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Man Blames Wife For Leaving Slacks At Home, Gets A Harsh Reality Check From The Internet
Having a spouse means having someone to go through life with. While this person may be there to hold your hand through the good and bad times, it would be unreasonable to expect them to wait on you hand and foot.
This was a problem a married couple faced when the man grew frustrated with his wife for not packing his slacks for a work trip. The couple ended up having an argument that they could have avoided in the first place.
The husband’s harsh realization came thanks to the readers who let him have it. Scroll through for the entire story.
RELATED:
Married couples may argue over some of the most trivial matters
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
For this husband and wife, a pair of slacks left behind was the source of tension
Image credits: Rawpixel/Envato (not the actual photo)
The man said he understood where his wife was coming from, but he nonetheless defended his frustration
Image credits: justlazybrowsing
A woman’s “maternalizing drive” may affect her significant other in an unhealthy way
Most women express love and care for their male partners through helpful acts of kindness. It could be through simple gestures like running errands, cooking his favorite meal, and, in this story’s case, packing clothes for their husbands.
Licensed psychologist Dr. James Tobin refers to this as the “maternalizing drive,” which he says also has unintended consequences.
In an article on his website, Dr. Tobin explains that men who receive these acts of kindness may unconsciously feel infantilized and activate the child components of their identity.
Image credits: syda_productions/Freepik (not the actual photo)
“In essence, the relationship is transformed from an adult-to-adult, mutually interdependent bond to a maternal-child bond,” he wrote.
Licensed mental health counselor William Berry shared a similar statement, explaining how women may inadvertently take on the more mature role in a relationship, especially after marriage.
“For many married men, the wife may start to become a mother figure. She may encourage less play (hanging out with friends, heavy drinking) and behave in a more grown-up fashion,” Berry wrote.
Berry emphasizes that couples may be unaware that they’ve entered such an unhealthy dynamic in their relationship. But by recognizing that it happens, couples can gain a better understanding and compassion for each other.
People in the comments unanimously agreed that he was being a jerk to his wife
However, there were a couple of commenters who sided with him
The husband later shared an update, admitting he was in the wrong
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
"Oh no! I have agreed to a work trip and it is late at night and I am flying out tomorrow. Let me go ahead and shove the slacks I need washed and dried for my work trip into the dirty-clothes hamper! I shall then expect my wife to psychically understand that those slacks need to be washed and dried immediately after the button-down shirts are done, even if it is after midnight. I don't need to say anything verbally to her about washing the slacks - women instinctively do laundry, right?" /s
Epona 3 weeks ago
"We had to make a late night run to Walmart"?!? No, boyo, *you* had to make a late night run to Walmart! It's your work trip, not hers! Pack your own dang clothes!
Drema 3 weeks ago
I was confused on why the wife also had to go to the store at midnight with him. That seems like a one man job to me 🤷♀️
Load More Replies...
Trillian 3 weeks ago
For the life of me I will never understand why a grown adult would expect (or want) someone else to pack their d**n suitcase. I do that for my kids but only up to a certain age because they need to learn.
Lee Gilliland 3 weeks ago
I have never packed someone else's suitcase and wouldn't have the slightest idea how to do so. Do you change your underwear? How often and to what?
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
Just want to point out that when TSA asked if he packed his bags himself he lied and technically that's illegal.
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago (edited)
I laughed through most of this. I can’t comprehend buying new clothes late at night and then handing her the shirts to wash while saying “The pants need to be washed, too, but you’ll need to guess where I hid them.” 😳 Can *any* male Panda explain what went through his head when he hid the pants? (Bonus points if you can explain why he became angry with her for not locating their hiding place.) I simply can’t fathom the reasoning for laying out what he wanted to take on the trip .,. but hiding the slacks. I also don’t understand all the commenters calling him a “grown adult” when he is clearly neither. I’m also a bit frustrated with his “I apologized to her” and … well, it looks as if that was it. No “I see what I did wrong and this will never happen again as I realize I’m responsible for myself and she’s not my mother.” I don’t get the impression that he learned anything from this. 😕 If nothing else, I hope SHE learned that she needs to let him take care of his OWN s**t!
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
(As an aside, why did *he* hafta make all his own flights, hotel reservations, transportation, and so on? Have Travel departments been abolished? And if so, why? There’re typically good discounts when making arrangements for a buncha people on/in the same flights, hotels, and so forth, so why would companies get rid of their Travel departments? I wouldn’t wanna work for a company that makes me do all that nonsense when I have a *job* that’s totally not about making travel arrangements! I have no clue how to obtain discounts if I’m an individual making plans for just me!)
Load More Replies...
KatSaidThat 3 weeks ago
"Did you pack your own suitcase, Sir?" "No" - off to security you go. Pack your own suitcase if you want to make sure everything you want/need is in there. You're a fully grown manchild.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago
You're a grown àss man. Pack your own bloody suitcase, ya wet flannel!
