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Wife Tired Of Sharing Her Husband With His Work-Wife, Finally Gives Him A “Her Or Me” Ultimatum
Woman refusing to be third wheel in marriage, holding coffee, confronting husband about work-wife relationship.

Wife Tired Of Sharing Her Husband With His Work-Wife, Finally Gives Him A “Her Or Me” Ultimatum

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Let’s be real: nobody wants their marriage undermined by an outsider. It jeopardizes the bond you have with your spouse and could even threaten the whole relationship. Nobody needs that noise, especially when you’re supposed to be sticking to your vows.

One woman turned to an online community to vent after her husband’s coworker started crossing all kinds of boundaries, calling him day and night about the most arbitrary things. She finally snapped but now wonders if putting her foot down was a jerk move.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Having a work spouse seems like the norm these days, but there are some lines you just don’t cross

    Woman and man in office hallway sharing coffee, depicting marital tension and the concept of work-wife rivalry.

    Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    One woman’s husband, a maintenance supervisor for an office block, struck up a friendship with a new female hire

    Text excerpt explaining a woman confronting her husband about his inappropriate work-wife relationship affecting their marriage.

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    Woman refuses to be third wheel in marriage, demands husband choose between her and work-wife conflict.

    Text about woman refusing to be third wheel in marriage, demanding husband choose between her and work-wife conflict.

    Man in a white helmet and navy uniform focused on work, highlighting the tension between marriage and work-wife issues.

    Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Before long, the coworker was calling him up at all hours of the day and night, demanding his immediate attention over the smallest of tasks

    Text describing a woman refusing to be a third wheel in her marriage as her husband’s work-wife flirts and claims his seat.

    Text excerpt about a woman refusing to be the third wheel in her marriage, confronting husband over work-wife issues.

    Text excerpt about a woman confronting her husband over inappropriate closeness with a work-wife in their marriage.

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    Woman refusing to be third wheel in marriage, wearing Santa hats at holiday party with friends holding drinks.

    Image credits: daria_lukoiko / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    After the coworker acted like a jealous girlfriend at the company Christmas party, the woman finally snapped, demanding that her husband make his choice

    Text about woman refusing to be a third wheel in her marriage due to husband's work-wife calling and texting nonstop.

    Text message about husband refusing to act as personal maintenance man, highlighting relationship conflict with work-wife.

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    Text excerpt discussing a woman confronting her husband about his work-wife and refusing to be a third wheel in their marriage.

    Woman refuses to be third wheel in marriage, confronting husband about choosing between her and work-wife.

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Her husband told her she was overreacting, and followed it up by saying that his coworker was harmless

    Text image showing a woman expressing discomfort about her husband giving his personal phone number, highlighting relationship boundaries.

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    Text excerpt about a woman refusing to be the third wheel in her marriage, addressing her husband’s divided loyalty.

    Woman refuses to be third wheel in marriage, demands husband choose between her and work-wife situation.

    Image credits: coworkerthrowaway999

    At her wits’ end, the woman turned to netizens to ask if laying down an ultimatum with her husband was a jerk move

    The original poster (OP) shares how her husband’s new coworker, Tabitha, turned a harmless workplace intro into a full-blown obsession. What started as routine maintenance requests quickly became daily calls and boundary-pushing behavior. At the company Christmas party, Tabitha blatantly flirted, shamelessly trying to separate the couple all night.

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    According to OP, the “work-wife” refused to let maintenance staff handle simple tasks, insisting her husband personally fix every tiny issue. She’d grab his hand, shove past OP, and act possessive whenever she was around. Despite these glaring red flags, her husband brushed it off, insisting Tabitha was harmless.

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    But things escalated fast. After moving to a new house, Tabitha started calling and texting him nonstop for chores, repairs, and favors she could easily handle herself. She had his personal number, and he kept responding, convinced he was simply helping a friend, instead of enabling dodgy behavior. OP wasn’t convinced.

    Finally, she hit her hard limit when Tabitha called at 2AM about her heating, and her husband planned to rush over after work. OP broke down, told him boundaries mattered, and that she wouldn’t be a third wheel in her own marriage. Now she’s asking the internet if she’s overreacting or rightfully concerned.

    Woman refuses to be third wheel in marriage, discussing with husband while he fixes kitchen plumbing together

    Image credits: gstockstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Honestly, the situation sounds sketchy as heck. While OP’s husband might be too dense to see what’s going on, Tabitha’s behavior tells a different story. No wonder OP can’t take it anymore. But what’s the deal with work spouses anyway? We went looking for the lowdown.

    The pros over at Psychology Today say a work spouse is a rare gem that can help make a challenging workplace more manageable and a positive work environment something extra special. Having a work spouse can be a great benefit to organizations too, for example, by influencing greater levels of employee commitment and collaboration.  

    Work spouses often function as a team and can protect each other, anticipating info or actions that are potentially hurtful or harsh. They also provide an outlet for venting frustrations, celebrating wins, and navigating the twists and turns of organizational dynamics.

