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Man Travels 8 Hours To His Mom’s, Walks Out On Her After She Shows Favoritism To Her ‘Adoptive’ Neighbor
Once we’re older, there comes a sweet realization that family isn’t someone that is related to us by blood, but very often it ends up being people that are close to our hearts and who, over time, show that they are there for us. This is a frequent case when people don’t get along with their actual family and seek recognition and love somewhere else. But what if you found out that someone from your close family or relatives favors someone else instead of you? Having this in mind, the Reddit user decided to share his family situation in order to understand if what he did could be justified. The story that received almost 16k upvotes soon drew other internet users’ attention, encouraging them to share their own points of view on the matter.
More Info: Reddit
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It’s believed that we can’t choose our family, but with time, those who stand by our side become as important as blood relatives
Image credits: Brian Evans (not the actual image)
The author of the post shared that his mom always wanted to have a daughter but instead raised two sons and now has six grandsons. For this reason, she became very close with her neighbor and her daughter, who she met 16 years ago when the woman in question moved in with her 2-year-old daughter. Since then, OP’s mother has become like a family member to them, helping to take care of the little girl that the author of the post called Lily. Their relationship soon escalated to a point where the woman became their “adoptive” mom and grandmother, spoiling Lily with elaborate gifts such as a trip to Europe when she graduated school. While their relationship might seem like something from a movie, the author of the post noticed that his mom started showing favoritism.
Reddit user decided to share a situation after which he had to leave his mom’s house
He shared that over time, his mom became very close with her neighbor and her daughter
Image credits: u/aitaneighborscar
The man shared that while Lily received a trip to Europe, the woman’s grandsons got a $300 check. It was also known that the woman shared some knowledge about her French heritage with the girl, as well as her secret recipes, and even paid her private school fees. While there is nothing bad about helping out her neighbors and maintaining this close relationship, the last straw that broke the camel’s back happened when the man decided to stay for a few days at his mom’s so that she could spend some time with her grandsons.
The woman started spending so much time with her neighbors that the man noticed she started favoring them over her own kids and grandkids
Image credits: u/aitaneighborscar
One of the examples was that the woman took her neighbor’s daughter to Europe while leaving her grandsons with a check for $300
Image credits: u/aitaneighborscar
OP shared that they traveled 8 hours to see his mom for a few days. As dinner time was approaching, the woman asked her son to move his car out of her driveway so that Lily could park there, because it’s her spot. The man then said that since he was already parked, the neighbor could just leave her car in the street, but his mom said that since the spot in her driveway is Lily’s, he needed to move his car. This is when the author of the post decided to get his and his sons’ things and leave the house altogether. After this incident, the woman tried to contact her son and ask him to come back home, but he disagreed. However, this whole situation made him re-think his actions.
The situation that made everything even more clear happened when the author of the post came to visit his mom and brought his sons with him
Image credits: Christian Kitchens (not the actual image)
Not knowing what to do, OP decided to share his story with strangers online who expressed their support and were quite interested in the story, asking for some additional information about his and his mom’s relationship. It didn’t take long for users online to understand that his mom is playing favorites and that it isn’t healthy behavior. What is your opinion on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
The man left his car in the driveway, but not for long, because his mom asked him to move it as it was her neighbor’s daughter’s spot
Image credits: u/aitaneighborscar
It’s funny to think that there are a lot of people who try to limit their contact with their neighbors or that there are people who are on quite difficult terms with someone that lives right next to them. But being friends with your neighbors might seem like a convenient thing. So how can you become a better neighbor and perhaps someone’s friend? According to OneRoof, an app that helps people who live in the same building find each other and become friends, everything starts from not being shy and introducing yourself to others. Once they know you, don’t forget to be considerate and in case you’re planning some party or gathering, let your neighbors know that there might be some louder noises coming from your apartment.
Instead of doing what his mom asked, the man took his kids and left the house
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual image)
To continue being an understandable and good neighbor, it’s important to address any issues with your neighbor immediately as well as respect their privacy and space. By being an attentive and respectful neighbor who understands certain boundaries but is there to give a helping hand, you can easily become someone’s new friend.
After a while, the man started doubting his actions, so he shared what happened on Reddit
A lot of people became interested in the situation wanting to find out more
Most users agreed that the man wasn’t in the wrong and that his mom was showing clear signs of favoritism
Image credits: u/aitaneighborscar
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What do you think ?
