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Many scientists agree that our communication skills are largely learned, not innate. So when, for example, women and men can’t understand each other due to inefficient communication, it’s not because their brains function differently, but because they were raised to express themselves differently. Men, especially, are discouraged by society from being open and vulnerable with others, which can sometimes make them look mysterious and confusing to women.
Someone probably heard the prayers of women, because the things they find most baffling about men were finally answered by the male population in the thread below. Scroll down to see it for yourself, and don’t forget to upvote the most unexpected responses!
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#1
I don't always want to be the one that initiates s*x. It makes me feel like a creep.
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#2
Sometimes we could use a hug.
#3
I was at home, when my wife and her friends got home one day from the pub, they were all giving me funny looks and smirking, I asked what was going on, they at first, refused to tell me.
After a little while of prodding one of them goes, "I HEARD ALL ABOUT YOUR D**K!" and they all broke into laughter, I was a little taken by surprise but laughed and said something like, "Oh yea? Hopefully all good!" and they laughed, and that was the end of it.
After they left, I was like, "What the hell did you tell them?!" and my wife responded by saying how she told her friends about our vigorous romps on our Honeymoon in Mexico, apparently in great detail. (We were there for a week and probably had s*x about 3 times a day -- we were both pretty sore when we got home). We had an all inclusive so we ended up getting day drunk and got pretty physical with each other as you do on a honeymoon.
She was like, "whatever, you probably tell your friends all about us when it's just the boys"
I don't know about you guys, but the EXTENT of what I ever say is usually a raised eyebrow and something like, "Aww yea booooi" I have never once described my wife's body to a single one of my friends, nothing in detail about any of my sexual partners (from before my wife) and it blew her mind.
Apparently girls talk in great detail about it, guys usually don't. And they assume we do, and we assume they don't.
Heffalump 5 months ago
I really hate it when I hear guys go into any sexual details about their partner. I just think that this is privileged information, because we are all (men and women) terribly vulnerable in this area. How do you talk to someone about what you'd like to try, or what you'd like them to do, if what you say is going to be relayed to their friends? It's not OK when anyone, of either s*x does it. It just isn't. No excuses.
#5
Most of us don’t get complimented so if you do give us one we’ll remember it forever.
Andrew Burke 5 months ago
Last time for me was from my MIL, when she said my new haircut made me look younger. Actually more of a compliment for my hairdresser, but you take what you get. Last real compliment for me ....? Yup, couldn't say.
#6
When we say we don't care we really dont care. Yes we can have an opinion on something, but when we say we don't care that means our opinion isn't strong enough to sway us either way on something.
#7
Why I don't know what the f**k my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Man we're too busy talking about the ins and outs of whether you should use skirt or tri-tip for the most perfect fajitas, and that debate can last for weeks!
#8
That just because I'm quiet in your presence doesnt mean I'm upset. Just means I'm either tired, dont have anything to say, or I'm thinking about something.
#9
From a gay dude's perspective, probably explaining that my sexuality doesn't mean i'm an expert on women's beauty stuff.
I'll go shopping with you and give you my opinion on outfits, but I'm not some Paris fashion wizard because I get naked with other men. Speaking of which, I can do drag makeup. No, Cindy. That does not mean I'll do your makeup. Why? It's *Drag* makeup, you will look like a clown f****d a real housewife. Is that what you want, Cindy?
#10
We're still a human so that's mean We have feelings too
So please take care when choosing your words when you're arguing with us.
Aileen Grist 4 months ago
Sometimes, the words are because you can appear emotionless and we want to know that you really hear us, rhen if we say something bad, it gets a reaction - we're usually sorry we had to do it to get that reaction, but some men can't behave as though they're fully engaged. Not a good excuse, I know. My husband has learnt that if he reacts - not violently or anything, just by facial expression or body language, our discussions/arguments are much more chilled. Took us a long time to work this out.
#11
Sometimes an erection just happens. We don't control the thing, it's a physical response that could literally be from nothing.
#12
When you ask us what we're thinking about and we say nothing, it's because we know you don't want to hear about ninja space dinosaurs.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
I mean tbf who WOULDN'T want to hear about ninja space dinosaurs? The thoughts you really don't want are me sitting there for ten minutes pondering whether we have apple cider vinegar while executive dysfunction keeps my a*s in bed instead of making the thirty-second trip to the kitchen to look. (True story from last night. But I did keep partner informed, since she's the one who asked me to whip up a quick BBQ sauce today)
#13
If I don't jerk off, I can't think straight. I'll end up doing something stupid like invade Poland, start a megachurch, or buy a timeshare.
