Woman’s GF Yells At Her For Wearing Dress And Having Long Hair, Relationship Is Put Into Question
Insecurity can ruin even the healthiest of relationships. People who feel insecure tend to project their emotions onto others and get riled up about the smallest things. Their overthinking can chip away at their confidence and the way they feel about the relationships they’re in.
That’s exactly what a Reddit poster experienced when her girlfriend kept questioning her and putting her down for being too feminine. The woman was shocked at how easily the whole situation culminated into one big fight.
More info: Reddit
Lesbian couple reaches their breaking point when insecure GF attacks her partner because she decided to wear a dress to a party
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
21 Y.O. woman has been dating her GF for four months, during which her GF kept commenting on her clothing choices and her hairstyle, saying it made her look like a straight girl
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
Since the poster had only dated men previously, her insecure girlfriend kept accusing her of missing the feeling of being with men
Image credits: Rachel Claire (not the actual photo)
The couple was going to attend a party when the woman’s GF took issue with the dress she wore and tried to force her to change it, saying that “no one was going to think [they] were together”
Image credits: u/Numerous-Barber-5623
When the poster refused to change, her GF was violent with her, she also reduced the woman to tears by forcing her to prove she liked girls
The 21-year-old woman shared that she had only dated men before she met her girlfriend. She and her 24-year-old partner had been together for 4 months, during which the other woman kept commenting on her clothes and hair. Since the girlfriend was more masculine-presenting, she constantly had an issue with the poster looking too feminine.
The author always stood her ground and told her girlfriend she would not be changing her style. Another instance when this became an issue is when the poster commented on a video of two feminine lesbians getting married. Her girlfriend immediately got mad and accused her of wanting to look like them. Apart from that, the partner also seemed worried that the author missed being with men.
Since the poster had dated men in the past and was now dating a woman, she shared that, “I would call myself bi, but she hates when I do that.” The author also added, “she had problems with my long hair and my ‘girly’ clothes and my makeup, but also with the music I listen to (omg Taylor Swift is straight people music), and the things I enjoy (god, you actually like that show?) because it was all typically ‘girly’ or feminine.”
It’s interesting to note that heterosexual and gay/lesbian people are less willing to date bisexual people. Bisexual women are often the ones to be rejected, especially by lesbian women, due to stereotypes about them being untrustworthy, unreliable, or more likely to sleep with men. Another form of bias against bisexual women is the stereotype that they are actually straight and just trying to be with women for “fun” as an “experiment” or even to attract straight men.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One day, the couple was getting ready to attend a friend’s birthday dinner. The poster had worn a black dress, but when her girlfriend saw what she was wearing, she told her to change it. The woman refused to change, which is when her partner got aggressive. She pulled the poster by her arms, held her face, and kept demanding she change her outfit.
The insecure girlfriend kept making these kinds of demands because she felt that nobody would know they were dating if one of them was feminine-presenting. After attending the dinner, their fight continued when the partner forced the poster to “prove” she liked girls. The author broke down because she didn’t like being forced, and she also had to apologize to her girlfriend.
The aggression that the poster’s girlfriend showed to her signals that something is wrong in their relationship. It is estimated that around 17-45% of lesbians have been a victim of some kind of physical violence from their lesbian partner. When one partner holds this much power, it can be tough for the other to know what to do.
According to Healthline, “these behaviors might stem from jealousy or lack of trust, but they can also suggest a need for control — both of which can contribute to relationship toxicity. Finding yourself constantly on edge, even when you aren’t facing stress from outside sources, is a critical indicator that something’s off.”
The author’s relationship seems to have taken a turn for the worse because of her partner’s problems with her dressing style. The girlfriend’s toxic behavior and her need for control also made the woman doubt herself even more. This post received 13k upvotes and 6.8k comments, with commenters outraged on behalf of the woman. Who do you think was wrong here? Share your point of view in the comments below.
Netizens were concerned for the poster’s safety and felt that the girlfriend was abusive and insecure
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Started off as “sheesh this is dumb lipstick lesbian is a whole thing” and then it got to “she made me "prove" I liked girls” and I’m about ready to crack some heads.
I think the best answer to this post, is to ask "how would you interpret this if the poster's girlfriend was a 6'2 hulking man?" I think very few people these days would fail to acknowledge such behavior by a man is abusive, dangerous...and could lead to much worse. We should view such behavior by a woman as no different just because she's smaller.
As a straight man, girl run as fast as you can. She was basically raped at the end WTAF!!
Yeah, this is not about clothing or hairstyles, it's about control. Ironically this behaviour is enforcing the classic lesbian stereotype of adopting man/woman roles, by mimicking stereotypical male 'dominance' . Sounds like she just hates women. Maybe she's a closet straight who'd prefer a more 'male' partner.
Red Flags. So many. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean it isn't rape/assault/abuse. Time to leave the relationship.
She needs to dump her ASAP. My wife and I have been called lipstick lesbians a few times, but we're the married couple, 18 years and going strong. A lesbian is whoever she wants to be, end of
Transpose it to a hetero relationship and it's clearly abuse. Being gay doesn't give you a free pass on coercive control. The GF should know that orientation and gender expression can be different without being contradictory. Run for the hills, basically.
