them?
Upstaged75 2 years ago
It's a algorithm, not a person doing the censoring. Hating it changes nothing.
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Thrillion 2 years ago
I'm not making excuses for the friends but it takes a lot of emotional maturity to understand and discuss trauma, especially rape. It also takes a lot of courage to tell someone. I know my 16 year old self wouldn't/couldn't handle that discussion. I hope that the OP eventually spoke out to a trusted person, parent or professional. People revert to coping mechanisms when presented with situations that are beyond their abilities. They shutdown, avoid, and even remove themselves from the discussion. I would simply accept those friends are incapable of giving the OP comfort and compassion, not that they are bad people. I've learned that those people may be avoiding discussing trauma because they experienced the same thing and are not ready to acknowledge their own trauma or feelings about it.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Her "friends" are almost as disgusting as that rapist. Total heartless cockroaches.
Maartje 2 years ago
To the OP- that was callous, inconsiderate and selfish, and you do NOT need friends like that. Any friend who cannot stand with and support you when you are assaulted and traumatized like this is not a real friend. I am so sorry this happened but yes, in the case of rape you will find a lot of insensitivity. I hope you will find that there are good, caring people out there and I am glad you have your family.******* To posters : SO is the majority of this conversation about BP censoring instead of the victim? Kind of seems to prove the point that OP is making, that everyone would rather talk about anything else. Go ahead, start downvoting me on this but that is shallow. *****To the people that actually ANSWERED to OP instead of talking about BP censorship and completely ignoring the real story- THANK YOU. I upvoted you all, I did not downvote anyone in this post but sheez-
#17
When he stole my checkbook, forged my signature and took money out of my account. This was after I let him live with me and my family for two years after his parents kicked him out in high school
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I wonder if they kicked him out because he was stealing from them too? I wouldn't be surprised.
Bogdan Chelariu 2 years ago (edited)
Had a "friend" like that! My mom saved his and his mom's lives when they ate poisonous mushrooms, then he proceeded to steal money from my home 2 times (once actually caught and once he finally admitted after a long time), and a third time when he stole my gold necklace my dad brought as a present from another country (approx. 15 grams). The sequence of instances was "money, necklace, money". I kept finding excuses for him (no father, family quite poor, etc.) but after seeing my mom completely breaking down in tears after the 3rd incident, and hearing her crying and telling him she viewed him as one of her children, that was it for me! Friendship ended..... More than 15 years ago!
#18
Anytime I had good news, she'd find an INSTANT way to downplay it. "I got the job!" (Ha! You're excited about *that* hourly???) "My crush just texted me about hanging out!" (Right. Like *you* have money to do cool s**t.) "The gym is working -- I'm down 8 lbs!" (It's water weight, sweetie, chill.) Literally nothing that made me happy could come outta my mouth and be celebrated in kind. This was someone I grew up thinking was "so cool," but only made me feel like s**t to be around. I finally broke away and it pissed her off so bad, she actively spilled my secrets and "tea" to folks who had no business knowing that much stuff about me. Oh well.
#19
When I was babysitting her kids things were going great. We would hangout all the time...have movie nights and just talk and chill. But the second she no longer needed a babysitter was the second I got kicked to the curb. No explanation...not even a text back. Some people will act like your best friend until they no longer need you. Their loss though.
#20
When she tried to poison me with drano, she was moving away the next day hoping she would not get caught, she was just way too insistent I eat lunch she made, tipped me off.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
...holy s**t. We somehow went from accounts of "friends" acting like ungrateful, bullying jerks to *attempted murder*. I sincerely hope this psycho didn't go on to actually kill someone, because if they try it once they're going to try it again.
Epsilon 2 years ago
Ikr!? Im very much into crime things (I want to go into the FBI) but this person is talking about this like it happens all of the time. Like, what!?
Load More Replies... #21
When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous.
