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Woman Assumes Roommate Will Take Care Of Her Cat While She’s Away, In Tears After He Says No Way
Cat resting on a bed with a person sleeping in the background, highlighting cat duties and roommate refusal.
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Woman Assumes Roommate Will Take Care Of Her Cat While She’s Away, In Tears After He Says No Way

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Roommates are mostly fun, but sharing a home always comes with its quirks. Some folks leave their dishes in the sink, others crank up the thermostat, and then there are those who assume you’ll become their cat’s personal butler when they are away.

Suddenly, your chill living situation turns into a test of patience, cat cuddling skills, and how much fur you can tolerate. That’s exactly what happened to one Redditor who was forced to watch his roommate’s cat for 3 weeks while she was on vacation. And he wasn’t happy about it.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Some roommates leave dishes in the sink, others leave you questioning your entire life choices by week two

    Fluffy cat resting on bed with person sleeping in background illustrating cat duties and roommate conflict.

    Image credits: Adam Kuylenstierna / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    One man refuses to be an unpaid cat sitter when his roommate decides shared living means “shared cat custody”

    Text excerpt about roommate refusing cat duties during family vacation, highlighting conflict over litter box responsibility.

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    Text excerpt discussing a roommate disagreeing with cat duties and landlord rules about pet agreements.

    Text excerpt discussing a roommate planning a family vacation and cat litter box duties dispute.

    Roommate refuses to serve as litter box servant after lady plans family vacation and dumps cat duties on them.

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    Woman and roommate in kitchen discussing cat duties as she plans family vacation, roommate refusing litter box responsibilities.

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    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The man doesn’t like cats but his roommate loves them, so after a lot of back and forth, he agrees to allow her to get one

    Text excerpt showing a person explaining confusion about being told important information before a roommate leaves on Monday.

    Text message discussing refusal to take care of roommate's cat or handle litter box duties during family vacation plans.

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    Roommate refuses to be the litter box servant as lady plans family vacation and dumps cat duties on her.

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    Text discussing a roommate refusing to take on cat litter duties while another plans a family vacation.

    Close-up of a distressed woman covering her mouth, reflecting frustration over cat duties and roommate conflict.

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Before leaving for a 3-week vacation, the roommate gives cat-care instructions to the man, assuming he will take care of her pet

    Text discussing a woman planning family vacation while roommate refuses to take on cat litter box duties.

    Text showing a roommate refusing cat duties, expressing frustration about cleaning the litter box and dealing with a meowing cat.

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    Text message discussing plans to watch the cat once as part of family vacation and roommate duties.

    Image credits: Parianusti

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    The man refuses to watch his roommate’s cat for 3 weeks, especially since she never asked him—just told him to

    The OP’s (original poster) roommate is a true cat enthusiast. If she had her way, the apartment would probably be a mini cattery. But the OP is not a big fan of these sassy furballs, which is why he never wanted one in the house. Still, after endless pleas from his roomie, he finally gave in and allowed her to get a cat, which came with the unspoken deal that it was her pet only, not shared custody

    But apparently, the roommate wasn’t in on the rule. A week before leaving for a long holiday, she casually mentioned the trip to the OP. Nothing alarming there. However, the day before she was set to leave, she sat him down and started giving him detailed cat-care instructions: food preferences, litter schedules, even the vet’s number.

    The OP, totally baffled, stopped her mid-tutorial. That’s when it hit him: his roommate never asked, she just assumed he’d handle the cat like some kind of live-in sitter. And when he said no, her world practically collapsed. Tears, panic, bargaining, you name it. The OP’s roomie just assumed he would be fine with scooping poop and cuddling a needy feline at midnight.

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    But the OP didn’t sign up to be a cat dad. So, he suggested his roommate find a pet hotel. Her reaction? Immediate horror. Too expensive, too last-minute, and apparently not an option. So, the OP was stuck in a moral pickle. On one side, he didn’t want to deal with litter boxes and late-night mewing. On the other, his buddies kept telling him to just do it that one time.

    Young woman looks worried while talking to roommate who refuses cat duties during family vacation plans at home.

    Image credits: Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    But to OP, this felt less about cats and more about boundaries. Because getting along with your roommate isn’t rocket science—it’s mostly rules, honesty, and some compromise. First off, talk it out: discuss chores, guests, noise, and all the little quirks that could annoy someone, and yes, even the weird sock piles.

