There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our other halves. We would give them the last packet of Reese’s. We would pretend we find their jokes funny only to make the moment for them (even if it’s the stupidest thing we’ve heard). And we would also keep some tiny little secrets from them, so that their life would be as enjoyable as it can be.
And one Reddit user decided to find out precisely what kind of secrets people carry to not upset their SOs. 10.3k comments and 27.4k upvotes later, we have the most awwww-inducing answers right below.
So get ready to melt, because if there’s anything that can save the world right now, it must be this pure form of love.
Several years ago one of our outside cats went missing, my wife's favorite. She was pretty upset. I had actually found the cat that morning and discovered what had actually happened to it. The facts and circumstances leading to it's death would upset her tremendously. She still thinks to this day the cat was taken by a rogue coyote or something when in reality, she had incidentally backed over it in the darkness of morning when leaving for work.
I've never been able to bring myself to tell her and never will. I felt awful for her. I even feel awful telling the internet about it now and it's been years!
My ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots of tequila in a party and passed out on the couch. When I went to check her, I noticed she pissed all over the couch. To avoid embarrassments, I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank (I'm that kind of boyfriend).
She still has no idea.
My wife has a beautiful heart. I jokingly call her a Disney princess because any animal that she comes across she has to talk to, and greet. She has cried by seeing a dead raccoon on the side of the road before.
At the time, I was working day shift and she was working a swing shift. I had a busy day, but I saw she sent me some pictures of a young doe that was eating in our front yard. She seemed thrilled. I came home and saw the same deer! Dead. On my god damned porch. I felt like I started to hear “the first 48” theme playing as I realized I have six hours to get rid of this thing before my wife gets home and her world is shattered. I call my local city authorities thinking they wouldn’t want a dead animal in the middle of town. Turns out, they couldn’t care less. I called some local raptor shelters to see if they could take a stat donation but it turns out the dead deer business is booming and they didn’t have a need for donations at this time, especially in the next 6 hours.
Frustrated, I call my dad to vent and get advice on what to do. His response is only a “Hold on bud, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” I go back inside to take care of the dogs and within the next 15 minutes I see me dad back his huge truck into my back yard, has the tail gait down and is knocking on my door with a pair of nitrile gloves on and another pair in hand for me. It was starting to get dark out, but we had that thing loaded up and found a special place to, uh. “Dispose” is it. We made it back with 20 minutes to spare before my wife got home.
I haven’t told my wife because I think it would either break her heart, or creep her out at how efficiently my dad can dump a body.
Anyway, wifey thinks her deer friend is alive and well, and totally not at the bottom of a ravine.
There are too many reasons why we’d choose to keep a secret from our other halves. And even though in any healthy relationship, the sense of emotional and physical privacy is something not to be forgotten about, sharing a secret may sometimes be healthier for your relationship.
But how do you know when it’s the right choice to do so? First of all, you should really consider whether the secret you're carrying is the kind that could hurt your relationship or marriage. These types of concerning secrets have to do with having an affair, hiding an illness, keeping an addiction hidden, lying about money, legal problems, and many more.
The first Christmas after I got together with my partner, he brought me a beautiful opal necklace. He knew it was my favorite stone. I suspect he paid quite a bit. He's mad proud of the thing and loves to see me wear it. He told me that when he brought it he paid for a slightly smaller opal, and the shop worker accidentally grabbed the wrong one so he got an upgrade to a bigger opal for free! My partner also has a whole thing against fake stones in jewelry, thinks it tacky, horrible dishonest etc. Long story short, what he doesn't realize is that my beautiful opal IS fake. See I suspect he paid for a real opal. But he probably wasn't meant to see that *opps* when the shopworker grabbed the bigger one. I suspect they ran a little con on him, charged him for a smaller real one and grabbed the larger fake instead. He thought the accident was in his favor so he never complained. I only know 1) The play of color and size in the opal I have would have cost a small house deposit if it had been real and there is no way he brought that as a uni student when we first go together and 2) A real opal would never have stood up to the wear and tear I have put it though - I literally never take it off, it comes for me on runs, in the salt water, in the shower etc all things that would have destroyed a real opal many years ago. 3) A friend brought a pair of earrings that matched my necklace (not on purpose) and she confirmed that my necklace and her earrings made up the stores imitation opal birthstone set. I love that fu**ing stone. I don't wear much jewelery, but I haven't taken that necklace off in three years. I have literally told him that if we get married one day, I'm having the thing pulled off the necklace and set into a ring (thats gonna be an awkward conversation with a jeweler). If I told him he'd probably feel really bad about it and want to get me a replacement. But I love the stupid thing so I won't tell.