David 2 years ago
that is sad. in a friendship and especially a romantic relationship I prefer it if the other person does better / is richer / whatever. It frequently means they have more self confidence and financial independence which in turn means they are more likely to be my friend for the right reasons rather than because they "need" me.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I knew someone EXACTLY like this in elementary school. Sometimes we got along; other times, she would make my life a living hell.
#22
When the only time we hung out is when I initiated making plans.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I mean I'm bad at asking people to do things .. and planning
Sina 2 years ago
Sometimes the effort of trying to keep in touch and plan things with your friends, means more to them than the actual plans. If you only leave it up to them, because you're bad at doing it, eventually they'll stop trying. Being the only one trying is exhausting, and in the long run it's not worth it.
Load More Replies... #23
Friend “A” warned me that Friend “B” was openly disrespectful, even hostile when speaking of me when I wasn’t around. They got into an argument. Friend B sent me screenshots of their conversation to get me on their side but there seemed to be whole sentences missing. When I asked for clarification, they called me dumb. Friend A showed me all the missing messages where they called me much worse than just “dumb”. Friend B lost two great friends for good after that.
Trainingfortheballetpotteh🇺🇦 2 years ago
Friend A was a good friend for telling you the truth!
#24
After 20 years of friendship with a woman I once knew well, I went through a divorce. She almost immediately stopped speaking to me, left her husband of 25 years and moved out, *and made a run for my soon-to-be ex-husband* My soon-to-be ex wanted nothing to do with her romantically and flatly rejected her advances. She eventually crawled back to her husband, where she is today As I later found out, her 3 siblings had sat her down for an intervention, asking her what the hell she was thinking for hurting her nice husband and her good friend (me) - and for potentially ruining her childhood friendship with my ex, as their families were old friends in this city and went way back. She pretended not to know what they were talking about and carried on with her plan At the time I was blindsided; alternately crushed - and PISSED - at her betrayal and for her decades-long false friendship with me. The realization that she wasthisclosetome for 2 decades just to be close to my husband(!!!) is still mind bending, 7 years later But I have to laugh at the social embarrassment she brought upon herself and her current state-of-misery My now-ex is remarried and I am dating. He and I co-parent and get along very well, and our kids are loved by us all. His friendship with her is no longer She has eaten herself into a ball that is almost as wide as she is tall. *You reap what you m***********g sow*
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I read "that she wasthisclosetome" in William Shatner's voice lol. But seriously though, a betrayal that deep...it takes a horrible person to do that. And the fact that she hid it so well for so long as enough to give anyone major trust issues.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Sow like plant-you reap what you sow, not that she is a m***********g sow.
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#25
Talking behind my back about private stuff.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
My MIL did this; talking with random people who then tried to talk to me about it. Like, how did they know this stuff?
Catlady6000 2 years ago
This is a YES, BUT situation. No names, unlikely to know any of these people, much less see them regularly. For all we know this entire post is a stream of short fiction
Load More Replies... #26
I had one friend go and tell my boss I was job hunting.
Had a few steal from me.
Had one blame me when she stole something.
I've had quite a few deliberately trigger my trauma to the point where I stopped telling people about it.
Blue Morpho Butterfly 2 years ago
I'm sorry, it sounds like lots of your friends have sadly turned out to be a******s☹️
Svenne O'Lotta 2 years ago (edited)
Sure, go ahead and blame the victim. You must be such a good person.
Load More Replies... #27
Constantly “one ups” me. A real friend is happy for you.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I know someone like this, it's the absolute worse having a conversation with them about anything.
Adam Westman 2 years ago
I actually know two people like this, it's worse than the absolute worse having a conversation with them about anything.
Load More Replies... Catlady6000 2 years ago (edited)
This can actually be fun. Get them on a One-up stream and then toss in time you had to dismember a body or ate the neighbors dog
#28
ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I had a "friend" who was like that. I'm a naturally empathetic person so I was prepared to listen and offer suggestions on how to deal with his problems, but he had no interest whatsoever in taking my advice or indeed doing anything about said problems other than complain. Eventually I realised he was just a whiny self-pitying toxic a*****e.
