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Woman Gets Hated On By In-Laws For Decades, They’re Shocked When She Doesn’t Let Them Move In
In-laws – can’t live with them, can’t banish them to another dimension. While some are kind and sweet, others treat you like their go-to punching bag for passive-aggressive comments, unsolicited opinions, and generational grudges. Between boundary bulldozing and a level of entitlement usually reserved for royalty, in-law relationships can get spicy.
“Mi casa es su casa” doesn’t apply when your mother-in-law suddenly decides your house is her retirement plan, especially if she’s been treating you like the evil stepmom from every Disney movie from day one, just like our Redditor’s mother-in-law did.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Some in-laws bring pie when they visit, others bring entitlement with a side of passive aggression
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman refuses to allow her in-laws to move in with her and her husband and take care of them after decades of being insulted and mistreated
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite building a family with her husband, the woman’s mother-in-law always excluded her and never truly saw her as a family
Image credits: freepik / Freeipk (not the actual photo)
The couple are planning to downsize for retirement, but the mother-in-law goes ballistic when she hears the news, as she was expecting to move in with them
Image credits: t_away_321654
The woman refuses to allow her in-laws to move in and care for them as they demand because of the way they treated her for 20 years
The OP (original poster) and her husband have been together since they were 16, got married young, had kids young, and now those kids are off living their best grown-up lives. They were finally ready to downsize, relax, and maybe even nap in peace. But the OP’s mother-in-law had other plans for them.
She and her father-in-law were planning to move in once the daughter went off to college. Say what now? Yup, apparently, the mother-in-law assumed, without a single conversation, might I add, that they’d be taken in because, culturally, it’s common for adult children to care for their elders.
Only, she forgot one teeny tiny detail: she treated her daughter-in-law like expired tofu for the past two decades. I’m talking cold shoulders at family events, deliberate exclusions from holidays, and even refusing to acknowledge the OP as part of the family.
So, what did she do? She went no contact with her in-laws and the extended crew, and hubby went low contact. Boundaries, people. They’re a beautiful thing.
Now, with both parents healthy, retired, financially stable, and clearly bored, the mother-in-law decided it was time to claim her prize – a fully furnished home and a free live-in caregiver in the shape of the OP. But our Redditor and her husband shut that fantasy down real quick, telling the in-laws to find somewhere else to live.
The mother-in-law did not take it well and started a family smear campaign, complete with guilt-tripping and name-calling. But the final cherry on this already ridiculous sundae? The mother-in-law calls her daughter-in-law a “white devil.” Charming, right?
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Some folks are just clueless that way. Or maybe just entitled? You don’t get to treat someone like an outsider for 20 years and then expect free room and board. Entitlement is that sneaky little mindset where someone genuinely believes the world and all the people in it owe them something.
It’s not just about wanting things; it’s about believing one deserves them just because. Entitled people often have a buffet of reasons for their absurd demands. This attitude usually starts in childhood when someone is treated like the sun and the stars and somehow ends up believing they deserve better than others.
But see, that doesn’t work on everyone. While some folks just give in to entitled people’s ridiculous requests to avoid conflict, others set boundaries early on. Setting boundaries with family is not just necessary; it’s essential for your sanity. They help protect your time, energy, and well-being from being crushed by guilt trips, uninvited opinions, and unexpected moving trucks.
When you encounter an entitled person in the wild, be clear, calm, and consistent. Whether it’s limiting phone calls, saying no to surprise visits, or shutting down backhanded compliments with a smile and a “Let’s not go there,” boundaries teach people how to treat you. And guess what? Healthy families respect them, even if it takes a few awkward conversations and some practice rounds.
What do you think of this story? If you were in the poster’s shoes, what would your welcome mat say? Drop your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not a jerk for refusing to take care of her in-laws after the way they excluded her from the family
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What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
This is 4 years old. Hope OP + her hubs stood their ground with his parents.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Yeaps, and I hope "everyone else" took those two in, From which one is a disrespectful b.astard.
Load More Replies...
Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
It never ceases to amaze me how someone can think it's ok to treat people like garbage and then expect something from them. I'd have told her there's not a snowball's chance in Hades that she would ever live with me.
g90814 8 months ago
Some customs need to be dropped, especially in cases like this. MIL didn't think this through anytime in the past 20 years.
SpiderWoman13 8 months ago
CARING for someone is not an obligation by blood, tradition or duty - but by mutual CARE from both sides. The only exception is children, who did not ask to be born. You decide to have children, whatever their incapacitation as adults, you have to care for them, as long as you don't harm yourself doing so.
Load More Replies...