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    Split responsibilities fairly, especially when pets are involved. Look, if you’ve got a pet, you feed it, end of story. Don’t hand over the litter box cleaning schedule like it’s a team sport. Be empathetic and flexible, address conflicts early before they turn into epic grudges, and always respect each other’s boundaries.

    But sometimes, even with rules and talks, roommates use manipulation and pull the guilt card that makes boundaries feel impossible. Emotional manipulation is basically when someone uses feelings as a tool to get what they want. Think guilt trips, waterworks at suspiciously convenient times, or dramatic panic that turns small issues into crises.

    It usually happens because the person doesn’t want to face responsibility, or they’ve learned that turning up the drama makes others cave. The trick is spotting it: are you being asked, or are you being pressured? If it feels less like a favor and more like a hostage negotiation with tears, that’s manipulation. Because if you wanted midnight meowing, and fur on your clothes, you’ d just get your own cat.

    What do you think of this story? Would you take care of someone else’s pet for 3 weeks? Share your thoughts and comments below!

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    Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk in this story as his roommate shouldn’t have assumed he would care for her cat

    Discussion about a lady planning family vacation and dumping cat litter duties on roommate who refuses to comply.

    Text conversation about a lady planning a family vacation and dumping cat duties on a roommate who refuses to serve as litter box servant.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a lady dumping cat duties on her roommate who refuses to be the litter box servant.

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    Reddit user discusses roommate refusing cat litter box duties after lady plans family vacation.

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    Text conversation discussing reluctance to take on cat duties during a family vacation, roommate refuses litter box care.

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    Reddit comments discussing refusing cat duties and issues with being litter box servant while planning family vacation.

    Reddit comments discussing a roommate refusing to take on cat litter box duties during a family vacation plan.

    Comment discussing refusal to accept cat litter duties assigned by roommate planning family vacation.

    Comment discussing roommate refusing cat litter box duties during a lady’s family vacation planning conflict.

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    Roommate refuses cat litter box duties as lady plans family vacation, causing tension over pet care responsibilities.

    Screenshot of an online discussion about a lady planning a family vacation and roommate refusing cat litter box duties.

    Screenshot of an online forum comment discussing a roommate refusing to clean the cat litter box during a family vacation plan conflict.

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    Reddit comment discussing a roommate refusing cat litter box duties during a planned family vacation conflict.

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    Reddit comment discussing chores and refusal to take on cat litter box duties in a roommate family vacation conflict.

    Commenter criticizes roommate for refusing cat duties while owner plans family vacation, highlighting litter box conflict.

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    Comment discussing roommate refusing cat litter box duties amid family vacation planning conflict.

    Roommate refuses cat litter box duties as lady plans family vacation, highlighting conflict over pet care responsibility.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    What do you think ?
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would never ASSUME my h/m would watch my cat - and especially for 3 weeks. You ask way ahead of time and you accept that no is a reasonable answer and make other plans.

    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would never even leave my baby for more than a week! And I always plan waaaay ahead who will take care of her. and have backup options too.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have two points to make here. First, the YTA and ESH replies above are delusional. Maybe they are the kind of people who would go on vacation and just expect their roommate to take care of their cat? Second, OP said his girlfriend and friends were saying he should just take care of the cat. Maybe they would volunteer to do it (sarcasm).

    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, at least the roommate LIVES with the cat, I had situation where someone assumed I will go by bus after my work to another part of the town every day for 3-4 weeks to feed their cat! And I booked my 7 days vacation in same period and they were like "well, cancel it, we need you". They never asked just booked it months before and casually mentioned it few weeks before leaving. They booked 3 weeks, it's now 4th still not back, I have no ide if poor cat is even alive. They no longer talk to me. I have no keys to check, so I guess I am a bad person now who possibly "caused" a death of their pet. God forbid it's their fault!

    Load More Replies...
    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't assume I could leave a pet for THREE WEEKS with someone I was f*****g, let alone a (presumably) platonic roommate. Sorry, that's just an insane, entitled, or both assumption.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like the main issue is the presumption on the roommate's part and not that OP WOULDN'T take care of the cat. Seems pretty entitled to just assume anyone would take care of the cat, regardless of who it is. If I had a partner, I wouldn't assume they would just take care of Benny nor would I even probably ask. If they offered, sure. But my Benny, my responsibility.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's a thought that the YTA and the ESH bunch didn't address, what if the dude is allergic to the "gifts" in the litter box? I'm OK around cats if I am around them from kittens, but the litter box thing has me running for my inhaler. It's just not doable. What if the OP has a similar reaction to cleaning out the box? Three weeks is a lot of litter to be dumping in the trash, especially the designer type litters out there now.