Catlady6000 2 years ago
I am this friend. I hate this about myself, it's not that I don't care. It's kinda like when you're going down the interstate and you're so focused on what is directly in front of you that you almost miss the only exit to yyour destination. I hate when I get that focused on whatever I'm saying. This is my 3am insomnia from 20 years ago thing
Maartje 2 years ago
I am impressed that you recognize this about yourself. And it is as you say it, it is not that you do not care. Now go and express that care to your friends and listen to them, you clearly are a good person but you need to work on showing that you are empathetic, and there for them when they need you. A lot of people have trouble doing that. What Niki A says to do is a good way of handling it.
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Niki A 2 years ago
I accidentally do this, and I always stop and say, "Hey, I'd like to give you the floor because I have had it too long. Please share with me."
Kelly Scott 2 years ago
I'm like this. One of the reasons is I live alone and so when I have someone to talk to, I let it all pour out. Plus I can find dozens of things to tell someone about what's been happening in my life. I do try to curb myself as much as I can, but then I'll ask someone what's going on with them and all I get is "the usual" or "nothing much". It's really hard to make that into a conversation about them or to ask any questions. The other thing that happens is if the person I'm talking to does have problems, they're not problems I can help with. I'll let them vent because I know that makes them feel better but after that, they have nothing else to say once I sympathize with them.
Maartje 2 years ago
sympathy and understanding might be all that they need from you.
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Christine Caluori 2 years ago
I seem to be on the periphery of every thing until someone needs something doing
#29
When he would only take and never even offer to give back. Always with the "I left my money at home, but ill totally pay you back." Never paid anything back, ever. Other friends and I would call him out on it but there was always an excuse. Eventually he screwed over another mate at a gig they went to (only thing he paid for was a drink, had another mate even pay for his ticket in with some BS reason), so we all collectively decided we don't need or want him around anyway. He's barely made an attempt to keep in touch in 10 years and we certainly haven't.
#30
When they didn't remember our conversations and just talked for the sake of talking
In life, we often experience enlightening moments where we discover the true nature of those around us. This can sometimes lead to painful realizations about friends who may not be as genuine as they seem. Many stories shared in the ‘Ask Reddit’ community echo this sentiment, revealing heartbreaking instances where people discerned that some friends were only pretending to care. These narratives closely align with insights on distinguishing between real friends and those who may only act in self-interest.
For further context on how to identify such fake relationships, consider exploring more about spotting insincerity in friendships.
#31
When I came out. And it wasn’t just one.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
They were never friends if they can't accept you for who you are.
#32
He slapped my cat in the face. He's lucky I'm a passive because I would've absolutely wrecked him if I was a violent person.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 2 years ago
I mean, I'm not a violent person, but even so, they'd have had a slap. nobody hits my cat.
#33
She had sex with my brother. Who was married…. While she was also married. While being his wife’s best friend. Military.
#34
When they blew up a 20 year friendship by working to convince my wife I didn't love her anymore just so he could get his d**k wet with her.
#35
Keep taking, but never give back.
J Melody Rice 2 years ago
My friend of 20 years let me.rent her house. I was never late with rent and did all the land maintaining.I visited her and she goeson about she hopes I stay in her home a long time. Fae days later, She evicted me with 30 days norice at the peek of the pandemic, by showing up at my house with a constable who had a gun on his hip. Instead of just talking to me. With my child and elderly father home. I didn't take it well. But attempted to mend things. But lahort time ater when my dad was diagnosed with lukemia her reaction was that of completely non caring. Looking back it was a one sided relationship she clearly never cared. So i stopped calling and she never reached back out.
#36
Her dad died and I made sure that I was there to listen and support in any way she needed me to. My grandad (who I was very close to) died and I didn't hear from her for three months.
Lame Llama 2 years ago
My dad died, and I was really suffering form the heartache. My supossedly "bff" went missing, even though they know that I am in a bad place, but their mental health is more important. So all 20+ years, I have been around for their bad days, but they have never there for me, yet call me "bff".