Luke Branwen 5 months ago (edited)
That's why I hate the current TikTok purity culture that abhors "gooners" and treats the single-player game as something inherently horrible and immoral. I've seen multiple Reddit threads of guys who literally hated themselves for jorking it at a perfectly reasonable frequency. It's a natural urge, like having a snack when you're hungry, and I say this as an asexual guy. Nothing wrong about it.
#14
When you say "does this outfit look OK?" and we say "yes, you look stunning" and you reply "well, you WOULD say that", half my brain thinks "please believe me because you do look stunning" and the other half thinks "wtf did you ask me for if you aren't going to believe me?".
I should add that this was just a generic example, I do tell my wife she's is beautiful, I do say things like "yes that colour really suites you" to try and help put her mind at ease. We've been together for 20+ years and are really strong together so she knows I think she's amazing.
#15
How much compliments mean to us. It’s a different type of happy when a guy gets complimented.
#16
I'm seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office.
I turn my head for d**n near everything that enters my periphery, you're really not that special.
Nikki Sevven 5 months ago
It's normal and human to focus on something moving in your peripheral vision. Or something making a noise.
#17
Your hints are obvious to other women. Not men. If it *can* be rationalized, it will.
No, we're not getting jealous when you're dating someone to get our attention. We're thinking 'Good for her. I'm glad she found someone.'
We're not thinking that you're trying to get our attention by hanging out with us, even when you specifically ask to be alone with us. We're thinking 'Wow, I'm so glad to have a friend who wants to hang out with me.'
Words matter. They're effective and leave no room for misinterpretation. Just say you want to date us. Us guys are trained not to assume a girl is into us. If we do and we're wrong, we're socially crucified. At worst, it could result in legal action, depending on the extent it went to. It's too dangerous for us to assume, so please don't make us.
GalPalAl 5 months ago
I like hearing these kinds of reactions from men but some of these comments seem like half the story. As a woman, men often use the word friendship as a ploy to get you to sleep with them. And when you point out the obvious that another woman is making the moves on you, you tell us that we are being jealous or crazy.
#18
My legs aren’t spread to show dominance, they’re spread because my s*****m is sticking to my thigh and it’s super uncomfortable.
But less uncomfortable than explaining this in public.
#19
No, you do NOT have superpowers that give you the ability to read my mind! Hearing "You think....", makes my skin crawl.
#20
That we don’t know every detail about everyone else in my life. When I mention I hung out with someone my mom will ask my what their wife does for a living and can’t understand That It didn’t come up in conversation.
#21
1) That I am simply not clairvoyant. You need to tell me what it is you really want.
2) If you're disappointed in something, say so. I can take it - as long as it's not #1.
Kabuki Kitsune 5 months ago
The most frustrating thing for me, is hearing the "You know what you did!" line. Sorry ladies, 99.9% of the time, we're clueless and what you perceived as a slight, whether that be a glance at someone else, a misspoke sentence or comment, or even just a forgotten minor thing that's brought on this moment of anger... has completely blown right past us without realizing the mistake. You gotta tell us what's wrong, or we're just going to assume it's a non issue and not worry about it.
#22
Sometimes I just don't feel like s*x. It doesn't mean I don't find you attractive or that I'm sleeping with someone on the side or that I'm secretly attracted to your best friend or that I'm gay. Sometimes I'm tired or stressed or just don't feel like having s*x at the moment. There's no need to sulk or pout or bring it up 2 months later when we're having an argument. Remember those first two months we were dating and I was desperately trying to get in your pants and you turned me down? Did I sulk or pout or become passive aggressive? No, I realize that not everyone is ready for s*x all the time.
Börje Strömming 5 months ago
This! A double standard that makes my blood boil! Had this discussion with a group of girl friends a while back. One of them were really pissed her man didn’t want s*x the night before. So i asked them if they ever have said no to s*x with their partners, yeah of course was the answer. All of them good smart people but come that subject and they became very stupid and could not see the issue and just laughed about it .
