Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
56
Woman Doesn’t Get Why Her Gift For Her Granddaughter Is Weird And Inappropriate
There are some things that you just don’t do without consent. Healthy boundaries are incredibly important in all parts of your life. Even though it might feel awkward to do so, you also need to enforce them with your relatives, too. Otherwise, you might find them making decisions on your behalf that you don’t necessarily agree with.
For example, they might influence your children in bizarre ways that would make many people do a double-take. Redditor u/fanggoria asked the AITA online group for advice after her mother-in-law got her young daughter an inappropriate gift—a fake pregnancy belly—encouraging her to pretend that she was pregnant. Scroll down to read the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
RELATED:
Pretend play is a part of kids’ lives, however, some parents can feel uncomfortable with what other people encourage them to do
Image credits: user18526052 / freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman called out her mother-in-law for buying what she feels was an age-inappropriate gift for her young daughter
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: fanggoria
It’s vital that your family and friends respect your role as a parent and don’t make decisions behind your back
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
According to the author of the post, she suspected that her mother-in-law was feeding her daughter’s obsession with pregnancy. Not just by getting her a fake pregnancy belly to wear, but also by giving her unrestricted access to strange content on YouTube. It’s one thing to encourage your child to be curious about how the world works, but there are limits that you, as a parent, should be comfortable with.
“I believe her grandmother allows her unlimited access to YouTube and my daughter will watch videos where the MC [main character] is pregnant, which is what I think stemmed her fascination with pregnancy in the first place,” u/fanggoria writes.
“I’ve addressed my concerns with them about my daughter having unfettered access to YouTube, but I don’t believe my concerns were taken seriously and am under the impression they’ve been dishonest about letting her watch whatever she wants. I’m uncomfortable with them encouraging my 6-year-old to pretend she’s pregnant, but MIL acts like it’s no big deal and that I’m the jerk for perceiving it as weird.”
The sad reality is that a lot of content on YouTube is not age-appropriate. And some content creators try to cash in and create really bizarre, colorful videos about weird topics, to try to appeal to younger viewers. In short, parental supervision is absolutely essential, as your kids are still learning about what they should and should not watch.
However, it’s a huge issue if your family members and friends try to go around the rules and expectations you’ve set for your kids. It’s natural for people to have different ideas about parenting, but this does not mean that anyone has the right to go behind your back and teach your kids things that you deem inappropriate for their age.
In these types of situations, you need to have a very frank but diplomatic chat with the other person. Without being judgmental or getting angry, explain to them why you believe their behavior around your kids is inappropriate, how you would like them to adjust their behavior, and what the consequences will be if they continue ignoring your parental boundaries.
In a nutshell, if your loved ones continue trampling all over your parenting style, rules at home, and boundaries, it might be time to limit the time they spend with you and your kids. Cutting them off completely is a measure of last resort, but it may be a necessary step if you find yourself being constantly disrespected and sidelined.
There are plenty of other, age-appropriate toys that grandparents can choose for the younger members of their family
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, kids aged 3 to 6 have longer attention spans than toddlers, ask lots of questions, experiment with new things, like to play with friends, and can take turns sharing toys with other children.
Some good toys for kids in this age range, as per NAEYC, include:
- Things for solving problems, like puzzles, blocks that snap together, small colored books, etc;
- Things for pretending and building, from building blocks and construction sets to dolls with accessories and sand and water play toys;
- Things to create with, such as crayons, markers, paintbrushes, paper, chalk, modeling clay, playdough, and musical instruments;
- Picture books with more words and more detailed pictures;
- Physical equipment like balls, tricycles, wagons, wheelbarrows, bats, bowling pins, workbenches, etc.
If you’re worried about screen time, you have to be realistic about the new goals you set for your kids
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
As per Mayo Clinic Health System, it’s recommended that parents limit their children’s screen time. Kids under the age of 2 should not be getting any screen time at all.
Meanwhile, children aged 2 to 12 should be limited to one hour of screen time per day. Teens are allowed two hours per day.
It’s essential that parents set expectations for their children early on. “Create goals to be intentional about reducing screen time. Many devices have features to set time limits for use.”
That being said, you have to be realistic and set smaller, attainable goals instead of aiming straight for the recommended number of hours per day. Start by cutting the current screen time bit by bit.