#37
He tried to feel me up at her birthday party. I tried to tell her, but she took his side. We're no longer friends.
#38
I totally supported him for years because he was going through a rough patch. Not entirely, but ANYTIME we went out, beers, golf, movies, concerts, food was on me. He always protested a little bit and said he didn’t want to take advantage. I had noticed that he hadn’t lifted a finger to help himself in quite awhile and was cool sponging off his mom. Whenever I mentioned ways I could help besides giving him s**t or ways he could make money, he got s****y and said people weren’t helping him with his depression (I tried. Leading a horse to water, etc.) I fell on hard times and couldn’t afford to foot the bill for everything. Man, I felt so dumb when he got pissed because I asked him to cover part of his meal and drinks at the bar.
#39
When I quit drinking and they never wanted to hang out again or when they did want to hang out they wanted to meet at the bar.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
This happened when I got out of rehab. They all thought they had a DD for life and got real pissed when I told them I don't go out anymore
#40
When she was happy to hear that I was getting divorced. She was unhappily single and wanted to see me unhappily single, too.
#41
I've always been that kind of friend who is always there for other people. Even if they call me up at 3:00 a.m. in the middle of a snowstorm to come pick them up. I've always been reliable. But then I realized when I finally needed something, even when it wasn't a big something, and they were never available and always had an excuse and always ignored me and could never be bothered to lift a finger but yet had no issues constantly asking me for favors. That's no friend
#42
Best friend/man at my wedding slept with my married sister on my wedding night. Whole family found out, told me after we got back from honeymoon.
#43
Only hit me up when they needed something. Was a roomate, didnt give me any bill money, because they were "waiting on unemployment". So I went through their mail from unemployment one day. Turns out they had been getting paid for months. This was confirmed by mutual friends, and his girlfriend. I moved out and shut all the utilities off that were in my name. Went back to get a few things and they looked at like they wanted to kill me. Sorry to end your free ride. We had been friends for 25 years. Haven't talked to them since. That was 2020
#44
When she only wanted to be friends when she needed me or had time for me. Never when I needed her.
#46
When I was at my lowest point in life the friends that came to visit are the ones I still have and the ones that didn’t bother I cut them off and lost contact with them purposely. Life is too short for that
#47
When they told me that no one will ever love or go for me
#48
When they won't sacrifice equally over an extended period of friendship. Like they won't travel to you but expect it back, won't call to make plans but is okay doing so when you do it, speaks to you in ways that are disrespectful but it isn't done to all friends just some or one (if your a guy thill make sense, targeted roasting), etc.
Lame Llama 2 years ago
I am in the process of slowly going NC with a friend like that. The thing is I defended him from my husband for years when my husband realised that I am always the one reaching and going out of my way to visit and stay in touch (we live in different countries).
#49
When I told them I had an issue with racial slurs, and then they proceeded to say it 1000 times to p**s me off. When one friend literally screamed at me after beating them on a game. SWBF2 ended a friendship quicker than any other outside force had done
#51
Had personal issues and confided this person. Then this person went ahead and told coworkers.
#52
I had a best friend who was like a sister to me from age 4 to 16. My family had practically “unofficially” adopted and raised her, and she spent more time at our house than her own. She was from a broken family, and her mom was a drug addict. We even paid for her to go on family Disneyland trips with us every year. Anyway, towards the end of our friendship, she started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd. One day, I decided to write her a heartfelt but slightly “tough-love” type letter, basically saying that I missed the way things used to be and that she needed to get her act together. I left the letter on her doorstep. A few days later, I was contacted online by one of her newer friends asking about my plans for that evening. I was a little taken aback by this, considering this person had never spoken to me before, but ended up telling them that I didn’t have any plans that night. The next morning, my family and I woke up to find out that our house had been egged and “ketchupped.” My mom’s side mirror on her Jeep had also been smashed. We reported it to the police, but they didn’t really care, as there was no way to prove who did it. For the next several weeks, I was harassed and stalked online and in real life. I received dozens of messages, phone calls, and voicemails from blocked numbers, essentially threatening to ruin my life and do horrible (and illegal) things to me that I will not repeat. My mom contacted her mom and several other mothers to tell them what their kids had been doing to me, and everything eventually stopped. She and I never spoke again. Still, to this day, I have no idea how or why, a simple heartfelt letter could result in that level of bullying. I still struggle with it. In the end, I realized she was never a good friend to begin with.
