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Mom Surprises Her Daughters With Kids On Mother’s Day, DIL With Dogs Offended She’s Not On The List
Mother’s Day is a time for flowers and thoughtful cards. For most moms, it’s a heartwarming celebration of love and parenting. But what if one of your kids’ spouses believes they, too, should be honored for raising poodles?
Well, that’s exactly what happened to today’s Original Poster (OP), who sent out sweet gift baskets to her kids who were either parents or expecting. However, the one who didn’t get a basket because her “kids” are dogs, was not having it.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sometimes, the hardest part about ‘Mother’s Day’ isn’t about who is a mother—it’s about who wants to be seen as one
Image credits: ANTONI SHKRABA production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author sent Mother’s Day gift baskets to her children’s partners who were new or expecting mothers, but excluded her daughter-in-law who struggled with infertility
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Image credits: George Dolgikh / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The daughter-in-law who considered her dogs as her “kids” was hurt and demanded a basket
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Image credits: Blue Bird / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author, in turn, told her she believes Mother’s Day should honor women raising human children, which led to the daughter-in-law cursing her out
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Her son then insisted that she apologize to his wife, and that she must also send a gift basket to her
The OP simply wanted to do something thoughtful for Mother’s Day. With her three grown children all busy and starting families of their own, she sent festive gift baskets to her daughter who had just had a child and her daughter-in-law who was expecting. However, she also had a daughter-in-law who was struggling with infertility, so she didn’t send a basket to her.
It happened that her daughter, having received her own basket, sent a message in the family group chat to thank the OP for the gift basket. Her daughter-in-law who was expecting did the same thing, and that was when she received a call from the other daughter-in-law whom she sent nothing to.
She started by asking her where her Mother’s Day basket was, confusing the OP because she began to think the daughter-in-law was pregnant. However, she had been referring to her dogs. Now, the OP remembered that the daughter-in-law had always mentioned that her pet dogs were her children, but the OP always thought she meant it jokingly.
The OP then explained that Mother’s Day was for women raising human children, not pets, but the daughter-in-law didn’t take it well. She got upset, cursed her out and insisted she deserved the same recognition as the others, stating that her two dogs were her “first grandkids.”
The OP stood her ground, saying that while she loved her daughter-in-law, she didn’t believe pets were the same as children, and now her son is pushing her to apologize, asking her to send over a belated gift basket to smooth things over.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Lovingly explains that Mother’s Day is meant to honor and appreciate mothers, grandmothers, and maternal figures for their sacrifices and unwavering support. However, the holiday can be emotionally complex for women who haven’t been able to have children.
For those struggling with infertility, they acknowledge that the day can bring up a strong desire to be acknowledged and seen. The need for emotional validation becomes especially important in these cases, as it highlights how deeply people want their experiences and identities to be recognized, even if they don’t fit traditional definitions of motherhood.
According to Forbes, many people turn to pet parenting for reasons that go beyond simple companionship. For some, caring for animals satisfies a deep desire for parenthood, especially when human parenting isn’t possible or desired. On a biological level, pet ownership has been shown to significantly improve mental health, offering emotional support and stability.
Life Milieu provides some insight to being excluded or left of from rituals like gift-giving. This kind of rejection activates the same areas in the brain associated with physical pain, making the experience feel genuinely distressing. They explain that it threatens our need to belong and can leave us feeling ungrounded and socially disconnected, and can harm self-esteem and identity.
Netizens were sympathetic to the daughter-in-law’s infertility struggles, even though most agreed that the OP wasn’t necessarily wrong. They pointed out that Mother’s Day can be especially painful for someone surrounded by expectant and new mothers, and that it would have been a nice gesture to include her somehow, even if not with a full gift basket.
What do you think about this situation? If you were the OP, would you have sent a gift to your daughter-in-law? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens maintained that the author wasn’t necessarily wrong, but that it wouldn’t have hurt if she had also sent her something to acknowledge her in some way
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What do you think ?
