‘We Legit Buy Boy Pants For Our Daughter’: Man Shares How He Realized Girls’ Over-Sexualization Begins With Clothes
TikToker @ericasaysstuff recently asked dads of daughters to tell about the moment they realized the oversexualization of women starts incredibly young. Michael Vaughn, a husband and proud father of a 14-month-old daughter, Eleanor, had a lot to say about that matter.
“It was 100% the clothes. And I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn’t know how bad,” Michael stated in a TikTok video which amassed a whopping 3.3 million views. He then continued to tell his concerns about the systematic sexism which became obvious when shopping for clothes for his daughter.
So let’s see Michael’s eye-opening video right below, which will surely make us question the ways our society may be reinforcing this toxic mindset at the most vulnerable and earliest age, often without us adults even noticing it.
Michael, a dad of a 14-month-old daughter, responded to a TikToker asking dads to share how they realized that girls are being oversexualized at a very young age
@world.shaker##stitch with @ericasaysstuff ##parenting ##girldad ##walmartsethrogen ##babyclothes♬ Emotional Piano Instrumental In E Minor – Tom Bailey Backing Tracks
He said it was while shopping for clothes for his daughter that he noticed things were very bad
Bored Panda reached out to Michael Vaugh, a proud dad, husband, and educational presenter and trainer who has worked in higher education for 15 years where he helped faculty, staff, and students find new ways to use technology to enhance their teaching and learning.
These days, Michael is taking TikTok by storm with his educational videos where he has tackled various useful parenting topics like best baby items in a car, understanding the phenomenon of cuteness aggression, and covering infant health outcomes.
Michael told us that it all started when “a friend of ours had recommended it a few months into the pandemic. My partner and I had our baby about a month before the pandemic started. Having a pandemic baby turned out to be extremely difficult. One thing I wasn’t able to do with our daughter that I’d really been looking forward to was volunteering with a local class called Boot Camp For New Dads.”
Michael said that “but by the time the class I was scheduled to volunteer for came around, our state was already in lockdown due to COVID,” so he got into TikTok. “It turned out to be a great outlet for sharing some of the things I’d learned with other new dads. The community on the app is really something special,” he added.
When asked how big of a problem the systematic over-sexualization of girls really is, Michael said it’s pretty significant. “Clothes are just one example. I’d encourage anyone seeing this to go read through the comments on the video. There are literally hundreds (possibly thousands given the volume of comments) of women sharing experiences being catcalled, shamed, and sexualized starting at a very young age.”
“But to focus on the clothes in particular: When you compare girls clothes to boy clothes, seemingly everything related to size is different. According to the United States Center for Disease Control’s growth charts, the average difference in size between a 36-month-old boy and girl is about half an inch and three-quarters of a pound.”
According to him, “despite this nearly imperceptible difference, girl’s clothes are often tighter than boys clothes in the same size, are made of flimsy and transparent fabric, and have shorter sleeves, shorter midriffs, shorter inseams, and lower necklines.”
“In the meantime, young boys have clothes that are durable, protective, and emphasize power in their sayings and iconography. The disparities in clothing are just one-way society reinforces the toxic mindset that female bodies are intended to be displayed, and conditions young girls to believe objectification is normal,” Michael explained.
Michael doesn’t think it should be this difficult to find what he calls “platonic clothing” for children
And this is what people had to comment on it
Necklines as well. I found that very frustrating, that they are so much lower in girls' clothes, for no reason and even in winter. Toddler clothes for girls are designed to reveal more skin than toddler clothes for boys. It isn't healthy for society. I also remember when it was the fashion to have the Playboy bunny symbol on stuff for girls, including for newborns. "I might be tiny now, but just look at me and project your idea of how sexually attractive and available I'll be if you wait". BTW, it isn't sexualisation - that's what we do to boys, teach them everything is about getting their rocks off - it's objectification. We teach girls they are sexy objects for the boys to make use of. I have taught my kids to shop for clothes from 'both sides of the shop' because it's all nonsense anyway. Girls need tough clothing for rough play, and boys like cute animals on their clothes, or pink and purple. Neither of them turn a hair, and they're now nearly 18 and 12.
It all depends on consumers, and sadly, consumers are easily manipulated by businesses, by politicians, and whom ever. All those "must have" advertisements are just justification for higher pricing, and they, in fact, are "don't need at all".
Load More Replies...I always wondered why my mom bought me boy pants when I was a kid, now I understand I guess. I still prefer man pants until now, much more comfortable AND the pockets are actually big and useful! F**k fake pockets.
Yes! Forget 'boyfriend' jeans. I just buy guys jeans. And sweatshirts. They're actually warm. Who wants thin and skin tight in Minnesota winter?
Load More Replies...I've always hated seeing two piece swimsuits for 3yo girls. Luckily it's still a rarity here. Just panties for both sexes usually
Two piece is good if it's the rash guard/swim pant combo that's gaining in popularity. It provides sun protection while being comfortable and not gendered.
Load More Replies...Clothes for girls/women are made for fashion or a statement, not for comfort or function. Look at women's jackets for example. It is so hard to find a nice, decent one. They are made so thin or short etc that it won't protect you from the elements. Let's not forget the pants with no pockets, the sexist slogans, shorts and skirts getting shorter and shorter etc. It's ridiculous, and what is worse is that girls and women's clothes are generally more expensive too and for less material.
The comment about kids dating is one I have always felt. She said she thinks it’s weird when people talk about children dating and when she brings it up nobody agrees with her. But I agree! Encouraging a child (usually a toddler) to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and give hugs and kisses just screams creepy pedo to me, and yet it’s super common. I had a friend that would encourage her toddler to “get it” when she danced by shaking her butt to raunchy music. Like, everything isn’t meant for kids. Sassy / teasing clothes, certain music, dating, etc isn’t for kids. That’s fùcking creepy and disgusting.