Negatoris Wrecks 2 years ago
I had a 16 year old beat me up because she asked me if it is weird she is dating a 50 something homeless felon and I said "a little, yeah". Unreasonable people do unreasonable things.
Lene 2 years ago
My guess is that she knew she was on a de-tour in life but not willing to admit it. In order to make her choices more "okay" she showed the letter to her new friends and they wanted to keep her in their friends-group so they made up this plan of harrassment that, to their doped up brains, made total sense. So... I think this happened because the girl didn't want to admit to herself she was on a bad path and then drugs were involved. I don't really know, it's just my guess based on what little psychology I know.
#53
He made fun of me just to be the man infront of girls, never cared about what I felt This happend years ago
#54
When my phone got stolen and I lost their phone numbers. Mine stayed the same, but we just never talked again.
#55
My best friend for years threw a party and trashed my house while me & my family were on vacation, she also stole my vape, gave her friends my clothes and swim suits, and took my car for multiple joy rides. Then once people start hearing about it she goes around telling everyone how sorry she is and how horrible she feels, how she is so scared she will lose me as a friend. I never heard anything from her other than “I didn’t do anything wrong”.
#57
Reconnected after several years when they were in town, had coffee to catch up. Since I'd seen them last, my partner and I had two kids with extra medical needs, who would likely never live independently. It was a lot and we were still coping with the day to day, including recently calling 911 multiple times for one child's breathing issues - we knew the ICU nurses by name. My friend explained that they knew more about the lives of children with disabilities than I did, as a parent, because they were researching it for a paper at university. Haven't talked to them since.
Lene 2 years ago
How rude of them! Sure, they may know a lot about that specific topic... but the true experts are those living it. And yeah, it is heartbreaking to have to go to the hospital so often that you know the staff by name. And even more when the staff remembers you. The "oh, hi! You're back again! How are things?/are you back with the same issue as last time?"... it's just not something I ever thought would happen to me. Before we had our 3rd kid we were only at the hospital because of tests etc when I was pregnant. Then 3rd kid came and she had issues with her pelvis and her kidneys and all 3 kids have had seizures that nobody can explain. And the 3rd kid is only 2yo. 😬
#58
When she had daily drama, health issues, family issues, truth issues...and was all about "me me me" all the time. Draining as hell.
#59
When the meds made them go away
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago
Schizophrenia, friends were hallucinations
Load More Replies... #60
When she used what I told her in confidence as an attack during a disagreement we were having. That b***h can choke.
J Melody Rice 2 years ago
I had a friend of 20 years that i truely thought would be in my life forever. I was renting from her, went for a visit. She expresses how she loved us (me child and my elderly father) living there and "hoped we stayed for a long long time" two weeks later she shows up at my house with an armed constable to forcibly evict me. Gave me 30 days to quit in the peek of the pandemic. I had no savings for first/last. I admit i took it poorly. Called her a lot of names for not just talking to me about it. But despite everyone inmy live telling me to dig in i made it work. (The most stressful experience of my life) and moved. I tried to mend things but when i told her my dad had lukemia, her reaction made it clear she didn't care. Recounted the friendship with therapist and came to see she was never really my friend. She just tollerated me. So i stopped calling and never heard from her again. Can't say i miss her anymore. Also don't trust new people at all. Thank for that life lesson!
J Melody Rice 2 years ago
Didn't mean to post this twice, thought i got kicked off during the first post and can't find how to delete it
Load More Replies... Lame Llama 2 years ago
I called my ex-friend when I had an anxiety attack when I couldn't reach an ex-bf. Years later, we got to talking about the ex, and she said "ya, of course I remember him. You were crying like a dog over him." That was the last straw, that's how she thought of me. We are no longer friends because of her judggy a**e.
