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“Be A Real Man”: MIL Wrecks Man’s Lego Set To Prove A Point, Gets Herself Banned From The Home
Broken Lego model scattered on carpet, symbolizing a man's rift with old-fashioned mother-in-law affecting his marriage.
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“Be A Real Man”: MIL Wrecks Man’s Lego Set To Prove A Point, Gets Herself Banned From The Home

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Mother-in-law/monster-in-law jokes exist for a reason. They poke fun at the complicated and, at worst, strained relationships many people seem to have with the mothers of their spouses. 

This story is likely one of the many you’ve read on this site. A woman visiting her daughter decided to step on her son-in-law’s boundaries. Her actions were way out of line and upset her grandson, yet she refused to apologize

Unfortunately, the chaos strained the man’s marriage, which made him wonder if he may have overreacted. 

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    Some people have strained relationships with their mothers-in-law, as this man did

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    It all happened during his MIL’s visit, with a Lego collection he cherished

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    MIL was so perturbed by the author’s hobby that she decided to take action

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    Some mothers-in-law can be toxic because they aren’t on board with their child’s partner of choice

    There are several reasons why mother-in-law relationships can get complicated. Many conflicts often arise between women and their daughters-in-law because of the competition for attention and resources. 

    But one factor that isn’t gender-specific is when MILs aren’t on board with the partners their children chose. 

    According to social psychology professor Madeleine Fugère, Ph.D, parents typically put more value on specific characteristics for their child’s partner. These may include a good family background and sound financial prospects. 

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    They don’t care about a good sense of humor or, as in the story, a creative passion for Legos. This is where they disconnect from their children, which may lead to conflict. 

    “Because of these different preferences, we may choose mates for ourselves whom our parents would not have chosen for us,” Fugère wrote in her article. “This may lead to an initial dislike on the part of our in-laws, which can be difficult to overcome.”

    However, the author’s mother-in-law may have also exhibited signs of narcissism, which include a lack of responsibility for her words and actions, showing aggressive and hostile behavior if she doesn’t get what she wants, and a lack of boundaries.

    Since the mother-in-law refuses to apologize, the author’s next best move is to create distance. While getting the message across will be a challenge, it is a necessary step. 

    “Remember that she is an adult that you can use clear and direct communication with, and you are able to ask for space when you need it,” psychotherapist Maggie Holland wrote in an article for Choosing Therapy

    The author was within his rights to ban his mother-in-law from visiting his home after the incident, especially since it also profoundly affected his son. And he should keep it that way until he gets a proper apology. 

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    Commenters rallied behind the man, collectively saying he wasn’t out of line

    UPDATE

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    The author shared an update

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    Both his marriage and family life had been affected by the unnecessary drama

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    More people in the comments showed support for him

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a similar fight with my mother-in-law. Not about Legos -- while I do love building Legos with my kids, that's not one of my hobbies. However, there was a very blunt statement about how I'm not a real man because I choose to spend time with my kids. It was interesting to me however, that much of what she said to me was stuff that I had told my wife in confidence, and which was now being used against me. My relationship with my now ex-wife spiraled pretty quickly after that. In the long run, I'm glad it happened, as it got me out of a relationship with a woman who clearly had no respect for me. Coincidentally, I am also an engineer, and the fact that I am still an engineer after 25 years definitely came up. Why aren't I in management yet?? Because I don't want to be a manager, I like building things, and I am very good at it.

    kayteeisdabomb
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    management is nothing but a monster headache. Did it once, will never do it again.

    Load More Replies...
    kayteeisdabomb
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Strong suspicions that his wife has been complaining to her mom about this for quite some time, and the MIL thought she was doing the right thing. Constantly implying he's not a real man for liking Lego is extremely disrespectful. That alone would have me banning her from the house until a genuine apology happened.

    greenideas
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. I could sense the wife secretly agreed with MIL from the start. Maybe she should marry a corporate CEO and see how happy that makes her.

    Load More Replies...
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    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a similar fight with my mother-in-law. Not about Legos -- while I do love building Legos with my kids, that's not one of my hobbies. However, there was a very blunt statement about how I'm not a real man because I choose to spend time with my kids. It was interesting to me however, that much of what she said to me was stuff that I had told my wife in confidence, and which was now being used against me. My relationship with my now ex-wife spiraled pretty quickly after that. In the long run, I'm glad it happened, as it got me out of a relationship with a woman who clearly had no respect for me. Coincidentally, I am also an engineer, and the fact that I am still an engineer after 25 years definitely came up. Why aren't I in management yet?? Because I don't want to be a manager, I like building things, and I am very good at it.

    kayteeisdabomb
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    management is nothing but a monster headache. Did it once, will never do it again.

    Load More Replies...
    kayteeisdabomb
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Strong suspicions that his wife has been complaining to her mom about this for quite some time, and the MIL thought she was doing the right thing. Constantly implying he's not a real man for liking Lego is extremely disrespectful. That alone would have me banning her from the house until a genuine apology happened.

    greenideas
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. I could sense the wife secretly agreed with MIL from the start. Maybe she should marry a corporate CEO and see how happy that makes her.

    Load More Replies...
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