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Woman Isn’t Allowed Vegan Dishes During Christmas Eve, Family Shocked She Doesn’t Show Up
The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and relaxation, not additional stress and family drama. But unfortunately, despite your best intentions and maximum flexibility, you sometimes get into arguments with your loved ones. Over food, no less.
One woman asked the internet whether she was wrong to skip her family’s Christmas Eve celebration altogether because there were absolutely no vegan options. Despite the woman suggesting a bunch of reasonable alternatives, her aunt was adamantly opposed to all of them. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s comments.
RELATED:
Your family might have a difficult time adjusting to your new lifestyle if you’ve recently gone vegan. However, this doesn’t mean that they can throw empathy out of the window
Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman revealed how she decided to skip her family’s Christmas Eve dinner altogether after a bizarre argument with her aunt over vegan dishes
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: wonderingifimahhh
If you offer the dinner host various reasonable alternatives, but they still refuse to accommodate your preferences, it might be personal
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s beyond frustrating when somebody doesn’t even try to be the tiniest bit empathetic toward you. Case in point, the author of the online post shared how she offered several alternatives to her aunt, just so she’d have something she could actually eat at the family dinner on Christmas Eve.
However, her aunt was stubborn to a fault. She refused to budge even a little bit.
And her excuse as to why her niece couldn’t bring any of her own dishes (a peanut allergy in the family) fell apart the moment she prohibited making any vegan dishes at her home.
At this point, it’s probably safe to say that the aunt probably had a problem with her niece’s dietary preferences and vegan lifestyle. Not quite the tolerant attitude you’d expect when you’ve never voiced any issues with your relatives continuing to eat meat yourself.
Despite all of these potential lifestyle differences, it’s possible to keep the peace and enjoy a fantastic time with your relatives over the holidays. It just takes a small shift in perspective.
The dinner table isn’t the best place to argue about dietary preferences. Nobody enjoys being judged for their life choices
Image credits: dragonimages/Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to ‘Viva!’, the United Kingdom’s leading vegan campaigning charity, if you’ve recently gone vegan, it can help if you talk to your family about it before Christmas. “You can politely send them a text telling them why you are vegan, and let them know of any requests you might have. For example, you might ask if they can make vegan food for you, or you could ask them to make sure they keep the vegan food you bring separate from the meat and dairy on the table.”
However, you can’t expect that everyone will remember to accommodate your dietary preferences. They might forget to get vegan options. Or the ingredients they thought were vegan might be anything but.
So, it’s probably best if you can bring your own food. “You can show people how delicious it is to be vegan and easily dismiss any comments about only eating ‘rabbit food’. This is a great form of subtle, positive vegan activism at Christmas,” ‘Viva!’ suggests.
In a similar vein, you shouldn’t engage in any vegan-related debates at the dinner table over the holidays. If someone wants to talk to you about all the moral, environmental, and health reasons related to you embracing veganism, you can have the conversation privately, later.
Furthermore, you don’t want to come across as judgmental, thus activating your family’s defence mechanisms.“No one likes to be told they are wrong, and while you might think they are, this is never going to make them more open to veganism.”
What do you think, Pandas? Who do you think was in the wrong here? How would you react to a family member refusing to be in any way flexible when it comes to your dietary preferences? Would you ever go as far as skipping family dinners over the holidays to prove your point? You can share your thoughts in the comments below. We’d like to hear your perspectives.
Later on, the author answered people’s questions in the comments, sharing more context
The majority of internet users were on the vegan’s side. Here’s their perspective
However, some folks were less than understanding and started criticizing the author
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What do you think ?
KatSaidThat 14 hours ago
I'm not usually on the side of vegans but the aunt was just being a b***h.
Auntriarch 14 hours ago
I made vegan food for Diwali one year because one of my guests was vegan and one lactose intolerant. It gave me pleasure when they asked which dishes they could eat, to be able to say "all of them". Oh and there weren't any leftovers either.
arthbach 13 hours ago
Making good food for guests is something in which I take delight. Whether it's ensure a Coeliac has a choice of food, or vegans being able to eat anything on the table, or a guy taking a bite of apple crumble and saying, "It's just like my Granny's," it all gives me joy.
Load More Replies...
Luke Branwen 13 hours ago
I'm always astonished by the lengths people are willing to go to spite vegans. I'm not a vegan and I'll never be, but if my vegan friend came for a visit, I'd be happy to expand my horizons and cook some vegan dish for her.
