“What Have You Seen Inside Someone’s Home That Made You View Them Differently?” (30 Answers)
Humans are built to size each other up quickly. These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, including facial features, vocal inflection, and general emotional state. Often people get attached to their initial opinions of others and find it difficult to change their minds.
But every now and then we are presented with such convincing evidence to the contrary that we just have to. For example, when we visit the place that they live in! From cleanliness and colors to photos and decor, it can convey a lot of information.
A few days ago, Reddit user WANACWaac asked everyone on the platform to describe the moment they saw something in another person's home that made them view the owner of the space in a completely new light.
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Trick or treating as a kid we were always scared to go to one neighbor’s house. The yard, nor home, was well kept. Stories circulated the neighborhood for years that he was a mean man, had killed his family, etc. As a dare I ran up and rang the doorbell and as I tried to run away an older gentleman opened the door..he said ‘I don’t get many kids nowadays, Happy Halloween!’ and held out a bowl of yummy candy bars. I peeked in and it was a meticulously kept home on the inside. A little candle lit, neatly folded blankets and magazines next to his lazy boy chair. He was so kind. I believe his kids were grown and had moved away, wife had passed away years ago. Made me not believe the rumors that get started about people.
I'm a CSI. I went to a residential burglary when I used to work at an agency in North Carolina.
The homeowners were in their 70s. Their house was your typical grandparent's place with lace doilies everywhere, flowers, and photos all over the walls of the entire extended family. A table near his chair with hunting and fishing magazines. A table near her chair with knitting needles and yarn. The whole 9 yards you'd expect to see at grandma and grandpa's house.
As the lady was showing me around with the officer to tell me what was stolen or moved I came to a slightly ajar door next to the master bedroom suite. I asked her if anything had been moved in there. She said she wasn't sure since she had called the police the moment they had gotten home from church and realized their house had been broken into. I elbowed open the door. Full on sex dungeon room. We're talking sex swing, hooks on the ceilings with ropes, restraints on boards nailed to the wall, cuffs, paddles, floggers, strapon harnesses on hooks, ball gags of various sizes, video camera on a tripod, you name it. She looked around, put her hand on her chest and with what seemed a sigh of relief said "No. Thank you lawd! It looks like nothing was touched in here."
I will never look at an old woman in a peter pan collar and flower patterned dress the same now.
Woman I nannied for had a very messy house but she always looked so put together in public. She had 6 kids and always said “don’t judge me, our house is ‘lived in’”. Made me realize it was ok not to ruin your life over a perfect image house as long as everyone and everything was functioning.
One family I went to visit had a room in their house that was set up for a college kid. Posters, tv, some weights, computer desk, even a half empty cologne bottle on the desk. I asked them what college their son went to and they immediately changed the subject and the mom looked down and away. They said the room is rented out. I later found out their son could not get into the college he wanted and decided to take his own life. They left his room exactly as it last was.
I still think about them.
A girl I hung out with in college had me over to study together. We didn't have dorms, we lived close enough to just walk to college, so it was at her house. I saw this little colorful urn on her tv stand and I said "oh, thats a pretty pot", she got this really sad smile and replied "thanks...that's my daughter." I felt so bad.
I did home visits for students from poverty. Some were refugees, others were here on asylum, or farm work programs. Wow. Were their houses clean. Mopped and dusted daily. Gardens were immaculate. Kitchens well organized. I guess I expected their homes to look like the homes of poor Americans, but nope. They treated their new homes in America like castles and welcomed our visits.
I’ve seen this often. People who have been through really bad things are so grateful for what they have now. It always reminds me to never take what we have for granted.
Was dating a girl for a couple of weeks and went to hang out with a couple she was close friends with. We are at their house, hanging out, and having a pretty good time. They seemed pretty cool. The guy starts talking about the iguanas they have and asked if i wanted to see them. They had a separate room for them. We go in there, see the big cages with lizards. They were very impressive. And the big f*****g Ku Klux Klan posters on the wall next to them. I made an excuse to leave their home soon after. My girlfriend asked what was wrong, and I explained what I saw. She knew and didn't think it was any big deal. It ended that relationship as well.
Their Labrador in a crate so small it could only turn around with great difficulty. The crate was anchored to the wall, because otherwise the dog would thrash around in the crate until it shook and moved across the floor.
I asked if the dog had done something wrong to be put in timeout in the crate, like chewing up some shoes? My(ex) friend said no, that’s just where the dog lived for the most part. It got out every so often to eat or toilet in the yard, but all other times of day and night it was crated. Their reasoning was that when they let it out the crate, it was too hyper and destructive. Probably cause it spent its whole life stuck in a tiny f*****g box!