You can aim to create phone-free zones in your home. For example, your rule could be not to have any electronic devices in the family meal area. Meanwhile, parents ought to give their children their full attention after school or work.
Spending lots of time outdoors can be a good alternative to screen time, too. “Putting down the phone and taking a walk or playing outdoors increases your endorphins and provides that feeling of happiness in your brain, boosting your mood and improving your physical health.”
What are your thoughts about the entire situation between u/fanggoria and her mother-in-law? Do you think that the grandmother’s gift was inappropriate or is it all just pretend play? Where do you draw the line when it comes to gifts for your kids? How do you establish and enforce healthy boundaries with your in-laws? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
Later, the author shared a bit more context in one of the comments
Most internet users who read the story thought that the mom was right to enforce some boundaries with her MIL
There were those who thought nobody that nobody messed up at all
Some readers thought that the mom was in the wrong and gently called her out
One internet user relied on a similar personal experience to share advice
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
The pregnancy fascination does seem to be extrean, I think mother is handling it right, don't encourage but don't demonize it, just encourage other stuff. It's like any other odd special interest. I had a friend who was obsessed with sight disorders after reading a book about a child losing their sight. It was really weird but she grew out of it. Not with fighting over, but not something to be encouraging. But unfettered access to YouTube is a huge red flag. I wouldn't let her have unsupervised time with grandparents.
Say No to Downvoting 6 months ago
I was this child - playing pregnancy and mother/baby games was my first memory and it continued into adolescence (my fantasies weren’t about Luke Perry, they were about pregnancy and breastfeeding). In the doctor’s office I never read Cosmo, I’d find birth magazines. I’m now a registered nurse with graduate degree in Child and Maternal Health and a lovely career working with mothers, babies, breastfeeding and pregnancy. I have 3 kids and I loooooved pregnancy, birth and the newborn stage. Sometimes these things are not phases - they are lifelong passions. The preggy tummy for the 6yo is a bit weird just in an unusual way, not a harmful way - I would have loved it! (and weird interest-led presents are the best - my nephew got a post office box for his 4th birthday). The YouTube thing needs to stop, though.
Nikole 6 months ago
I DEFINITELY grew out of it, but when I was five and my mom was pregnant with my brother, I used to play “big tummy” and put a throw pillow under my shirt. I only did it when I was alone though.
Load More Replies...
Deborah B 6 months ago
She's six. Pretend play is normal. Pregnancy included. A pregnancy belly is odd, and unnecessary, but the mom is over reacting about that. I'd be far more concerned about screen access. There is a lot on youtube that is absolutely not safe for a six-year-old. Time for a sitdown with grandma, and some agreed rules about what she's allowed to watch.
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
NTA. I does seem like she's been doing this for a long time, 4 years +. Grandma is very weird for ordering pregnancy bellies for a LITTLE girl, so inappropriate. I wonder if she has any clue of what this kid is watching or could be watching on YouTube. You and your husband need to sit his parents down and flat out tell them what she is and is not allowed to do while with them. You also need to find out exactly what Grandma is telling this little girl. If they don't follow the rules she can't be alone with them.
Featherytoad 6 months ago
Grandma is the one that needs supervision on Youtube AND Amazon.
Load More Replies...
Hoi-Polloi 6 months ago
I think the little girl's interest in motherhood is innocent and fine. The actual gift... maybe a bit much, but not disastrously so. Let the child "play mama". Honestly the whole post and the replies have this undertone of "how DARE you encourage girls to dream of motherhood!", which is itself a little weird. Over time the child may develop other interests, or it might just turn out that that's "her thing".
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
Idk. I used to walk around with two bowling balls in my dress top (bóobs) when we'd play dress up. Seems like normal kid stuff
Debbie 6 months ago
There was always pretend play. We pretended to play mom, dad, baby. We played with dolls. It's happening less now, but it is not strange or inappropriate for a child to be fascinated by family/babies/ pregnancy. I even had a pregnant barbie.
JenC 6 months ago (edited)
Unmonitored YouTube is definitely a problem, especially if mom doesn't want it. Even Kids YouTube has weird stuff. Kid I babysat looked up Littlest Pet Shop, and someone had used the toys to make a music video where the pet got drunk and cut its wrists in the bath. Like wtf. She didn't understand why I banned that video, because it was LPS.