Kate Fei 2 years ago
I had a very good friend, we met at university and spent a lot of time together (like every day after lectures). After graduating, we both ended up in different cities but we were talking constantly. Then one day we went to visit our common friend in a different city, my friend had a car and I went by train, we met at our friend's house. On the last day of our visit, there was a huge storm and the train service stopped and I had no way of getting home (there was no bus or anything), I had to get to work the next day so I was kind of panicking about how to get back. Since my friend had a car, I asked him to help me and take me to my city, it would take one hour to get me there and one hour for him to get home from my city. He refused saying some lame excuses (he said he had to get up early the next day, but it was only like 5 pm and he had to get up at 7 am). That was the exact moment when I knew our friendship was not real.
#61
She broke up with her boyfriend and hooked up with me and mine for a “crazy” night. We were all adults, consensual and discussed it beforehand and afterwards. We repeated the experience at her request. Two weeks later she decided to try and get back with her boyfriend and told him about her escapade. He apparently refused to take her back if she had slept around, so she told him my bf and I had drugged and taken advantage of her. Yeah. Bonus: I am myself a r**e survivor and she knows this. I felt disgusted with myself with the simple accusation of doing such a horrendous thing. Years later she reached out, apologized and we ironed things out. Of course, things never went back to before and I am sad I lost a friend I liked dearly.
Rayne OfSalt 2 years ago
If you're going to "experiment" with things, never do it with your anyone from your main friendship group. It always gets messy.
#64
One of my high school girlfriends spent the summer away. When she returned, my "friend" told her, "Damn, this dude really loves you." And then he slept with her. Turns out neither of them were my friends.
#65
She told me she'd talked with my boyfriend (my first serious bf) and he was breaking up with me. Then, as I'm crying and upset, she tells me she needs to go because she needs to talk to HER bf. Yeah, f****d up s**t.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I get the feeling the person broke up her relationship so she could date the boyfriend.
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Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
Stop giving us these depressing stories, BP. what happened to the old bored panda? None of this influencer, AITA, 51 reasons why life sucks, rubbish... this site is supposed to have lighthearted content to give you a bit of a break from the real world!
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
That you! If we wanted this other drama, we would go to those sites.
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Red Reilly 2 years ago
When I was starting out in my career and was broke, I used to suggest to my 'friend' to go to the local park which was really nice and we could chill in the sun and have some cans. Found out he was mocking slagging me off to people. 'He can't even afford to go to the pub'. Cut that guy out. He was Toxic.
WonderWoman 2 years ago
Had two different friends in and after high school that if I mentioned or appeared interested in a guy, they would go all out to get him, in front of me. Yeah, great for the self-esteem
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
I used to be in a very active doggy group. We would meet for walks and for drinks BBQ with our Dogs. One Sunday walking with the group the daughter about 13, asked me what church I went to. I told I didn't go to church. She was surprised and told her that not everybody goes to church or believes in religion. That I am an atheist, since then I haven't been invited to any of their social events.....
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 1 year ago
There is no such thing as a "best friend". Friends are just associates that you like hanging out with. Trust no one. Put up walls of defence. Learn to love yourself and be alone. It's a lot nicer and generic socialising keeps the loneliness away. ;)
FaceTime Audio 2 years ago
“Friend” from summer camp spent a summer being cold to me, but I couldn’t tell because I’m autistic and unable to read social cues well. The next summer, they were outright cruel. They were friends with all my “friends”, so they were always around. If I tried to talk, they’d call me annoying and tell me to shut up (I can be annoying, but never intentionally. I’m unaware, and I want to be told politely so I can keep relationships, but this wasn’t polite). I basically just couldn’t talk because of them. They insulted me constantly. Said that my favorite shirt “looked like a trash bag” and made me “look like a pervy uncle” while my whole tent agreed. I felt awful but I still couldn’t know what was happening, so I asked them straight up if they disliked me, and they said that they did, and had for years, but pretended to be friends with me because they didn’t feel like they had enough social cred to ditch me, but that this summer they did, and I was too dumb to notice.
