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My mom was a people pleaser, and I have seen too many people take advantage of her for quite a few years. However, something within her switched after she turned 50, and I was so glad to see her put up healthy boundaries against the toxic moochers.
Even this woman was a people-pleaser, who was already letting her brother-in-law stay in their home. Despite her generosity, her husband insisted that they should also house his mommy, but she finally put her foot down. Scroll down to find out all the drama that followed!
This sparked massive drama as the mother-in-law kept pushing for it, and even the poster’s husband tried to manipulate her
Wife refusing to house husband's mother leads to conflict over relatives living with them and family boundaries.
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The poster reluctantly agreed to let the woman stay for a month till she found her own place, but her husband felt that she was being “unfair”
Today, we dive into a couple’s conflict as the original poster (OP) tells us how she got fed up with her husband’s family. When her boyfriend moved into her state, they both stayed with her mom rent-free as the woman wanted them to save for the wedding and their own house. Things went downhill after they bought their own place and moved in, as her husband missed his family.
He would even cry at times, and wanted his younger brother to live with them. OP found this weird, as he wanted to get away from them in the first place. However, she relented after he claimed that he had “tolerated” her family before. She was fine with the brother-in-law, who contributed to the household, and he was going to stay for 2 years max.
However, the husband’s mom also wanted to move in with her husband and mother-in-law. That is when our poster put her foot down and refused. The truth is, this lady was quite mean, as she always acted cold towards OP, never did anything for them (unlike her own mom), and had also disrespected her family in the past, when the couple was dating.
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Much to the poster’s dismay, her husband was not having it and kept insisting that his mommy live with them. Well, she caved in, but only partially. She stated that the woman could stay for a month only, after which she had to find a place with her younger son. However, OP couldn’t let go of the guilt she was feeling, so she wondered whether she was being a jerk.
Young woman with long hair and crossed arms expressing frustration about husband’s relatives living with them
Netizens opened her eyes that she was being completely manipulated by the “mama’s boy.” Experts also stress that “Guilt is an emotion that many people easily feel, so manipulators prey on this sensitivity. They know that making you feel bad makes them more likely to get what they want. Besides, they also use sneaky tactics to bully their victims emotionally.”
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That’s exactly what her husband was doing by guilt-tripping her and even “crying” about missing his family until she relented. Also, his remark about “tolerating her family” was almost scoff-worthy. The average rent per month in the US is anywhere between $1,400 and $2,000. They were able to save up a lot of money because of her mom, so he should have been grateful.
Coming to his mom, she sounded pretty problematic. Research also emphasizes that boundary violation, manipulation, and using guilt as a tool are classic signs of a toxic in-law. Moreover, studies have shown that 60% of women admitted that the relationship with their mother-in-law caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. No wonder OP didn’t want her in their home.
Many peeps online claimed that she had a “husband problem,” and I must say, I agree. Not only was he a manipulator, but he also had no regard for his wife’s feelings. All she wanted was to live in their new house, just the two of them, but he couldn’t even fulfill that much. Don’t you agree that he was being very insensitive towards her? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Netizens gave her a wake-up call that the whole family was manipulating her, and she should not even let the woman stay for a month
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Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!
Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!
Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows
Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows
He needs to be housed by your family for a year and thinks that he's doing them a favour. Then he pushes you to buy a house, then he wants to move in his brother, and then now he wants to move in his mother. What have you married? A family of homeless entitled alley cats?
So, they got married when he was apparently unable to afford a place to live, so lived with her mother for a year? Then he told her SHE needed to buy a house before interest rates went up more, so it’s actually HER house? I hope she didn’t put his name on the deed or mortgage, so she can keep 100% of the house after the divorce. And now he wants to move his whole trailer trash family into HER house to freeload off of her nd never leave until they all die? F**k that noise. I wouldn’t have married him in the first place if he wasn’t financially solvent enough to move states and buy a house or at least put a deposit on an apartment right away, so we could have our OWN home right after getting married—-without me having to foot all the f*****g bills. Is he even working, ffs? Cripes ladies, don’t be so desperate that you’ll settle down with the first guy who seems willing, even though he’s itching but a deadbeat—-and FFS, do NOT have children with someone like that!!! That kind of guy is the poster child for deadbeat dads. You will never see one thin dime of child support from him, after chasing him all over kingdom come to try to pin him down and garnish his wages—-which he will purposely either make sure he’s paid strictly under the table, or just not work at all (and most likely sponge off another gullible woman) so he doesn’t have income to garnish. Freeze some eggs if you must, but please wait for a decent guy to come along, who will be securely employed and would never ever take advantage of you. I waited until I was almost forty to find my unicorn, but I’m glad I did, after years of relationships that were both good and bad, and not destined to last. This one has lasted nearly twenty-five years now, and is still going strong. He has worked the entire time, now owns his own business, AND we BOTH do the cooking and cleaning!
He needs to be housed by your family for a year and thinks that he's doing them a favour. Then he pushes you to buy a house, then he wants to move in his brother, and then now he wants to move in his mother. What have you married? A family of homeless entitled alley cats?
So, they got married when he was apparently unable to afford a place to live, so lived with her mother for a year? Then he told her SHE needed to buy a house before interest rates went up more, so it’s actually HER house? I hope she didn’t put his name on the deed or mortgage, so she can keep 100% of the house after the divorce. And now he wants to move his whole trailer trash family into HER house to freeload off of her nd never leave until they all die? F**k that noise. I wouldn’t have married him in the first place if he wasn’t financially solvent enough to move states and buy a house or at least put a deposit on an apartment right away, so we could have our OWN home right after getting married—-without me having to foot all the f*****g bills. Is he even working, ffs? Cripes ladies, don’t be so desperate that you’ll settle down with the first guy who seems willing, even though he’s itching but a deadbeat—-and FFS, do NOT have children with someone like that!!! That kind of guy is the poster child for deadbeat dads. You will never see one thin dime of child support from him, after chasing him all over kingdom come to try to pin him down and garnish his wages—-which he will purposely either make sure he’s paid strictly under the table, or just not work at all (and most likely sponge off another gullible woman) so he doesn’t have income to garnish. Freeze some eggs if you must, but please wait for a decent guy to come along, who will be securely employed and would never ever take advantage of you. I waited until I was almost forty to find my unicorn, but I’m glad I did, after years of relationships that were both good and bad, and not destined to last. This one has lasted nearly twenty-five years now, and is still going strong. He has worked the entire time, now owns his own business, AND we BOTH do the cooking and cleaning!
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