Mom Invites Principal To Go Shopping After Her Daughter Violates School’s Ridiculous Dress Code
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School dress codes have been igniting debates between parents, students, and staff for decades, but never more so than in recent years. When Dr. Catherine Pearlman’s daughter was reprimanded at her school for wearing shorts that ‘didn’t come all the way down to her fingertips,’ she decided to write the principal a scathing letter that is now going gloriously viral.
Pearlman, a social worker originally from Long Island, New York, initially published her letter on NBC News’ TODAY Parenting Team community blog, and has already received over 400 upvotes, as well as thousands of likes and shares from other websites. Her daughter, 13 years old, was subjected to a practice adopted by most public schools – banning shorts that aren’t longer than a girl’s fingers. Can we talk about how problematic this is for a second?
As if it isn’t bad enough that girls are more likely to be penalized by the dress code than boys every time, they’re often made to feel responsible for its existence. Baring their shoulders, legs, and midriffs is viewed as a sexual distraction and provocation to male students and teachers, which basically teaches girls that their bodies are inherently sexual objects that must be covered. This mom challenged the system head first, and we just wish we could see the principal’s reaction. Read the entire letter below, and weigh in with your opinion at the end!
This 13-year-old girl was dress-coded by her school for wearing shorts that didn’t come down past her fingertips
Her mom, outraged, decided to pen a scathing open letter to the school principal over the incident
2 days in a row? Seriously? If you think this mama bear was done there, wait til you see what came next…
She decided the best way to address the issue was to write a letter:
That’s right – this beautiful young girl’s body is not a sexual object, no matter what she’s wearing
The well-spoken mom received an outpouring of support from others also fed up with antiquated dress codes
What do you think? Have you or your child ever tangled with the infamous school dress code? Tell us below!
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First of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's bullshit that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Oh don't misunderstand me please! It is really BS, I just wanted to point that out, this finger tip top rule can't be universal because as you see I 'm 168 cms tall, I have short arms, small hands and my finger tops bearly reaching under my butts. So in one way I would be ok because it would be easy to find really short shorts, because short arms, but I really don't think that would be an appropriate wear. So I think this rule is incredibly stupid AND as you both have mentioned the reason behind it is even more stupid. And it's kinda unbelievable for me, since in my country dress code is not a strict thing.
Although I agree with the second part, according to this finger top rule well I could wear shorts what bearly cover my butt. No, I'm not a midget :-) so I would say she has long arms / fingers.
The finger tip rule doesn't work for everyone I'm 5 foot 6 and my mom is 5 foot 8 i have longer arms then she does. Every body type is different so they need to find a new way to regulated what is acceptable in schools.
Thank you Dynamine.
well I would have to wear shorts over 1/2 way down my thighs because that is where my fingers end so I would always be in trouble
Hey Robert, your village called. They said they're looking for their idiot.
The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Shorts revealing butt cheeks, Yoga pants cameltoe and Butt cracks have become very common. The current trend is just taking it too far. At a picnic a 25yr old was wearing a mini n jumping around...revealing her underpants. My 4 yr old son was giggling and saying 'ewww'. Shall we send my 4yr old son to male hormone control counselling?? Just like ur revealing clothes, male hormones in a young child can't be controlled. Lighten up. For example, U r enraged because of ur hormones. Are u a freaking gorilla?? Ur hormones is what makes u human. A boys hormones makes him a boy. Mind u.
Your comment is incredibly pathetic. No a four year old saying ew to panties isn't hormones, it's a four year old that still believes in cooties. Maybe you should turn your kid around if you don't want him seeing panties instead of shaming women. With your ridiculous attitude of "young Boys hormones can't be controlled" your going to raise a f*****g predator. Boys can control themselves just fine moron. F*****g sicko child you are.
This is different. Jumping around in a small skirt is different to a grown man telling a 13 year old not to wear yoga pants cause it could 'distract the boys'.
This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this retarded order.
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
"This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short" WHAAAAATTTTTT????????? This has to be a joke? More and more prude? America?