Dumb old-school neanderthal here TRYING to understand: if you don't like women who look like women are you really a Lesbian, or are you just afraid of men? Is there a term for people who are solely attracted to non-binary people? I'm asking because of the FIVE women who came out to me as the first person they'd ever come out to, THREE of them turned out to be "straight" but had been abused by men, and while I can't believe any of THEM were abusive, the OP's GF seems like she is likely passing on abuse. (A fourth decided she was asexual, but continued to identify as "Lesbian/Queer") (I think they each might have been trying to decide if they were really Lesbian, and chose to ask a guy who would ask questions rather than affirm or condemn.)
Nah, some people just have a type. You can be into femme or masc or androgynous people and your identity is still valid.
Load More Replies... 
"If this was a dude he'd be well on his way to jail." OH SHUT UP. There's ALWAYS one of these idiots in the comments. They always point out the gender discrepancy has if what they're saying is remotely insightful... and yet NEVER point out the sexual, physical, societal, etc dynamics that men have historically held over women. Abuse is abuse but they always completely ignore the overwhelming numbers of men abusing women to the point of hospitalization and even death and THAT's why we treat it differently.
I would honestly question if the boyish girlfriend isn't a trans men in denial. My ex was acting like that, trying to prove how much of a man he is. Except he would make me wear femminine clothes normally. Except for prom, where he was straight up mad that I had A dress on and Highheels because I "wasnt looking like myself" Also my being higher then him made him dysphoric. Once, some dude assumed we were A couple of men, and my ex refused to walk with me. He literally walked like A few meters from me. When I came out as trans as well, he just didnt wanted to be with me. He hated me having any body hair, made me fall into anorexia cause he commented on my weight (I had normal weight) And hear me out. After that, he started dating A Person that is also non Binary and masculine, with A lot of body hair and even a beard. They are quite fat as well. Like literally all the Things he hated in me, just somehow were okay. So yup, maybe thats the case
Started off as “sheesh this is dumb lipstick lesbian is a whole thing” and then it got to “she made me "prove" I liked girls” and I’m about ready to crack some heads.
I think the best answer to this post, is to ask "how would you interpret this if the poster's girlfriend was a 6'2 hulking man?" I think very few people these days would fail to acknowledge such behavior by a man is abusive, dangerous...and could lead to much worse. We should view such behavior by a woman as no different just because she's smaller.
As a straight man, girl run as fast as you can. She was basically raped at the end WTAF!!
Yeah, this is not about clothing or hairstyles, it's about control. Ironically this behaviour is enforcing the classic lesbian stereotype of adopting man/woman roles, by mimicking stereotypical male 'dominance' . Sounds like she just hates women. Maybe she's a closet straight who'd prefer a more 'male' partner.
Red Flags. So many. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean it isn't rape/assault/abuse. Time to leave the relationship.
She needs to dump her ASAP. My wife and I have been called lipstick lesbians a few times, but we're the married couple, 18 years and going strong. A lesbian is whoever she wants to be, end of
Transpose it to a hetero relationship and it's clearly abuse. Being gay doesn't give you a free pass on coercive control. The GF should know that orientation and gender expression can be different without being contradictory. Run for the hills, basically.
Dumb old-school neanderthal here TRYING to understand: if you don't like women who look like women are you really a Lesbian, or are you just afraid of men? Is there a term for people who are solely attracted to non-binary people? I'm asking because of the FIVE women who came out to me as the first person they'd ever come out to, THREE of them turned out to be "straight" but had been abused by men, and while I can't believe any of THEM were abusive, the OP's GF seems like she is likely passing on abuse. (A fourth decided she was asexual, but continued to identify as "Lesbian/Queer") (I think they each might have been trying to decide if they were really Lesbian, and chose to ask a guy who would ask questions rather than affirm or condemn.)
Nah, some people just have a type. You can be into femme or masc or androgynous people and your identity is still valid.
Load More Replies... "If this was a dude he'd be well on his way to jail." OH SHUT UP. There's ALWAYS one of these idiots in the comments. They always point out the gender discrepancy has if what they're saying is remotely insightful... and yet NEVER point out the sexual, physical, societal, etc dynamics that men have historically held over women. Abuse is abuse but they always completely ignore the overwhelming numbers of men abusing women to the point of hospitalization and even death and THAT's why we treat it differently.
I would honestly question if the boyish girlfriend isn't a trans men in denial. My ex was acting like that, trying to prove how much of a man he is. Except he would make me wear femminine clothes normally. Except for prom, where he was straight up mad that I had A dress on and Highheels because I "wasnt looking like myself" Also my being higher then him made him dysphoric. Once, some dude assumed we were A couple of men, and my ex refused to walk with me. He literally walked like A few meters from me. When I came out as trans as well, he just didnt wanted to be with me. He hated me having any body hair, made me fall into anorexia cause he commented on my weight (I had normal weight) And hear me out. After that, he started dating A Person that is also non Binary and masculine, with A lot of body hair and even a beard. They are quite fat as well. Like literally all the Things he hated in me, just somehow were okay. So yup, maybe thats the case
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