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Siblings Say It’s Unfair Their Sis Invites Herself To Xmas And Exhausts Everyone, Sparks Debate
Siblings Say It’s Unfair Their Sis Invites Herself To Xmas And Exhausts Everyone, Sparks Debate

Siblings Say It’s Unfair Their Sis Invites Herself To Xmas And Exhausts Everyone, Sparks Debate

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Christmas is the time of the year when families gather to celebrate and spend time together. At the same time, all families have members that attend these gatherings despite not being wanted there for various reasons.

In this story, the unwanted family member ended up being this woman whose sister vented online about not wanting her over during Christmas. Then, when netizens asked the OP to name what was actually so bad about her sibling, she started rambling about a difficult personality, but it didn’t convince all online folks, which turned the post’s theme from a Christmas party to a rivalry between sisters.

More info: Mumsnet

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    Despite Christmas being a family celebration, sometimes not all family members are wanted there

    Old parents and children gather around a Christmas dinner table with festive decorations and a variety of holiday dishes.

    Image credits: Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    A woman came online to complain about how her sister coming to Christmas with her two kids is going to be too much for their parents in their mid 70s

    Text discussing expectations of old parents hosting Christmas with young children.

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    Text discussing hosting Christmas for old parents, highlighting generational traditions.

    Text discussing old parents enjoying Christmas with children, noting their slower pace and enjoyment without responsibility.

    Text about old parents and children during Christmas, highlighting a single parent's story.

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    Elderly woman serving Christmas dinner to family, including children, in a warmly lit kitchen.

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    She implies that it would be better if her sister didn’t come, as she has other social circles she could spend Christmas with

    Text about holiday visits highlighting the challenges faced by old parents during Christmas with their children.

    Text discussing fairness of a sister inviting herself for Christmas, with parents siding due to her singleness.

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    Text discussing challenges of hosting parents and siblings during Christmas holidays.

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    Family gathered around a festive table with sparklers, celebrating Christmas.

    Image credits: Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Netizens noticed how unwelcoming to her sister the woman is and called her out on it

    Text discussing family decisions and dynamics affecting old parents and children during Christmas.

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    Text discussing family dynamics and challenges with Christmas arrangements for old parents and children.

    Text discussing if mid-70s is too old for parents to host Christmas with young children.

    Image credits: Birminghamx

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    This made the woman start defending herself, explaining how difficult her sister was ever since her teen years and into adulthood

    The OP is one of three siblings. A few years ago, she and her elder brother hosted Christmas for their family. Basically, they took the hosting wheel over from their parents, who had been doing it for decades, even though their health is decently good. 

    Last year, as the author put it, her sister also “invited herself” to these parties for a 5-day stay. During it, her kids, one 5 months old and the other 2 years old, were fussy and tired everyone out. For instance, the OP’s mom’s friends reported the woman cancelled her engagements for a couple of days after the stay with the family. 

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    The reasons why kids are fussy can be numerous, from lack of sleep, hunger to frustration. The OP didn’t specify any of them, just wrote that they were fractious without any more context.

    Now, this year, the sister told her family she wants to come again, but her siblings think it’s unfair, as she would not only cause a commotion, but would occupy a space too. Sounds a bit harsh, doesn’t it? Well, the thing is that neither the OP’s, nor her brother’s places are big enough to host all the family members. 

    The parents aren’t against their daughter coming to a family party at their place. The woman is a single mom and accepting her is a nice and even helpful thing to do.

    Plus, her place is way too small to host a party at all. Yet, don’t think she’s living poorly – the reason for her place’s size is because she lives in an expensive part of London. For a better understanding of the prices, currently the average annual rent in this city costs £26,316. Not cheap, is it? 

    So, while the parents are okay with hosting a party with their daughter and her kids attending, their other kids aren’t okay with it. They want to convince them to change their decision, as in their opinion, this situation is too demanding of them. 

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    Older parent relaxing on a couch in a cozy room with plants in the background.

    Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When netizens brought up that it seems like the OP and her brother are campaigning against their sister for no reason, the author provided some more context. 

    She went on and on about how her sister is a difficult person to deal with, who sometimes throws tantrums, gets in fights with basically everyone in her life, and so on.