JayWantsACat 6 months ago
NTA but the MIL is for not adhering to the guidelines that OP wants to raise their child under. It's one thing to indulge children as a grandparent or aunt/uncles, it's another to undermine that completely especially after being confronted about it.
weatherwitch 6 months ago
I don't have too much issues with it. It's dress up. This child is Fascinated with pregnancy. That's Incredibly unusual. I think more of a medical approach should be taken as in a doctors play kit. Pretend scanner etc. She could be a specialist doctor or nurse down the line. What REALLY does concern me is YouTube. The child needs parental controls set up, there's some malicious stuff out there long before you stumble upon Nasty shít thanks to the algorithms 😞 I was the opposite though from this lass, I Knew babies, pregnancy wasn't my thing from tiny and I'm 51 child free and soooo happy 😊
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
Kids go through phases. Some of them are stupid. I know I went through one where I adored this game character (who is objectively incredibly ugly) and stereotypically “bad guy” whilst also being incredibly eccentric so not exactly a catch, lol. Your kid will either look back and go “I was a moron for shoving stuff up my shirt” or “I still want to be a mum to beautiful children!” and obviously neither of those things are bad. Just give her time ☺️. They grow up! For the record, I still love said game character out of nostalgia and will use him whenever I play games he’s in, but it’s not obsessively reading the game manual and wanting to change my life direction like it used to be. I would have made a trash physicist anyway 🤣
Clown fish 6 months ago (edited)
I pretended to be a horse for 2 years! I didn't become a horse. This mum sounds like she's frightened her daughter might want a real baby.
Load More Replies...
Rika 6 months ago
Can we please not call a little girl "pregnancy-obsessed" ? It's a word to describe crazy women who poke holes in c*ndoms because they're desperate to get pregnant (and don't care about the man's consent) It has nothing to do with a small kid playing pretend like all kids do.
Tyke 6 months ago
A phase is normal... but she's been doing this for 4 years. In my mind that's not a phase
Load More Replies... 
Emilu 6 months ago
The MIL’s gift or the kid? MIL’s gift is subjectively strange but well-meaning given what the kid likes. If you’re calling the kid weird, then, well… I will just say I respectfully disagree with you 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
But NTA on the bellies or u tube stuff it’s ott , rest is ok tho it’s normal
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
The pregnancy fascination does seem to be extrean, I think mother is handling it right, don't encourage but don't demonize it, just encourage other stuff. It's like any other odd special interest. I had a friend who was obsessed with sight disorders after reading a book about a child losing their sight. It was really weird but she grew out of it. Not with fighting over, but not something to be encouraging. But unfettered access to YouTube is a huge red flag. I wouldn't let her have unsupervised time with grandparents.
Say No to Downvoting 6 months ago
I was this child - playing pregnancy and mother/baby games was my first memory and it continued into adolescence (my fantasies weren’t about Luke Perry, they were about pregnancy and breastfeeding). In the doctor’s office I never read Cosmo, I’d find birth magazines. I’m now a registered nurse with graduate degree in Child and Maternal Health and a lovely career working with mothers, babies, breastfeeding and pregnancy. I have 3 kids and I loooooved pregnancy, birth and the newborn stage. Sometimes these things are not phases - they are lifelong passions. The preggy tummy for the 6yo is a bit weird just in an unusual way, not a harmful way - I would have loved it! (and weird interest-led presents are the best - my nephew got a post office box for his 4th birthday). The YouTube thing needs to stop, though.
Nikole 6 months ago
I DEFINITELY grew out of it, but when I was five and my mom was pregnant with my brother, I used to play “big tummy” and put a throw pillow under my shirt. I only did it when I was alone though.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 6 months ago
She's six. Pretend play is normal. Pregnancy included. A pregnancy belly is odd, and unnecessary, but the mom is over reacting about that. I'd be far more concerned about screen access. There is a lot on youtube that is absolutely not safe for a six-year-old. Time for a sitdown with grandma, and some agreed rules about what she's allowed to watch.