Jorge Gonzalez 10 months ago
I love my cat. I will save my cat from a fire before I save you. That said, I know my cat is my pet, not my child.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 months ago
I used to get those joke "Happy Father's Day from the cat/dog" cards for my boyfriend (now ex.) I'd use a pet-safe ink pad on the pets' paws and "sign" the card with their pawprint XD However, BOTH of us humans knew it was a joke/all in good fun and not seriously like "we have two cats and two dogs, thus you are an actual dad." I love my animals and I too would save them from a fire (probably before I'd even save my actual family members..) but as much as I love them, they are still pets. Do they have human-adjacent emotions and "opinions"? Yeah, simplified versions, at any rate. But they're still animals.
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Trillian 10 months ago
Several takes: a) Dogs are not children and you are not their mom. b) Asking for gifts is trashy. but c) Excluding one woman, especially one who struggles with infertility, is thoughtless at best and cruel at worst.
Jonas Fisher 9 months ago
She wasn't excluded. Would it be exclusion to host a party and not invite her...the year before she was born? No! Exclusion applies only if the person is eligible and is then cut out. The nutty DIL is not a mom. You might as well say that OP excluded her son, too, since she didn't get him a present.
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JK 10 months ago
I know right?! Can't see her son complaining he doesnt get a father's day gift 😂
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KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
I'm on a fence here. Dog mothers are not the same as human child mothers. But being left out hurts if you have fertility issues. In my mind I would send a basket of pet treats to keep some peace and make her feel included. Infertility is not a choice.
Vinnie 10 months ago
One option: send a basket and customize it with a few gifts for the dogs and a note about the grandpups. The OP wouldn't be calling them "grandchildren" and it would recognize Jenny's attachment to the dogs (who may be child substitutes).
KYLE 10 months ago
People seem to want the mother to tip-toe around the couple's infertility problems, which I know can be a touchy subject, but pretending canines are babies is just bizarre. I got to be honest, if my wife & I were having infertility problems, I'd find it a bit sarcastic or a joke to receive the same 'Mother's' gift the others got. Sure it could have been altered with dog accessories, but even then, It could have been interpreted as ... Oh Yeah Here's your MOTHER'S DAY basket ... enjoy being a MOTHER. Here are some Puparoni & new leashes to walk your KIDS
Mel in Georgia 10 months ago
The question is, did the dogs get anything for their dog mom? That's what Mother's Day is for, right? Acknowledging your own mom?
Binky Melnik 10 months ago
That was my immediate thought, that I’d give her a Mothers’ Day gift as soon as her “children” give her one, but knowing someone whose entire life revolved around having children and then having that dream shattered, it woulda been nice to send her some pet treats. Having said all his, though, I think the moms who showed off their gifts, knowing full well that one of them is infertile, are the real аssholes. They shoulda kept their mouths shut after thanking Mom for the presents privately. It kinda feels as if they rubbed their fertility in Infertile Lady’s nose.😕
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Tonyah Mcanelly 9 months ago
Considering she struggles with infertility it was pretty heartless to say those words to her. Maybe a small gesture would have been nice . It seems like a slap in the face to say "mothers day is for moms who give birth to humans." the only reason I think the OP could be conisdered YTA. is because her choice of words were so insensitive to some one who clearly wants to be a mom.