Mara Wilson, the little girl in Mrs Doubtfire, recently wrote an article about how young girls are sexualized in media in an op-ed in the New York Times. It was in response to the documentary "framing Brittany", but it really touched on this issue. Mara talks about being asked about dating at 6 yrs old, and being photo shopped into porn at 12. Excellent article. made me think, if this is how we treat our child female stars, before they are any where near adults, no wonder there is a Me Too movement. i would love to hear the male side of her editorial
Load More Replies...When I was seven, my mother passed away and my father didn't understand girl's sizes, so he pretty much just bought boy clothes for me, which I was actually very fine with except for the boy's dress shoes he insisted I wear to school. I was wearing brown corduroy pants, generic t-shirts, a two-toned brown puff coat, and boy's dress shoes. I got picked on for those shoes. I was happy to wear sneakers to school again. Nobody seemed to care about the rest of my clothes not being girly. Also, I was in a check out lane behind a woman in a Hobby Lobby and she had a whole phrase on her butt. I tried to read what it said, but she got very angry that I was looking at her butt. If you don't want people looking at your butt, don't put stuff to read there.
Lmao I always read the words on people's butts and chest and then get awkward
Load More Replies...Ironically, 100+ years ago both boys and girls were put in dresses up until about 3 or 4, because it was easier to change a diaper if there were no pants involved. It's strange to see a photo of some male historical figure as a toddler and see what appears to be a little girl.
Yup this is so true. I put my baby girl into her older brothers baby clothes that we still had. It's really gross how babies are being forced into tight clothes right at the start. I wanted to puke in my mouth when I saws a sexualized girls halloween costume for 5 year olds at walmart. This world disgusts me daily.
100% agree. I have such hard time buying clothes for my niece ever since she was born. Everything is pink, glittery and so so uncomfortable and two sizes short.. we always dress her in boys clothes.
I once saw a shirt in the toddler boy's section that said, "sorry, girls, I only date models." Gross.
Very sadly, this father and those expressing agreement are in a minority. The reason these 'girl' clothes are like this is because the majority will buy them. They actively seek to promote the sexuality of their daughters, even if subconsciously. The direction of our 'civilised' society is loathsome and deeply disturbing.
It's also a vicious circle: people want to buy in their child's "department" (or just don't think to buy in the boys' section) so all you can buy for your girl is pink, glittery, sexualized, tight, etc. Which means it looks like it's selling and what people want so more of it is made. And the circle starts again.
Load More Replies...My daughter hates showing skin. She hates standard bathing suits. I have very pale skin and my bathing suit is a rash guard top and board shorts, which gets me odd looks at the beach. After months of searching for something both cute and covering, we finally found a swim dress for her that included lycra leggings. I don't think these kinds of things should be so difficult to find. Not everybody wants to flaunt their body. When I was a kid, if you wanted to cover up, you wore a t-shirt over your bathing suit, but a wet t-shirt isn't comfortable and ends up showing everything when wet anyway. I don't mind girls and women who enjoy less coverage, but there should be more options available.
All parents should let their children choose what kind of clothes they want to wear. If a kid wants to wear ruffles and skirts let them, if they want to wear "boy shorts" and dino T-shirts, let them!
And in the years before the they are old enough to choose? My newborn was given a onesie that impled she was going to be pole dancer when she grew up - a "joke" from "Uncle John" (who is no longer welcome at our house for a whole range of similar behaviours). That kind of thing should not even exist for children. Thats the point. Why does oversexualised clothing for children even exist? If clothing for girls was more appropriate I wouldn't have to police it.
Load More Replies...I remember a kid in my 6th grade class accidentally came in wearing a V-Neck and got laughed at for wearing a women’s tee. At first I didn’t know that was a thing, then it hit me.
And even girls pants, WHY DO THEY NOT HAVE REAL POCKETS IN THE FRONT!!!
Load More Replies...I have been saying this for years! I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a girl under the age of 10 wearing hoochy clothing. The running joke between my husband and me is that if they're going to make their parents money on the corner, you gotta start 'em off young with their clothes. Yes, it's that bad! I don't know what parents are thinking. And don't tell me, 'But that's what she likes to wear.' She's a child. They like to do lots of things that parents should not be allowing. Besides, that is what parenting means. To look at today's parents, you'd think that children are born and take care of themselves with no intervention because their parent surely let them run the show. And I also HATE it when adults jokingly ask a child, as young as four that I've witnessed, if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Good grief! Why can't we just let kids be kids? They have plenty of time to driven crazy by dating, but adults seem bent on getting them there faster. So twisted!
I also find the ridiculously over-gendered boy clothes irritating. Why does this kid need a camo onesie? Who is he hiding from? Why do all little boy shirts seem to have no color outside of green, black or various neutrals? Why do they all need a superhero with a macho phrase or truck or something? All kids clothes should be a variety of brights and neutrals and simple comfy clothing.
It's like girl clothes always say stuff like "Glitter + rainbows = Me" And the boys shirts are like "S**t your Pants" and "Kill your sister"
This. Definitely. I've only had godsons, but buying for my nieces? Forget it. I just bought them boy clothes. Only one person objected, and she wasn't the parent. I mean, really, what 3-month-old needs a pink glitter top saying HOT STUFF....??!?!?!?! I didn't need one at 20!
I only ever bought gender neutral clothes for my baby. They are common in my country.
Perhaps things are easier where I live (Belgium) because I can find unisex clothes for babies at the simplest of stores. But I do agree that many clothes for girls, from size newborn on, are super girly, tight, inappropriate texts or images for the little ones (tiger stripes / panther print for babies anyone???) ... But also: baby boy clothes can be super boyish. No baby boy needs 'tough guy' clothes either. Personally, I just don't buy the things I find too girly, but it's not hard either to just navigate around them. I shop at both boy&girl departments for my girls (10, 7 and 4 months) and they're perfectly cool with that too.