    At some point, the author and her mother have even researched autism and personality disorders hoping to get some “explanation” for the woman’s actions. While their intentions of researching what could be troubling her might be well-intended, taking it upon themselves to “diagnose” her isn’t.

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    After all, they aren’t mental health professionals who can diagnose anyone; they’re simply people who Googled symptoms and tried applying them to a person they know. Therefore, it’s possible that while they deemed some symptoms applicable to their family member, an expert would have a different opinion. 

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    In addition to all that, some netizens pointed out that maybe the story from the OP’s sister’s point of view might sound different. For instance, the author describes her sister as having a happy childhood, but maybe her difficulties in keeping up relationships with other people would signify something else. 

    In the end, the post that started with a woman asking if it would be unreasonable to convince her parents to uninvite her sister from Christmas turned into a reality check from netizens against the author’s bias.

    And while the original poster tried defending her position in the comments, at the end of the day, it still looks like there might be some underlying issues going on in that family. Not to sound too naive, but maybe the online folks’ reaction will be something that forces them to figure it out. Or bury it even deeper.

    Still, even these explanations didn’t convince all netizens and left some with the impression that the woman has some kind of vendetta against her sister

    Text exchange about visiting arrangements for parents during Christmas, discussing staying at homes or hotels.

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    Text message discussing how children visiting older parents at Christmas should let them handle potential family conflicts.

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    Text discussing old parents spending Christmas with children and grandchildren.

    Text discussing how to address holiday planning with parents and siblings, including meal preparations.

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    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

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    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    What do you think ?
    Ellen Townsend
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP writes that sister "invites herself" like it's an unnatural idea for the family to be getting together. Kinda bossy and busy-body.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She seems cruel and self serving. She seems ok with her sister being left out and by extension 2 grand kids and that turns my stomach.

    Load More Replies...
    Mike F
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have an idea, how about letting the old folks make the decision since they are the people who will be dealing with the kids? Little kids can be a nightmare to deal with, especially if they aren't regularly around the aunts/uncles/grandparents, but grandparents typically always have room for a fussy kid. My maternal GM had over 40 grandchildren and she was excited every time some came to visit. And, she remembered ALL of their names, even the 10 that lived here in Michigan.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a juggling act BUT it needs to be said, there are only so many Christmases left in the parents that they can enjoy all their grand kids. My own parents took a sudden down turn when mum was 78 and dad 82. Dad only lasted 2 more years. Because of coved, there was no more family Christmas as it was too much for them. Be very careful of robbing what years of joy are left for them to experience, even if it means they have 3 days of naps to recover after the events.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% agree Libstak. This is my first Christmas without my wonderful Dad, my 84 year old Mum beat breast cancer this year... she would be mortified if she didn't get to see one of her kids, let alone grandchild. Also, OP and brother could offer to help parents cook, etc. They could arrange an afternoon with sister and the kids. There are many ways around this without excluding family

    Load More Replies...
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    Ellen Townsend
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP writes that sister "invites herself" like it's an unnatural idea for the family to be getting together. Kinda bossy and busy-body.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She seems cruel and self serving. She seems ok with her sister being left out and by extension 2 grand kids and that turns my stomach.

    Load More Replies...
    Mike F
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have an idea, how about letting the old folks make the decision since they are the people who will be dealing with the kids? Little kids can be a nightmare to deal with, especially if they aren't regularly around the aunts/uncles/grandparents, but grandparents typically always have room for a fussy kid. My maternal GM had over 40 grandchildren and she was excited every time some came to visit. And, she remembered ALL of their names, even the 10 that lived here in Michigan.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a juggling act BUT it needs to be said, there are only so many Christmases left in the parents that they can enjoy all their grand kids. My own parents took a sudden down turn when mum was 78 and dad 82. Dad only lasted 2 more years. Because of coved, there was no more family Christmas as it was too much for them. Be very careful of robbing what years of joy are left for them to experience, even if it means they have 3 days of naps to recover after the events.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% agree Libstak. This is my first Christmas without my wonderful Dad, my 84 year old Mum beat breast cancer this year... she would be mortified if she didn't get to see one of her kids, let alone grandchild. Also, OP and brother could offer to help parents cook, etc. They could arrange an afternoon with sister and the kids. There are many ways around this without excluding family

    Load More Replies...
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