I knew he was going to propose.
The man is so easy to read, he’s my open book! I love that about him, he wears all his emotions on his face. He’ll plan a trip for my birthday months in advance but then be so excited and proud about surprising me that he has to tell me straight away or make me guess where we’re going.
He’s not so cracking at surprises, so he’s always SO proud of himself that he surprised me that one time, and that I had no idea! Except I did, I heard him talking to his grandad about the ring and saw the heart shaped lump in his pocket, plus he’d been talking about marriage all the time thinking he was being sly. I’ll take it to the grave, it honestly makes him so happy and he’d be so disappointed with himself if he thought he’d given it away.
God I love that man
My SO thinks we've done a really great job teaching our dog not to get on the sofa.
In reality, he's exceptionally well trained to not go on the sofa when she's home. He jumps off sharpish when he hears her car park up outside.
However, if you decide to share a secret or a difficult matter with your significant other, you should also consider the right time to do so. Generally, if either one of you is drunk, before bedtime, when you’re angry, and when you’re tired or ill are the worst moments to talk about problematic subject matter.
Most importantly, you shouldn’t forget that there are many valid reasons why you may decide to keep a secret from your other half. You shouldn’t defend yourself for doing so, either. Not revealing something you feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or hurt about is totally fine as long as it doesn’t hurt your current relationship and total sense of happiness.
Few years ago my wife lost her grandfather, was working a sh*tty job, and was developing some of the medical issues we're currently dealing with. One night I went out to start her car to warm it up before her shift, and found a parking ticket. Pocketed it, paid it, and tossed it without her knowing. She didn't need that on top of everything else.
My boyfriend loves to show me memes/funny posts that he thinks I would find really funny, but I spend more time online than he does, so I've usually seen them well before he shows me. Every so often I pretend I haven't yet seen a post just so he gets the satisfaction of being the first to show me.
I feel really bad about how much money he spends on me (food, gifts, gas money) and he refuses to let me pay him back so sometimes I slip $5 and $10 bills into his wallet, pockets, and dresser drawers for him to "find". If he gives me his card to go into stores to buy something I use mine instead and don't tell him. He'd be really really sad if he found out because he loves taking care of me.
The first piece of jewellery I bought my wife was a necklace. We went on holiday and she lost it.
I said I would replace it but it wasn’t the same, she was upset that she’d lost it for sentimental reasons.
I emailed the hotel and of course they hadn’t found it. So I bought a replacement and told my wife they found it.
That just about every year I have to text her brother to remind him it’s her birthday or he won’t even realize and never reach out to her. It upsets her that he forgot again, and I’ll usually let it go until late in the evening, and then shoot him a quick reminder. He’ll call her, she gets so excited he remembered and it means the world to her. It’s not about making him look good, it’s about making her happy.
my SO’s first language isn’t english. he always says “really much” instead of “a lot.” i won’t tell him it’s incorrect, i love when he says “i love you really much.”
My exSO used to read me chapters from whatever book he was reading at the time. It was usually me that initiated it, mostly because it felt so warm and intimate, but also because I knew he had dyslexia and dysgraphia as a child so it would give him a little boost of confidence. But this also meant he was actually really terrible at reading stories. I’m talking pure monotone, it made any book extremely boring and I would cuddle up next to him so I could see it and read it in my head as he read. But I liked to think the good outweighed the bad, and I never told him!
His favorite dip is like 80% mayo. He has a terrible aversion to mayo. His mom has made it when he's not been around his whole life, and now I continue the charade. (It's a really good dip.)
My wife once did the joke:
Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The Chicken.
Over text with me. I "fell for it" because I knew it would make her happy.
She loves talking about how she "got me" and it makes her so happy I can't bring myself to tell her I was the one who told her the joke in the first place.
My girlfriend moved in with me a few months ago and wanted to split the monthly bills. I was already covering all of it so I was ok just continuing that way but she was insistent. She's also not making too much so instead of telling her the real amount, I told her a lower, but still believable amount to pay. It isn't much but I feel a little better knowing that she's saving up a bit more every month than she would've otherwise.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and the great advice! She's definitely marriage material, I'm shopping for the ring now (that's where a good amount of the extra money has been going!). The rest of the money is definitely going towards a down payment.