L.V 13 hours ago
As usual, the YTA didn't read the white thing. Op was willing to compromise, but aunt was not flexible at all! So OP did her own thing without fuss. Also, I don't understand people who put meat in anything. I like meat, but it's really not that hard to make side dishes with veggies only, buy hummus as a dip...
Cat servant 10 hours ago
I'm an omnivore. I learned to cooked vegetarian dishes as a teen. Most of those can be made vegan easily. I don't understand why people have to put chicken broth in everything. Potatoes can be sliced and roasted with vegetable oil and herbs. Beans don't need ham or bacon or chicken broth. Checking the ingredients of packaged foods is easy. Seasoned vegetables are really tasty without meat or butter. The only time this should be an issue is when the host has to to try to juggle 4 or so different diets. That's when you declare a potluck and everyone brings a dish. Nut allergies should get a ban on any nut dishes if the person involved is not yet able to understand stand " don't eat this" such as a young child.
FreeTheUnicorn 13 hours ago
It's not like she skipped a funeral. If people are sad they didn't see OP, make plans to see her. Otherwise how could you possibly ruin a gathering that you don't attend? Not much Christmas spirit in that family.
madeleine f 14 hours ago
I would find it hard to accomodate a vegan. Not because I oppose any life choices but cross contamination is a big issue too for many and I would not be confident with that. However if peole bring their own food that would be absolutely fine and I would happily buy some complimentary vegan dishes everyone could enjoy. People can be so judgemental regarding others food choices. Just enjoy life and dare to try new things including vegan diahes.
arthbach 13 hours ago
madeleine f, cross contamination is big issue for those with serious allergies, or Coeliacs. But for a vegan, make the non-vegan stuff first, cover it and set it aside. Give the worksurfaces and items you are going to use a good clean, and make the vegan food.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 13 hours ago
5 years ago, 6 years ago...have you all clocked off for the holidays?
Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 12 hours ago
This year's holiday drama posts haven't happened yet, give them a bit more time!
Load More Replies...
Marnie 2 hours ago
Aunt was definitely TA. But on a side note, it drives me nuts (ha ha) when someone talks about peanut allergies, and then later talks about "nuts", like not bringing anything containing nuts. Peanuts are NOT NUTS. The are legumes. "Nuts" are tree nuts like almonds and hazelnut.
J R 2 hours ago
NTA. Once again, the YTAs are insane. She never demanded the aunt change the meal; she offered to bring food, and when that was rebuffed, offered to help the aunt cook a dish. The aunt refused both. There are plenty of ways to make vegan food nut free; the aunt refused all of those. The aunt's just a c**t.
Asri 3 hours ago
I'm allergic to onions. It's a lot harder to accommodate because you have to cook absolutely everything from scratch. Yet if I go to a friend's BBQ they always make sure there are some things I can eat. If the OP had had alpha-gal syndrome would they still insist she eat red meat?
Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
Wow. Aunt was horribly rude and unwelcoming. I wouldn't have gone either. In fact, I think i'd just avoid auntie as much as possible in future.
Bookworm 5 hours ago
The YTA going on about choice cracks me up. Every time you eat you're making a choice. Aunt chose not to accept any accomodation OP offered that would have made her comfortable choosing to go. So OP chose to stay away from where she clearly wasn't welcomed. YTAs focused only on the choice they disagree with.
Lemon Meringue Pie 9 hours ago
Oh yes, cutting meat out of several of the side dishes and replacing it with firm tofu or seitan is extremely hard, I'm not doing that! (sarcasm)
DC 10 hours ago
NTA. The YTA crowd, obviously, all are TA. OP should skip that aunt altogether, because there's no point in even knowing vegan-haters. People hating vegans, generally, aren't worth anybodys' time, and people refusing to allow to self-accomodate, even on the level of consideration OP has shown, have issues they can and should either solve alone, or at least, if they won't solve them, not take them out on others. She did. OP's aunt is one example of why I am happy to not have any aunts.
Nicole Weymann 11 hours ago
To all the YTA commenters: auntie didn't only refuse to cook some vegan dish for OP, she also refused to let her bring something for herself. As OP said that SAME auntie routinely brings own supplies for her autistic son, so "I'll bring my own for sensibilities' reasons" is not unheard of in the family (the nut allergy is something else). And "just eat the veggies already" when just about every dish, including greens, has bacon bits, cream, or chicken stock added, as OP explained. OP did what they could to accomodate auntie, and even stayed home without major misgivings, while auntie griped on facebook. NTA.
marcelo D. 12 hours ago
Aunt is not only a horrible host (you have to make sure that everyone can actaully eat when you invite people), but then she tried to act like the victim? OP go to that topic and post ALL of this there, and let everyone know that she is a horrible person, and then claiming victimhood
Jack 8 hours ago
Also, she should have responded to that post with 'It really is a shame when an Aunt goes out of her way to make her niece feel completely unwelcome at Christmas by refusing to accommodate her dietary restrictions or let said niece bring her own food. Thank goodness this niece has a good brother who didn't want her to be alone on Christmas Eve. Seasons Greetings everyone!"
