“Mad Because Their Wives Are Happy”: Man Refuses To Go On Male-Only Trip, Gets Insulted
Some people see work trips as a chore, while others see them as a way to get someone else to pick up the tab. After all, teambuilding and social events can be good to keep people motivated, however, when disagreements arise, it can spiral out of control.
A man reached out to the internet for advice after a barrage of abuse from his coworkers when he didn’t want to go on a male-only fishing trip. They called him “whipped” just because he didn’t want to make his wife take care of five kids alone for two whole days. We reached out to the man in the story via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
Once one has kids, it’s important to balance out social events so that your partner isn’t stuck doing all the work
Image credits: Iakobchuk / envato (not the actual photo)
One father ended up being called “whipped” for refusing to go on a men’s fishing trip
Image credits: deriabinanatalia / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: daddydoesntwanttogo
Team Building is a good way to make a work environment more enjoyable
Image credits: Fab Lentz / pexels (not the actual photo)
Work relationships (not work romances, that’s a whole different story) can be more complicated to manage then it might seem at first. Yes, people might just be coworkers, but let’s face it, it’s generally easier to work with someone who you get along with, even if just barely. This is why most companies organize some sort of team building activities. Otherwise, petty squabbles and resentment tend to build and build until there is no longer any ability to work together peacefully.
However, once a team gets to a certain size, it can be hard to figure out what people actually want to do. This story is a classic example of that, as the male coworkers, at least the ones who prefer to be away from their kids, want a fishing trip. They have, for some reason, dubbed it a “stag night” despite the fact that many of them are married and there is no marriage happening. This is a classic case of coworkers not exactly knowing each other that well and making questionable decisions.
This might be a clue to how they see the event in general, but as the husband who asked for advice indicated, not everyone is thrilled with this idea. After all, a fishing trip is a pretty specific activity that, in all honesty, most folks would not be interested in. Once you factor in taking care of kids, the original proposed trip seems like a bad idea.
Parenting does mean constantly finding time or resources to look after one’s kids
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. / pexels (not the actual photo)
This final point is particularly salient, as anyone with kids can attest to. Planning around a babysitter isn’t that easy. Similarly, this family has five kids, that’s a lot to handle even for a full time stay at home mom. Many readers applauded him for wanting to give her some respite, but it’s important to note that he isn’t the only one sharing this concern.
A few people did see his idea as intrusive, as the male coworkers seemed to have settled on this male-only trip. However, this does completely disregard the female coworkers, who are, presumably, completely left out of the “teambuilding” which at this stage no longer looks like teambuilding and more like a boys night on the company card. While there is some space for shenanigans at any company, it’s pretty bad for morale to have regular, exclusionary activities.
It’s not entirely unreasonable to want a break from one’s kids, but any parent should be able to understand why other parents will make the choices that they do. Calling a dad whipped for wanting to have a family-friendly event is more a self-tell than anything, as it creates some doubt as to how engaged these fathers are with their own kids.
Some wanted more details
Many saw this man as a walking green flag and sided with him
But a few thought he was not in the right
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The people who call him YTA are AHs. He's inclusive and we all should strive for that.
Let's repeat it a few more times, "Looking after your own children is not 'babysitting'."
This is the fantasy of the ideal family man. All the clichés have been used, all the buttons have been pressed. It's fake and boring.
And a repost since I remember something similar from a while ago.
Load More Replies...
The second a man refers to anything as a stag weekend/trip they are planning on hooking up. These guys are mad because the good family man ruined their chance to go cheat on their wives with some college girls at the bar.
It's the same thing with girls trips. They're just going out there looking for strange D so they can prove to themselves that that they still got it.
Load More Replies...
Where WAS this guy 30 years ago?! (Oh yeah, he wasn't born yet.) But DAAAAAANG, he's the perfect example of a family man. Everyone else saying YTA should be looking into a mirror at the same time. An all-inclusive weekend for the coworkers is an excellent way to boost morale. The naysayers should stay home.
Why didn't he just do so for the original trip? He was a naysayer. To be clear, I would refuse to go on either trip. Only thing my coworkers "need to know" about me is that I do my job well.
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Calling someone "whipped" because they care more about others than themselves is not the flex you think it is. It's a self-report.
