Mom Shows The Transformation Of Her Daughter’s Room Before And After Cleaning, A Lot Of People Are Not Happy About It
Interview
You know how it goes: you’re in your teens, you eagerly dash off to school or to a sleepover (codenamed ‘Friday night bash at Joshua’s), with your room looking like the aftermath of a tsunami. But upon returning home, we’re greeted with a miraculous sight – a sparkling clean room that gives no indication of its prior state of mayhem.
Inspiring a plethora of memes and viral TikToks, moms being unable to resist entering kids’ sacred space and tidying up a thing or two is by any means not a new phenomenon. Recently, a TikToker by the name of Snowenne did the same for her daughter who was away on a school trip. And while 11.2 million views can be explained by its Zen-like quality – you know, POV of getting something done without moving a muscle – the viral videos have surprisingly divided the Internet, with some accusing the mother of spoiling her kid.
A video of a mom cleaning and uncluttering her teen’s messy room went viral with over 11 million views
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
Image credits: snowenne_cleans
@snowenne_cleans So…its that time again. Time to clean my daughters messy room #cleantok #daughtersroom #messyroomcheck #daughtersmessyroom #whysomessy @Snowenne | Cleaning Motivator @Snowenne | Cleaning Motivator ♬ Seven Nation Army
@snowenne_cleans Part 2 of cleaning my daughters messy room 🤷♀️ the results #cleantok #daughtersroom #messyroomcheck #daughtersmessyroom #part2 #snowennecleans @Snowenne | Cleaning Motivator @Snowenne | Cleaning Motivator ♬ Comedy Music – Nissa
There’s no one right way to teach your kid about tidying up
Parents understand the importance of prioritizing their battles when it comes to raising children and preserving their own sanity. You can’t tidy up your kids’ messes day after day, expecting that things will get better one day (or after puberty’s over). That’s pretty much the definition of ‘insanity,’ at least how Albert Einstein saw it. Considering that an average parent has to pick up after their kid 28 times a week, according to ClosetMaid’s research, it means that most parents are borderline insane.
The expectation for children to “clean their room”, however, is often seen as an essential aspect of effective parenting, grounded in logical reasoning. As Nancy Darling, a psychology professor, explained in her Psychology Today post: “Getting kids into the daily habit of doing a lightning sweep has a lot of advantages. It becomes part of their daily routine, a good habit to get into for life. They will also become used to calmer, more pleasant spaces, and start to initiate it themselves.”
Developing the skills to maintain a neat environment and take ownership of one’s messes, then, can be a complicated matter. Should you step in and order your little one to tidy up if they want to see their Playstation 5 controller or go out with friends on a Friday night? Perhaps you should not move a muscle and let them deal with it themselves, no matter how long it could take?
According to Kathy Lynn, a parenting speaker and author based in Vancouver, if parents can handle it, they should consider closing the door to their child’s room and letting go of what’s behind it. Furthermore, she suggests that parents should allow their children to take responsibility for their own rooms once they have been taught how to do so, typically around the age of seven. “A kid’s room should be their sanctuary; it should be the one place they can go that is theirs,” she told Today’s Parents.
“People can say what they want. I don’t see any issues with helping out your children when they are struggling”
“I was absolutely shocked the first time one of my daughter’s messy room videos went viral,” Snowenne, the mother responsible for the viral room transformation TikToks, who chose to keep her real name undisclosed, told Bored Panda in an email.
At the moment, both videos have amassed close to 12 million views combined, resulting in Snowenne’s most popular TikTok by far. “I think it gained a lot of traction because it is a messy room and because I was the one cleaning it, not her. People are quick to assume that she has never been taught how to clean (she has) and that she’s just a lazy kid.”
According to Snowenne, who simply “enjoys cleaning and helping motivate others to clean,” the assumption that she’s excessively pampering her daughter or conforming to the stereotype of a teenager incapable of maintaining their own room is wrong. “My daughter has always struggled with keeping her room clean and organized. She knows how to clean, but easily gets overwhelmed when faced with cleaning it,” she explained, adding that her daughter was “thrilled” to come back to a sparkling clean room after an exhausting school trip.