Yeah, okay. 3 years ago
If you read the comments, one of them is kind of telling: he answers a question that Lily helps his mom out all the time, while he and his son live 8 hours away. So essentially Lily has become a sort of step daughter, and is looking out for his mom all the time. Which tells me a few things: he is unnecessarily jealous, and he doesn't appreciate the kindness of someone else being there for his 60- year old mother while he isn't. So if it's "Lily's Spot", he's being ungracious and petty. HOWEVER. Since he lives 8 hours away m that means he's a GUEST. Guests get priority, because they are only visiting for a short time. I'm surprised a gal from Italy forgot this. VERDICT: Everybody Sucks Here. Grace on BOTH SIDES would have made this completely unnecessary.
Libstak 3 years ago
Also the mum may have gone to Europe with Lily but that does not necessarily mean she paid for her, Lilys parents may well have paid. The son admits he only knows they went because of pics on Facebook, so was he ever willing to take his mumtravelling with him? If not then shut up about her having a life outside of the 2 or 3 times a year he bothers to even see her.
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Marina Rocha 3 years ago
People think their blood trumps all. Lilly is like a relative to her. They should treat her like a niece/sister. And she is doing the bulk of the heavy lifting. I would be glad for Lilly, not the other way around.
Rae H 3 years ago
I agree. I have a sister who was “adopted” into my family as an adult. She helped out with my late aunt in her last year. She visits my grandmother often. She helps my parents with their volunteer projects. Even though she’s not blood and didn’t grow up with us, she’s still my sister. Our family has done a lot for her, but she’s done a lot for our family.
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BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
There is a lot of info missing since this isn't just over a parking spot. If OP feels so slighted he didn't learn his parents' cultures and languages, why didn't he learn them? My kids are multinational and speak (mostly so far) both languages. Did his parents do the "This is America, we speak English here!" thing that many immigrant parents did that has mostly faded away? There is a lot of resentment on OP's side, I get it, but they aren't discussing it with the right person: their mom. Honestly, it would be great to have a guided talk with a family therapist to work on mending relationships
Weak Knees 3 years ago (edited)
Surely OP has heard for years that his mom wanted a daughter, but had two sons instead. Then she was equally disappointed that her grandchildren are all male. I've also noticed that grandma doesn't seem to have made any trips to see her children/grandchildren but her sons have made the effort. Unless she's handicapped (it doesn't appear she's financially strapped) I don't see why she's not visiting her family. With the obvious favoritism and and disappointment, I think OP just had it and wasn't going to let his sons being treated as second thoughts.
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Raabh Aquino 3 years ago
Everyone is commenting about the trip to Europe but what was clear to me is that the son's hurt runs deep after realizing his own mom didn't bother to teach him and his brother about her own culture as she did Lily. Lily may not be blood, but the mom treats her better than her own blood and flesh. Favoritism is still favoritism, it still hurts and the mom showed clearly she considers Lily much more than her own son. For her, it was just a parking spot, for her son it was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
John 3 years ago
Mother got a pseudo daughter, all it cost her is her relationship with her son and grandsons. She'll proably spin it as "they just overreacted over a parking spot" ignoring this is just sum total of sheer amount of disrespect she shown them.
Noltha 3 years ago (edited)
Is Lily the reason why he visits his mother only 1-2 times a year? The girl is around the mother every day, while the son moved away. It is so strange, that the mother feels more close to Lily than to the son? Who, additionally, puts emphasis on the amount of money she spent on his family or Lily, as he would already inherited it.
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Rahul Pawa 3 years ago (edited)
OP's mom's priorities are telling. When her grandsons who she only sees once or twice a year come to visit, she's instantly thinking about the parking situation. What I read into that is that her grandsons aren't important to her. I'd be interested to know why Lily parking in the driveway instead of the street is so important to her.
AffenpinscherMom 3 years ago
Clearly he has quite a bit of resentment because that seems like a drastic reaction to such a ridiculous request. I can understand how that would make him feel some sort of way but he should have just communicated that her and even told her he wasn't going to move his car. I may get some down votes and that's fine because as much as I agree his mom's request was inconsiderate, I think he was selfish and deprived his kids of spending time with their grandma.
bad.penny 3 years ago
…deprived his sons from time with a grand-mom that would've rather had a daughter and granddaughters….and shows it every chance she gets🤷♂️.
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Dave Martin 3 years ago
The mother can absolutely maintain a relationship with Lily without offering her perks that she doesn't even give to her own grandchildren. She could have very easily asked if one of her grandchildren wanted to go to Europe with her. Also, I don't see anything wrong with allowing Lily to use her extra parking spot but she should have not GIVEN that spot to Lily. Lily should have found another spot to park knowing family was going visit for a few days. That's on Lily. I come from a family where my mother obviously favors my brother. It's not healthy. All in all I feel the grandma is in the wrong. I didn't read anywhere that grandma is offering to take her grandkids ANYWHERE, let alone Europe.
