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Mom Has Been Lying To Son About His “Terrible” Dad For Years, He Ends Up Discovering The Truth
Nobody likes being fooled, sure, but having the wool pulled over your eyes by a parent takes things to the next level. We’re not talking Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy lies here – point your mind more in the direction of the turn-your-world-upside-down kind.
One guy turned to an online community to vent after discovering his mom had lied to him for his whole life about his dad running out on her while she was pregnant. After getting his name out of her, he tracked the man down, and even more was revealed.
More info: Reddit
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Growing up without a parent is never ideal, especially if you never got to know them, but being lied to about them takes things to the next level
Image credits: TriangleProd / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One guy, who was raised to believe his dad ran out on his mom when she was pregnant with him, never heard the end of what a piece of trash his father was
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Over the years his curiosity about the missing man gradually grew, until he got his name from his mom and started poking around Facebook
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Before long, he’d found his father, a lawyer, married with 4 kids, and, after a few days, sent him a long message and got an instant reply and an invite to FaceTime
Image credits: Muted-Knowledge-1624
His overjoyed dad revealed that his mom told him she’d had a miscarriage and he never knew he existed, so now the guy has nothing but hate for her and went online to rage
Growing up, it was always just the original poster, (OP) and his mom, plus a horror story. His dad, according to mom and the entire family, was a cowardly villain who vanished after pregnancy. The insults never stopped. With no father around to contradict the narrative, OP believed it all, assuming the missing man was irredeemably awful.
Years later, OP’s curiosity finally won, thanks to a random TikTok post giving it a nudge over the line. After getting a name from his mom, a little time on Facebook did the rest. There he was… an older mirror image of OP, a lawyer, married with four kids. A nervous message led to a reply, FaceTime tears, and then a shocking revelation.
OP’s dad explained he’d been told there was a miscarriage and broke down apologizing, saying he’d wanted to stay. Well, meeting in person meant choking hugs and instant bonding. Since then, his dad has gone all in with daily calls, proud introductions, surprise holidays, and paying off student debt without even being asked.
Now, OP’s distancing himself from his mom, furious over decades of lies and a stolen relationship. To him, this wasn’t just confusion – it was complete theft. A lifetime with his father lost? Forgiveness for his mom just feels impossible right now.
Imagine missing out on a whole lifetime of love because someone you thought you could trust lied to you about someone you actually could. So, what’s the best way to cope with anger? And should OP try to forgive his mom?
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Dealing with anger (and OP’s dealing with actual hatred) toward a parent can feel like wrestling a tornado in flip-flops. Experts at VeryWellMind recommend creating space before reacting. Breathing, walking away, and naming triggers all help you respond, not explode.
According to Psychology Today, forgiveness and reflection help you heal for yourself, not the parent. Mindfulness, reframing old stories, and therapy can uncover grief beneath rage, and processing it gives you freedom.
OP’s finding it hard to find reasons to forgive, but there are actually plenty. Science has proven it’s good for your brain and body. Studies link forgiveness to lower stress hormones, healthier hearts, better sleep, and improved levels of overall life satisfaction.
“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., from The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Not the best news for OP.
Let’s hope he can find a place in his life for his mom sooner rather than later. Holding onto his hatred for her is only going to eat him up in the long run and that energy would be much better spent bonding with his dad, right?
What’s your take? Should OP ice out his mom for good, or be the bigger person and find a way to forgive her? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers said the guy’s mom hadn’t just lied to him, she’d also committed an act of pure and unforgivable cruelty and didn’t deserve his forgiveness
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Nikki Sevven 4 days ago
My ex-husband actually was a complete piece of shît, and I still never shît-talked him to our daughter. Even though he kicked us out when she was 7mo. Even though he only visited her 3 times in 3 years. Even though he only paid child support when the law caught up with him. Even though she graciously granted him contact when she turned 18, and he stalked her and threatened both of us. I told her the truth when she was old enough to hear it, but did not convey any of my emotions. I wanted her to make up her own mind.
Sparky Hughes 5 days ago
I had to forgive (not reconcile..very LC) because of the lies she said about my dad. I was estranged during my late teens and 20s. I was livid when I found the truth. She was the narcissist and I was a good girl. But she was horrible to me and I was the black sheep. I didn’t realize until I started talking to my dad as to why. I was like him in so many ways.
Lyone Fein 4 days ago
OP needs help to process through his feelings, either from a therapist or from another trusted objective adult. It is never a good idea to make big relationship decisions in the heat of intense emotions. It could take years to work through the anger towards his mother. Although her response to his questions does not sound promising, and actually sounds immature and self centered,, after 5 or 10 years without her child she may change her tune.
Nikki Sevven 4 days ago
My ex-husband actually was a complete piece of shît, and I still never shît-talked him to our daughter. Even though he kicked us out when she was 7mo. Even though he only visited her 3 times in 3 years. Even though he only paid child support when the law caught up with him. Even though she graciously granted him contact when she turned 18, and he stalked her and threatened both of us. I told her the truth when she was old enough to hear it, but did not convey any of my emotions. I wanted her to make up her own mind.
Sparky Hughes 5 days ago
I had to forgive (not reconcile..very LC) because of the lies she said about my dad. I was estranged during my late teens and 20s. I was livid when I found the truth. She was the narcissist and I was a good girl. But she was horrible to me and I was the black sheep. I didn’t realize until I started talking to my dad as to why. I was like him in so many ways.
Lyone Fein 4 days ago
OP needs help to process through his feelings, either from a therapist or from another trusted objective adult. It is never a good idea to make big relationship decisions in the heat of intense emotions. It could take years to work through the anger towards his mother. Although her response to his questions does not sound promising, and actually sounds immature and self centered,, after 5 or 10 years without her child she may change her tune.
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