As for hurt feelings and sharing responsibilities, if she ever found out, she'd understand and appreciate the gesture. She's in her last year of school with a nice job lined up for afterwards already so we can always revisit finances later. Either way, she's amazing so I don't think she'd take it poorly.
My wife is a huge animal lover...volunteered at local shelters and such before our kids were born. One night years ago she was leaving work and outside the front door, she found a small bird, probably a sparrow, on the sidewalk. It didn't run or fly away so she assumed it was hurt. She ran back inside, got a box, and searched online for a bird rescue and found one about 20 to 30 min away. She drove the bird there, dropped it off, and they took her information because they said they would send her a card as a thank you. This was at least 6 or 7 years ago and she still brings it up every so often and remembers that they "never sent that card".
They did send the card thanking her for bringing the bird in for help. The card also said they euthanized the bird because it had broken bones in its wing, maybe from being hit by a car in the parking lot. I read it and crammed the card deep into the trash because I didn't want her to get upset that the bird she tried so hard to help had to be euthanized.
My wife saw a small dog on the side of the highway on the way home from work one night. It had been raining and the poor thing was soaked and she couldn’t catch it. She called me so I came out, got the dog wrapped up in a blanket and got ready to head to the humane society when she discover she dropped her keys somewhere in the grass.
I found the keys about 15 minutes later and we took off to see if this pup were chipped or not. There was no chip unfortunately, no tags and no way of finding ownership. My wife was so concerned about the pup, she insisted that they call and tell us what happens with her.
The next day, I get a call from them. The poor pup was riddled with cancer, which could be why it was abandoned in the first place. They ended up having to put the sweet thing down. I told my wife that they were able to contact the owner and the dog would be going home. It would have broken her heart to know that the last few days of that dogs life was being hungry and wet.
My wife planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me. I found out this was in the works because I found the invitation. It had fallen out of a stack of papers in her planner. I moved the planner as I was cleaning up and it slipped out onto the floor. This was 5 months before the party. The day of the party I just played it cool even though I knew what was going to happen. I walked into the room, everyone yelled, “surprise!!!” and I gave the biggest “oh my god I can’t believe it, I’m so surprised!” There were so many times where people accidentally gave it away and I just played dumb. After the party she asked if I knew. “Of course I didn’t know! How could I have known!” Can’t break her heart like that. She put a lot of work into the party and it was amazing!
My wife thinks that our beta fish mojito lived for like 5 years. What she doesn't know is that the role of mojito has been played by 3 separate beta fish over that time. RIP mojito 2 and 3.
That one of her biggest passions makes absolutely no sense to me. She's a jewelry artist, works for an actual jewelry company as a day job, and then makes stuff of her own to sell online (though lately she's been busy and hasn't done much of the second, though I'm trying to help her a bit so she can do it more.) And she just loves rocks. She'll come home with a bag full of rocks, practically jumping, telling me how she got all these for $50, and then go through the whole bag and show me every rock, tell me how this one is a so and so, and you can tell because it's this color and this hardness and feel how smooth it is and can you see the imperfection here and it just... It all goes way over my head.
And when I say rocks, I mean both actual rocks and gemstones. I've seen her get equally excited over a rock in a driveway as she has over some blue crystal she got from an auction. And every now and then I go online and research about these things so that I can talk with her about it, because holycrap her smile when she talks about those rocks she'ssobeautiful. But like, after I close the webpage going "Yeah, I know all about the difference between a ruby and a sapphire now!" (I literally only fucking know those names because of Pokemon), I basically immediately start forgetting stuff. Because... like... they're rocks? It's just dirt that hardened and got pressurized at the right way at the right kind of heat, or however they formed.
But on the other hand, it's completely fine that I always forget stuff about the rocks, because she loves telling me about them, and so far hasn't seemed bothered that she's had to tell me twice (or more), just excited that she could tell info.
Several years ago, my husband (BF at the time) worked for a small company owned by a very good friend of ours. I spoke with the friend quite a bit, and he confided in me that my husband was not a good employee, pretty unreliable, and the only reason he hadn’t been fired yet was our friend knew he was having a rough time after his mom died. I had also recently moved out of state to take care of my sick dad. My husband refused to come with me because he felt he couldn’t leave the company.
I was having a conversation one day with my husband and he mentioned another friend of his was having a hard time at this other company but felt he couldn’t leave because he had a baby on the way. He said, “I’d offer him my job if I thought my boss would hire him.”