Jack 8 hours ago
Folks, your body requires enzymes to digest your food. If you go from eating meat to not eating meat, your body stops having the right enzymes to digest meat. Someone who's been a vegan for almost a year probably doesn't have any meat-eating enzymes, so if she eats meat now: she'll vomit or get diarrhea. A vegan is not simply facing a moral issue if there's nothing but meat dishes available, she may not actually be able to digest the food and is likely to spend more time in the bathroom than with the family.
The Other Guest 8 hours ago (edited)
Even if you weren't hungry after not eating for six hours, it wouldn't be fun at all to sit at the table (or in another room) while everyone else was sharing a meal & all you had was an empty plate. Appetite/hunger can be triggered by the smell of food so yeah, even eating beforehand wouldn't guarantee not being hungry 6 hours later.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidThat 12 hours ago
It's not fussy eating, it's a food lifestyle. And easily accommodated.
Load More Replies...
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 13 hours ago
Vegan diets are not "extremely unhealthy", and you being an ex-gym instructor is not relevant at all. Vegan diets, like all diets, are fine as long as you are getting all the required nutrients, and while a vegan diet can make that harder, it is by no means impossible. And for the record, no, I'm not at all vegan or even vegetarian, however I do sometimes cook vegan food at home simply because there are some recipes we, as a family, enjoy.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 14 hours ago
I'm not usually on the side of vegans but the aunt was just being a b***h.
Auntriarch 14 hours ago
I made vegan food for Diwali one year because one of my guests was vegan and one lactose intolerant. It gave me pleasure when they asked which dishes they could eat, to be able to say "all of them". Oh and there weren't any leftovers either.
arthbach 13 hours ago
Making good food for guests is something in which I take delight. Whether it's ensure a Coeliac has a choice of food, or vegans being able to eat anything on the table, or a guy taking a bite of apple crumble and saying, "It's just like my Granny's," it all gives me joy.
Load More Replies... Luke Branwen 13 hours ago
I'm always astonished by the lengths people are willing to go to spite vegans. I'm not a vegan and I'll never be, but if my vegan friend came for a visit, I'd be happy to expand my horizons and cook some vegan dish for her.
L.V 13 hours ago
As usual, the YTA didn't read the white thing. Op was willing to compromise, but aunt was not flexible at all! So OP did her own thing without fuss. Also, I don't understand people who put meat in anything. I like meat, but it's really not that hard to make side dishes with veggies only, buy hummus as a dip...
Cat servant 10 hours ago
I'm an omnivore. I learned to cooked vegetarian dishes as a teen. Most of those can be made vegan easily. I don't understand why people have to put chicken broth in everything. Potatoes can be sliced and roasted with vegetable oil and herbs. Beans don't need ham or bacon or chicken broth. Checking the ingredients of packaged foods is easy. Seasoned vegetables are really tasty without meat or butter. The only time this should be an issue is when the host has to to try to juggle 4 or so different diets. That's when you declare a potluck and everyone brings a dish. Nut allergies should get a ban on any nut dishes if the person involved is not yet able to understand stand " don't eat this" such as a young child.
FreeTheUnicorn 13 hours ago
It's not like she skipped a funeral. If people are sad they didn't see OP, make plans to see her. Otherwise how could you possibly ruin a gathering that you don't attend? Not much Christmas spirit in that family.
madeleine f 14 hours ago
I would find it hard to accomodate a vegan. Not because I oppose any life choices but cross contamination is a big issue too for many and I would not be confident with that. However if peole bring their own food that would be absolutely fine and I would happily buy some complimentary vegan dishes everyone could enjoy. People can be so judgemental regarding others food choices. Just enjoy life and dare to try new things including vegan diahes.
arthbach 13 hours ago
madeleine f, cross contamination is big issue for those with serious allergies, or Coeliacs. But for a vegan, make the non-vegan stuff first, cover it and set it aside. Give the worksurfaces and items you are going to use a good clean, and make the vegan food.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 13 hours ago
5 years ago, 6 years ago...have you all clocked off for the holidays?
Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 12 hours ago
This year's holiday drama posts haven't happened yet, give them a bit more time!
Load More Replies... Marnie 2 hours ago
Aunt was definitely TA. But on a side note, it drives me nuts (ha ha) when someone talks about peanut allergies, and then later talks about "nuts", like not bringing anything containing nuts. Peanuts are NOT NUTS. The are legumes. "Nuts" are tree nuts like almonds and hazelnut.
J R 2 hours ago
NTA. Once again, the YTAs are insane. She never demanded the aunt change the meal; she offered to bring food, and when that was rebuffed, offered to help the aunt cook a dish. The aunt refused both. There are plenty of ways to make vegan food nut free; the aunt refused all of those. The aunt's just a c**t.
Asri 3 hours ago
I'm allergic to onions. It's a lot harder to accommodate because you have to cook absolutely everything from scratch. Yet if I go to a friend's BBQ they always make sure there are some things I can eat. If the OP had had alpha-gal syndrome would they still insist she eat red meat?
Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
Wow. Aunt was horribly rude and unwelcoming. I wouldn't have gone either. In fact, I think i'd just avoid auntie as much as possible in future.
Bookworm 5 hours ago
The YTA going on about choice cracks me up. Every time you eat you're making a choice. Aunt chose not to accept any accomodation OP offered that would have made her comfortable choosing to go. So OP chose to stay away from where she clearly wasn't welcomed. YTAs focused only on the choice they disagree with.
Lemon Meringue Pie 9 hours ago
Oh yes, cutting meat out of several of the side dishes and replacing it with firm tofu or seitan is extremely hard, I'm not doing that! (sarcasm)
DC 10 hours ago
NTA. The YTA crowd, obviously, all are TA. OP should skip that aunt altogether, because there's no point in even knowing vegan-haters. People hating vegans, generally, aren't worth anybodys' time, and people refusing to allow to self-accomodate, even on the level of consideration OP has shown, have issues they can and should either solve alone, or at least, if they won't solve them, not take them out on others. She did. OP's aunt is one example of why I am happy to not have any aunts.
Nicole Weymann 11 hours ago
To all the YTA commenters: auntie didn't only refuse to cook some vegan dish for OP, she also refused to let her bring something for herself. As OP said that SAME auntie routinely brings own supplies for her autistic son, so "I'll bring my own for sensibilities' reasons" is not unheard of in the family (the nut allergy is something else). And "just eat the veggies already" when just about every dish, including greens, has bacon bits, cream, or chicken stock added, as OP explained. OP did what they could to accomodate auntie, and even stayed home without major misgivings, while auntie griped on facebook. NTA.
marcelo D. 12 hours ago
Aunt is not only a horrible host (you have to make sure that everyone can actaully eat when you invite people), but then she tried to act like the victim? OP go to that topic and post ALL of this there, and let everyone know that she is a horrible person, and then claiming victimhood
Jack 8 hours ago
Also, she should have responded to that post with 'It really is a shame when an Aunt goes out of her way to make her niece feel completely unwelcome at Christmas by refusing to accommodate her dietary restrictions or let said niece bring her own food. Thank goodness this niece has a good brother who didn't want her to be alone on Christmas Eve. Seasons Greetings everyone!"
Jack 8 hours ago
Folks, your body requires enzymes to digest your food. If you go from eating meat to not eating meat, your body stops having the right enzymes to digest meat. Someone who's been a vegan for almost a year probably doesn't have any meat-eating enzymes, so if she eats meat now: she'll vomit or get diarrhea. A vegan is not simply facing a moral issue if there's nothing but meat dishes available, she may not actually be able to digest the food and is likely to spend more time in the bathroom than with the family.
The Other Guest 8 hours ago (edited)
Even if you weren't hungry after not eating for six hours, it wouldn't be fun at all to sit at the table (or in another room) while everyone else was sharing a meal & all you had was an empty plate. Appetite/hunger can be triggered by the smell of food so yeah, even eating beforehand wouldn't guarantee not being hungry 6 hours later.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 12 hours ago
It's not fussy eating, it's a food lifestyle. And easily accommodated.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 13 hours ago
Vegan diets are not "extremely unhealthy", and you being an ex-gym instructor is not relevant at all. Vegan diets, like all diets, are fine as long as you are getting all the required nutrients, and while a vegan diet can make that harder, it is by no means impossible. And for the record, no, I'm not at all vegan or even vegetarian, however I do sometimes cook vegan food at home simply because there are some recipes we, as a family, enjoy.
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