Cat Owners Explain How Cat Body Language Is Often Misinterpreted By ‘Dog People’
Apparently, people like to say that cats are evil. So much so that it made tumblr user Rabbit In Headlights post a rant, trying to put an end to this myth once and for all.
“I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs,” Rabbit In Headlights started their post, adding what they called “a very basic guide to common ‘mean’ things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all.”
I’m sure that dog owners and cat owners can get along and respect each other’s pets. After all, they share an immense love for animals. Let’s hope this post helps them to put their differences aside.
Image credits: rabbitinheadlights
The notion that cats don’t like people — even their owners — has been around for a while. It resurfaced a couple of years ago with the publication of a British study suggesting that in unfamiliar situations, cats don’t see their owners as a source of safety in the way that a human child might see a parent. Media really tried milking it; misleading headlines on this topic included “Sorry, But Your Cat Really Doesn’t Need You Around“, “Your Cat Doesn’t Care About You“, and the classic “Your Cat Hates You.” The study, however, was saying something very different.
Some of these clickbaity articles left out that the study had absolutely nothing to do with affection. To quote LiveScience, “Ask any cat person, however, and they would swear that Mr. Whiskers does love them. They may be right, [lead researcher Daniel] Mills said. The new findings simply mean cats don’t see their human companions as parent-like figures. For instance, in the Strange Situation test, parents don’t form a secure attachment to their babies because they don’t see their children as a ‘safe base’ — but it would be wildly inaccurate to say that parents don’t love their kids. It may simply be that feline-human love is rooted in something other than dependence.”
Natalie Cady Bishop of Cat Behavior Solved said people might think that cats don’t “love” their owners for quite a few reasons. “As humans, we tend to anthropomorphize our pets. Love is purely a human emotion. Cats, however, show and receive affection on their terms,” Cady Bishop told Bored Panda. They can do this by, for example, rubbing on a human. “Cats have scent glands on their face and at the base of their tail. Scent marking melds their scent with the human’s. Some cats lick or suckle on their owners. They purr when they are happy, (but can also purr if they are nervous).”
“If your cat bites you sometimes or gives you the cold shoulder, don’t take it the wrong way,” Cady Bishop highlighted. “They are just being a cat!”
But if you feel that your cat is biting you an excessive amount or displaying other problem behaviors that you would like to modify, you can contact the expert through her website.
Another person expanded on this
Image credits: jimminovak
Dr. Marci Koski, a certified feline behavior and training consultant, told Bored Panda that cats are very different animals from dogs. “They have different instincts for survival, different physical adaptations, and different ways of expressing how they feel,” she explained. “Furthermore, a lot of people forget that dogs and cats have a very different historical relationship with humans, which has influenced the way we see both of these animals today.”
“Dogs evolved with humans over the last 30-40 thousand years as protection and hunting partners — a very cooperative arrangement! Cats, on the other hand, developed a relationship with humans in only the last 10,000 years or so, and it was largely hands-off — they took care of rodents, and people benefited from having their grain stores protected. So, the behaviors that cats and dogs demonstrate towards humans are very different by nature.”
Dr. Koski added that she prefers the term ‘cat guardian’ to ‘cat owner’ which in and of itself says a lot about said differences.
“I think that humans simply don’t understand cats as well as dogs,” Dr. Koski continued. “Dogs are not subtle about showing their affection towards their humans, so perhaps people expect the same thing from their cats. Cats, however, demonstrate their feelings with more refinement. Dogs come from a place of ‘what can I do for you to make you happy, because that will make me happy!’, whereas, I view cats as wanting more reciprocal relationships with humans, like ‘this relationship has to be a two-way street — I’ll do for you, but you also have to do for me.'”
And pretty soon more and more people started relating to them
Image credits: squeakykins
Image credits: blome3kissesbitch
Image credits: blome3kissesbitch
I recently lost my beloved cat of 16 years and this hits hard. And is accurate. EDIT: I just wanted to thank you all for the kinds words. And as some mentioned, yes, I adopted a new kitty. I have the means and everything just felt so empty without a furry beast around. Luna is slowly adjusting and will be spoiled and loved every day.
