“AITJ For Going Through My 36-Year-Old Sister’s Luggage Before She Leaves To Go Back Home?”

Sibling rivalry is quite normal among kids. Of course, it’s something parents have to manage, but sometimes, it even goes on well into adulthood. According to the National Organization for Women, one in two adults still argue and compete with their siblings.

For these two sisters, the tensions reached a boiling point during NYE. One sister tried to wind the other up by wearing her five-year-old daughter’s clothes without permission. Later, the mother found her daughter’s skirt in her sister’s luggage, prompting a huge fight over text. She felt a bit guilty about going through her things, but protecting her daughter was more important.

Bored Panda reached out to the mother, u/IsEveryoneOkorNo, and she kindly agreed to have a chat with us. Read on to find out why her relationship with her sister has been so strained and more about her extended family dynamics.

A woman went through her sister’s suitcase to find her daughter’s skirt

Woman packing suitcase with clothes and accessories, possibly stealing niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)

The sister teased the child the day before by wearing it, angering both her and the mom

Woman caught stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying about it, claiming it was an accident during family visit discussion.

Woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt causing family drama and lies when caught to avoid confrontation on New Year’s Eve.

Text excerpt about a sister complaining about having nothing fun to wear during a family event.

Woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s gold sequined skirt causes upset as aunt tries to wear it and lie about it.

Sequin skirt hanging on a rack, highlighting the skirt that a woman steals from her 5-year-old niece.

Image credits: Dom J (not the actual image)

Upset child upset over stolen skirt by woman, who lied about the incident after being caught red-handed.

Text describing a stressful family conflict involving a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught.

Text on a white background reading so we try not to upset her as much as possible related to woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Text excerpt discussing concerns about daughters’ feelings and addressing unsafe behavior affecting mental and emotional states.

Crying 5-year-old niece holding hands with woman in a bathroom, depicting emotional distress and a family conflict.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual image)

Alt text: Woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt and tries on hot pants, causing a funny and ridiculous family moment.

Text on a white background reads a personal message about exhaustion and waiting for the sister to leave after disaster-filled nights.

Text excerpt discussing a woman accused of stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the resulting suspicion.

Text excerpt about woman stealing niece’s skirt, showing frustration and conflict over the skirt theft and lying.

After receiving some comments, she clarified how her sister was able to fit into the skirt and why she and her daughter were living with her mom

Text update explaining living circumstances, sister’s weight, and confusion using Reddit, related to woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Text describing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed about the incident.

Woman looking distressed and regretful while sitting on a bed, reflecting on stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt situation.

Image credits: Ambreen (not the actual image)

Text excerpt about moving back home and planning a self-sustaining farm to care for mom, involving woman and daughter.

Text discussing a strained family relationship and moving into mother’s space after house flooding for daughter’s wellbeing.

Woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies after getting caught red-handed, claiming it must’ve been an accident.

Woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies when caught, claiming it must have been an accident in a family dispute.

Young girl with backpack walking outside, representing a 5-year-old niece related to skirt stealing incident.

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)

Text excerpt discussing family living arrangements and financial struggles, relating to woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Text about a woman involved in stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Text excerpt from a personal story about protecting a daughter amid family conflicts involving a stolen skirt incident.

Text discussing a woman who steals her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies when caught red-handed.

Text excerpt discussing fear, anxiety, and trauma experienced when a woman steals a young niece’s skirt and lies when caught.

Text excerpt describing a woman stealing a skirt from her niece and lying when confronted about the incident.

Text discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught, with family conflict involved.

Two women on a couch in a tense conversation, illustrating conflict around woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro (not the actual image)

Text excerpt discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and refusing to return it despite being caught.

Text excerpt discussing a woman described as unstable, involving a skirt and family conflict with her niece.

Woman steals 5-year-old niece’s skirt, lies when caught, causing family tension and emotional distress over the incident

Text message conversation about a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and denying it when caught.

Text describing a family conflict involving a woman who steals her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies when confronted.

Text excerpt discussing conflict involving a woman and her 5-year-old niece over a stolen skirt and dishonesty.

Image credits: IsEveryoneOkorNo

The Redditor tells Bored Panda that her sister is battling many demons, making interactions with her especially difficult

When we reached out to the mother who posted this story, u/IsEveryoneOkorNo, she kindly agreed to tell us more about what her relationship with her sister has been like before this incident.

According to the Redditor, they have always had an on-and-off relationship. The trouble started, as the user recalls, in high school. “Her eating disorder started in high school and that’s when she started being really cruel to me,” u/IsEveryoneOkorNo tells Bored Panda.

“She also had a lot of false memories that she will go on rants about, and it’s difficult to listen to because I know for a fact these things didn’t happen, but then she just attacks and blames, which is very triggering.”

According to the Redditor, her sister also struggles with mental health issues and dependence on substances. “She’s just a very difficult person now,” the single mother explains. “She lives with her sugar daddy, and they have a very toxic relationship as well. It’s very violent on both ends.”