    Svenne O'Lotta
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's not. He wrote several times that he could easily take care of the cat, he just doesn't want to.

    Load More Replies...
    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd never assume any friends/family will take care of my cat while I'm away. I ALWAYS arrange for a pet sitter. I'd never agree. I love cats, but I hate irresponsible cat owner more. I'd leave before her, making it clear that I'll be gone the whole time and I'd hold her responsible if any of my possession is damaged.

    Ivona
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd never leave my baby for that long without having a trusted daycare for him. Preferably st the vet's office because he has health issues they can take care of. Does she even like this animal

    Mad McQueen
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good you said no. She would have assumed you would do it again. It’s her pet. She’s responsible. Not spring it on her roommmate last minute a look baffled when told no. A week maybe but a month? No. She could have also asked the vet to board the cat instead of a pet hotel. And this thing has the run of the house but has to sleep with her? It’s going to go into a meltdown. I have 4 cats. I have a few people I ask way ahead of time to pet sit if needed and I’ve done it myself for family. She needs a reality check.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do it this time but charge 50% of what boarding would cost; next time, it's the same charge; the next time, it's 50% more that the boarding fee. Never make assumptions.

    JL
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From the comments this guy seems to dislike cats so this solution wouldn't work, but I'd say if you end up watching the cat, make sure by the end of her vacation the cat likes you more than her.

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even if he loves cats, he is still in the right to tell the roommate to eff off. I love cats, and if someone just "assumed" i had to work for them 3 weeks cause they felt like having a holiday and weren't even arsed to ask if I would take care of the cat, I would laugh at their face, and then get animal control if they left the cat anyways

    Load More Replies...
    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had similar situation with my sister who assumed I will go to her home every day or so, for her 3 weeks vacation. We live on different parts of city and it takes me a bus ride and some walks to get there and back and it's no picnic and it costs me. Taking care of cat is fine but getting there is a chore. I did that for free previous few years and they would always stay longer, at least 3 or 4 weeks and ignored me saying it was really hard for me to get there every day on scorching sun and heat! And they did not leave enough food for cat so I had to buy it. This year, they just booked 3 weeks (4th week they are still not back) and assumed I will AGAIN go there every day to feed the poor cat, they didn't even ask me! I gave them several great options to pay people to take care of their cat as I also planned my vacation during that same period but they refused to pay. Poor cat is alone on automatic feeder for almost 4 weeks! If she is alive. I have no keys so I can not check. :(

    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    OP is in a tricky situation. What would they do if she just left... what would happen to the cat?

    Taffy Renee
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Never should have agreed to the cat in the first place because this was obviously going to happen.

    Ace
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Clearly the housemate should have asked first, but I get the impression the OP would not have agreed anyway. Difficult, as a cat lover, to get my head round why they would not want to do so. There's an argument for saying that if you agree to a cat living with you you must expect to take some responsibility for it.

    Blma1025
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they aren’t cat lovers, simple as that. Not his responsibility that his roommate is a poor planner.

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    Pyla
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    YTA, basically.

    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Good grief, cat care isn't that hard. It won't starve before you get home from work, they are ok alone for a long while, and you don't actually have to touch anything gross. The only thing that could be a problem is the cat wanting to sleep in the bed. Agree she shouldn't have assumed, but this guy is being selfish and a baby. Ready for my downvotes.

    Blma1025
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you were my roommate I would never babysit your cat. That is your responsibility, pay for a cat hotel.

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would never ASSUME my h/m would watch my cat - and especially for 3 weeks. You ask way ahead of time and you accept that no is a reasonable answer and make other plans.

    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would never even leave my baby for more than a week! And I always plan waaaay ahead who will take care of her. and have backup options too.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have two points to make here. First, the YTA and ESH replies above are delusional. Maybe they are the kind of people who would go on vacation and just expect their roommate to take care of their cat? Second, OP said his girlfriend and friends were saying he should just take care of the cat. Maybe they would volunteer to do it (sarcasm).

    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, at least the roommate LIVES with the cat, I had situation where someone assumed I will go by bus after my work to another part of the town every day for 3-4 weeks to feed their cat! And I booked my 7 days vacation in same period and they were like "well, cancel it, we need you". They never asked just booked it months before and casually mentioned it few weeks before leaving. They booked 3 weeks, it's now 4th still not back, I have no ide if poor cat is even alive. They no longer talk to me. I have no keys to check, so I guess I am a bad person now who possibly "caused" a death of their pet. God forbid it's their fault!