I am sorry to read this. I know it very well myself and it is hard every time. I always try to remember the good time we had together and the great time we had together. Instead of getting too focused on the loss. Unfortunately we are all transient. I know that this does not help. A loss is a loss and always weighs heavy. I wish you that things will get better soon. Your cat is now romping with my rascals over the lush green meadows in cat heaven. There is cat grass and caresses in abundance.
Thank you for the kind reply. I know that my "crazy cat lady" great-aunt will be spoiling her rotten. I have also decide that I cannot live without a little furry beast and adopted Luna on Halloween. She will be spoiled all her life.
Years ago a pregnant stray turned up on my doorstep. I took her in so the kittens would grow up among people instead of becoming feral. Because she was a scruffy long-hair I named her Ragamuffin. I found good forever homes for all five of the kittens, and had Rags fixed. She was my companion for 17 years. RIP, Rags.
Rags had an amazing life and you are a great human being for taking care of her and her kittens. Now Rags and Ebony are planning shenanigans together.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat in 2018 and I still miss her. They really do become family.
Cats are the best people and I will always miss her. I adopted another black kitty yesterday (on Halloween), because I cannot be without a cat in my life and I have the means to provide for a great life. Even if it might be too soon.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am dreading the day(s) I will have to say goodbye to (one of) my cat(s). Had a rabbit die on me as a teenager and that really messed me up. Trying to focus on the good memories instead of the loss is hard, especially at first. Hope you feel less devastated soon, sending warm comforting vibes your way x
Thank you. I see in your profile a black cat and it is adorable. Ebony was also black, and I adopted a new one yesterday. I can give her a great life instead of letting her be in foster care another month. Cats are amazing creatures.
@Jayne Kyra: yes they are! Ebony is a wonderful name for a black cat, my 2 cats are sisters from a litter that was set up by those people because they wanted a kitten with x as the female and y as the father but only wanted 1 kitten so we took the unwanted ones, Pixie and Rexy. If that wasn’t in our path, we’d go to the rescue centers but for now let them live long and healthy 🙏🏻 Best of luck & joy with the new one. Both with bonding/kaying downs the rules and as healthy as that one can be 💜 So big of you that you can already care for the new one while processing the grief. They all deserve better lives that be in foster care, that’s for sure.
That stings. Hopefully one day you will have a new friend in your life.
Thank you. And... yes, I decided I could not exist without a furry little beast in my life. So now Luna is getting used to her forever home, hiding still and confused because the flat still probably smells of Ebony. But she will have a luxurious life and will be spoiled every day. She has been in foster care since February. About time she found a loving home.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a deep pain when you lose a pet. They’re family too. I hope you can look back at the great memories more than feel the heartache.
Thank you for the kid words. And yes, I reminisce often. For example on how she once chewed off the shoelaces of a mum´s client (she´s a translator who works from home). The man came to have papers translated because he had his foot amputated. Thankfully, he did not mind and was even proud of Ebony´s feat.
I'm so sorry for your loss Jayne. My beloved Peter passed away suddenly in March aged 5. He had an undiagnosed heart problem. It was very traumatic and painful. I wasn't going to get another cat but then a stray needed my help. She has been with me since July and has helped my heart heal. Unknown to me she was pregnant and gave birth to three healthy kittens in August. Sending hugs to you xxxx
When I lost my sweet Kookoo to heart failure even after treating her heart problem for over a year, I was devastated and still tear up as I write this (it's been 9 years). A year after she passed, on the very same date, a lost cat found me and decided my home would be a good place to live. He has been with me ever since and helped me heal my loss. I don't know how old he is or where he came from, and under what circumstances he ended up lost (or abandoned) but I adore him and although I still miss my Kookoo, Fritz has really helped me by being as loving and sweet
I am sorry for your loss. I too, recently lost one of my elderly cats. She was 21. I feel your pain. Bless you and your new family member. Don't worry, I have more fur babies.