Meanwhile, research has already established a correlation between anxiety and untidy living spaces. It has been observed that clutter not only induces feelings of anxiety but also contributes to depression. And while the study focused on mothers living in cluttered environments, which results in elevated levels of cortisol, the stress hormone; living in a messy room implies that “a teenager’s nervous system might always be in a constant state of mild fight-or-flight response.”
“Should she be cleaning it? Yes. And she does when it’s not too out of hand. But when it gets to this point she just can’t so – I help. Because that’s what parents should be doing,” argued Snowenne. Although she wasn’t put off by negative responses to her videos, Snowenne thinks it says a lot about some of the parents and their parenting styles. “People can say what they want. I don’t see any issues with helping out your children when they are struggling.”
“To the parents that came over and shamed me and my daughter, I feel bad for them. Mainly for their children. Throwing away all of their belongings, kicking them out, and worse things are not the proper way of handling this situation either.”
Following its viral spread, the video amassed hundreds of mixed comments, encompassing both positive and less favorable sentiments
Many supported this mom, showering her with compliments that she’s a godsend
However, not everyone was on board with it
I don't care if you clean her room or not. but i personally would never show the inside of my kids private and safe haven detailed to the world. Imagine someone else showing pictures of your bedroom to the entire world!
I'm confused. Why in the heck was it necessary to make a documentary on this? Just clean it. Probably took a whole lot longer filming it. This is a case of seriously oversharing
“Look at what a great mom I am” And there’s passive aggressive in there, too.
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My mother would NEVER let me leave the house with a room like that. She wouldn’t even let it get to that point. But anyway, parents? Can we please stop putting children’s private lives on the internet?
Exactly! Unless the daughter is mentally ill or has a developmental disability, she's not going to learn anything from this except to resent her mother.
Load More Replies... I would hate this if I was the kid. I don't like people invading my privacy or touching my things, plus what if she accidentally threw away something the kid wanted to keep? (Not saying the kid necessarily hates it)
I thoroughly expected more of this sentiment from the [limited presentation of] comments. I would be HORRIFIED if my mom went through my private things like that. Great way to teach her she can't trust you to leave her stuff alone.
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The problems here are in the lessons being learned. (1) OP is teaching that daughter's actions have no consequences. Mommy will clean up whatever mess she makes. (2) OP is failing to teach daughter the concept of personal privacy and why it should be respected. OP not only went through all daughter's things, but also posted them online for the world to see. — Remember, the lessons you fail to teach your children will be taught them by society...and it'll be a hard lesson to learn.
The posting was definitely wrong. But I will say this, I was a really messy teenager. My grandmother cleaned it 1 time- no throwing anything away and I kept it clean after that. Specifically bc I did not want her going through my personal things. So it may actually be more of a consequence than we realize. Grandma was great about pointing out she'd seen my things. "I found such and such." Nothing illegal. But I sure didn't want her going through, and the judging, all my stuff. It worked.
Load More Replies... My daughter's room used to look like that. Turns out she had an executive function delay and would just see a big mess, get overwhelmed and have no idea how to tackle it. I made her a step by step chart. Ex. 1) pick up all trash and throw away in trash can 2) put any dishes in the kitchen sink 3) put dirty clothes in dirty clothes hamper etc. It really helped.
My parents would do something similar when I would go away for summer camp but I was like 8 or 9 and it was never that bad (it was like a deep spring cleaning task). But let me say, I would've been EMBARASSED if they documented it and put it online for everyone to see. I understand showing the before and after of painting furniture or refurnishing something but this was a bit much.
There are a lot worse things a mom can do to her kid than cleaning a messy room, but you aren't helping this kid out by not teaching her responsibility.. the point of a parent is to raise your children to be ready for the world.. learning basics like keeping your place clean isn't going to ruin a child's life.. if you never teach them responsibility then they grow up not knowing the basics and become adults that can't take care of themselves..of course there are exceptions to the rule but in general, you are doing a disservice to your daughter..
Why don't we have an edit button? I would never show my kids room on social media and I don't post pictures without permission. Tbf I don't take pictures that much so that probably helps
The app doesn't have an edit option, but if you access your account on the web browser it does. Annoying, I know.