Adam L 3 years ago
I had to read the open again. It says "Some backstory" but should have been "Barely any backstory". How was he and his brother treated growing up? Why didn't his mom teach them the native language if she was so proud of it? How were they treated when they had her grandsons? How did she treat them after OP's father died? I feel like I just stepped into the middle of a Star Wars marathon the first time through and Darth Vader just told Luke that he was his father...... what happened leading up to this????? If they faced years of motherly neglect, than NTA, but if she always provided for them and this was an isolated incident, than the European trip could have just been "Thank you for being there for me while my sons are taking care of their own families". Not enough information provided is my judgment until I read more.
April P 3 years ago
I have a psych degree, read the post a few of times to make sure I completely understood. I find it more interesting how people created their elaborate dialogues which are very bias way to justify their replies. There's a few family issues going on. The OP is insightful enough to question his behavior which is what the post is about not the other items people seem to want to address. Enjoyed your star wars analogy. I'm very visual great picture in my brain now. I noticed you used the word neglect. I would say she probably had an indifference towards her sons which they're subconsciously aware of. As an adult he probably noticed the same behavior towards the grandsons. Your take on the Lily vacation is a interesting view on the situation. I think that is what brought it home for him & the parking spot as too much. I do question the relationship with Lily. Even if close, it seems off to me. Most wouldn't accept such monetary gifts for their child.
Load More Replies... digitalin 3 years ago
Interesting that the responses quoted here are so one-sided. In the post, LOTS of people sided with the mom because family is about more than blood. Lily can be family without it being on paper. She's helping out the mom every day, not just "some neighbor kid". Obviously opinions were mixed, but this summary definitely chooses a side.
SweetsEve 3 years ago
I think bored panda draws a younger audience and that changes the point of view dynamic. I don't think the son was an AH but I also don't think there is anything wrong with his mother deeply connecting with the family next door and playing a grandma role to a girl she's obviously watched grow up. Also when you consider the son is the adult parent or a boy her age it comes off weird that he would feel any kind of competition with the girl who has been a child for as long as he's been an adult. I mean, is it favoritism or is it just a hat his mom is looking out for a young girl and treating her like a child while treating her son like a grown man. It may be she didn't want her to park in the street because she's lady.
Load More Replies... Yeah, okay. 3 years ago
If you read the comments, one of them is kind of telling: he answers a question that Lily helps his mom out all the time, while he and his son live 8 hours away. So essentially Lily has become a sort of step daughter, and is looking out for his mom all the time. Which tells me a few things: he is unnecessarily jealous, and he doesn't appreciate the kindness of someone else being there for his 60- year old mother while he isn't. So if it's "Lily's Spot", he's being ungracious and petty. HOWEVER. Since he lives 8 hours away m that means he's a GUEST. Guests get priority, because they are only visiting for a short time. I'm surprised a gal from Italy forgot this. VERDICT: Everybody Sucks Here. Grace on BOTH SIDES would have made this completely unnecessary.
Libstak 3 years ago
Also the mum may have gone to Europe with Lily but that does not necessarily mean she paid for her, Lilys parents may well have paid. The son admits he only knows they went because of pics on Facebook, so was he ever willing to take his mumtravelling with him? If not then shut up about her having a life outside of the 2 or 3 times a year he bothers to even see her.
Load More Replies... Marina Rocha 3 years ago
People think their blood trumps all. Lilly is like a relative to her. They should treat her like a niece/sister. And she is doing the bulk of the heavy lifting. I would be glad for Lilly, not the other way around.
Rae H 3 years ago
I agree. I have a sister who was “adopted” into my family as an adult. She helped out with my late aunt in her last year. She visits my grandmother often. She helps my parents with their volunteer projects. Even though she’s not blood and didn’t grow up with us, she’s still my sister. Our family has done a lot for her, but she’s done a lot for our family.
Load More Replies... BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
There is a lot of info missing since this isn't just over a parking spot. If OP feels so slighted he didn't learn his parents' cultures and languages, why didn't he learn them? My kids are multinational and speak (mostly so far) both languages. Did his parents do the "This is America, we speak English here!" thing that many immigrant parents did that has mostly faded away? There is a lot of resentment on OP's side, I get it, but they aren't discussing it with the right person: their mom. Honestly, it would be great to have a guided talk with a family therapist to work on mending relationships
Weak Knees 3 years ago (edited)
Surely OP has heard for years that his mom wanted a daughter, but had two sons instead. Then she was equally disappointed that her grandchildren are all male. I've also noticed that grandma doesn't seem to have made any trips to see her children/grandchildren but her sons have made the effort. Unless she's handicapped (it doesn't appear she's financially strapped) I don't see why she's not visiting her family. With the obvious favoritism and and disappointment, I think OP just had it and wasn't going to let his sons being treated as second thoughts.