As a grown up female, I still wonder why all the clothes I have to choose from are 1, sausage case leggings, 2, ruffled, 3, hyper pink, and 4, glittery. Or flowery, or the most uncomfortable freaking material I’ve ever touched.... I hated that crap as a kid, I still hate that crap. I bought nothing but guy’s clothing from age 12-24, when I got too curvy for their pants to be comfortable. Buying anything now is a nightmare.
if you can't find good shorts, girls, shop in the boys' section for shorts. they're much longer and comfier. also most of the time boys' shirts & jeans/pants are better... know what just shop the boys section whenever for whatever
I actually look into the girl side of Walmart for my son because my baby likes bright colours and the Trolls franchise. Plus girls have more Holiday stuff than boys. Why can't clothes be the same for both? Give boys ruffles! Give girls pockets!
I have nothing to do with babies, but I faced this issue as well when shopping for new spring/summer clothes as a teenager. Everything seemed flowery, brightly coloured, glittery, lacy, transparent and revealing. I didn't want tomboy clothes, I just wanted something that is cute, youthful, doesn't look cheap and most importantly doesn't make me worry about my bra choice.
Practical, comfy and attractive. I don't know why clothing companies find that so difficult.
Load More Replies...I'm grown woman with an average size, in proportion body. I can't buy functional sleeveless tanks. If I buy them long enough, half my bra is out. If I buy them so they stay put up top, my tummy isn't covered. I wear them backwards so that the higher neckline is in the front, now they've started printing see through tags on the clothes.
Back in the day (15 years ago) all you could get for young teens girls were sweatpants with slutty words on the a**e of them, Midriff tops, high cut shorts and camel toe jeans. I had to buy my daughter stuff from thrift shops because it was outdated and not slutty. I can't even tell you how Karen I went on alot of manufacturers over this issue. Now my grandaughter has the same issue, 12 years old.
I mean, whoopee that a dude noticed something moms have been saying for 30 years??
the comment about sweden (the 5th from the top) makes me happy, and more reason to want to move there
I lived in Sweden a long time. My child was born in Sweden, The kids clothes are not as gender neutral as they may think. Bright pink and purple for girls clothes is the norm... The kids clothes on websites are sometimes not separated by department... big deal?
Load More Replies...He's absolutely right, but honestly this stuff has only exploded in the last 20 years. Before that, little girl clothes were more like little boy clothes, in terms of quality, shape, size... the only differences were usually in color selection and, of course, the addition of skirts/dresses. Girl clothes when I was a kid were cute/pretty instead of sleazy. The everyday girls' clothing was comfortable and practical, just like the boys'. These days, my teenage daughter wears either her father's hand-me-down jeans in classic tomboy style, or (for church & other more dressy occasions) traditional long, flowy skirts/dresses. We tend to choose stuff in a '40s or '50s style, which is both elegant and modest.
When I was a teenager, I was incredibly tiny. I bought boys jeans, and shirts. Not only were they more comfortable, they were way cheaper!
Unfortunately once you develop hips, you can't buy in the men's department anymore.
Load More Replies...I buy girl clothes for my son sometimes. Honestly, why can't I? And I don't mean ruffled dresses or skirts. I mean - pastel colored pants and jackets, cute t-shirts from a thin, breathy fabric acceptable for +30 weather... Why do all boys clothes have to be in horrible black, blue, red, gray colors? Of flashy yellows and oranges that make me gag? Why can't there be cute boy clothes in prune, mint green, coral pink, taupe? Why do I have to go to the girl's section to find acceptable colors in childware, and then, run through them to eleminate everyone that read's "Dad's Baby Girl" and "Barbie Girl" to find that single light pink breezy t-shirt with a pineapple on it that says "Yay!'? Like seriously... please, stop producing trash for kids. They deserve to look good.
Bro I got catcalled more when I was 8 then when I was 12, and even less when I was 14 and so on- it just doesn't stop does it?
They make g-string for 8 years old gril. I saw it in Wallmark. What in hell people think it’s a great idea? Why?
Hello, woman in mid 30 here. I'm buying men's shorts because I need pockets (phone, keys, dog treats etc.) and I want to feel comfy when working in the garden. No need to show my ass every time I bend or burn my legs when I want to sit down on hot wooden bank. I also buy men's t-shirts as pyjama tops as want to be able to stuck them down my pants and keep my back warm all night.
I can't understand/believe when this all started. My kids ( 1 boy 1 girl) are just into their 50s now and I swear I never ever saw anything remotely like that. How long has this been going on??
Used to buy boy shirts and pants for my oldest 35+ years ago! She needed clothes she could play in and not worry about. She wanted girl shirts but I couldn't find them at the time in sturdy shirts. Though I used to mostly sew the kids shorts and shirts when they were little, lol.
When it was hot our daughter and son wore onesies. Winter time I loved overalls. Easy on easy off. Toy departments actually annoyed me more than the clothing. The totally pink aisle? No.
Blame it on the manufactures or designers of these clothes. It's not just some random person writing "Dad says no dating boys" on these clothes. It's the company that makes them. Or the store company that buys them from the vendor. They need to know not to buy these kind of clothes to sell to their customers if its that bad. Some might think it's cute and that people are overreacting to something as insignificant as this. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't. Cuz ya know you are going to have your detractors who are going to say "oh now you are cancelling cute phrases such as this on baby clothes?!" I'm lucky I don't have kids but I can see this dad's plight about why baby girl clothes are different from baby boy clothes. Who are these babies trying to impress?! Lol!!
This Dad is great! Also want to mention the sizes of girl pants, specifically Waist sizes. Totally unrealistic! My only female garment is my bathing suit. I am definitely a cross dresser. But for 2 reasons I have to wear a female bathing suit. Hated pink from the day I was born. At least in clothes. ((pink in nature is ok!)