Sea Squirrel 8 months ago
It's always hard to deal with unrealistic expectations from others. Even if you tell them in the most kind way that it won't happen, they will be disappointed, sad or mad. But that's not because you're the @ssho!e, that's because they didn't communicate before they started to expect these things from you.
Shannon Donnelly 8 months ago
It’s actually not that difficult to deal with other people’s unrealistic expectations. “No” is a complete sentence. Adults need to learn how to deal with their own emotions. And the rest of us need to accept the fact that it is not our responsibility to handle other people’s emotions or expectations for them.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
MIL hates OP—-who just refuses to leave, no matter how much abuse MIL throws her way, which infuriates MIL to no end—-so much she (MIL) wants to turn her (OP) into her personal slave, and humiliate her by ordering her around and making her wipe her wrinkly old a*s. For free. F**k that noise. MIL can waste away in a state home for all I would care, if I was OP.
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
So you treated your DIL like trash but decided she should take care of you when you retire? Doesn't work like that anymore - especially in this day and age of independent women with lives.
1LittleGranny64 2 months ago
There is no way I’d live with either of my kids. They need their space and so do I.
Pat Ferryman 4 months ago
She should think of what kind of care she would get after treating me like dirt for so many years. If I was her I would be afraid very afraid
Max Fox 7 months ago
The cultural mores which supported this type of "taking care of parents" were based on a woman being worthless for the family of her husband, so she has to demonstrate her "worth" by being a domestic slave and/or producing male children. However, that work is rent, and doesn't entitle her to anything except what the rest of her husband's family feel like allowing. Since the wife's feeling or even well-being are not important, the husbands family can abuse her as much as they want, and still expect her to be their servant as "payment" for not throwing her out to the streets. Of course, this starts failing when women can own property and work for salaries, so the Patriarchy reverts to calling this "culture" and tradition" to maintain a woman's low status.
Schmebulock 8 months ago
They should buy a new place, sell the old one and not tell the parents. Then invite them to move in and laugh when they show up to the old address.
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
This is 4 years old. Hope OP + her hubs stood their ground with his parents.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Yeaps, and I hope "everyone else" took those two in, From which one is a disrespectful b.astard.
Load More Replies... Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
It never ceases to amaze me how someone can think it's ok to treat people like garbage and then expect something from them. I'd have told her there's not a snowball's chance in Hades that she would ever live with me.
g90814 8 months ago
Some customs need to be dropped, especially in cases like this. MIL didn't think this through anytime in the past 20 years.
SpiderWoman13 8 months ago
CARING for someone is not an obligation by blood, tradition or duty - but by mutual CARE from both sides. The only exception is children, who did not ask to be born. You decide to have children, whatever their incapacitation as adults, you have to care for them, as long as you don't harm yourself doing so.
Load More Replies... Sea Squirrel 8 months ago
It's always hard to deal with unrealistic expectations from others. Even if you tell them in the most kind way that it won't happen, they will be disappointed, sad or mad. But that's not because you're the @ssho!e, that's because they didn't communicate before they started to expect these things from you.
Shannon Donnelly 8 months ago
It’s actually not that difficult to deal with other people’s unrealistic expectations. “No” is a complete sentence. Adults need to learn how to deal with their own emotions. And the rest of us need to accept the fact that it is not our responsibility to handle other people’s emotions or expectations for them.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
MIL hates OP—-who just refuses to leave, no matter how much abuse MIL throws her way, which infuriates MIL to no end—-so much she (MIL) wants to turn her (OP) into her personal slave, and humiliate her by ordering her around and making her wipe her wrinkly old a*s. For free. F**k that noise. MIL can waste away in a state home for all I would care, if I was OP.
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
So you treated your DIL like trash but decided she should take care of you when you retire? Doesn't work like that anymore - especially in this day and age of independent women with lives.
1LittleGranny64 2 months ago
There is no way I’d live with either of my kids. They need their space and so do I.
Pat Ferryman 4 months ago
She should think of what kind of care she would get after treating me like dirt for so many years. If I was her I would be afraid very afraid
Max Fox 7 months ago
The cultural mores which supported this type of "taking care of parents" were based on a woman being worthless for the family of her husband, so she has to demonstrate her "worth" by being a domestic slave and/or producing male children. However, that work is rent, and doesn't entitle her to anything except what the rest of her husband's family feel like allowing. Since the wife's feeling or even well-being are not important, the husbands family can abuse her as much as they want, and still expect her to be their servant as "payment" for not throwing her out to the streets. Of course, this starts failing when women can own property and work for salaries, so the Patriarchy reverts to calling this "culture" and tradition" to maintain a woman's low status.
Schmebulock 8 months ago
They should buy a new place, sell the old one and not tell the parents. Then invite them to move in and laugh when they show up to the old address.
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