Linda HS like
When I lost my cat in 2015, I don’t think I made it two weeks without having to seek out comfort in the paws of someone else! I went with a dog, just because I couldn’t handle another cat after being with the same one for what seemed like 20 years, or at least knowing him almost that long. I still miss him every day, but I have all those good memories to share with my dog, since she loves kitties!! We live on a farm and have 3 barn cats that my pup adopted and I’m supposed to be opening my home to, according to the 4 of them! ;-)
Cats aren't "aloof" as we tend to think... they will miss you and cry when you leave. Mine does, and it breaks my heart when I know he'll be alone for long.
I'll never forget the look that one of our cats (more my parents' cats, now) gave me when I returned from my academic year in a different country - it was utter shock! That cat loved me and I'd always cuddled her intensely; being gone for nearly a year must have been quite a betrayal, especially since I was clearly still alive! She just stared at me and then ran away. It took her awhile to warm up to me again and I'm afraid it's never been the same (especially as I've long since moved out).
I was in the hospital when the lockdown started and had to miss my cats for over 3 months. And they are very depending on me and are mostly scared of my husband so it broke my heart. 3rd month there were a few times I could see my babies from afar during our calls when my hubby would point the camera to them (they never came near him but weren’t hiding anymore either -we have sheets draped over their furniture for extra coverage/safe haven). I cried so much when I saw them, just black spots with eyes but mine in real time instead of just their pictures. Happy I’m home now! Sorry for the sentimental comment 🙈
Never owned a cat. Still don't own any. I'm just here for the cute cat photos. EDIT: A delightful read. I knew most of these, but the explanation was really helpful. By the way, is there any tips for approaching stray cats? I try my best not to get aggressively excited, and do the “slowly blink to tell them you love them” thingy, but I wanna make sure I'm not doing anything that may be scaring these little babies!
Cats are a bit like dogs when it comes to approaching. Cats work very strongly on smells, but they can also very well perceive the energy of a person. If someone is nervous or aggressive, they notice this immediately. My tip, as with all animals: the human does not go to the animal, but the animal to the human. They already know very well who they can trust. Sometimes they also want to observe first. With strays, I would simply sit close by, maybe even with my back to the animal, and let the cat decide for itself whether it wants to or not. Many strays have had bad experiences in life, with sounds and also with people. They may not be used to interacting with people and may not even know that humans want something good for them. Cats are overcautious when it comes to such things. Of course, treats can also help, but the love of a cat is not something you can buy. Even then it decides for itself whether it wants to be stroked or not.
For many cats the pure closeness to humans is enough, stroking is then not so important. Besides, it can take days and weeks until a cat builds up trust. Not every cat becomes a best friend on the first day.
As an addition to the other comment: Cats do scratch occasionally, so petting always comes with a small risk. However, scratching really doesn't mean that they dislike you, it's either "stop doing what you did just now!" or "hey, are we playing?!". If a cat scratches you and can't think of anything you did wrong when petting, you might be able to play! A stick or a long stalk of grass works really well. But remember that cat's don't hunt like dogs - dogs chase their prey, cats ambush it: they approach quietly, trying to hide, and watch carefully for a moment when the prey doesn't move, so they can attack. So, when playing, move the stick like a mouse, let it hide under or behind things (cats LOVE this!), and have it sit still occasionally - that's the cat's signal to attack. Cats absolutely do have excess energy sometimes, where they'll be happily running in circles in purchase of a stick - but mostly, they hunt from ambush and need a moment when the prey SITS STILL.
Tying into the scratching thing, some cats get overstimulated very quickly, and that generally means a nip (or more, depending on how long you persist).