Laserleader 3 weeks ago (edited)
YTA... this is the kind of blaming and resentment that is a sign of a failed marriage (dont expect another year ot two after this). My BIL was blaming his wife for "shrinking" his old clothes in the wash. The insanity of him denying his weight gain while demanding she be housewife, 10 years into the marriage didnt work. She had two jobs while she was pregnant with their first child at that time, BUT according to him her jobs were for fake things (elementary ESL and ADHD Paraprofessional) and he didnt belive in learning disabilities, while he worked a "real" job as a civil engineer. They now hate each other and she left with the kid and wants a divorce... yeah.
Emilu 3 weeks ago (edited)
Oh, that’s cute. He thinks she has enough time to go out of her way to shrink his clothes as opposed to him eating too much? What a loser. And working her jobs sounds effing hard. My mum’s a teacher who’s also done ASL work, and whilst she’s not a qualified ADHD professional the school at which she works has a lot of ADHD kids, so you need to be at least familiar. I’ve seen what she does, and it takes a special person. Edit: Can't English. English is hard.
Load More Replies...
ThisIsMe 3 weeks ago
My husband and I had planned to go visit my sister in another state when a work trip came up for me last minute. No big deal - I would go on the work trip, leave him with my "casual" suitcase and he would drive it to where my sister lived, pick me up at airport for the weekend and we'd drive home together. We went from the airport to the hotel, and that's when we discovered he didn't have my suitcase. After confirming he hadn't left it at the airport (maybe taken it out to sit on ground while he loaded my work bag) or in the driveway at home (cameras are a blessing) we called a neighbor to go in our house. It was sitting exactly where I left it earlier in the week. And who was angry? No one. He had a lot to do to get our house/animals prepped for being gone. He felt really bad though. But Wal-Mart for a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts saved the day!
roddy 3 weeks ago
This is the adult response. No malice there, just an oversight. So you handle it like a pro.
Load More Replies...
Roberta Surprenant 3 weeks ago
So, does he lie to security at airport when asked if he packed his own bag?
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago (edited)
I’m glad he saw sense , n I hope he bought her the biggest bouquet of flowers he could , !, and took her out for a very expensive meal some where lovely to , expecting her to put a wash on at midnight and get them dry ironed and packed , HELL NO DUDE , you said yes your dam choice do it yourself !, lazy t w a t. she’s your WIFE NOT YOUR MOTHER ,100% YTA !
Margaret Shannon 3 weeks ago
He's not only TA, he's incredibly stupid if he didn’t figure that out on his own.
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
Dude, your wife is being nice to you by minimizing the emotional upset you dumped on her for something that was 100% YOUR fault and no one else’s. You f*****g hurt her feelings and made her feel like s**t for not packing the new pants that YOU hid in the clothes hamper and never bothered to tell her about! YOU are completely at fault here—-and I suspect this is a habit of yours and something that you have done before countless times. YOU need to be better, consistently better, forever from now on. You have eroded her confidence and sense of safety with you by jumping down her throat and blaming her for every one of YOUR mistakes. If you do not straighten your a*s out NOW, you will die alone. Your wife will easily find another, better husband. Hell, once she’s shrugged you off, they’ll be lining up to date a wonderful woman like her.
Scott Rackley 3 weeks ago
So, I'm guessing he lied when they asked if someone else packed his bags.
Anne Roberts 3 days ago
What can't OP pack his own suitcase? He is the one going on the trip and not his wife. I wouldn't trust someone else to pack for me.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
"Oh no! I have agreed to a work trip and it is late at night and I am flying out tomorrow. Let me go ahead and shove the slacks I need washed and dried for my work trip into the dirty-clothes hamper! I shall then expect my wife to psychically understand that those slacks need to be washed and dried immediately after the button-down shirts are done, even if it is after midnight. I don't need to say anything verbally to her about washing the slacks - women instinctively do laundry, right?" /s
Epona 3 weeks ago
"We had to make a late night run to Walmart"?!? No, boyo, *you* had to make a late night run to Walmart! It's your work trip, not hers! Pack your own dang clothes!
Drema 3 weeks ago
I was confused on why the wife also had to go to the store at midnight with him. That seems like a one man job to me 🤷♀️
Load More Replies... Trillian 3 weeks ago
For the life of me I will never understand why a grown adult would expect (or want) someone else to pack their d**n suitcase. I do that for my kids but only up to a certain age because they need to learn.
Lee Gilliland 3 weeks ago
I have never packed someone else's suitcase and wouldn't have the slightest idea how to do so. Do you change your underwear? How often and to what?
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
Just want to point out that when TSA asked if he packed his bags himself he lied and technically that's illegal.