Good. Now try doing the same thing with baby boys, then I will respect. Dress a baby boy in pink and glitter if you want. Dress a baby boy in flowers and ruffles if you want. Why is it that those things belong to girls in the first place?!!
Yknow how there's this boycotting trend going on? Makes me want to do a mass boycott of women's clothing...
I like dinosaurs. I'd like to buy clothes with dinosaurs for the babies among my friends and family. But the kids are girls and the clothes don't JUST have dinosaurs. They HAVE to add something like the text "boy" or male symbol. I wouldn't care if it's a "boy colour" or "boy style" or whatever but the clothes still can't be used by girls because they say "boy" on them. It's just stupid.
systemic sexism- it's more pervasive than we realize...until we realize. Then we try to do something about it like teaching our sons that girls and women are 100% equal to boys/men. #startemearly #feministSon
Y'all seen fashion novas childrens line?? Pedo bait. Pure and simple. Google it.
He makes some valid points but I've also seen many tops for little boys saying things like 'heartbreaker' and 'lock up your daughters'. I'm not discounting what he says, just highlighting that it also exists for boys. As for his point about glitter and pink, the reverse is true for boys. They seem to only get muted/dark colours. No rainbows, yellows, pinks, reds, just construction images and dinosaurs!
I have a 3yr old daughter, and I buy her boys clothes. She three! She doesn't need crop tops, short shorts, v-necks, see thru tights, t-shirts that say, 'cherry popping', 'almost legit' etc. No way she gonna wear that crap
I understand some of his arguments like the bathing suit and the tight pants. But for the decorations on clothing it's easy to understand that you have some crazy mothers that want their baby to be bling bling. The right tactic I think is just to sponsor good practices.
Kids clothes are kids clothes. For all kids. Kids leggings are comfortable and very good for running in the grass or in bushes once they are close to the legs and are harder to get caught in the trees torns and such. They are very practical and boys are using it a lot, which is awesome. The necklines tho, real deal. I find very odd how I can't get my kid pink shirt with a neckline that's not too deep. The size is a problem too, for pastel colours shirts, pink, light blue, lavander, they are always smaller then bright blue, green or black. When I'm buying kids clothes I usually go for the most colourful and the most comfortable, independently if it is girly or boyly.
when i'm looking for grogu themed clothes, its NEVER in the girls clothing. its ALWAYS in the boy clothing. its soooo annoying! i guess girls can't watch movies with boys in it or with violence.
When my son was two I would buy girls’ leggings for him. The boy pants were loose and would slide off his little rear end, or be too short or too long, but the girl leggings would cover his legs and stay put because they were form-fitting. He could move more easily in them. This is the only time I’ve ever favored girl pants over boy pants (hello pockets!).
Yes! To all of this! I have 2 toddlers and now that I'm reusing the clothes for my second, no matter how hard I tried to stay away from pink and glitter SO MUCH OF THEIR CLOTHES IS PINK!! Granted, the older one loves sparkles now but I tried very hard to avoid the girly crap for the first 2 years of her life. But the only decently priced stores I have in my area are H&M and Uniqlo, so not a wide selection and EXTREMELY gendered. I'm not paying $50/outfit for kids!
And then, little girls are learning sexualized dance moves in cheerleading and dancing - at least from the media. Women's makeup ads are so sexualized too - especially lipstick ads. There is a severe disconnect in society, where women are being brainwashed that holding sexy clothes and looks and moves over men is somehow power, and at the same time telling men "Don't look or touch." It's a weird, unhealthy thing.
Even the arms on toddler girls clothes are shorter, so weird. Toys are not much better, I once saw a baby rattle/teething toy in the shape of a gold diamond ring with princess crowns hanging from it- Ridiculous. Kids should be raised to be kind, honest critical thinkers, not girly princesses.
Clothes for small children with phrases that imply dating them are just creepy!
What this guy says is true. BUT who are the majority of people buying clothes for babies? WOMEN. Even if the clothes were designed only by men, women are still buying them. Most women think this is cute. It's not if you really think about it. Ladies, let's help ourselves.
BTW, I legit have bought men's jeans and sweatpants. Sometimes I just want something comfortable to work in, but women's jeans and sweats tend to be too focused on showing off my figure when that is not what I want. After a while, I don't even rate time looking through weekends clothing when I need something to work or lounge in; I head straight for the men's section.
I legit have bought men's jeans and sweatpants. Sometimes I just want something comfortable to work in, but women's jeans and sweats tend to be too focused on showing off my figure when that is not what I want. After a while, I don't even rate time looking through weekends clothing when I need something to work or lounge in; I head straight for the men's section.
Honestly, the stuff he lists are nasty. Like, come on, you can't just allow babies to wear 2 pieces! Truly, out of full honesty, there needs to be some distinguished line. Most of the things he lists are really ridiculous, but there has to be a line.
There’s the same onesie saying “sorry girls mommy says no dating” presumably for baby boys.
What that poster said about Swedish clothes needs to be universal. Clothes should be made for everyone. We have reached a day in age where some are transgendered, some are gender fluid, and some just like to be ambiguous with their clothing.
Walmart has eliminated boys and girls clothes departments too, but it hasn't worked out the way I think jetmachine thought it might: Now, you can buy hypersexualized, girls' clothes for boys, too.
Not mine, there is a boy department and a girl department once they get past 4T
Load More Replies...I remember neutral clothing being more common years ago in the era of large families, before you could know the sex of your baby before it was born. If you thought you might be having 3 or 4 more kids, you bought stuff that could be handed down to the next one, whichever sex it turned out to be.
I haven’t gone swimming in two years since I can’t find a single bathing suit that is not unicorn or mermaid themed.