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Of course, clean their rooms when they’re too little to do it themselves. But when they get to school age, ease them into it. Help them at first, show them the right way to clean. As they get older, and stronger and have more endurance, gradually wean them off you helping them, and let them do it themselves. My mother did this, and by the time I was 8 or 9, I was cleaning up after myself. When I was a teenager, I was shown how to do my laundry (you don’t want small children messing with the washer and dryer). By the time I was on my own, cleaning and doing laundry were established habits. My homes may not have been deep cleaned and entirely spotless, but they were tidy and reasonably clean—-what I always called “working person’s clean”, because I worked full time, and often moonlighted at additional part time jobs. I didn’t have the time, energy, or inclination to spring clean my house every damn day.
The cleaning is nice as long as there is consent from the child about what processions are removed and how things are redecorated. The child also needs to give permission for these pics to be posted online. That said, when I was depressed in my early 20s my dad was visiting for the holidays and cleaned my apartment while I was out, and it was one of the best Christmas presents he ever gave me.
Why does someone feel it's OK to diagnose ADHD? Can't someone just be messy these days without having to be mentally ill? The internet seems to have made everyone a doctor.
I can't work out if the mom just wanted attention for how great she tidied up her daughters room or if she knew it would start a debate on whether she should have cleaned it in the first place. Either way, the room might have been pretty darn messy but these are things that parents need to tackle every day, there's absolutely no need to share it with the world.
Sometimes we live in spaces like this because we don't think we deserve anything better. My husband was so confused when I moved in with him, because I keep our flat tidy, but my bedroom at my parents' house was a bombsite. I keep our flat tidy because he deserves a nice space. I guess I don't feel that way when it's just me.
I never thought about that before. That sounds kinda sad
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Picking your battles with kids is the best way to go. Messy room? Tell them twice to do it themselves. Third time? I'm going in. However, I would NEVER threaten to hide or throw away their possessions! That's being deliberately mean & bullying.
My daughter makes a mess in both her bedroom and dressing room / study room. Every weekend she cleans both rooms and the bathroom. If she asks for help from me she gets it. What she doesn’t get is me invading her privacy, taking pictures and posting them on social media. I told one of my friends about an ornamental item she had on her wall. They wanted to see it so I asked her permission to send a photograph before doing so. How can these children trust their parents to help them with their problems if they can’t even trust them not to shame them on social media just to make themselves look good?
I don't know if this is the right attitude, but it's how I learned to take care of my stuff, I didn't like my mom going through it. My siblings are taking much longer to learn this.
My mums rule was tidy the room and if it's on the floor when I check, it's going in the bin. We were not tidy kids lol
I don't care if you clean her room or not. but i personally would never show the inside of my kids private and safe haven detailed to the world. Imagine someone else showing pictures of your bedroom to the entire world!
I'm confused. Why in the heck was it necessary to make a documentary on this? Just clean it. Probably took a whole lot longer filming it. This is a case of seriously oversharing
“Look at what a great mom I am” And there’s passive aggressive in there, too.
Load More Replies... My mother would NEVER let me leave the house with a room like that. She wouldn’t even let it get to that point. But anyway, parents? Can we please stop putting children’s private lives on the internet?
Exactly! Unless the daughter is mentally ill or has a developmental disability, she's not going to learn anything from this except to resent her mother.
Load More Replies... I would hate this if I was the kid. I don't like people invading my privacy or touching my things, plus what if she accidentally threw away something the kid wanted to keep? (Not saying the kid necessarily hates it)
I thoroughly expected more of this sentiment from the [limited presentation of] comments. I would be HORRIFIED if my mom went through my private things like that. Great way to teach her she can't trust you to leave her stuff alone.
Load More Replies... The problems here are in the lessons being learned. (1) OP is teaching that daughter's actions have no consequences. Mommy will clean up whatever mess she makes. (2) OP is failing to teach daughter the concept of personal privacy and why it should be respected. OP not only went through all daughter's things, but also posted them online for the world to see. — Remember, the lessons you fail to teach your children will be taught them by society...and it'll be a hard lesson to learn.