It's possible to initiate contact with a cat, but the actual contact is a mutual decision. Making soft noises (I usually click my tongue VERY softly) gets their attention, while looking intently, blinking, leaning forward and reaching out with the arm signal a desire to make contact. HOWEVER ,you also need to signal that you "come in peace" and mean no harm. Crouching or kneeling down is a good way to do that - it means that you don't tower as much over the cat and appear less dangerous. Extend your hand, look, blink, maaaybee move toward the cat very slowly and carefully, but watch how relaxed it looks. Hope that it will move toward you. If it does, keep your hand extended - it allows the cat to get a sniff at a bit of a distance. Let it sniff - wait until it's clearly done, i.e. moves its nose away. If it seems relaxed, you might now be allowed to pet it, as long as you don't make sudden movements.
there is a stray cat in a garden centre thing near me, it is used to company so if you are gentle it lets you pet and even sometimes feed it! If it is used to be around people, approach carefully and make sure it knows you don't want to hurt it. If it's not used to people, I'm not as sure, but make sure it doesn't see you as a threat.
This comment has been deleted.
A small but big thing is reaching out with your palm facing down, fingers relaxed, instead of palm facing up, hand open. Simply because the first posture doesn’t need as many muscles and you don’t appear as tensed, which can be translated in nervous or anxious. That’s just a detail that makes a lot of difference with my cats whenever they come near a stranger (which is a rarity in itself but when they’re quiet enough and stay long enough, it does happen). Also, don’t look at the cat. The slowly blinking is good but don’t overdo it either, that’s not natural behavior either so look aside of them. Turn sideways if you want to keep an eye on them or ideally turn your back if you sense tension in the cat to disconnect the active part of the interaction for a second. That allows for all sensors of the cat to calm down and process all the sensory input they have gained up to that moment. You can break up that tension a bit any time while still moving towards the cat by looking away
Stop a few feet away, get down to their level, proffer a hand and see if they approach you. If they don't, just have a little distance visit. In other words, let them make the decision. The exception to this is that sometimes cats that are completely domesticated are (for one reason or another) outside. These cats (usually sitting or lying and looking very relaxed) will allow you to approach and pet them. But even in this case, approach slowly and offer a hand a few inches away - see if they move closer to be petted and only pet the part that they offer you (cheek or chin, most often, or top of head.
I recently lost my beloved cat of 16 years and this hits hard. And is accurate. EDIT: I just wanted to thank you all for the kinds words. And as some mentioned, yes, I adopted a new kitty. I have the means and everything just felt so empty without a furry beast around. Luna is slowly adjusting and will be spoiled and loved every day.
I am sorry to read this. I know it very well myself and it is hard every time. I always try to remember the good time we had together and the great time we had together. Instead of getting too focused on the loss. Unfortunately we are all transient. I know that this does not help. A loss is a loss and always weighs heavy. I wish you that things will get better soon. Your cat is now romping with my rascals over the lush green meadows in cat heaven. There is cat grass and caresses in abundance.
Thank you for the kind reply. I know that my "crazy cat lady" great-aunt will be spoiling her rotten. I have also decide that I cannot live without a little furry beast and adopted Luna on Halloween. She will be spoiled all her life.
Years ago a pregnant stray turned up on my doorstep. I took her in so the kittens would grow up among people instead of becoming feral. Because she was a scruffy long-hair I named her Ragamuffin. I found good forever homes for all five of the kittens, and had Rags fixed. She was my companion for 17 years. RIP, Rags.
Rags had an amazing life and you are a great human being for taking care of her and her kittens. Now Rags and Ebony are planning shenanigans together.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat in 2018 and I still miss her. They really do become family.
Cats are the best people and I will always miss her. I adopted another black kitty yesterday (on Halloween), because I cannot be without a cat in my life and I have the means to provide for a great life. Even if it might be too soon.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am dreading the day(s) I will have to say goodbye to (one of) my cat(s). Had a rabbit die on me as a teenager and that really messed me up. Trying to focus on the good memories instead of the loss is hard, especially at first. Hope you feel less devastated soon, sending warm comforting vibes your way x
Thank you. I see in your profile a black cat and it is adorable. Ebony was also black, and I adopted a new one yesterday. I can give her a great life instead of letting her be in foster care another month. Cats are amazing creatures.
