Having kids can be tough. They have a lot of needs that need to be met, both physical and emotional. They also disrupt the everyday life that you’re used to and make it all revolve around their routines. When raising them, you need to give away a lot of yourself and you don’t always get a lot back. And while it’s nevertheless fulfilling, it’s still demanding and tiring.
That is why taking on the responsibility of raising a child is such a big step in your life. Whether it’s through having your own child, adoption or fostering, one should not make that decision lightly.
That is why this following story is so fascinating. The couple in it were put in a position where they have to take in not one but three children, one of whom is a teenager. That’s quite a change of dynamic, especially for someone in their late 20s.
What’s the right thing to do in this situation? Scroll down to read the story and see what you think.
Being a parent is a hard enough job when you want to be one and feel completely prepared for it
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
It gets way more complicated if this responsibility comes to you out of the blue, which is what happens in this story
Image credits: jm_video (not the actual photo)
The author shared a few more details in an effort to help people understand where he is coming from
Image credits: 100 files (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Own_Antelope3340
Becoming a parent to a teenager can be tough
Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
The fact of the matter is that taking care of a teenager is hard even when you have had parenting experience. They can be a lot because they are going through a lot at that age. Pair that with a troubled childhood and you know you’ll have quite a few things to deal with.
The circumstances in this situation make it even worse. The potential parents have no prior experience, the teen has already picked up bad habits, and, on top of it all, there would be two minors there to care for as well. That is a lot of responsibility to take on, especially when it’s thrust upon you and you seem to have no choice.
Dealing with something like that will require a lot of love and understanding. Having that much space in your heart for someone is very demanding.
Still, taking care of a teen can be very rewarding if you are ready for it
Image credits: Elina Fairytale (not the actual photo)
Of course, parenting a troubled teen is not impossible. It is not like they are evil or will try to ruin your life on purpose. They too can be kind and understanding and even helpful around the house. Their bad behavior is usually rooted in the fact that they crave love and try to get it wherever they can. If you are ready to give it to them, you might be rewarded with many joyful moments together.
Still, building that trust will require a lot of grace and patience, and not everyone is capable of giving away so much. The author of this story seems to already be doubtful about taking on a teen, so that doesn’t bode well for their future together.
All in all, the situation is very complicated and should probably be handled with some help from professionals, such as social workers and therapists. They will be able to give the couple sound advice that will take into consideration all the nuances of the situation.
Many saw the man’s point of view and showed a lot of understanding, even offering their personal experiences to prove that he might be right
Others were convinced that he is behaving like a jerk
I agree with the first post in the article. The husband and wife need to work together with a social worker to fully understand the situation and timelines. Also listen to the advice of a social worker regarding the 14y/o. It’s not a cut and dry AITA. It’s a knee jerk reaction post from someone who needs a lot of professional guidance.
If you are told that a decision like this has already been made, before you have even been asked, it seems pretty inevitable that you’ll make a knee jerk reaction
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He is absolutely NOT TA. He has the right to decide what to do with his life - and if he doesn't feel equipped to deal with the 14yo decision, he has the right to say no. Emotionally blackmailing someone into being a parent?! Are these "YTA" - commenters insane?
Agreed. And it's not all about her. She is involved in gang activity. I would not want her around until she can get her act together. She needs professional help and a lot of structure.
Load More Replies... I agree with the first post in the article. The husband and wife need to work together with a social worker to fully understand the situation and timelines. Also listen to the advice of a social worker regarding the 14y/o. It’s not a cut and dry AITA. It’s a knee jerk reaction post from someone who needs a lot of professional guidance.
If you are told that a decision like this has already been made, before you have even been asked, it seems pretty inevitable that you’ll make a knee jerk reaction
Load More Replies... He is absolutely NOT TA. He has the right to decide what to do with his life - and if he doesn't feel equipped to deal with the 14yo decision, he has the right to say no. Emotionally blackmailing someone into being a parent?! Are these "YTA" - commenters insane?
Agreed. And it's not all about her. She is involved in gang activity. I would not want her around until she can get her act together. She needs professional help and a lot of structure.
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