Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
50
Daughter Takes Away House Keys From Mom After She Turns Up Without Warning Too Many Times
When children grow up, parents might struggle to let go of their parenting responsibilities. Their primary instinct is to care for and protect their kids and once they become adults, losing that control can be difficult to cope with. However, finding balance is important, as overbearing parenting in adulthood can hinder the relationship between parents and their adult children.
Just like what happened with this 36-year-old woman, whose mom kept letting herself in without any warning. Growing tired of her intrusiveness, she demanded that she get out and even took away the keys to her home, expecting her to never show up there unannounced ever again.
RELATED:
Parents might struggle to let go of their adult children
Image credits: monkeybusiness (not the actual photo)
This mom would constantly let herself into her 36-year-old daughter’s home without warning
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Proposal1920
Without clear boundaries, parents might think that unannounced visits are okay
There are many resources on how to parent young or adolescent children, but there’s little guidance for parents on how to navigate their relationship with kids once they become adults. This period in both adult children’s and parent’s lives may be the most complicated one, as the relationship becomes very different and parents are forced to let go of their children, who seemingly grew up overnight.
Even though their children are already independent adults, (understandably) parents want to be involved in their lives, foster their connection, and support them as much as they can. However, balancing between being involved and overstepping boundaries can be tricky. That’s why some parents might come off as overbearing or controlling.
To navigate the relationship between parents and adult children better, they both have to establish and respect boundaries they deem to be necessary in their lives. If this isn’t done, parents might think that unannounced visits and invasion of personal space and privacy are okay. Or that unsolicited advice or interference in decision-making is what children want.
While parents might think that they’re helping, crossing such boundaries can make adult children feel undermined. Unsought recommendations, control over decisions, and lack of privacy can lower psychological well-being and hinder independence and personal growth as well as the relationship between parent and their adult child.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
To strengthen relationships with their adult children, parents have to listen and respect their boundaries
To avoid intrusiveness, adult children have to establish clear boundaries. They can be set around certain topics or they can be physical ones, like asking not to stop by the house without calling. The intention of boundaries is to help people communicate and connect in healthier ways. Instead of seeing boundaries as an enemy or a way for children to push them away, parents should listen and honor them and even praise their kids for standing up to make the relationship better.
In general, when their children grow up, parents should occupy the position of mentor instead of a parent. Most likely, an adult kid has different views and opinions on life so when they receive unsolicited advice or suggestions, they may feel like they’re being controlled and respond negatively or shut down completely.
Sometimes when children come to parents with an issue, all they want to do is vent, rather than receive criticism. So parents have to practice active listening and be patient with their kids. “If parents can embrace only offering advice when asked, and learn the skills to listen thoughtfully, their relationship will almost certainly strengthen,” said marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein.
In the meantime, parents should focus on taking care of themselves, as many years of parenting have most likely taken a toll on them. They might want to prioritize their partner and do the things they enjoy for the benefit of their mental and physical health. The better state they’re in, the more effort they can put into fostering a positive relationship with their adult children.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The woman shared more information in the comments, including what happened in Mexico
Commenters suggested changing the locks
Others also agreed that the mom was being too intrusive
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
She would never have keys again. I'm wondering if the OCD could also make her really nosy. A friends mother has OCD, Ann was in the hospital for a few days when she was pregnant and her mother wanted to clean for them. Well she went through their bills and complained about them. They had a small credit card that they used for gas that has good benefits and they pay it off every month so they don't pay any interest fees. After that Wanda was never allowed in the house again when Ann was in the hospital for anything else or her husband. Nobody has ever had a key to my house except me, my husband and our kids
Tabitha 10 months ago
Same. I didn’t give anyone a copy of my house keys until my husband came into my life—-and even then it wasn’t until I knew I could trust him.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
She would never have keys again. I'm wondering if the OCD could also make her really nosy. A friends mother has OCD, Ann was in the hospital for a few days when she was pregnant and her mother wanted to clean for them. Well she went through their bills and complained about them. They had a small credit card that they used for gas that has good benefits and they pay it off every month so they don't pay any interest fees. After that Wanda was never allowed in the house again when Ann was in the hospital for anything else or her husband. Nobody has ever had a key to my house except me, my husband and our kids
Tabitha 10 months ago
Same. I didn’t give anyone a copy of my house keys until my husband came into my life—-and even then it wasn’t until I knew I could trust him.
Load More Replies... You May Like Lady Drops 11YO On Front Porch, Shocked After 11YO's Mom Refuses To Let Daughter Come Around Again Mom Notices Both Grandmas Want Alone Time With Baby, Doesn't Feel Comfortable With It Parents Assume Childfree Cousin Will Babysit For Them On A Trip; Receive A Shocking Surprise Instead
Rūta Zumbrickaitė
Gabija Palšytė
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
32
31