Also, why are most baby clothes I see for girls pink? Can't they be any color? It's not like the baby can even really decide whether or not they like pink
i used to tease my mom that i was glad that since i could only have one child that it was a boy. why? because had i been the mom of a girl she would have been ostrasized by her peers for not conforming to the girly things that would be expected of her...just like i did. it made my life hard then and sometimes now. some things are better now but since i am an old fart my supposed daughter would have grown up at the time of when such appearances and behavior would have been called out. i was shunned/bullied for being different and - sorry, mom - even my family for trying to be comfy in my own space.
How can the kid decide when she is a baby :/
Load More Replies...Sexual assault and abuse of girls and young teenagers is not a first world problem. 1 in 3 girls experience sexual assult and/or abuse before they are 15. Oversexualised clothing is both a symptom and a cause of the culture in which young girls learn thier value lies in sex.
Load More Replies...Oh, my daughter wants to dress like a girl. The little innocent girl that she is. Not the oversexualised 7 going on 17 year old clothing manufacturers would like her to be. I mean, since when does a seven year old need a shirt that says "I'm sexy and I know it"? Or when does she need spandex tights that have frilly bits on her bum designed to jiggle and attract attention when she runs? This isn't about being 'woke'. This is about wanting to let our little girls actually BE little girls.
Load More Replies...It is true that nobody should be looking at them that way regardless of what clothes they're wearing. But that doesn't mean it's okay to dress children inappropriately.
Load More Replies...That’s the problem. It’s hard to find any alternatives to buy and when you are a working parent you often don’t have the time to look all over just for some shorts for your daughter.
Load More Replies...About how her dad has control over who accesses her vagina. It isn't funny at any age, but the fact that the minute she was born already the jokes are about getting access to her genitals is very telling.
Load More Replies...Necklines as well. I found that very frustrating, that they are so much lower in girls' clothes, for no reason and even in winter. Toddler clothes for girls are designed to reveal more skin than toddler clothes for boys. It isn't healthy for society. I also remember when it was the fashion to have the Playboy bunny symbol on stuff for girls, including for newborns. "I might be tiny now, but just look at me and project your idea of how sexually attractive and available I'll be if you wait". BTW, it isn't sexualisation - that's what we do to boys, teach them everything is about getting their rocks off - it's objectification. We teach girls they are sexy objects for the boys to make use of. I have taught my kids to shop for clothes from 'both sides of the shop' because it's all nonsense anyway. Girls need tough clothing for rough play, and boys like cute animals on their clothes, or pink and purple. Neither of them turn a hair, and they're now nearly 18 and 12.
It all depends on consumers, and sadly, consumers are easily manipulated by businesses, by politicians, and whom ever. All those "must have" advertisements are just justification for higher pricing, and they, in fact, are "don't need at all".
Load More Replies...I always wondered why my mom bought me boy pants when I was a kid, now I understand I guess. I still prefer man pants until now, much more comfortable AND the pockets are actually big and useful! F**k fake pockets.
Yes! Forget 'boyfriend' jeans. I just buy guys jeans. And sweatshirts. They're actually warm. Who wants thin and skin tight in Minnesota winter?
Load More Replies...I've always hated seeing two piece swimsuits for 3yo girls. Luckily it's still a rarity here. Just panties for both sexes usually
Two piece is good if it's the rash guard/swim pant combo that's gaining in popularity. It provides sun protection while being comfortable and not gendered.
Load More Replies...Clothes for girls/women are made for fashion or a statement, not for comfort or function. Look at women's jackets for example. It is so hard to find a nice, decent one. They are made so thin or short etc that it won't protect you from the elements. Let's not forget the pants with no pockets, the sexist slogans, shorts and skirts getting shorter and shorter etc. It's ridiculous, and what is worse is that girls and women's clothes are generally more expensive too and for less material.
The comment about kids dating is one I have always felt. She said she thinks it’s weird when people talk about children dating and when she brings it up nobody agrees with her. But I agree! Encouraging a child (usually a toddler) to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and give hugs and kisses just screams creepy pedo to me, and yet it’s super common. I had a friend that would encourage her toddler to “get it” when she danced by shaking her butt to raunchy music. Like, everything isn’t meant for kids. Sassy / teasing clothes, certain music, dating, etc isn’t for kids. That’s fùcking creepy and disgusting.
Mara Wilson, the little girl in Mrs Doubtfire, recently wrote an article about how young girls are sexualized in media in an op-ed in the New York Times. It was in response to the documentary "framing Brittany", but it really touched on this issue. Mara talks about being asked about dating at 6 yrs old, and being photo shopped into porn at 12. Excellent article. made me think, if this is how we treat our child female stars, before they are any where near adults, no wonder there is a Me Too movement. i would love to hear the male side of her editorial
Load More Replies...When I was seven, my mother passed away and my father didn't understand girl's sizes, so he pretty much just bought boy clothes for me, which I was actually very fine with except for the boy's dress shoes he insisted I wear to school. I was wearing brown corduroy pants, generic t-shirts, a two-toned brown puff coat, and boy's dress shoes. I got picked on for those shoes. I was happy to wear sneakers to school again. Nobody seemed to care about the rest of my clothes not being girly. Also, I was in a check out lane behind a woman in a Hobby Lobby and she had a whole phrase on her butt. I tried to read what it said, but she got very angry that I was looking at her butt. If you don't want people looking at your butt, don't put stuff to read there.
Lmao I always read the words on people's butts and chest and then get awkward
Load More Replies...Ironically, 100+ years ago both boys and girls were put in dresses up until about 3 or 4, because it was easier to change a diaper if there were no pants involved. It's strange to see a photo of some male historical figure as a toddler and see what appears to be a little girl.
Yup this is so true. I put my baby girl into her older brothers baby clothes that we still had. It's really gross how babies are being forced into tight clothes right at the start. I wanted to puke in my mouth when I saws a sexualized girls halloween costume for 5 year olds at walmart. This world disgusts me daily.