The posting was definitely wrong. But I will say this, I was a really messy teenager. My grandmother cleaned it 1 time- no throwing anything away and I kept it clean after that. Specifically bc I did not want her going through my personal things. So it may actually be more of a consequence than we realize. Grandma was great about pointing out she'd seen my things. "I found such and such." Nothing illegal. But I sure didn't want her going through, and the judging, all my stuff. It worked.
Load More Replies... My daughter's room used to look like that. Turns out she had an executive function delay and would just see a big mess, get overwhelmed and have no idea how to tackle it. I made her a step by step chart. Ex. 1) pick up all trash and throw away in trash can 2) put any dishes in the kitchen sink 3) put dirty clothes in dirty clothes hamper etc. It really helped.
My parents would do something similar when I would go away for summer camp but I was like 8 or 9 and it was never that bad (it was like a deep spring cleaning task). But let me say, I would've been EMBARASSED if they documented it and put it online for everyone to see. I understand showing the before and after of painting furniture or refurnishing something but this was a bit much.
There are a lot worse things a mom can do to her kid than cleaning a messy room, but you aren't helping this kid out by not teaching her responsibility.. the point of a parent is to raise your children to be ready for the world.. learning basics like keeping your place clean isn't going to ruin a child's life.. if you never teach them responsibility then they grow up not knowing the basics and become adults that can't take care of themselves..of course there are exceptions to the rule but in general, you are doing a disservice to your daughter..
Why don't we have an edit button? I would never show my kids room on social media and I don't post pictures without permission. Tbf I don't take pictures that much so that probably helps
The app doesn't have an edit option, but if you access your account on the web browser it does. Annoying, I know.
Load More Replies... Of course, clean their rooms when they’re too little to do it themselves. But when they get to school age, ease them into it. Help them at first, show them the right way to clean. As they get older, and stronger and have more endurance, gradually wean them off you helping them, and let them do it themselves. My mother did this, and by the time I was 8 or 9, I was cleaning up after myself. When I was a teenager, I was shown how to do my laundry (you don’t want small children messing with the washer and dryer). By the time I was on my own, cleaning and doing laundry were established habits. My homes may not have been deep cleaned and entirely spotless, but they were tidy and reasonably clean—-what I always called “working person’s clean”, because I worked full time, and often moonlighted at additional part time jobs. I didn’t have the time, energy, or inclination to spring clean my house every damn day.
The cleaning is nice as long as there is consent from the child about what processions are removed and how things are redecorated. The child also needs to give permission for these pics to be posted online. That said, when I was depressed in my early 20s my dad was visiting for the holidays and cleaned my apartment while I was out, and it was one of the best Christmas presents he ever gave me.
Why does someone feel it's OK to diagnose ADHD? Can't someone just be messy these days without having to be mentally ill? The internet seems to have made everyone a doctor.
I can't work out if the mom just wanted attention for how great she tidied up her daughters room or if she knew it would start a debate on whether she should have cleaned it in the first place. Either way, the room might have been pretty darn messy but these are things that parents need to tackle every day, there's absolutely no need to share it with the world.
Sometimes we live in spaces like this because we don't think we deserve anything better. My husband was so confused when I moved in with him, because I keep our flat tidy, but my bedroom at my parents' house was a bombsite. I keep our flat tidy because he deserves a nice space. I guess I don't feel that way when it's just me.
I never thought about that before. That sounds kinda sad
Load More Replies... Picking your battles with kids is the best way to go. Messy room? Tell them twice to do it themselves. Third time? I'm going in. However, I would NEVER threaten to hide or throw away their possessions! That's being deliberately mean & bullying.
My daughter makes a mess in both her bedroom and dressing room / study room. Every weekend she cleans both rooms and the bathroom. If she asks for help from me she gets it. What she doesn’t get is me invading her privacy, taking pictures and posting them on social media. I told one of my friends about an ornamental item she had on her wall. They wanted to see it so I asked her permission to send a photograph before doing so. How can these children trust their parents to help them with their problems if they can’t even trust them not to shame them on social media just to make themselves look good?
I don't know if this is the right attitude, but it's how I learned to take care of my stuff, I didn't like my mom going through it. My siblings are taking much longer to learn this.
My mums rule was tidy the room and if it's on the floor when I check, it's going in the bin. We were not tidy kids lol
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