FaceTime Audio 2 years ago
This person lied about everything, too. Said they had synaesthesia that made them have a color inside their head that doesn’t exist anywhere else, that they were hyperlexic because they would instantly read any word that they saw (self-diagnosed, of course). Different friend group told me to leave because no one liked me, I was too formal, I was too casual, they were “finders” and I didn’t fit in (whatever that means), and the kicker: that I “deadnamed them three times in the past week alone”. Except that I didn’t know their deadname. I hadn’t ever been told it, and I didn’t use it once because I wouldn’t ever do that and because I had no idea what their deadname was at the time (they told me when accusing me of calling them by it).
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Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
Stop giving us these depressing stories, BP. what happened to the old bored panda? None of this influencer, AITA, 51 reasons why life sucks, rubbish... this site is supposed to have lighthearted content to give you a bit of a break from the real world!
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
That you! If we wanted this other drama, we would go to those sites.
Load More Replies... Red Reilly 2 years ago
When I was starting out in my career and was broke, I used to suggest to my 'friend' to go to the local park which was really nice and we could chill in the sun and have some cans. Found out he was mocking slagging me off to people. 'He can't even afford to go to the pub'. Cut that guy out. He was Toxic.
WonderWoman 2 years ago
Had two different friends in and after high school that if I mentioned or appeared interested in a guy, they would go all out to get him, in front of me. Yeah, great for the self-esteem
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
I used to be in a very active doggy group. We would meet for walks and for drinks BBQ with our Dogs. One Sunday walking with the group the daughter about 13, asked me what church I went to. I told I didn't go to church. She was surprised and told her that not everybody goes to church or believes in religion. That I am an atheist, since then I haven't been invited to any of their social events.....
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 1 year ago
There is no such thing as a "best friend". Friends are just associates that you like hanging out with. Trust no one. Put up walls of defence. Learn to love yourself and be alone. It's a lot nicer and generic socialising keeps the loneliness away. ;)
FaceTime Audio 2 years ago
“Friend” from summer camp spent a summer being cold to me, but I couldn’t tell because I’m autistic and unable to read social cues well. The next summer, they were outright cruel. They were friends with all my “friends”, so they were always around. If I tried to talk, they’d call me annoying and tell me to shut up (I can be annoying, but never intentionally. I’m unaware, and I want to be told politely so I can keep relationships, but this wasn’t polite). I basically just couldn’t talk because of them. They insulted me constantly. Said that my favorite shirt “looked like a trash bag” and made me “look like a pervy uncle” while my whole tent agreed. I felt awful but I still couldn’t know what was happening, so I asked them straight up if they disliked me, and they said that they did, and had for years, but pretended to be friends with me because they didn’t feel like they had enough social cred to ditch me, but that this summer they did, and I was too dumb to notice.
FaceTime Audio 2 years ago
This person lied about everything, too. Said they had synaesthesia that made them have a color inside their head that doesn’t exist anywhere else, that they were hyperlexic because they would instantly read any word that they saw (self-diagnosed, of course). Different friend group told me to leave because no one liked me, I was too formal, I was too casual, they were “finders” and I didn’t fit in (whatever that means), and the kicker: that I “deadnamed them three times in the past week alone”. Except that I didn’t know their deadname. I hadn’t ever been told it, and I didn’t use it once because I wouldn’t ever do that and because I had no idea what their deadname was at the time (they told me when accusing me of calling them by it).
Load More Replies... You May Like Guy Refuses To Accept Break-Up With GF After Going On A Romantic Trip With A Female Friend "I Am Just So Hurt And Angry": Woman Decides To Ghost Friend Of 15 Years, Wants To Explain Why 28 Signs Of A Fake Friend And A Toxic Relationship
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