Of course someone had to bring the POTUS into a discussion about a school dress code. I can't believe 48 other people have such a crush on Donald Trump that they think about him constantly. I can't imagine anything having less to do with a the president than a school dress code, especially since this type of nonsense definitely predates the latest guy in office. *palmface*
Not sure why my comment got posted to you too. I sent it to BJ Sully above and it ended up here twice.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I have seen many girls that dress sexy when they are to young to understand how it will affect her. Then they wind up crying and humiliated later. However I agree that the shorts in the article are not inappropriate. Btw, I am NOT a trump supporter. I am a liberal democrat mother who sees reality for what it is.
If they did that and cried afterwards, it is a lesson learned. However the emphasis on not to excite the boys is going too far. Last time I looked despite hormones, boys can very well handle themselves, if taught correctly. If they can't, they should be referred to a therapist. In some countries men get excited by wrists and call the women hoes etc. That is what happens if you let this go on unchecked. After all dressing in a black tent with an eye slit has still not stopped some men attacking a woman because they can't help themselves. This shows clearly who should be concentrated on. The males.
First of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's bullshit that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Oh don't misunderstand me please! It is really BS, I just wanted to point that out, this finger tip top rule can't be universal because as you see I 'm 168 cms tall, I have short arms, small hands and my finger tops bearly reaching under my butts. So in one way I would be ok because it would be easy to find really short shorts, because short arms, but I really don't think that would be an appropriate wear. So I think this rule is incredibly stupid AND as you both have mentioned the reason behind it is even more stupid. And it's kinda unbelievable for me, since in my country dress code is not a strict thing.
Although I agree with the second part, according to this finger top rule well I could wear shorts what bearly cover my butt. No, I'm not a midget :-) so I would say she has long arms / fingers.
The finger tip rule doesn't work for everyone I'm 5 foot 6 and my mom is 5 foot 8 i have longer arms then she does. Every body type is different so they need to find a new way to regulated what is acceptable in schools.
Thank you Dynamine.
well I would have to wear shorts over 1/2 way down my thighs because that is where my fingers end so I would always be in trouble
Hey Robert, your village called. They said they're looking for their idiot.
The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Shorts revealing butt cheeks, Yoga pants cameltoe and Butt cracks have become very common. The current trend is just taking it too far. At a picnic a 25yr old was wearing a mini n jumping around...revealing her underpants. My 4 yr old son was giggling and saying 'ewww'. Shall we send my 4yr old son to male hormone control counselling?? Just like ur revealing clothes, male hormones in a young child can't be controlled. Lighten up. For example, U r enraged because of ur hormones. Are u a freaking gorilla?? Ur hormones is what makes u human. A boys hormones makes him a boy. Mind u.
Your comment is incredibly pathetic. No a four year old saying ew to panties isn't hormones, it's a four year old that still believes in cooties. Maybe you should turn your kid around if you don't want him seeing panties instead of shaming women. With your ridiculous attitude of "young Boys hormones can't be controlled" your going to raise a f*****g predator. Boys can control themselves just fine moron. F*****g sicko child you are.
This is different. Jumping around in a small skirt is different to a grown man telling a 13 year old not to wear yoga pants cause it could 'distract the boys'.
This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this retarded order.
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
"This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short" WHAAAAATTTTTT????????? This has to be a joke? More and more prude? America?
Of course someone had to bring the POTUS into a discussion about a school dress code. I can't believe 48 other people have such a crush on Donald Trump that they think about him constantly. I can't imagine anything having less to do with a the president than a school dress code, especially since this type of nonsense definitely predates the latest guy in office. *palmface*
Not sure why my comment got posted to you too. I sent it to BJ Sully above and it ended up here twice.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I have seen many girls that dress sexy when they are to young to understand how it will affect her. Then they wind up crying and humiliated later. However I agree that the shorts in the article are not inappropriate. Btw, I am NOT a trump supporter. I am a liberal democrat mother who sees reality for what it is.
If they did that and cried afterwards, it is a lesson learned. However the emphasis on not to excite the boys is going too far. Last time I looked despite hormones, boys can very well handle themselves, if taught correctly. If they can't, they should be referred to a therapist. In some countries men get excited by wrists and call the women hoes etc. That is what happens if you let this go on unchecked. After all dressing in a black tent with an eye slit has still not stopped some men attacking a woman because they can't help themselves. This shows clearly who should be concentrated on. The males.