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago (edited)
I laughed through most of this. I can’t comprehend buying new clothes late at night and then handing her the shirts to wash while saying “The pants need to be washed, too, but you’ll need to guess where I hid them.” 😳 Can *any* male Panda explain what went through his head when he hid the pants? (Bonus points if you can explain why he became angry with her for not locating their hiding place.) I simply can’t fathom the reasoning for laying out what he wanted to take on the trip .,. but hiding the slacks. I also don’t understand all the commenters calling him a “grown adult” when he is clearly neither. I’m also a bit frustrated with his “I apologized to her” and … well, it looks as if that was it. No “I see what I did wrong and this will never happen again as I realize I’m responsible for myself and she’s not my mother.” I don’t get the impression that he learned anything from this. 😕 If nothing else, I hope SHE learned that she needs to let him take care of his OWN s**t!
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
(As an aside, why did *he* hafta make all his own flights, hotel reservations, transportation, and so on? Have Travel departments been abolished? And if so, why? There’re typically good discounts when making arrangements for a buncha people on/in the same flights, hotels, and so forth, so why would companies get rid of their Travel departments? I wouldn’t wanna work for a company that makes me do all that nonsense when I have a *job* that’s totally not about making travel arrangements! I have no clue how to obtain discounts if I’m an individual making plans for just me!)
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 3 weeks ago
"Did you pack your own suitcase, Sir?" "No" - off to security you go. Pack your own suitcase if you want to make sure everything you want/need is in there. You're a fully grown manchild.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago
You're a grown àss man. Pack your own bloody suitcase, ya wet flannel!
Laserleader 3 weeks ago (edited)
YTA... this is the kind of blaming and resentment that is a sign of a failed marriage (dont expect another year ot two after this). My BIL was blaming his wife for "shrinking" his old clothes in the wash. The insanity of him denying his weight gain while demanding she be housewife, 10 years into the marriage didnt work. She had two jobs while she was pregnant with their first child at that time, BUT according to him her jobs were for fake things (elementary ESL and ADHD Paraprofessional) and he didnt belive in learning disabilities, while he worked a "real" job as a civil engineer. They now hate each other and she left with the kid and wants a divorce... yeah.
Emilu 3 weeks ago (edited)
Oh, that’s cute. He thinks she has enough time to go out of her way to shrink his clothes as opposed to him eating too much? What a loser. And working her jobs sounds effing hard. My mum’s a teacher who’s also done ASL work, and whilst she’s not a qualified ADHD professional the school at which she works has a lot of ADHD kids, so you need to be at least familiar. I’ve seen what she does, and it takes a special person. Edit: Can't English. English is hard.
Load More Replies... ThisIsMe 3 weeks ago
My husband and I had planned to go visit my sister in another state when a work trip came up for me last minute. No big deal - I would go on the work trip, leave him with my "casual" suitcase and he would drive it to where my sister lived, pick me up at airport for the weekend and we'd drive home together. We went from the airport to the hotel, and that's when we discovered he didn't have my suitcase. After confirming he hadn't left it at the airport (maybe taken it out to sit on ground while he loaded my work bag) or in the driveway at home (cameras are a blessing) we called a neighbor to go in our house. It was sitting exactly where I left it earlier in the week. And who was angry? No one. He had a lot to do to get our house/animals prepped for being gone. He felt really bad though. But Wal-Mart for a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts saved the day!
roddy 3 weeks ago
This is the adult response. No malice there, just an oversight. So you handle it like a pro.
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 3 weeks ago
So, does he lie to security at airport when asked if he packed his own bag?
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago (edited)
I’m glad he saw sense , n I hope he bought her the biggest bouquet of flowers he could , !, and took her out for a very expensive meal some where lovely to , expecting her to put a wash on at midnight and get them dry ironed and packed , HELL NO DUDE , you said yes your dam choice do it yourself !, lazy t w a t. she’s your WIFE NOT YOUR MOTHER ,100% YTA !
Margaret Shannon 3 weeks ago
He's not only TA, he's incredibly stupid if he didn’t figure that out on his own.
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
Dude, your wife is being nice to you by minimizing the emotional upset you dumped on her for something that was 100% YOUR fault and no one else’s. You f*****g hurt her feelings and made her feel like s**t for not packing the new pants that YOU hid in the clothes hamper and never bothered to tell her about! YOU are completely at fault here—-and I suspect this is a habit of yours and something that you have done before countless times. YOU need to be better, consistently better, forever from now on. You have eroded her confidence and sense of safety with you by jumping down her throat and blaming her for every one of YOUR mistakes. If you do not straighten your a*s out NOW, you will die alone. Your wife will easily find another, better husband. Hell, once she’s shrugged you off, they’ll be lining up to date a wonderful woman like her.
Scott Rackley 3 weeks ago
So, I'm guessing he lied when they asked if someone else packed his bags.
Anne Roberts 3 days ago
What can't OP pack his own suitcase? He is the one going on the trip and not his wife. I wouldn't trust someone else to pack for me.
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