NTA... they want time away from family they can do that on their OWN time. The family event should've been put into consideration a long time ago. Kudos to you for bringing it up, the whiners can stay home & be miserable there. Nobody cares!! 😄
When my kids were little, I worked long hours. I frequently worked 12-14 hour days five, six and sometimes seven days a week. Crazy hours. Whenever I had a day off, the kids and I would go out for the whole day. Luckily, I live in Japan where a lot of men's rooms have baby-changing rooms! When my kids were little, we played with train sets, we took walks, we played ball. I wouldn't exchange those moments for anything. Once the kids are grown, you'll have more free time than you want and the house will be painfully clean.
As someone who doesn't mind watching his bro's kids occasionally (but nowhere near ready to have any of his own), I salute the man and bow down to him. Those saying YTA and ESH can go fish off and get bitten by piranhas along with his imbecilic co-workers. Him being well-liked by the ladies in the office and his wife practically wrestling cleaning duties away from him obviously shows he's doing something right.
His "upset" coworkers sound like trash. And are desperately trying to gaslight him. His solution was phenomenal and solved so many problems people had. The ones crying need to sort their own s**t out and stop making their issues other peoples problems.
Those YTA claim that he 'ruined a trip that people enjoyed '. Well, they didn't. Only the party boys club liked it, but it's a work trip, not a boys weekend out, and it has to fit most of the people equally. Chance is, they'd have scrapped it anyway to not risk a workers complaint. Those YTA people clearly show that misogyny is alive and well. They don't care that half of the workforce had already spoken out about it and didn't like it, because they were women. And I personally think it's appalling that the female workers had already complained but not until the new GUY said something did the company react
What a great guy! Honestly that stag trip was probably not going to last long anyway, it's discriminatory and shows that the company values the men more than the women. This guys who are complaining sound like jerks who are probably gonna be divorced in the near future anyway. Sounds like OP is going to have a very happy future with his wife and family.
So, basically the guys are upset because they now can’t get drunk and have sex with a bunch of college students and cheat on their wives.
Anyone voting YTA are intentionally ignoring that the fishing trip was a work funded trip that only benefited a small portion of staff. This event now benefits far more employees. Entitled people always feel slighted when they lose an advantage over others. If they want a 'stag' weekend, it should be on their own dollar. A work function should be available to everyone.
One can go fishing without being a misogynist child-hating a*****e about it. I know a couple who give each other a weekend off each year. She goes to a Renaissance Fair in the summer, he goes fishing with his buddies in the fall. When she's away, the kids are his excuse to watch Saturday cartoons all morning. 😊
I love (notreally) tbe thought process of suggesting an alternative "ruins" the original trip. Going to HR and demanding something else? Yes that would ruin it. But he didnt like it so brought up something he thought EVERYONE would like. It's not his fault that the boss chose to cancel the original one in fa our of it.
NTA. ruin the trip. force those loser husbands that theres more important things.
Lost a job because I wouldn't go out drinking with the gang after work. My wife comes first, and my paycheck goes to taking care of us, not the local bar. Never looked back.
What do I think? He's ruining a perfectly good toxic male thing for a bunch of incels. 😜
When I worked in my previous company's central, there was a thing called "Mettwoch", which is an adaption of "Mittwoch", german for wednesday, which consisted of eating ground meat on bread rolls. Ground meat is "Mett". I never joined because the smell alone makes me sick (started about 1 year into being a vegetarian). Some took this as "not integrating himself". Well, may they...
Yes…this man (and sounds like even his wife) should be cloned. It is sad that I’m so floored by this fantastic husband/dad/coworker, but I kept reading this looking for an ulterior motive to behave so admirably…and came up wanting. King indeed.
Why in one comment was he asked if he was Mormon? He just has 5 kids not 25.
The people who call him YTA are AHs. He's inclusive and we all should strive for that.
Let's repeat it a few more times, "Looking after your own children is not 'babysitting'."
This is the fantasy of the ideal family man. All the clichés have been used, all the buttons have been pressed. It's fake and boring.
And a repost since I remember something similar from a while ago.
Load More Replies... The second a man refers to anything as a stag weekend/trip they are planning on hooking up. These guys are mad because the good family man ruined their chance to go cheat on their wives with some college girls at the bar.
It's the same thing with girls trips. They're just going out there looking for strange D so they can prove to themselves that that they still got it.