@Jayne Kyra: yes they are! Ebony is a wonderful name for a black cat, my 2 cats are sisters from a litter that was set up by those people because they wanted a kitten with x as the female and y as the father but only wanted 1 kitten so we took the unwanted ones, Pixie and Rexy. If that wasn’t in our path, we’d go to the rescue centers but for now let them live long and healthy 🙏🏻 Best of luck & joy with the new one. Both with bonding/kaying downs the rules and as healthy as that one can be 💜 So big of you that you can already care for the new one while processing the grief. They all deserve better lives that be in foster care, that’s for sure.
That stings. Hopefully one day you will have a new friend in your life.
Thank you. And... yes, I decided I could not exist without a furry little beast in my life. So now Luna is getting used to her forever home, hiding still and confused because the flat still probably smells of Ebony. But she will have a luxurious life and will be spoiled every day. She has been in foster care since February. About time she found a loving home.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a deep pain when you lose a pet. They’re family too. I hope you can look back at the great memories more than feel the heartache.
Thank you for the kid words. And yes, I reminisce often. For example on how she once chewed off the shoelaces of a mum´s client (she´s a translator who works from home). The man came to have papers translated because he had his foot amputated. Thankfully, he did not mind and was even proud of Ebony´s feat.
I'm so sorry for your loss Jayne. My beloved Peter passed away suddenly in March aged 5. He had an undiagnosed heart problem. It was very traumatic and painful. I wasn't going to get another cat but then a stray needed my help. She has been with me since July and has helped my heart heal. Unknown to me she was pregnant and gave birth to three healthy kittens in August. Sending hugs to you xxxx
When I lost my sweet Kookoo to heart failure even after treating her heart problem for over a year, I was devastated and still tear up as I write this (it's been 9 years). A year after she passed, on the very same date, a lost cat found me and decided my home would be a good place to live. He has been with me ever since and helped me heal my loss. I don't know how old he is or where he came from, and under what circumstances he ended up lost (or abandoned) but I adore him and although I still miss my Kookoo, Fritz has really helped me by being as loving and sweet
I am sorry for your loss. I too, recently lost one of my elderly cats. She was 21. I feel your pain. Bless you and your new family member. Don't worry, I have more fur babies.
Linda HS like
When I lost my cat in 2015, I don’t think I made it two weeks without having to seek out comfort in the paws of someone else! I went with a dog, just because I couldn’t handle another cat after being with the same one for what seemed like 20 years, or at least knowing him almost that long. I still miss him every day, but I have all those good memories to share with my dog, since she loves kitties!! We live on a farm and have 3 barn cats that my pup adopted and I’m supposed to be opening my home to, according to the 4 of them! ;-)
Cats aren't "aloof" as we tend to think... they will miss you and cry when you leave. Mine does, and it breaks my heart when I know he'll be alone for long.
I'll never forget the look that one of our cats (more my parents' cats, now) gave me when I returned from my academic year in a different country - it was utter shock! That cat loved me and I'd always cuddled her intensely; being gone for nearly a year must have been quite a betrayal, especially since I was clearly still alive! She just stared at me and then ran away. It took her awhile to warm up to me again and I'm afraid it's never been the same (especially as I've long since moved out).
I was in the hospital when the lockdown started and had to miss my cats for over 3 months. And they are very depending on me and are mostly scared of my husband so it broke my heart. 3rd month there were a few times I could see my babies from afar during our calls when my hubby would point the camera to them (they never came near him but weren’t hiding anymore either -we have sheets draped over their furniture for extra coverage/safe haven). I cried so much when I saw them, just black spots with eyes but mine in real time instead of just their pictures. Happy I’m home now! Sorry for the sentimental comment 🙈
Never owned a cat. Still don't own any. I'm just here for the cute cat photos. EDIT: A delightful read. I knew most of these, but the explanation was really helpful. By the way, is there any tips for approaching stray cats? I try my best not to get aggressively excited, and do the “slowly blink to tell them you love them” thingy, but I wanna make sure I'm not doing anything that may be scaring these little babies!