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
NTA. I does seem like she's been doing this for a long time, 4 years +. Grandma is very weird for ordering pregnancy bellies for a LITTLE girl, so inappropriate. I wonder if she has any clue of what this kid is watching or could be watching on YouTube. You and your husband need to sit his parents down and flat out tell them what she is and is not allowed to do while with them. You also need to find out exactly what Grandma is telling this little girl. If they don't follow the rules she can't be alone with them.
Featherytoad 6 months ago
Grandma is the one that needs supervision on Youtube AND Amazon.
Load More Replies... Hoi-Polloi 6 months ago
I think the little girl's interest in motherhood is innocent and fine. The actual gift... maybe a bit much, but not disastrously so. Let the child "play mama". Honestly the whole post and the replies have this undertone of "how DARE you encourage girls to dream of motherhood!", which is itself a little weird. Over time the child may develop other interests, or it might just turn out that that's "her thing".
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
Idk. I used to walk around with two bowling balls in my dress top (bóobs) when we'd play dress up. Seems like normal kid stuff
Debbie 6 months ago
There was always pretend play. We pretended to play mom, dad, baby. We played with dolls. It's happening less now, but it is not strange or inappropriate for a child to be fascinated by family/babies/ pregnancy. I even had a pregnant barbie.
JenC 6 months ago (edited)
Unmonitored YouTube is definitely a problem, especially if mom doesn't want it. Even Kids YouTube has weird stuff. Kid I babysat looked up Littlest Pet Shop, and someone had used the toys to make a music video where the pet got drunk and cut its wrists in the bath. Like wtf. She didn't understand why I banned that video, because it was LPS.
JayWantsACat 6 months ago
NTA but the MIL is for not adhering to the guidelines that OP wants to raise their child under. It's one thing to indulge children as a grandparent or aunt/uncles, it's another to undermine that completely especially after being confronted about it.
weatherwitch 6 months ago
I don't have too much issues with it. It's dress up. This child is Fascinated with pregnancy. That's Incredibly unusual. I think more of a medical approach should be taken as in a doctors play kit. Pretend scanner etc. She could be a specialist doctor or nurse down the line. What REALLY does concern me is YouTube. The child needs parental controls set up, there's some malicious stuff out there long before you stumble upon Nasty shít thanks to the algorithms 😞 I was the opposite though from this lass, I Knew babies, pregnancy wasn't my thing from tiny and I'm 51 child free and soooo happy 😊
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
Kids go through phases. Some of them are stupid. I know I went through one where I adored this game character (who is objectively incredibly ugly) and stereotypically “bad guy” whilst also being incredibly eccentric so not exactly a catch, lol. Your kid will either look back and go “I was a moron for shoving stuff up my shirt” or “I still want to be a mum to beautiful children!” and obviously neither of those things are bad. Just give her time ☺️. They grow up! For the record, I still love said game character out of nostalgia and will use him whenever I play games he’s in, but it’s not obsessively reading the game manual and wanting to change my life direction like it used to be. I would have made a trash physicist anyway 🤣
Clown fish 6 months ago (edited)
I pretended to be a horse for 2 years! I didn't become a horse. This mum sounds like she's frightened her daughter might want a real baby.
Load More Replies... Rika 6 months ago
Can we please not call a little girl "pregnancy-obsessed" ? It's a word to describe crazy women who poke holes in c*ndoms because they're desperate to get pregnant (and don't care about the man's consent) It has nothing to do with a small kid playing pretend like all kids do.
Tyke 6 months ago
A phase is normal... but she's been doing this for 4 years. In my mind that's not a phase
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 months ago
The MIL’s gift or the kid? MIL’s gift is subjectively strange but well-meaning given what the kid likes. If you’re calling the kid weird, then, well… I will just say I respectfully disagree with you 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
But NTA on the bellies or u tube stuff it’s ott , rest is ok tho it’s normal
Load More Replies... You May Like Parents Assume Childfree Cousin Will Babysit For Them On A Trip; Receive A Shocking Surprise Instead MIL Demands Son Leaves Pregnant Wife Alone During Holidays, Is Baffled He Says 'No' Woman Endures Endless Nose-Ring Insults From Grandma, Finally Drops A Comeback That Leaves Her Quiet
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Denis Krotovas
Related on Bored Panda
44
49