Rika 10 months ago
YTA. I think calling yourself a dog mom/dad is completely dumb, but the OP was insensitive given the situation. This woman isn't childfree, she's struggling with not being able to have kids. Calling her dogs her babies is clearly a way for her to cope, and not getting a gift was hurtful because it reminded her that she's considered "less than" because of infertility, which isn't her fault at all.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
I think of myself as a dog mom. But that doesn't mean I expect anything on Mother's day! My late mom always called my dogs her granddogs. I gave her a shirt once that I printed up, a picture of the dog I had at the time with the saying:" Let me get this straight. My grandchild is a dog?" She loved it.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 9 months ago (edited)
Speaking as a dog Mama, this is absolutely pathetic. Though I take raising her very seriously, I'd have to be completely idiotic to think it's the same as raising a f*****g human!
maria henderson 9 months ago
Im a cat parent my furbabies follow me about like a mother duck with her duckling. They are not substitute children but they are family. I cook for them clean up after them and provide a roof over their heads and cuddles when they want them. I also take them to the doctors (vets) when they are sick just the same as a human parent would. If that is not a definition of a good parent what is
Dog Mom to Zoe 9 months ago
Pet owner of 2 dogs. I do say happy mother's day to other pet owners but would never, ever be miffed if I wasn't acknowledged on mother's day. That really is a thing for other pet owners to play with. But MIL was cruel with her reply knowing that DIL is having fertility issues. Maybe a smaller basket would have been nice.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
For those who "celebrate" all sorts of silly "holidays," there is a Dog Mom Day. I recently entered a sweepstakes for Mother's Day, despite not being a mom, and the description actually said dog moms welcome. Didn't win.
Jumping Jellyfishes 9 months ago
There's day for just about freakin' everything. Just Google the desired subject. Mother's Day is for maternal figures of humans. April 18th is for pet owners.DIL has set OP in a lose/lose situation. It could've also been construed as a tone-deaf, pity-consolation gift had she done it.
Marnie 9 months ago
The main story aside, I'm firmly in the camp that the only people a person is obligated to celebrate on mother's day is one's own mother. A husband need not celebrate his wife on mother's day (but should help his children getting their mom gifts when they are little). I don't celebrate my sisters. My Mom didn't celebrate me. My Dad didn't celebrate his daughters. Most of this is just the Instagram age where everyone is keeping up with the Jones's and doing a whole HELL of a lot of attention-seeking. As to the story, nobody should have been posting in a group chat where this DIL was present. Who posts what presents they got? Are they 6 years old?
Jorge Gonzalez 10 months ago
I love my cat. I will save my cat from a fire before I save you. That said, I know my cat is my pet, not my child.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 months ago
I used to get those joke "Happy Father's Day from the cat/dog" cards for my boyfriend (now ex.) I'd use a pet-safe ink pad on the pets' paws and "sign" the card with their pawprint XD However, BOTH of us humans knew it was a joke/all in good fun and not seriously like "we have two cats and two dogs, thus you are an actual dad." I love my animals and I too would save them from a fire (probably before I'd even save my actual family members..) but as much as I love them, they are still pets. Do they have human-adjacent emotions and "opinions"? Yeah, simplified versions, at any rate. But they're still animals.
Load More Replies... Trillian 10 months ago
Several takes: a) Dogs are not children and you are not their mom. b) Asking for gifts is trashy. but c) Excluding one woman, especially one who struggles with infertility, is thoughtless at best and cruel at worst.
Jonas Fisher 9 months ago
She wasn't excluded. Would it be exclusion to host a party and not invite her...the year before she was born? No! Exclusion applies only if the person is eligible and is then cut out. The nutty DIL is not a mom. You might as well say that OP excluded her son, too, since she didn't get him a present.
Load More Replies... JK 10 months ago
I know right?! Can't see her son complaining he doesnt get a father's day gift 😂
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
I'm on a fence here. Dog mothers are not the same as human child mothers. But being left out hurts if you have fertility issues. In my mind I would send a basket of pet treats to keep some peace and make her feel included. Infertility is not a choice.
Vinnie 10 months ago
One option: send a basket and customize it with a few gifts for the dogs and a note about the grandpups. The OP wouldn't be calling them "grandchildren" and it would recognize Jenny's attachment to the dogs (who may be child substitutes).