    That’s all fine and good, but what about when boundaries blur? Writing for Healthline, Crystal Raypole says you can generally tell emotional infidelity apart from simple friendship because your interactions involve some intimate tension and even physical attraction. This kind of attachment may not seem like a big deal at first, but emotional cheating can start to dissolve the fabric of your actual spousal relationship.

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    Well, either OP’s husband is truly oblivious to Tabitha’s advances, or he’s hiding the true nature of their relationship. Either way, we’d say OP should go with her gut and stick to her guns, before things slide even further out of control.

    What’s your take? Do you think there’s something underhanded going on, or is OP overreacting? Drop your thoughts in the comments! 

    In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the original poster was not being a jerk for being suspicious and that her husband was either truly oblivious or having an affair

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    Poll Question

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole "work wife" / "work husband" thing is just ridiculous in itself.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, the commenters are right, she's not married to a catch - he's either thick as a brick or a cheat. Either way, he doesn't care about his wife's feelings.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    What? He and his wife went HR to talk about the problem and it’s resolved. Why are people saying she should dump him? Have people not read the whole thing? After her profession of love, they went to HR and it never escalated and now things are good, for those of you who couldn’t/didn’t finish it.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP refers to the previous year as pre-plagur times, which means he was going over during lockdown, so hopefully she told him to stay there and ride the plague out with someone who can't fix a coat hook instead of exposing hisnwife to Covid

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if OP packed up hubby's stuff so he could go live with his work wife? OP clearly told him - "Please do not do this" and he did it anyway. I agree - either he's *really* dense or he's hoping OP will leave him + he can play the victim.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Ah, geez; finish reading it. It’s resolved!

    Load More Replies...
    Miss Ann Thrope
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's cheating with her, or wants to cheat with her. He likes the attention or he would put a stop to it. They need marriage counseling pronto.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Finish reading it. It’s over. They told HR. Everything’s good now.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bozo needs to stop. OP has been exceptionally clear.

    Gaius214
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These posts from years previous are a drain on my soul, which is already just hanging on by a chad. I barely still care about Thanksgiving ,with all the kids, their partners /spouses, delicious food & a terrible Lions loss. I definitely care more about the scratch chili from last night vs this nonsense....come on B.P.!

    Jonas Fisher
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the heart of all of this might come down to the guy feeling like 1. This woman doesn't have a crush on him (though to be clear, based on what OP said, he's wrong); 2. It doesn't matter if she has a crush. The second one is debatable. OP doesn't have to interact with this woman almost ever, so if she can get her husband to chill on the home visits, I don't see why it matters.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    3 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Pre-Covid. Everyone has moved on. So should you, BP.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You should move on from your whining; it’s REALLY gotten old. “Work spouses” are still a thing, and people still need to deal with em. And least this one’s been dealt with satisfactorily.

    Load More Replies...
    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole "work wife" / "work husband" thing is just ridiculous in itself.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, the commenters are right, she's not married to a catch - he's either thick as a brick or a cheat. Either way, he doesn't care about his wife's feelings.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    What? He and his wife went HR to talk about the problem and it’s resolved. Why are people saying she should dump him? Have people not read the whole thing? After her profession of love, they went to HR and it never escalated and now things are good, for those of you who couldn’t/didn’t finish it.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP refers to the previous year as pre-plagur times, which means he was going over during lockdown, so hopefully she told him to stay there and ride the plague out with someone who can't fix a coat hook instead of exposing hisnwife to Covid

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if OP packed up hubby's stuff so he could go live with his work wife? OP clearly told him - "Please do not do this" and he did it anyway. I agree - either he's *really* dense or he's hoping OP will leave him + he can play the victim.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Ah, geez; finish reading it. It’s resolved!

    Load More Replies...
    Miss Ann Thrope
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's cheating with her, or wants to cheat with her. He likes the attention or he would put a stop to it. They need marriage counseling pronto.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Finish reading it. It’s over. They told HR. Everything’s good now.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bozo needs to stop. OP has been exceptionally clear.

    Gaius214
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These posts from years previous are a drain on my soul, which is already just hanging on by a chad. I barely still care about Thanksgiving ,with all the kids, their partners /spouses, delicious food & a terrible Lions loss. I definitely care more about the scratch chili from last night vs this nonsense....come on B.P.!

    Jonas Fisher
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the heart of all of this might come down to the guy feeling like 1. This woman doesn't have a crush on him (though to be clear, based on what OP said, he's wrong); 2. It doesn't matter if she has a crush. The second one is debatable. OP doesn't have to interact with this woman almost ever, so if she can get her husband to chill on the home visits, I don't see why it matters.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    3 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Pre-Covid. Everyone has moved on. So should you, BP.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You should move on from your whining; it’s REALLY gotten old. “Work spouses” are still a thing, and people still need to deal with em. And least this one’s been dealt with satisfactorily.

    Load More Replies...
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