    Load More Replies...
    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't assume I could leave a pet for THREE WEEKS with someone I was f*****g, let alone a (presumably) platonic roommate. Sorry, that's just an insane, entitled, or both assumption.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like the main issue is the presumption on the roommate's part and not that OP WOULDN'T take care of the cat. Seems pretty entitled to just assume anyone would take care of the cat, regardless of who it is. If I had a partner, I wouldn't assume they would just take care of Benny nor would I even probably ask. If they offered, sure. But my Benny, my responsibility.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's a thought that the YTA and the ESH bunch didn't address, what if the dude is allergic to the "gifts" in the litter box? I'm OK around cats if I am around them from kittens, but the litter box thing has me running for my inhaler. It's just not doable. What if the OP has a similar reaction to cleaning out the box? Three weeks is a lot of litter to be dumping in the trash, especially the designer type litters out there now.

    Svenne O'Lotta
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's not. He wrote several times that he could easily take care of the cat, he just doesn't want to.

    Load More Replies...
    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd never assume any friends/family will take care of my cat while I'm away. I ALWAYS arrange for a pet sitter. I'd never agree. I love cats, but I hate irresponsible cat owner more. I'd leave before her, making it clear that I'll be gone the whole time and I'd hold her responsible if any of my possession is damaged.

    Ivona
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd never leave my baby for that long without having a trusted daycare for him. Preferably st the vet's office because he has health issues they can take care of. Does she even like this animal

    Mad McQueen
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good you said no. She would have assumed you would do it again. It’s her pet. She’s responsible. Not spring it on her roommmate last minute a look baffled when told no. A week maybe but a month? No. She could have also asked the vet to board the cat instead of a pet hotel. And this thing has the run of the house but has to sleep with her? It’s going to go into a meltdown. I have 4 cats. I have a few people I ask way ahead of time to pet sit if needed and I’ve done it myself for family. She needs a reality check.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do it this time but charge 50% of what boarding would cost; next time, it's the same charge; the next time, it's 50% more that the boarding fee. Never make assumptions.

    JL
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From the comments this guy seems to dislike cats so this solution wouldn't work, but I'd say if you end up watching the cat, make sure by the end of her vacation the cat likes you more than her.

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even if he loves cats, he is still in the right to tell the roommate to eff off. I love cats, and if someone just "assumed" i had to work for them 3 weeks cause they felt like having a holiday and weren't even arsed to ask if I would take care of the cat, I would laugh at their face, and then get animal control if they left the cat anyways

    Load More Replies...
    Bilja M
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had similar situation with my sister who assumed I will go to her home every day or so, for her 3 weeks vacation. We live on different parts of city and it takes me a bus ride and some walks to get there and back and it's no picnic and it costs me. Taking care of cat is fine but getting there is a chore. I did that for free previous few years and they would always stay longer, at least 3 or 4 weeks and ignored me saying it was really hard for me to get there every day on scorching sun and heat! And they did not leave enough food for cat so I had to buy it. This year, they just booked 3 weeks (4th week they are still not back) and assumed I will AGAIN go there every day to feed the poor cat, they didn't even ask me! I gave them several great options to pay people to take care of their cat as I also planned my vacation during that same period but they refused to pay. Poor cat is alone on automatic feeder for almost 4 weeks! If she is alive. I have no keys so I can not check. :(

    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    OP is in a tricky situation. What would they do if she just left... what would happen to the cat?

    Taffy Renee
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Never should have agreed to the cat in the first place because this was obviously going to happen.

    Ace
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Clearly the housemate should have asked first, but I get the impression the OP would not have agreed anyway. Difficult, as a cat lover, to get my head round why they would not want to do so. There's an argument for saying that if you agree to a cat living with you you must expect to take some responsibility for it.

    Blma1025
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they aren’t cat lovers, simple as that. Not his responsibility that his roommate is a poor planner.

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    Pyla
    Community Member
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    YTA, basically.

    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Good grief, cat care isn't that hard. It won't starve before you get home from work, they are ok alone for a long while, and you don't actually have to touch anything gross. The only thing that could be a problem is the cat wanting to sleep in the bed. Agree she shouldn't have assumed, but this guy is being selfish and a baby. Ready for my downvotes.

    Blma1025
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you were my roommate I would never babysit your cat. That is your responsibility, pay for a cat hotel.

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