KYLE 10 months ago
People seem to want the mother to tip-toe around the couple's infertility problems, which I know can be a touchy subject, but pretending canines are babies is just bizarre. I got to be honest, if my wife & I were having infertility problems, I'd find it a bit sarcastic or a joke to receive the same 'Mother's' gift the others got. Sure it could have been altered with dog accessories, but even then, It could have been interpreted as ... Oh Yeah Here's your MOTHER'S DAY basket ... enjoy being a MOTHER. Here are some Puparoni & new leashes to walk your KIDS
Mel in Georgia 10 months ago
The question is, did the dogs get anything for their dog mom? That's what Mother's Day is for, right? Acknowledging your own mom?
Binky Melnik 10 months ago
That was my immediate thought, that I’d give her a Mothers’ Day gift as soon as her “children” give her one, but knowing someone whose entire life revolved around having children and then having that dream shattered, it woulda been nice to send her some pet treats. Having said all his, though, I think the moms who showed off their gifts, knowing full well that one of them is infertile, are the real аssholes. They shoulda kept their mouths shut after thanking Mom for the presents privately. It kinda feels as if they rubbed their fertility in Infertile Lady’s nose.😕
Load More Replies... Tonyah Mcanelly 9 months ago
Considering she struggles with infertility it was pretty heartless to say those words to her. Maybe a small gesture would have been nice . It seems like a slap in the face to say "mothers day is for moms who give birth to humans." the only reason I think the OP could be conisdered YTA. is because her choice of words were so insensitive to some one who clearly wants to be a mom.
Rika 10 months ago
YTA. I think calling yourself a dog mom/dad is completely dumb, but the OP was insensitive given the situation. This woman isn't childfree, she's struggling with not being able to have kids. Calling her dogs her babies is clearly a way for her to cope, and not getting a gift was hurtful because it reminded her that she's considered "less than" because of infertility, which isn't her fault at all.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
I think of myself as a dog mom. But that doesn't mean I expect anything on Mother's day! My late mom always called my dogs her granddogs. I gave her a shirt once that I printed up, a picture of the dog I had at the time with the saying:" Let me get this straight. My grandchild is a dog?" She loved it.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 9 months ago (edited)
Speaking as a dog Mama, this is absolutely pathetic. Though I take raising her very seriously, I'd have to be completely idiotic to think it's the same as raising a f*****g human!
maria henderson 9 months ago
Im a cat parent my furbabies follow me about like a mother duck with her duckling. They are not substitute children but they are family. I cook for them clean up after them and provide a roof over their heads and cuddles when they want them. I also take them to the doctors (vets) when they are sick just the same as a human parent would. If that is not a definition of a good parent what is
Dog Mom to Zoe 9 months ago
Pet owner of 2 dogs. I do say happy mother's day to other pet owners but would never, ever be miffed if I wasn't acknowledged on mother's day. That really is a thing for other pet owners to play with. But MIL was cruel with her reply knowing that DIL is having fertility issues. Maybe a smaller basket would have been nice.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
For those who "celebrate" all sorts of silly "holidays," there is a Dog Mom Day. I recently entered a sweepstakes for Mother's Day, despite not being a mom, and the description actually said dog moms welcome. Didn't win.
Jumping Jellyfishes 9 months ago
There's day for just about freakin' everything. Just Google the desired subject. Mother's Day is for maternal figures of humans. April 18th is for pet owners.DIL has set OP in a lose/lose situation. It could've also been construed as a tone-deaf, pity-consolation gift had she done it.
Marnie 9 months ago
The main story aside, I'm firmly in the camp that the only people a person is obligated to celebrate on mother's day is one's own mother. A husband need not celebrate his wife on mother's day (but should help his children getting their mom gifts when they are little). I don't celebrate my sisters. My Mom didn't celebrate me. My Dad didn't celebrate his daughters. Most of this is just the Instagram age where everyone is keeping up with the Jones's and doing a whole HELL of a lot of attention-seeking. As to the story, nobody should have been posting in a group chat where this DIL was present. Who posts what presents they got? Are they 6 years old?
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