100% agree. I have such hard time buying clothes for my niece ever since she was born. Everything is pink, glittery and so so uncomfortable and two sizes short.. we always dress her in boys clothes.
I once saw a shirt in the toddler boy's section that said, "sorry, girls, I only date models." Gross.
Very sadly, this father and those expressing agreement are in a minority. The reason these 'girl' clothes are like this is because the majority will buy them. They actively seek to promote the sexuality of their daughters, even if subconsciously. The direction of our 'civilised' society is loathsome and deeply disturbing.
It's also a vicious circle: people want to buy in their child's "department" (or just don't think to buy in the boys' section) so all you can buy for your girl is pink, glittery, sexualized, tight, etc. Which means it looks like it's selling and what people want so more of it is made. And the circle starts again.
Load More Replies...My daughter hates showing skin. She hates standard bathing suits. I have very pale skin and my bathing suit is a rash guard top and board shorts, which gets me odd looks at the beach. After months of searching for something both cute and covering, we finally found a swim dress for her that included lycra leggings. I don't think these kinds of things should be so difficult to find. Not everybody wants to flaunt their body. When I was a kid, if you wanted to cover up, you wore a t-shirt over your bathing suit, but a wet t-shirt isn't comfortable and ends up showing everything when wet anyway. I don't mind girls and women who enjoy less coverage, but there should be more options available.
All parents should let their children choose what kind of clothes they want to wear. If a kid wants to wear ruffles and skirts let them, if they want to wear "boy shorts" and dino T-shirts, let them!
And in the years before the they are old enough to choose? My newborn was given a onesie that impled she was going to be pole dancer when she grew up - a "joke" from "Uncle John" (who is no longer welcome at our house for a whole range of similar behaviours). That kind of thing should not even exist for children. Thats the point. Why does oversexualised clothing for children even exist? If clothing for girls was more appropriate I wouldn't have to police it.
Load More Replies...I remember a kid in my 6th grade class accidentally came in wearing a V-Neck and got laughed at for wearing a women’s tee. At first I didn’t know that was a thing, then it hit me.
And even girls pants, WHY DO THEY NOT HAVE REAL POCKETS IN THE FRONT!!!
Load More Replies...I have been saying this for years! I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a girl under the age of 10 wearing hoochy clothing. The running joke between my husband and me is that if they're going to make their parents money on the corner, you gotta start 'em off young with their clothes. Yes, it's that bad! I don't know what parents are thinking. And don't tell me, 'But that's what she likes to wear.' She's a child. They like to do lots of things that parents should not be allowing. Besides, that is what parenting means. To look at today's parents, you'd think that children are born and take care of themselves with no intervention because their parent surely let them run the show. And I also HATE it when adults jokingly ask a child, as young as four that I've witnessed, if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Good grief! Why can't we just let kids be kids? They have plenty of time to driven crazy by dating, but adults seem bent on getting them there faster. So twisted!
I also find the ridiculously over-gendered boy clothes irritating. Why does this kid need a camo onesie? Who is he hiding from? Why do all little boy shirts seem to have no color outside of green, black or various neutrals? Why do they all need a superhero with a macho phrase or truck or something? All kids clothes should be a variety of brights and neutrals and simple comfy clothing.
It's like girl clothes always say stuff like "Glitter + rainbows = Me" And the boys shirts are like "S**t your Pants" and "Kill your sister"
This. Definitely. I've only had godsons, but buying for my nieces? Forget it. I just bought them boy clothes. Only one person objected, and she wasn't the parent. I mean, really, what 3-month-old needs a pink glitter top saying HOT STUFF....??!?!?!?! I didn't need one at 20!
I only ever bought gender neutral clothes for my baby. They are common in my country.
Perhaps things are easier where I live (Belgium) because I can find unisex clothes for babies at the simplest of stores. But I do agree that many clothes for girls, from size newborn on, are super girly, tight, inappropriate texts or images for the little ones (tiger stripes / panther print for babies anyone???) ... But also: baby boy clothes can be super boyish. No baby boy needs 'tough guy' clothes either. Personally, I just don't buy the things I find too girly, but it's not hard either to just navigate around them. I shop at both boy&girl departments for my girls (10, 7 and 4 months) and they're perfectly cool with that too.
As a grown up female, I still wonder why all the clothes I have to choose from are 1, sausage case leggings, 2, ruffled, 3, hyper pink, and 4, glittery. Or flowery, or the most uncomfortable freaking material I’ve ever touched.... I hated that crap as a kid, I still hate that crap. I bought nothing but guy’s clothing from age 12-24, when I got too curvy for their pants to be comfortable. Buying anything now is a nightmare.
if you can't find good shorts, girls, shop in the boys' section for shorts. they're much longer and comfier. also most of the time boys' shirts & jeans/pants are better... know what just shop the boys section whenever for whatever
I actually look into the girl side of Walmart for my son because my baby likes bright colours and the Trolls franchise. Plus girls have more Holiday stuff than boys. Why can't clothes be the same for both? Give boys ruffles! Give girls pockets!
I have nothing to do with babies, but I faced this issue as well when shopping for new spring/summer clothes as a teenager. Everything seemed flowery, brightly coloured, glittery, lacy, transparent and revealing. I didn't want tomboy clothes, I just wanted something that is cute, youthful, doesn't look cheap and most importantly doesn't make me worry about my bra choice.
Practical, comfy and attractive. I don't know why clothing companies find that so difficult.
Load More Replies...I'm grown woman with an average size, in proportion body. I can't buy functional sleeveless tanks. If I buy them long enough, half my bra is out. If I buy them so they stay put up top, my tummy isn't covered. I wear them backwards so that the higher neckline is in the front, now they've started printing see through tags on the clothes.