#23
The fact that we can ride in a car with another man for 5 hours and not say a word. Drives my wife crazy.
#24
This will probably get lost amongst all the comments ..
I think it is hard to explain to my wife how much I love her and the kids. I feel like words are not enough and I work a lot but I wish my feelings could just be transferred so she understands...
#25
We can hangout with other guys all day and not talk about anything personal or of substance.
I think women tend to share more of this stuff with each other. What's going on in their relationships, career, etc. While guys tend to not share this kind of stuff with each other so often. We will every now and then. But a lot of time we tend to kind of keep things on the surface.
I've just had so many of these kind of conversations.
"So how's Jeff doing"
*He's doing well*
"Is he still going out with Amanda?"
*I actually don't know*
"Well didn't you guys hangout all day?"
*Yea*
"What did you talk about?"
*Nothing really, just kind of whatever*
"Isn't he your friend?"
*One of my best friends*.
#26
That just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean I don’t care.
I’ve had women talk to me about guys losing their hair “ he’s a guy so he doesn’t care! “ I know a lot of guys who hate being bald or the fact that they are balding and their hair is thinning and hairline is receding! This idea that we don’t care or don’t care about our looks because we are a guy is ridiculous.
#27
*Too clean for the hamper, too dirty for the drawer, that’s why I put my cargo shorts on the floor*
#28
Its ok to just tell me where you want to eat.
Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
I was trained NOT to say, because what if I choose something his wallet can’t accommodate? So how about suggesting three and she picks from those?
#29
My wife refuses to believe that my friends and I never discuss our s*x lives. It's a common misconception/stereotype that guys talk about nothing but s*x. Not even remotely true. It's quite the opposite, in fact - *women* are the pervs.
#30
Why I have peed in my backyard a "surprisingly high" (her words) number of times.
#31
That the reason I shake the gas pump the amount of time I do after I finish pumping gas is the same reason i shake my d**k after I pee.
#32
Sometimes (this is me personally so I can't say it's common) the struggle not to share emotions isn't as much the worry of backlash from society or friends, etc. It's more just a conflict within ourselves to verbalize and come out with it. I trust my friends with respecting how I feel, I just can't get it out because I'm fighting myself.
EDIT: I'm glad this has helped some people focus a general feeling into a somewhat coherent thought! I hope someday we all can climb out of this better people!
#33
That emotional state of "meh". You're not great, you're not terrible, just meh. Nothing is really wrong, you're just not really feeling it.
For some reason, some folks interpret this as "pissed off". They then continue to ask "Why are you so mad?" despite you answering against this. They keep doing asking until you actually get annoyed and angry. -_-.
#34
That we really don't care at all about what her friend Karen said behind her other friend Jessica's back.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
Not going to lie. I'm kinda curious what Karen did behind Jessica's back. I mean, not the specifics, just enough so I get to let out a melodramatic gasp followed by "That b***h!" as if I was entirely invested in what that hoebag did to poor Jessica.
#35
Sometimes I’m just h***y, but (in a committed relationship) sometimes I look at you and I’m just so in love that I want to be as close and intimate with you as I can, which is s*x. My ex and I had different love languages, and she would worry that I don’t love her as much as she loves me which was just crazy because I was head over heels for her at all times. Trying to explain that that really close, lovey s*x was one of the ways I showed her exactly how deeply I was in love with her, but she didn’t get it.
JB 5 months ago
TBH I think the whole “love language” thing is trash written by a misogynist but it does provide opportunity for discussion. So far as I can tell, the *point* is for each of you to communicate and adapt to each other. Not use it as a “this is how I show love; you need to understand and accept it because I have no interest in meeting your love language needs.”
#36
I have to constantly explain to my wife why my 2 year old son is obsessed with his p***s. I have to explain why he always wants to touch it and grab it when his diaper is off. She will never understand why our baby and his father share this habit.
Edit: it seems I should have worded this a little differently.....
#37
That men can sit for hours talking and talk about nothing.
#38
That sometimes we need personal space and it has nothing to do with our opinion of you.
#39
It’s not that we’re hiding things or we don’t want to talk to you, but we actually ARE just thinking of nothing in particular sometimes.
Edit: holy hell this is the longest conversation advocating for and against nothing I’ve ever read!