Cats are a bit like dogs when it comes to approaching. Cats work very strongly on smells, but they can also very well perceive the energy of a person. If someone is nervous or aggressive, they notice this immediately. My tip, as with all animals: the human does not go to the animal, but the animal to the human. They already know very well who they can trust. Sometimes they also want to observe first. With strays, I would simply sit close by, maybe even with my back to the animal, and let the cat decide for itself whether it wants to or not. Many strays have had bad experiences in life, with sounds and also with people. They may not be used to interacting with people and may not even know that humans want something good for them. Cats are overcautious when it comes to such things. Of course, treats can also help, but the love of a cat is not something you can buy. Even then it decides for itself whether it wants to be stroked or not.
For many cats the pure closeness to humans is enough, stroking is then not so important. Besides, it can take days and weeks until a cat builds up trust. Not every cat becomes a best friend on the first day.
As an addition to the other comment: Cats do scratch occasionally, so petting always comes with a small risk. However, scratching really doesn't mean that they dislike you, it's either "stop doing what you did just now!" or "hey, are we playing?!". If a cat scratches you and can't think of anything you did wrong when petting, you might be able to play! A stick or a long stalk of grass works really well. But remember that cat's don't hunt like dogs - dogs chase their prey, cats ambush it: they approach quietly, trying to hide, and watch carefully for a moment when the prey doesn't move, so they can attack. So, when playing, move the stick like a mouse, let it hide under or behind things (cats LOVE this!), and have it sit still occasionally - that's the cat's signal to attack. Cats absolutely do have excess energy sometimes, where they'll be happily running in circles in purchase of a stick - but mostly, they hunt from ambush and need a moment when the prey SITS STILL.
Tying into the scratching thing, some cats get overstimulated very quickly, and that generally means a nip (or more, depending on how long you persist).
It's possible to initiate contact with a cat, but the actual contact is a mutual decision. Making soft noises (I usually click my tongue VERY softly) gets their attention, while looking intently, blinking, leaning forward and reaching out with the arm signal a desire to make contact. HOWEVER ,you also need to signal that you "come in peace" and mean no harm. Crouching or kneeling down is a good way to do that - it means that you don't tower as much over the cat and appear less dangerous. Extend your hand, look, blink, maaaybee move toward the cat very slowly and carefully, but watch how relaxed it looks. Hope that it will move toward you. If it does, keep your hand extended - it allows the cat to get a sniff at a bit of a distance. Let it sniff - wait until it's clearly done, i.e. moves its nose away. If it seems relaxed, you might now be allowed to pet it, as long as you don't make sudden movements.
there is a stray cat in a garden centre thing near me, it is used to company so if you are gentle it lets you pet and even sometimes feed it! If it is used to be around people, approach carefully and make sure it knows you don't want to hurt it. If it's not used to people, I'm not as sure, but make sure it doesn't see you as a threat.
This comment has been deleted.
A small but big thing is reaching out with your palm facing down, fingers relaxed, instead of palm facing up, hand open. Simply because the first posture doesn’t need as many muscles and you don’t appear as tensed, which can be translated in nervous or anxious. That’s just a detail that makes a lot of difference with my cats whenever they come near a stranger (which is a rarity in itself but when they’re quiet enough and stay long enough, it does happen). Also, don’t look at the cat. The slowly blinking is good but don’t overdo it either, that’s not natural behavior either so look aside of them. Turn sideways if you want to keep an eye on them or ideally turn your back if you sense tension in the cat to disconnect the active part of the interaction for a second. That allows for all sensors of the cat to calm down and process all the sensory input they have gained up to that moment. You can break up that tension a bit any time while still moving towards the cat by looking away
Stop a few feet away, get down to their level, proffer a hand and see if they approach you. If they don't, just have a little distance visit. In other words, let them make the decision. The exception to this is that sometimes cats that are completely domesticated are (for one reason or another) outside. These cats (usually sitting or lying and looking very relaxed) will allow you to approach and pet them. But even in this case, approach slowly and offer a hand a few inches away - see if they move closer to be petted and only pet the part that they offer you (cheek or chin, most often, or top of head.