Woman Called A Bad Mom For Letting Her Teen Be Miserable So She Could “Prove A Point To Society”
Interview With Expert
There’s no excuse for bullying. Unfortunately, bullies can latch on to even the smallest things to tease their victims about. In these situations, you’d expect your parents to always have your back. Sometimes, that’s not the case. Redditor u/Equivalent_Hour_9905 recently touched on a sensitive topic in a post shared with the r/AITAH online community.
She explained how her niece is constantly bullied at school because she has excessive hair growth on her body and face. The young woman turned to her aunt for help and they went to get her waxed. However, they did so without the teen’s mom knowing, who went ballistic when she heard what happened. Scroll down for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to u/Equivalent_Hour_9905 for comment. We’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
Bored Panda wanted to learn how to deal with bullying and rebuild self-esteem, so we reached out to school psychologist Dr. Jessica Koehler, the founder of the Koehler Academy, published author, and the host of the Beyond School Walls blog on Psychology Today. You’ll find her insights as you read on.
Excess hair growth is known as hirsutism and it affects about 1 in 10 women
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she helped her niece who is bullied at school for being ‘too hairy’
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No Revisions (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Equivalent_Hour_9905
“Teenagers should be encouraged to speak about their experiences with trusted adults, like parents, teachers, or school counselors”
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
According to Dr. Koehler, dealing with bullying effectively requires a multi-faceted approach. “Open communication is key—teenagers should be encouraged to speak about their experiences with trusted adults, like parents, teachers, or school counselors,” the school psychologist told Bored Panda via email.
“This provides a support system and can initiate appropriate interventions,” she explained.
“Secondly, developing coping strategies, such as resilience-building activities, mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies, can empower teenagers. Schools also play a crucial role by implementing anti-bullying policies and fostering an inclusive environment.”
Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious about finding out how teenagers can rebuild self-esteem after losing it. According to the school psychology expert, this involves several strategies.
“Engaging in activities where they feel competent and valued can significantly boost their confidence. Positive reinforcement from family and friends is vital and they should focus on strengths rather than weaknesses,” Dr. Koehler shared.
“Encouraging social interactions in supportive environments can also be beneficial. Professional help like counseling can provide tailored strategies to rebuild self-esteem in more severe cases.”
However, it’s not just bullying in-person that kids have to worry about these days. Cyberbullying is a real issue as well. “It’s essential to recognize the role of digital literacy and online safety education in preventing cyberbullying,” Dr. Koehler said.
“Teaching teens about responsible online behavior and how to seek help if they encounter bullying online is increasingly important.”
There are numerous reasons why someone might have excess hair growth. It’s best to reach out to your doctor to learn more
The excess growth of dark and coarse hair over all areas of the body is called hirsutism and it affects about 1 in 10 women. According to the ‘Better Health Channel,’ hirsutism can be caused (among other things) by polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Also known as PCOS, the syndrome is also linked to irregular menstrual cycles, acne, obesity, infertility, and an increased risk of diabetes, as well as osteoporosis.
Some other reasons for hirsutism can be abnormal growths on the ovary or adrenal gland, excess levels of the hormone cortisol or adrenal gland hormones, or the overproduction of insulin.
Other things that can lead to excessive hair growth include excess production of the hormone prolactin, the use of anabolic steroids, and an underactive thyroid gland. In short, there are many possible explanations for hirsutism, and both genetics and the environment can be said to cause this.
Kids need to know that their loved ones support them and that they can talk about sensitive issues with them
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Whatever the case might be, it might be a good idea to go see your doctor about it. They can run a few tests and get to the bottom of things. As ‘Mom Junction’ points out, teenage girls can make some simple changes in their diets to reduce some of the effects of excessive hair growth. For example, they should eat fewer sugary and refined foods, as well as trans fats.
Meanwhile, they should aim to eat more cold-water fish, lean meats, beans, tofu, and healthy oils. Drinking plenty of water and getting lots of regular exercise are also key here.
But let’s not ignore the impact that proper emotional support has, either. Teenagers are going through a lot of changes in their lives and learning about their place in the world. Having their parents, relatives, and friends back them up can have huge positive impacts on their self-esteem.
On the flip side, if they feel that it’s ‘them against the world,’ they might feel confused and frustrated. It’s absolutely essential to sit down with the teen to let them know that you’re on their side. They also have to understand that they can feel free to discuss sensitive issues with you.
The important part here is for adults not to judge the teens and to actively listen to their perspectives. Someone who’s constantly judging and criticizing their kids might soon find that they won’t open up to them anymore.
Bullying needs to be reported as soon as possible
Meanwhile, the core issue isn’t excess hair, per se. It’s bullying at school. As ‘KidsHealth’ notes, bullies do what they do due to a wide range of reasons. For some, treating others poorly is a way to feel better about themselves. For others, it’s a way to reclaim control because they’re inflicting the same pain on others that they’ve received themselves.
Though it’s important to understand why someone is bullying others, it doesn’t make them less responsible for their reprehensible actions. Nobody should ever be made to feel bad for how they look.
Bullying needs to be reported to the school ASAP. Preferably, with some evidence to back up the claims if possible so that things don’t turn into a ‘he said/she said’ situation. This is the moment when family and friends ought to show their unconditional support for the victim. Closing ranks like this can give teenagers a huge boost of confidence and help them develop the emotional resilience to stand up to bullies in the future.
The aunt answered some internet users’ questions
Most readers thought that the author did the right thing. Here are a few of their arguments
Others shared similar stories about dealing with excess hair growth
I'm kinda crunchy, don't shave, and all that, but I would always allow my kid to dress, shave, or do whatever the way he wants. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean I think everyone else needs to think that way too.
Exactly. A child's well-being - including mental health - comes first.
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Her daughter is 14, she's old enough to make her own mind up about something that will not permanently damage her (waxing). Mother is disrespecting her daughter's feelings and opinions in favour of her own. In my opinion, after a certain age, and as long as it's not damaging to their health, you can advise your child, give them your opinion and preference but then you have to let them make the ultimate decision. And then respect that decision.
I got hirsutism around the time my periods started and was relentlessly harassed because of it. Especially the face hair, unubrow, and yeti legs. My mom thought I was too young to shave and laser didn't exist back then. I'm all for hair liberation, but kids can be very cruel. Puberty is not a time you want to be a hairy girl.
I'm kinda crunchy, don't shave, and all that, but I would always allow my kid to dress, shave, or do whatever the way he wants. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean I think everyone else needs to think that way too.
Exactly. A child's well-being - including mental health - comes first.
Load More Replies... Her daughter is 14, she's old enough to make her own mind up about something that will not permanently damage her (waxing). Mother is disrespecting her daughter's feelings and opinions in favour of her own. In my opinion, after a certain age, and as long as it's not damaging to their health, you can advise your child, give them your opinion and preference but then you have to let them make the ultimate decision. And then respect that decision.
I got hirsutism around the time my periods started and was relentlessly harassed because of it. Especially the face hair, unubrow, and yeti legs. My mom thought I was too young to shave and laser didn't exist back then. I'm all for hair liberation, but kids can be very cruel. Puberty is not a time you want to be a hairy girl.
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