#40
An itch on my d**k is way way worse than an itch any where else.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
Who the hell gets d**k itches. It's the balls. It's always the balls.
#41
Very often, we say something at its face value with no double meaning, or alternative meaning, behind it.
It's women who ask me, "What did you *mean* when you asked/said that?"
I said/asked exactly what I meant. If wanted to state it differently, I would have done so.
Perigrine 5 months ago
One time I was on a double date with the other couple being people I had never met before. The other girl looked familiar, so I asked if we had met before. Later that evening, the girl I was with said that sounded like I was hitting on her. In actuality, we had met before - at a store we were both in a couple of days before. Sometimes a question is just a question.
#42
Just because I’m bisexual, that doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat on someone with a guy. For some reason, if you’re a Bi Guy, a lot of women think that you are more likely to cheat.
#43
Might not be the hardest, but explaining that men are generally fine helping with non-manly tasks.
There's this stereotype that men who join a girl to do girly things (or even mundane things like grocery shopping) are bored and only doing it to appease the girl. That's usually incorrect.
Ask me to go dress shopping with you? My sense of style might be barbaric, but we will make you look amazing.
Take a spa day? I've never felt so clean and high-quality in my life.
#44
I really want to see if we'll get along well enough to date but I'm horrible at maintaining a conversation without being too "safe" or too "out there".
#45
Why we bottle our emotions up.
At Least I'm Not You 5 months ago
Nobody cares about men. I mean, just go online and it's easy 90% man bashing. Some is apt, but most is just hateful.
#46
My words don't have some secret meaning behind it. If I say X, I mean X, not some random thing or insult you come up with.
roddy 5 months ago
Husband thinks when I answer his vague question with the obvious answer instead of probing what he really means, then I'm insulting him. No, I'm just saying what pops into my head as the answer. I don't go through the process of, oh, he knows this, so what is he really wanting to know? Takes too much processing power and tiptoeing.
#47
Pee at an angle.
Joseph Miller 5 months ago
The urinals at work are horribly designed. You have to pee at an angle so as to not get any splash back.
#49
There is a lot of s**t we, quite simply, do not give a flying f**k about. I do not care what color the flowers are, I don’t care what painting goes where, and I don’t care about Stacy getting a divorce.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
I do care what painting goes where, at least as long as it takes me to hang it where you want it.
#50
We'd love to be able to share what is really on our minds (sexual and non-sexual and every topic and viewpoint under the sun,) except we're afraid of the relationship consequences.
Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
This one is directly contradicted by a reply above which reads “and if it was a bad day we often don't want to talk about it. We would rather just move on and try to forget that it ever happened.” Can y'all just have a meeting and decide on which?
#51
As much as were seen as s*x crazed pigs we talk so little about women when we get together for drinks or soemthing like that...and when we do the topic doesent last long...litteraly cant even remember when was the last time me and my best bud talked about women, were both single too. Just usually talking about our old friends from school and what theyre doing, cars, our jobs, sport, or politics occasionally.
#52
When we say we need time or space, that’s exactly what we need. It’s not code for “you need to try harder”.
#53
When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just dont remember. I usually dont remember what I do, I just live.
#54
Bro culture. Women just have different relationships with their friends than men do, and it's hard to describe in rational terms how men's friendships work. We harass each other, and are usually obnoxious, but would also break our backs for our bros that we tease relentlessly.
Luke Branwen 5 months ago
Thin ice since I've too often seen "bro culture" or "bro code" used as a reason to cover for rapists.
#55
The specifics of nod code. It’s easy to say “up if you know them; down if you don’t” but the exact meaning of the downward nod is hard to translate. It’s seeing them, acknowledging them, and saying that neither of us have any issue with each other.
#56
Don't pee next to someone at the urinals. Always have a space between you and them.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
It's honestly kind of funny to me that girls don't seem to get this one. Like, you get a whole freaking stall to yourself when you do your business, and you can't imagine why guys don't like to rub elbows when they pee?
#57
As a little boy it was instilled in me that emotions were road blocks to ultimate goals. Sad? Do something about it. Mad? Do something about it. Happy? Better keep doing that. Feelings are hurdles to jump over, and I can go a while before tripping.
When I do trip though? Oh boy does the memory of pain shoot through me like a bullet in the a*s. I cry like a b***h about every hurdle up to that point even though it was just one that made me fall. And because I don't fall too often, I don't really remember the procedure going about fixing the injury. You can load me on the stretcher and I might just roll out. You can give me a pain killer and I might just throw it up.