Her current living situation allows the mother to take care of her daughter better

The comments under her post varied: some people showed support, urging the mother to stay strong and lower contact with her sister. Others, however, didn’t understand how she could live like this and allow her daughter to be around such toxic people.

But such is life; we sometimes have to experience the bad to get to the good. The Redditor clarifies why, at 38, she still lives with her mother. “A lot of people still live at home, this isn’t a choice for me, it’s this or be homeless, I guess. Or live in a very unsafe, violent neighborhood.”

“I’d rather live in an ‘unsafe’ environment that I can predict rather than one with strangers [who] could do much worse than my mother’s lack of empathy and accountability,” u/IsEveryoneOkorNo admits.

Although the living conditions are less than ideal for her daughter, the mother tries to look at them as educational. “[I’m] teaching her what type of behavior is safe and unsafe, right and wrong, etc. My daughter communicates with me very well [about] what she needs, what upsets her, and what makes her happy.”

The mother talks about her daughter with much pride. “She’s a very kind and happy kid, she does well at school despite having severe ADHD. She goes out of her way to be kind to other kids, especially younger kids, and she’s always sharing whether it’s her toys or snacks.”

“Parents will compliment how kind she is and thank her for being kind to their kids, and that makes me feel like I’m doing something right despite the dysfunction that our home goes through from time to time,” the mom tells us.

She feels blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with her daughter. Living with her mother allows her to do that, not having to constantly work paycheck to paycheck. “I keep my daughter safe and I don’t have to worry if she’s safe in a stranger’s care. She was going to an afterschool program for a while so I could work longer, but then they lost her, found her after searching for 45 minutes, but that was enough for me to say never again.”

The Redditor hopes to give her daughter the emotionally stable childhood that she never had

u/IsEveryoneOkorNo admits that she doesn’t want her daughter to have no contact with family members, but will always prioritize the girl’s safety. “I have been through a lot as a child and as an adult, and these experiences help me keep my daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally safe, no matter who is trying to wreak havoc,” she says. “My daughter loves her aunt, which is conflicting for me because although I’m sure it’s there somewhere, I just don’t love my sister the way I used to.”

“I have a huge wall up with her, I can’t trust her with anything because anything said to her is always used against me. I don’t want my daughter to not have any family but having no one is better than unsafe family.”

The Redditor is also trying to break generational patterns. She wants her daughter to have the emotional stability she herself never experienced with her own parents. “I’m not perfect but I always mend and repair with my daughter if we have a tough day. That’s something I never got as a kid with either of my parents and I still don’t,” the mom admits.

“Both my parents are narcissists with mental illness. I see a therapist regularly. I am doing my best with what I have. And my daughter is a happy kid, that’s all that matters to me, is that she’s happy, fed, safe, and thriving. And she’s all those things. Even with selfish family members.”

In the comments, the woman shared more about how their mother keeps enabling her sister

Comment discussing a woman with mental health issues described as fragile and toxic in a family dispute over treatment.

Comment thread discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the impact on the family dynamics.

Comment discussing woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught, describing family conflict and bullying behavior.

Text conversation showing a woman accused of stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Commenters urged her to cut contact with the toxic sister, both for her and her daughter’s sake

Commenter sharing advice on retrieving stolen items, suggesting video call to catch woman who stole niece’s skirt.

Comment discussing how an adult could fit into a 5-year-old's clothing in a theft and lying incident.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman who steals her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies when caught.

Reddit user comments on woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught in a heated discussion.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment stating advice about hiding an item related to a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Commenter reacting to woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed online discussion.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying about it.

Screenshot of a social media comment suggesting to lock bedrooms when dealing with a niece’s stolen skirt incident.

Screenshot of a social media comment about a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught.

Woman looking guilty after stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Text message conversation mentioning a 36-year-old woman fitting into a skirt made for a 5-year-old niece.

Comment discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and questioning the benefits of the relationship.

Comment text on a white background about a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught.

Screenshot of a woman lying after stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt, discussing the incident online.

Text post from user flattest_pony_ever saying they should have left a note with one sequin attached saying you are not welcome here anymore.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman involved in stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying about it.

Comment expressing frustration about a woman stealing a skirt from her 5-year-old niece and lying when caught.

Comment text discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the concern about recovering it.

Comment text discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the consequences that followed.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught.

Comment criticizing a woman who stole her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lied when caught, discussing family responsibility.

Reddit comment discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when confronted.

Comment discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the justification for retrieving the child’s property.

Comment discussing woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and the family dynamics involved in the situation.

Commenter Evil_Sharkey discussing a woman stealing a 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a family dispute involving a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt.

Comment text discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Comment discussing a woman who steals her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lies when confronted about it.

Comment on forum discussing woman stealing 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and lying when caught red-handed.

Screenshot of a detailed online forum comment discussing a woman stealing her 5-year-old niece’s skirt and related family advice.

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