I’m A Wildlife Vet: 10 Ridiculous But True Parts Of My Job, Including Using Calvin Klein To Catch Leopards

In parts of Africa, painting large eyes on the backsides of cattle helps deter lions. If a lion thinks it’s been spotted, it’s far less likely to attack.

This simple trick dramatically reduces livestock losses and prevents retaliatory killings of lions. It’s low-tech conservation at its cleverest.

High-tech monitors don’t always make it into the field. But you know what does? A vet’s Apple Watch.

We strap them onto a chimp’s arm, hold them against a crocodile’s chest, or rest them on a lion’s tongue under anaesthesia. They pick up heart rate and oxygen levels surprisingly well — and can be the difference between guessing and knowing what’s going on inside a very large, very asleep animal.

Chimps are brilliant, emotional, and absolutely capable of holding grudges. If a chimp recognises the vet who darted them last month, they won’t forget — and they’re notorious for throwing the dart right back at you with frighteningly good aim.

To avoid retribution, vets sometimes wear disguises or use a medication at the start of a procedure that blocks memory formation. It’s part medicine, part Mission Impossible… and all necessary.

Wildlife prosthetics have transformed the lives of countless animals: toucans with 3D-printed beaks, elephants with prosthetic legs after landmine injuries, turtles with custom-designed flippers.

These devices often mean the difference between lifelong suffering, euthanasia, or a return to the wild — and the engineering behind them is nothing short of incredible.

A torn butterfly wing might look like the end of the road — but with patience, magnification, and the tiniest dab of glue, you can repair it. These delicate surgeries help injured butterflies continue pollinating and doing their vital ecological work.

It’s fiddly, joyful, and one of the gentlest things you can possibly imagine doing as a vet.

Fish skin, especially from species like tilapia, is full of collagen and makes an incredible natural bandage for burns and severe wounds. I’ve used it on everything from sloths to koalas.

It’s wild, yes, but it works. The collagen encourages healing, offers protection, and even reduces pain. Nature helping nature.

Echidnas are obsessed with ants. They’re basically walking, spiky vacuum cleaners. So imagine the shock when Matilda, an echidna at Melbourne Zoo, turned out to be allergic to them.

After months of allergy injections (and a very patient care team), she was able to enjoy her favourite snack again — hive-free.

When your patient weighs more than a car and needs relocating across rugged terrain, sometimes the safest option is a literal airlift. After sedation, the rhino is carefully slung beneath a helicopter and flown to safety or to a new reserve.

Beyond looking like an action scene from a movie, these airlifts can be life-saving — helping protect rhinos from poaching hotspots and supporting critical genetic diversity.

Yes, really. Jaguars, leopards, and other big cats go wild for Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. Researchers spray it onto vegetation to lure cats toward camera traps or into safe research enclosures.

It’s quirky, but it helps conservationists track endangered cats, monitor their health, and protect the habitats they need to survive (and if you’re on safari, maybe skip wearing it).

Catching giraffes in the wild is controlled chaos — and surprisingly athletic. After sedation, a trained capture team runs alongside the animal with ropes, guiding it safely to the ground. One person gently holds the giraffe’s neck still to keep it calm.

If you don’t hop off quickly enough when it stands… well, you might find yourself briefly airborne, like one unfortunate colleague of mine. (He was fine — and he still hasn’t lived it down.)