Back in the day (15 years ago) all you could get for young teens girls were sweatpants with slutty words on the a**e of them, Midriff tops, high cut shorts and camel toe jeans. I had to buy my daughter stuff from thrift shops because it was outdated and not slutty. I can't even tell you how Karen I went on alot of manufacturers over this issue. Now my grandaughter has the same issue, 12 years old.
I mean, whoopee that a dude noticed something moms have been saying for 30 years??
the comment about sweden (the 5th from the top) makes me happy, and more reason to want to move there
I lived in Sweden a long time. My child was born in Sweden, The kids clothes are not as gender neutral as they may think. Bright pink and purple for girls clothes is the norm... The kids clothes on websites are sometimes not separated by department... big deal?
Load More Replies...He's absolutely right, but honestly this stuff has only exploded in the last 20 years. Before that, little girl clothes were more like little boy clothes, in terms of quality, shape, size... the only differences were usually in color selection and, of course, the addition of skirts/dresses. Girl clothes when I was a kid were cute/pretty instead of sleazy. The everyday girls' clothing was comfortable and practical, just like the boys'. These days, my teenage daughter wears either her father's hand-me-down jeans in classic tomboy style, or (for church & other more dressy occasions) traditional long, flowy skirts/dresses. We tend to choose stuff in a '40s or '50s style, which is both elegant and modest.
When I was a teenager, I was incredibly tiny. I bought boys jeans, and shirts. Not only were they more comfortable, they were way cheaper!
Unfortunately once you develop hips, you can't buy in the men's department anymore.
Load More Replies...I buy girl clothes for my son sometimes. Honestly, why can't I? And I don't mean ruffled dresses or skirts. I mean - pastel colored pants and jackets, cute t-shirts from a thin, breathy fabric acceptable for +30 weather... Why do all boys clothes have to be in horrible black, blue, red, gray colors? Of flashy yellows and oranges that make me gag? Why can't there be cute boy clothes in prune, mint green, coral pink, taupe? Why do I have to go to the girl's section to find acceptable colors in childware, and then, run through them to eleminate everyone that read's "Dad's Baby Girl" and "Barbie Girl" to find that single light pink breezy t-shirt with a pineapple on it that says "Yay!'? Like seriously... please, stop producing trash for kids. They deserve to look good.
Bro I got catcalled more when I was 8 then when I was 12, and even less when I was 14 and so on- it just doesn't stop does it?
They make g-string for 8 years old gril. I saw it in Wallmark. What in hell people think it’s a great idea? Why?
Hello, woman in mid 30 here. I'm buying men's shorts because I need pockets (phone, keys, dog treats etc.) and I want to feel comfy when working in the garden. No need to show my ass every time I bend or burn my legs when I want to sit down on hot wooden bank. I also buy men's t-shirts as pyjama tops as want to be able to stuck them down my pants and keep my back warm all night.
I can't understand/believe when this all started. My kids ( 1 boy 1 girl) are just into their 50s now and I swear I never ever saw anything remotely like that. How long has this been going on??
Used to buy boy shirts and pants for my oldest 35+ years ago! She needed clothes she could play in and not worry about. She wanted girl shirts but I couldn't find them at the time in sturdy shirts. Though I used to mostly sew the kids shorts and shirts when they were little, lol.
When it was hot our daughter and son wore onesies. Winter time I loved overalls. Easy on easy off. Toy departments actually annoyed me more than the clothing. The totally pink aisle? No.
Blame it on the manufactures or designers of these clothes. It's not just some random person writing "Dad says no dating boys" on these clothes. It's the company that makes them. Or the store company that buys them from the vendor. They need to know not to buy these kind of clothes to sell to their customers if its that bad. Some might think it's cute and that people are overreacting to something as insignificant as this. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't. Cuz ya know you are going to have your detractors who are going to say "oh now you are cancelling cute phrases such as this on baby clothes?!" I'm lucky I don't have kids but I can see this dad's plight about why baby girl clothes are different from baby boy clothes. Who are these babies trying to impress?! Lol!!
This Dad is great! Also want to mention the sizes of girl pants, specifically Waist sizes. Totally unrealistic! My only female garment is my bathing suit. I am definitely a cross dresser. But for 2 reasons I have to wear a female bathing suit. Hated pink from the day I was born. At least in clothes. ((pink in nature is ok!)
Good. Now try doing the same thing with baby boys, then I will respect. Dress a baby boy in pink and glitter if you want. Dress a baby boy in flowers and ruffles if you want. Why is it that those things belong to girls in the first place?!!
Yknow how there's this boycotting trend going on? Makes me want to do a mass boycott of women's clothing...
I like dinosaurs. I'd like to buy clothes with dinosaurs for the babies among my friends and family. But the kids are girls and the clothes don't JUST have dinosaurs. They HAVE to add something like the text "boy" or male symbol. I wouldn't care if it's a "boy colour" or "boy style" or whatever but the clothes still can't be used by girls because they say "boy" on them. It's just stupid.
systemic sexism- it's more pervasive than we realize...until we realize. Then we try to do something about it like teaching our sons that girls and women are 100% equal to boys/men. #startemearly #feministSon
Y'all seen fashion novas childrens line?? Pedo bait. Pure and simple. Google it.
He makes some valid points but I've also seen many tops for little boys saying things like 'heartbreaker' and 'lock up your daughters'. I'm not discounting what he says, just highlighting that it also exists for boys. As for his point about glitter and pink, the reverse is true for boys. They seem to only get muted/dark colours. No rainbows, yellows, pinks, reds, just construction images and dinosaurs!
I have a 3yr old daughter, and I buy her boys clothes. She three! She doesn't need crop tops, short shorts, v-necks, see thru tights, t-shirts that say, 'cherry popping', 'almost legit' etc. No way she gonna wear that crap
I understand some of his arguments like the bathing suit and the tight pants. But for the decorations on clothing it's easy to understand that you have some crazy mothers that want their baby to be bling bling. The right tactic I think is just to sponsor good practices.