Hell, i might be so traumatized by it all I might just stop running all together for a while.
Cheryl May 5 months ago
This feels very raw and real, but I don't really think I understand what it's meant to mean
#58
That we can in fact be thinking about literally nothing. Men are legitimately capable of breathing, while awake, and responding to a conversation and have our minds be blank and not thinking about anything.
#59
When the question "What are you thinking about?" gets answered with nothing.
Like, I don't really want to explain how I just imagined what it would be like if I was in a zombie apocalypse and what I would do and where I'd hide. All the places I'd have to go, to get food, weapons and s**t. How I just imagined if it was me in place of Will Smith in I am Legend and what I'd do in his place.
Stuff like that, it's easier to answer "nothing" then having to explain all of that and then get told "you're weird", even tho it's funny.
#60
How simple we are.
Men in general are simple. We’d rather have things up front, no beating around the bush, get to the point and call it a day.
We don’t pick up on hints because we don’t assume you like us unless you tell us you have feelings for us.
Being difficult is annoying. If you gotta say something. Say it. Don’t waste 3 minutes being difficult over something that could’ve been said in 3 seconds.
We tend to be more honest, and more up front with our intentions (There are exceptions) if I say I feel a way about you. There’s no hidden agenda. I actually feel that way about you.
#61
When asked "what are you thinking about?" and we respond with "nothing", we are literally, LITERALLY thinking of nothing.
Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
I thought you were ashamed to admit to thinking about ninja space dinosaurs!
#63
Why our pride keeps us from doing certain things. Asking for directions or help are the common examples but also not coming off as high mantaince or cheap. Things like not sending food back, not using small coupons and being sheepish with large coupons.
We dont know why either but it tends to go away in our 30s and 40s.
Also health issue denial. I figured I had lung cancer for years before I found out what heartburn is. Never occurred to me to see a doctor or tell anyone.
We're living an illusion and faking it until we make it I guess.
#64
You can be so hot we get erectile dysfunction temporarily. Usually performance anxiety but I've had it happen where a girl dropped her clothes and she was so hot I got nervous and couldn't perform. It sounds like us making you feel better. It's not.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
And on that note the general level of stress involved with s*x. I suspect most of it is self-inflicted (Well, it's a mental thing, I guess it's always self-inflicted) and definitely not limited to men, though. Still, the level of pressure is surprisingly intense when it comes to performance, size, and 100 other things that the other person probably isn't thinking about (or at least not putting so much emphasis on). I am completely convinced that if we didn't have a driving biological factor encouraging s*x, people just wouldn't put up with it.
#66
Precisely how much a small tap to the nards hurts. Women have giving birth on the top of the pain threshold, and I'm not taking anything away from that, but too many women don't seem to understand just how sensitive those bits are.
RiceRiceBaby 929 5 months ago
You've only told us about a million times. The facial says it all too. Believe me, we get it.
#67
Just because we seem emotionless, doesn't mean we aren't feeling emotional. Happiness and furious anger are the only emotions that are socially acceptable for a man to show, without being called weak, gay, or effeminate.
#68
Why the TV volume *must* be set on a multiple of 5.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
No no no, it must be an even number. 10 in my room unless the portable AC is on, then 16. (Yes, the AC is that loud.) 22 in the living room unless the movie is one of those terrible mixes where all the dialogue is whispers and all the foley is car accident level. Then it changes often but must STILL be even. (Of note: also true of car stereo. 8 with passengers, 22 otherwise.)
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
Now I want to discuss ninja space dinosaurs. They sound cool as heck.
Zaach 5 months ago
Once, while working at the IRS phone center, I put the caller on hold and, FFS, I was attacked by ninjas - that was one hell of a quick nap!
Load More Replies...
Brian Droste 5 months ago
There were many about us men thinking about nothing comments on here.
Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
Now I want to discuss ninja space dinosaurs. They sound cool as heck.
Zaach 5 months ago
Once, while working at the IRS phone center, I put the caller on hold and, FFS, I was attacked by ninjas - that was one hell of a quick nap!
Load More Replies... Brian Droste 5 months ago
There were many about us men thinking about nothing comments on here.
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