Load More Replies... Where WAS this guy 30 years ago?! (Oh yeah, he wasn't born yet.) But DAAAAAANG, he's the perfect example of a family man. Everyone else saying YTA should be looking into a mirror at the same time. An all-inclusive weekend for the coworkers is an excellent way to boost morale. The naysayers should stay home.
Why didn't he just do so for the original trip? He was a naysayer. To be clear, I would refuse to go on either trip. Only thing my coworkers "need to know" about me is that I do my job well.
Load More Replies... Calling someone "whipped" because they care more about others than themselves is not the flex you think it is. It's a self-report.
NTA... they want time away from family they can do that on their OWN time. The family event should've been put into consideration a long time ago. Kudos to you for bringing it up, the whiners can stay home & be miserable there. Nobody cares!! 😄
When my kids were little, I worked long hours. I frequently worked 12-14 hour days five, six and sometimes seven days a week. Crazy hours. Whenever I had a day off, the kids and I would go out for the whole day. Luckily, I live in Japan where a lot of men's rooms have baby-changing rooms! When my kids were little, we played with train sets, we took walks, we played ball. I wouldn't exchange those moments for anything. Once the kids are grown, you'll have more free time than you want and the house will be painfully clean.
As someone who doesn't mind watching his bro's kids occasionally (but nowhere near ready to have any of his own), I salute the man and bow down to him. Those saying YTA and ESH can go fish off and get bitten by piranhas along with his imbecilic co-workers. Him being well-liked by the ladies in the office and his wife practically wrestling cleaning duties away from him obviously shows he's doing something right.
His "upset" coworkers sound like trash. And are desperately trying to gaslight him. His solution was phenomenal and solved so many problems people had. The ones crying need to sort their own s**t out and stop making their issues other peoples problems.
Those YTA claim that he 'ruined a trip that people enjoyed '. Well, they didn't. Only the party boys club liked it, but it's a work trip, not a boys weekend out, and it has to fit most of the people equally. Chance is, they'd have scrapped it anyway to not risk a workers complaint. Those YTA people clearly show that misogyny is alive and well. They don't care that half of the workforce had already spoken out about it and didn't like it, because they were women. And I personally think it's appalling that the female workers had already complained but not until the new GUY said something did the company react
What a great guy! Honestly that stag trip was probably not going to last long anyway, it's discriminatory and shows that the company values the men more than the women. This guys who are complaining sound like jerks who are probably gonna be divorced in the near future anyway. Sounds like OP is going to have a very happy future with his wife and family.
So, basically the guys are upset because they now can’t get drunk and have sex with a bunch of college students and cheat on their wives.
Anyone voting YTA are intentionally ignoring that the fishing trip was a work funded trip that only benefited a small portion of staff. This event now benefits far more employees. Entitled people always feel slighted when they lose an advantage over others. If they want a 'stag' weekend, it should be on their own dollar. A work function should be available to everyone.
One can go fishing without being a misogynist child-hating a*****e about it. I know a couple who give each other a weekend off each year. She goes to a Renaissance Fair in the summer, he goes fishing with his buddies in the fall. When she's away, the kids are his excuse to watch Saturday cartoons all morning. 😊
I love (notreally) tbe thought process of suggesting an alternative "ruins" the original trip. Going to HR and demanding something else? Yes that would ruin it. But he didnt like it so brought up something he thought EVERYONE would like. It's not his fault that the boss chose to cancel the original one in fa our of it.
NTA. ruin the trip. force those loser husbands that theres more important things.
Lost a job because I wouldn't go out drinking with the gang after work. My wife comes first, and my paycheck goes to taking care of us, not the local bar. Never looked back.
What do I think? He's ruining a perfectly good toxic male thing for a bunch of incels. 😜
When I worked in my previous company's central, there was a thing called "Mettwoch", which is an adaption of "Mittwoch", german for wednesday, which consisted of eating ground meat on bread rolls. Ground meat is "Mett". I never joined because the smell alone makes me sick (started about 1 year into being a vegetarian). Some took this as "not integrating himself". Well, may they...
Yes…this man (and sounds like even his wife) should be cloned. It is sad that I’m so floored by this fantastic husband/dad/coworker, but I kept reading this looking for an ulterior motive to behave so admirably…and came up wanting. King indeed.
Why in one comment was he asked if he was Mormon? He just has 5 kids not 25.
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