“Husband Of The Year”: People Cheer For Guy Who Gets Rid Of Overbearing MIL In Middle Of Night

There’s a lot of things new parents need, but perhaps the most common one is to feel less stress. The WHO reports that a whopping of 19.8% women even experience a mental disorder after childbirth. That’s why it’s important to keep new moms as stress-free as possible.

And this husband did just that. When his MIL came unannounced to stay with them and help, he noticed she was doing more harm than good. To protect his wife’s peace and wellbeing, he decided to pack the MIL’s bags and asked her to leave. After mixed reactions from the family, he decided to ask people online whether what he did was so out of line.

A MIL came to stay with new parents after their baby was born

New mom holding her baby while interacting with her mother-in-law in a home setting.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

But the husband noticed she was stressing out his wife more than actually helping

Text excerpt about a new mom’s high-risk pregnancy and her mother-in-law causing tension leading to conflict.

Text about wife’s mother visiting shortly after baby’s arrival, highlighting tension between new mom and mother-in-law.

Text excerpt describing a new mom reluctantly allowing her mother-in-law to stay, sensing tension as she notices issues.

MIL annoyed new mom by criticizing breastfeeding and baby care, leading to a late-night conflict and MIL ending up on the street.

Text message conversation screenshot showing a person expressing frustration after their wife burst into tears last night.

Text describing a middle-of-the-night scene where a new mom asks her mother-in-law to leave due to stress and disrespect.

Tired new mom sitting on bed beside sleeping baby, showing stress after conflict with mother-in-law at night.

Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt showing a new mom explaining how her mother-in-law annoyed her and ended up outside in the middle of the night.

Text discussing family conflict and considering whether to repair things with MIL after emotional actions by new mom.

Image credits: Mission_Muffin7467

Living with in-laws contributes to more mental health problems in new mothers

Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)

We may think that a grandparent staying during the postpartum period might do new parents some good. But, as this story illustrates, even help from the maternal grandmother might put on more stress than it’s supposed to relieve.

Researchers at Duke University also have found a similar tendency. In a 2014 study, they discovered that married and single mothers living in multigenerational households in the U.S. report higher rates of postpartum depression during the first year of their baby’s life.

It’s even more interesting that unmarried mothers living with one or more grandparents were less likely to develop depression.

Joy Piontak, the leading author of the study, said that the research presents a kind of chicken-and-egg question. Are the mothers more depressed because they require help from grandparents and worry about independence? Or are the relationships with parents and in-laws contributing to their depression?

Still, most new moms would rather their own mothers help them in the first months after the baby is born. Tensions with mothers-in-law tend to be higher than with their own mothers, as one Finnish study has found.

Grandparents can be of great help with a new baby, but they shouldn’t overstep

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

There’s a paradox in the grandparent-parent relationship after the arrival of a new baby. The parents might want advice and help from their experienced parents, but grandparents often overstep boundaries when they do.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Renée Miller argues that there’s a need to understand both sides. She says that often there is no malicious intent behind grandparents being too overbearing.

“Some grandparents want so desperately to help or to forge relationships with their grandchildren,” she explains. “They become over-involved, giving unsolicited advice in their efforts to spare the parents (or themselves) distress.”

“This can feel intrusive for the parents, who – especially in a vulnerable state – can receive grandparents’ actions or advice as criticism of the job they are doing.”

According to Miller, communication is key:

• Don’t make assumptions. This goes both ways. Parents need to ask if grandparents can help. Grandparents, in turn, should inquire if any help or advice is needed.
• No surprises. Miller explains how many of her clients who are new parents appreciate help from their own parents. What they appreciate even more are predictable time commitments. They’d like to know for how long and how often grandparents would like to visit.
• Parents have the final say in parenting decisions. Even if the grandparents have more experience and think they know more about parenting, they need to let the new parents discover their parenting style. “Parents crave respect for their parenting choices,” Miller points out.

The guy’s decision to kick the MIL out was met with overwhelming support: “Husband of the year right there”

Reddit comments discussing a middle-of-the-night situation involving a MIL annoying a new mom online.

Screenshot of a forum comment saying the wife was happy, related to MIL and new mom annoyance discussion.

Comment on a forum thread discussing MIL ending up on the street after annoying a new mom, highlighting mental health impact.

Text post on a social media forum with 407 points about a husband praised for handling a MIL annoying a new mom at night.

Comment text from an online forum discussing a MIL ending up on the street after annoying a new mom.

Comment on a forum post stating a man protects his family and stands firm, labeling the situation as definitely NTA.

Screenshot of a forum comment about a MIL annoying a new mom and being uninvited, advising to ignore drama and rest.

Comment highlighting support for prioritizing a wife over a difficult mother-in-law who annoys a new mom late at night.

Comment explaining how MIL annoyed new mom and was asked not to kiss baby, leading to MIL being asked to leave.

Text post discussing repairing the relationship with MIL after issues between new mom and MIL cause conflict.

Comment explaining why MIL annoyed new mom and was asked to leave unannounced after birth, protecting postpartum wife.

One netizen shared a similar story from the past

MIL causing tension with new mom leads to eviction from the house after overstaying and overwhelming family support.

People also praised the new dad for setting clear boundaries from the get-go

Online comment conversation showing a new mom and mother-in-law interaction after a disagreement at night.

Alt text: Online discussion about a new mom needing rest and baby cuddles after a baby, with advice for the dad.

Comment text on a white background discussing relationship struggles after a mother-in-law annoys a new mom.

Comment praising a man for supporting his wife and newborn after his mother-in-law annoys the new mom.

Comment on a parenting forum about a difficult experience with a mother-in-law annoying a new mom after childbirth.

Comment discussing setting clear boundaries with a difficult mother-in-law annoying a new mom late at night.

Comment by ChampionshipSad1586 praising someone as a national hero in an online discussion thread.

However, some pointed out that kicking the MIL out at night wasn’t very nice

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a MIL who ends up on the street after annoying a new mom.

Reddit comments discussing MIL ending up on the street in the middle of the night after annoying the new mom.

Comment about midnight not being a safe time to send someone home after annoying a new mom in the middle of the night.

Reddit comment discussing a mother-in-law conflict and the impact on a new mom’s happiness and child’s well-being.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!