Kids clothes are kids clothes. For all kids. Kids leggings are comfortable and very good for running in the grass or in bushes once they are close to the legs and are harder to get caught in the trees torns and such. They are very practical and boys are using it a lot, which is awesome. The necklines tho, real deal. I find very odd how I can't get my kid pink shirt with a neckline that's not too deep. The size is a problem too, for pastel colours shirts, pink, light blue, lavander, they are always smaller then bright blue, green or black. When I'm buying kids clothes I usually go for the most colourful and the most comfortable, independently if it is girly or boyly.
when i'm looking for grogu themed clothes, its NEVER in the girls clothing. its ALWAYS in the boy clothing. its soooo annoying! i guess girls can't watch movies with boys in it or with violence.
When my son was two I would buy girls’ leggings for him. The boy pants were loose and would slide off his little rear end, or be too short or too long, but the girl leggings would cover his legs and stay put because they were form-fitting. He could move more easily in them. This is the only time I’ve ever favored girl pants over boy pants (hello pockets!).
Yes! To all of this! I have 2 toddlers and now that I'm reusing the clothes for my second, no matter how hard I tried to stay away from pink and glitter SO MUCH OF THEIR CLOTHES IS PINK!! Granted, the older one loves sparkles now but I tried very hard to avoid the girly crap for the first 2 years of her life. But the only decently priced stores I have in my area are H&M and Uniqlo, so not a wide selection and EXTREMELY gendered. I'm not paying $50/outfit for kids!
And then, little girls are learning sexualized dance moves in cheerleading and dancing - at least from the media. Women's makeup ads are so sexualized too - especially lipstick ads. There is a severe disconnect in society, where women are being brainwashed that holding sexy clothes and looks and moves over men is somehow power, and at the same time telling men "Don't look or touch." It's a weird, unhealthy thing.
Even the arms on toddler girls clothes are shorter, so weird. Toys are not much better, I once saw a baby rattle/teething toy in the shape of a gold diamond ring with princess crowns hanging from it- Ridiculous. Kids should be raised to be kind, honest critical thinkers, not girly princesses.
Clothes for small children with phrases that imply dating them are just creepy!
What this guy says is true. BUT who are the majority of people buying clothes for babies? WOMEN. Even if the clothes were designed only by men, women are still buying them. Most women think this is cute. It's not if you really think about it. Ladies, let's help ourselves.
BTW, I legit have bought men's jeans and sweatpants. Sometimes I just want something comfortable to work in, but women's jeans and sweats tend to be too focused on showing off my figure when that is not what I want. After a while, I don't even rate time looking through weekends clothing when I need something to work or lounge in; I head straight for the men's section.
I legit have bought men's jeans and sweatpants. Sometimes I just want something comfortable to work in, but women's jeans and sweats tend to be too focused on showing off my figure when that is not what I want. After a while, I don't even rate time looking through weekends clothing when I need something to work or lounge in; I head straight for the men's section.
Honestly, the stuff he lists are nasty. Like, come on, you can't just allow babies to wear 2 pieces! Truly, out of full honesty, there needs to be some distinguished line. Most of the things he lists are really ridiculous, but there has to be a line.
There’s the same onesie saying “sorry girls mommy says no dating” presumably for baby boys.
What that poster said about Swedish clothes needs to be universal. Clothes should be made for everyone. We have reached a day in age where some are transgendered, some are gender fluid, and some just like to be ambiguous with their clothing.
Walmart has eliminated boys and girls clothes departments too, but it hasn't worked out the way I think jetmachine thought it might: Now, you can buy hypersexualized, girls' clothes for boys, too.
Not mine, there is a boy department and a girl department once they get past 4T
Load More Replies...I remember neutral clothing being more common years ago in the era of large families, before you could know the sex of your baby before it was born. If you thought you might be having 3 or 4 more kids, you bought stuff that could be handed down to the next one, whichever sex it turned out to be.
I haven’t gone swimming in two years since I can’t find a single bathing suit that is not unicorn or mermaid themed.
Also, why are most baby clothes I see for girls pink? Can't they be any color? It's not like the baby can even really decide whether or not they like pink
i used to tease my mom that i was glad that since i could only have one child that it was a boy. why? because had i been the mom of a girl she would have been ostrasized by her peers for not conforming to the girly things that would be expected of her...just like i did. it made my life hard then and sometimes now. some things are better now but since i am an old fart my supposed daughter would have grown up at the time of when such appearances and behavior would have been called out. i was shunned/bullied for being different and - sorry, mom - even my family for trying to be comfy in my own space.
How can the kid decide when she is a baby :/
Load More Replies...Sexual assault and abuse of girls and young teenagers is not a first world problem. 1 in 3 girls experience sexual assult and/or abuse before they are 15. Oversexualised clothing is both a symptom and a cause of the culture in which young girls learn thier value lies in sex.
Load More Replies...Oh, my daughter wants to dress like a girl. The little innocent girl that she is. Not the oversexualised 7 going on 17 year old clothing manufacturers would like her to be. I mean, since when does a seven year old need a shirt that says "I'm sexy and I know it"? Or when does she need spandex tights that have frilly bits on her bum designed to jiggle and attract attention when she runs? This isn't about being 'woke'. This is about wanting to let our little girls actually BE little girls.
Load More Replies...It is true that nobody should be looking at them that way regardless of what clothes they're wearing. But that doesn't mean it's okay to dress children inappropriately.
Load More Replies...That’s the problem. It’s hard to find any alternatives to buy and when you are a working parent you often don’t have the time to look all over just for some shorts for your daughter.
Load More Replies...About how her dad has control over who accesses her vagina. It isn't funny at any age, but the fact that the minute she was born already the jokes are about getting access to her genitals is very telling.
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