So I conspired with our friend/the boss to get the other friend to quit his job and pretend he got fired. My husband then decided the only honorable thing to do was fall on his sword and give up his job to give to the other friend. He “talked” with the boss and “convinced” the boss to let him make the move. And it played out like that and my husband moved in with me. He ended up getting a job he liked better and he was happier being with me, so his performance was better.
We are still very good friends with the boss. To this day, we’ve kept the secret and it’s been almost 10 years. And every time I see him, he whispers in my ear how proud he is that my husband was able to move in with me and grow into a much healthier adult. But we’ll never tell him, because he’d be so embarrassed if he knew what our friend thought of him as an employee.
How much her apartment cleaning service costs.
My best friend growing up, practically my brother, owns a cleaning service. So I get the "owners' rate" -- they clean my house for $60/visit, which is insanely cheap here. When I first met my girlfriend, at some point in conversation it came up that I use a cleaning service, and she joked, "Oh, big shot pays other people to clean his house," so I told her how, fortunately for me, it's not really a big expense.
Fast forward a month or so, and she spent like a whole Friday night and Saturday cleaning. We both work a ton during the week so I was like, "I'll pay for your cleaning service so we have more time to spend together on weekends." She wouldn't let me pay for it, but asked me to sign her up with my friend's service, and she just gives me the $60 (or pays for some common expense in that range). Thing is, I couldn't get the owners' rate for her, so it's really like $150/visit. She loves having a cleaning service, and appreciates having more free time -- but she wouldn't pay $150 for it. I don't really care about the money, just want her to be happy, so I don't tell her what it costs.
Sometimes, I really like her singing. But a lot of the time, she's just straining way out of her range. It can almost sound like she is wailing or shouting. (Those aren't quite the right words, but I'm not going on the hunt for a thesaurus over this.) And it's fine. I mean, I can't really sing for sh*t, so even her bad singing is probably better than mine. But it can be really annoying. Sometimes, she'll be playing guitar to accompany herself, and she'll get so into the song she's singing that she'll start SLAMMING the strings. I don't know how else to describe it. She plays really well generally, but when she's excited, she hits the strings so hard they sound like they're going to break. That weird clanging music accompanied by the high, LOUD, cracking singing is truly cacophonous. I will never tell her. Not ever. She has so much fun doing it, I've decided that's just worth more than my temporary annoyance. I couldn't bear to let the wind out of her sails by telling her when she sounds irritating. It'd be a different story if she was performing at open mics or something, but she only plays to entertain herself.
When I do the laundry, I throw away any of my husbands underwear, t shirts or socks with holes in them. True story, I walked into our bedroom one night to find him laying in bed, knees bent & his balls hanging out of a tear in his boxers. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. Ever since then, I toss ‘em on the down low.
Every time before we leave the house I play a game where I try to guess what she's going to need while we're out and I grab it (e.g. warm hat and extra set of gloves, a small snack, inhaler, battery pack for phone, etc.)
Sometimes I like to slip it into her bag or purse without her noticing, other times I reveal that I had it all along in a critical moment.
When I was engaged to my now-husband, his mom paid up front for professional teeth whitening and convinced my husband's dental office staff to tell him he "won" a free teeth whitening the next time he came in for a cleaning.
I thought he would think it was BS and not do it anyway. He got home and was so excited, because "he never wins anything." It's been four years and I've never had the heart to tell him his mom actually paid for it and he didn't win anything.
When my girlfriend was pregnant she liked to take baths every night before bedtime. Every now and again, I’d join her and enjoy that relaxing hot water. One day we are both sitting in the tub when she farted a big nasty fart. She and I both laughed and I gave her sh*t for possibly breaking the tub. Then there it was, I notice a few brown things in the water. Turns out she had poo’ed a little. I was so absolutely disgusted that I nearly vomited. I didn’t want to freak out because I know she would feel absolutely terrible and impossibly embarrassed. So I turned the jets on, added some bubbles, and sat there with her for another 10-15 minutes. Afterwards I suggested that we both shower off because I had added too much soap for bubbles. I still think about those poop chunks floating around next to me whenever I take a bath.
Not me but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it. Doesn't matter if it's something like a package of oreos, if my dad has to bend over to find it he's never going to find it. I've tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm it works. He'd be mad if he knew how many snacks we'd hidden from him simply because he doesn't bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet.
When I go hiking with my wife I step on bear prints so she doesn't get nervous and make us turn around. I'll just be like make sure you are talking in case bears are around! But don't let her know I've seen a bear print*.
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