Load More Replies... Raabh Aquino 3 years ago
Everyone is commenting about the trip to Europe but what was clear to me is that the son's hurt runs deep after realizing his own mom didn't bother to teach him and his brother about her own culture as she did Lily. Lily may not be blood, but the mom treats her better than her own blood and flesh. Favoritism is still favoritism, it still hurts and the mom showed clearly she considers Lily much more than her own son. For her, it was just a parking spot, for her son it was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
John 3 years ago
Mother got a pseudo daughter, all it cost her is her relationship with her son and grandsons. She'll proably spin it as "they just overreacted over a parking spot" ignoring this is just sum total of sheer amount of disrespect she shown them.
Noltha 3 years ago (edited)
Is Lily the reason why he visits his mother only 1-2 times a year? The girl is around the mother every day, while the son moved away. It is so strange, that the mother feels more close to Lily than to the son? Who, additionally, puts emphasis on the amount of money she spent on his family or Lily, as he would already inherited it.
Load More Replies... Rahul Pawa 3 years ago (edited)
OP's mom's priorities are telling. When her grandsons who she only sees once or twice a year come to visit, she's instantly thinking about the parking situation. What I read into that is that her grandsons aren't important to her. I'd be interested to know why Lily parking in the driveway instead of the street is so important to her.
AffenpinscherMom 3 years ago
Clearly he has quite a bit of resentment because that seems like a drastic reaction to such a ridiculous request. I can understand how that would make him feel some sort of way but he should have just communicated that her and even told her he wasn't going to move his car. I may get some down votes and that's fine because as much as I agree his mom's request was inconsiderate, I think he was selfish and deprived his kids of spending time with their grandma.
bad.penny 3 years ago
…deprived his sons from time with a grand-mom that would've rather had a daughter and granddaughters….and shows it every chance she gets🤷♂️.
Load More Replies... Dave Martin 3 years ago
The mother can absolutely maintain a relationship with Lily without offering her perks that she doesn't even give to her own grandchildren. She could have very easily asked if one of her grandchildren wanted to go to Europe with her. Also, I don't see anything wrong with allowing Lily to use her extra parking spot but she should have not GIVEN that spot to Lily. Lily should have found another spot to park knowing family was going visit for a few days. That's on Lily. I come from a family where my mother obviously favors my brother. It's not healthy. All in all I feel the grandma is in the wrong. I didn't read anywhere that grandma is offering to take her grandkids ANYWHERE, let alone Europe.
Adam L 3 years ago
I had to read the open again. It says "Some backstory" but should have been "Barely any backstory". How was he and his brother treated growing up? Why didn't his mom teach them the native language if she was so proud of it? How were they treated when they had her grandsons? How did she treat them after OP's father died? I feel like I just stepped into the middle of a Star Wars marathon the first time through and Darth Vader just told Luke that he was his father...... what happened leading up to this????? If they faced years of motherly neglect, than NTA, but if she always provided for them and this was an isolated incident, than the European trip could have just been "Thank you for being there for me while my sons are taking care of their own families". Not enough information provided is my judgment until I read more.
April P 3 years ago
I have a psych degree, read the post a few of times to make sure I completely understood. I find it more interesting how people created their elaborate dialogues which are very bias way to justify their replies. There's a few family issues going on. The OP is insightful enough to question his behavior which is what the post is about not the other items people seem to want to address. Enjoyed your star wars analogy. I'm very visual great picture in my brain now. I noticed you used the word neglect. I would say she probably had an indifference towards her sons which they're subconsciously aware of. As an adult he probably noticed the same behavior towards the grandsons. Your take on the Lily vacation is a interesting view on the situation. I think that is what brought it home for him & the parking spot as too much. I do question the relationship with Lily. Even if close, it seems off to me. Most wouldn't accept such monetary gifts for their child.
Load More Replies... digitalin 3 years ago
Interesting that the responses quoted here are so one-sided. In the post, LOTS of people sided with the mom because family is about more than blood. Lily can be family without it being on paper. She's helping out the mom every day, not just "some neighbor kid". Obviously opinions were mixed, but this summary definitely chooses a side.
SweetsEve 3 years ago
I think bored panda draws a younger audience and that changes the point of view dynamic. I don't think the son was an AH but I also don't think there is anything wrong with his mother deeply connecting with the family next door and playing a grandma role to a girl she's obviously watched grow up. Also when you consider the son is the adult parent or a boy her age it comes off weird that he would feel any kind of competition with the girl who has been a child for as long as he's been an adult. I mean, is it favoritism or is it just a hat his mom is looking out for a young girl and treating her like a child while treating her son like a grown man. It may be she didn't want her to park in the street because she's lady.
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