I argued with the friend and left the house on bad terms. I did phone an animal rights hotline but was told there wasn’t anything they could do. Since the dog was technically provided food, shelter, and decently hygienic conditions it wasn’t illegal to crate them near constantly, even though the org agreed it was neglectful/abusive.
That sucks, I'm so glad it's illegal in my country to keep dogs in crates like this. (It's actually illegal to have a crate for your dog in your home unless it has the door removed. The law is mostly there to make it easier to take away abused dogs from their owner, if you have a happy healthy pup no ones going to care if you have a crate with a door in your home. We have a few such laws about animal care that may sound extreme but they are only enforced if the animal is abused, just to avoid situations like the one above where "technically they're not breaking any laws")
When my friend and his wife could always afford new shoes/outfits and nights out with miscellaneous substances but their kids slept on a mattress on the floor with no sheets...like ... Where are your priorities?!
A dude I had a crush on didn’t put sheets on his bed. It was so gross and weird. His mattress was all dirty and I couldn’t imagine how it would ever get clean. I couldn’t get past it and it didn’t work out lol.
Hygiene is a dealbreaker for me. No matter what other qualities they have, there's no redeeming if they're not clean.
A married couple, both medical doctors, with kids. They had one of those tall, giant outdoor propane heaters, in their living room. You know the kind they have for outdoor seating at restaurants? One of those. In their living room. Running on propane. No fans, no open windows. I told them they need to knock that s**t off.
Carbon monoxide detector, at very least. Smoke detectors, for sure. There are gas infrared heaters designed for indoor installation, but a patio heater is not, shall we say, an intelligent choice!
A sandbox in the middle of the living room. There were Tonka Trucks and toys and cigarette butts in it. Then came the cat. Ugh.
Super popular, rich kid in high school. Drove a BMW, had a huge house and both of his parents were doctors. Went to a party at his house one night and was absolutely horrified by the filth they lived in. There was dog s**t and p**s absolutely everywhere in the house and little chihuahuas running around. Then there were even more dogs stacked on top of each other in crates in the garage. I was so stunned and disgusted I couldn’t even have fun and was just horrified for the animals, and him because he obviously thought this was all normal. And because he was cool people weren’t saying anything. All I could think was “holy s**t if this is what his house looks like when he KNOWS people are coming over, what the f**k does it normally look like”?!? I still feel terrible for those dogs and wish I had told an adult who could have helped them 😔.
Honestly? A big confederate flag hanging the entire span of their dining room wall. Their business, but I drew the line when they said the pledge of allegiance to it. Like?
I go into multiple homes every week. For the most part, people are clean and what I’d call normal.
Then we have the people whose animals don’t get let outside often enough, or the litter boxes aren’t cleaned often enough. Or the children have the run of the home, and no one cleans for them. That’s all normal to some people.
We also have a large group of people who collect odd things, or old things. They can’t let go of the past, or of great grandma’s tarnished brass. That’s also normal to some.
The worst, to me, are the hoarders. With just a pathway leading to a tight space for one, they expect me to adapt to their living conditions while finding a place to sign multiple documents. Some claim to be remodeling. Others claim to be moving in or out. It’s obvious their claims are untrue.
But what gets me about these hoarders, is that if they aren’t sick and in bed on the final days, they are business professionals who walk right next to others, looking tidy and clean. They are doctors and nurses, they are attorneys, accountants, and some even own multiple properties across the country.
I’ve learned that we really don’t know a person until we’ve seen their home.
Hoarding is a trauma reaction. Something happened in their life that will not allow them to let go of things. This is a mental health issue and should be treated as such, but for many people, a visible sign of mental illness is grounds for ridicule and derision. My niece is a hoarder due to childhood trauma. She is in therapy and occasionally needs help when she gets overwhelmed. Getting rid of something can cause a massive meltdown because there are memories attached to each thing, even if is broken, or hasn’t been seen in a long time. I don’t think people watching those hoarder shows on TV really understand how living like this takes a mental toll on the hoarders themselves, and the internalized shame they feel.
They didn’t own soap, like, no soap at all anywhere in their house.
Once when I was a kid I was invited to stay over for dinner at a friend's house. My friend's mother poured a large quantity of ketchup into a cereal bowl, which the entire family all casually dipped their fingers into and licked throughout the meal.
Pills.... all over the floor. Every room I went to had random pills on the ground. I picked them up and put them in a zip lock when I was watching their cats. I let them know and they didn't seem to care. Watched their cats again months later and again found pills all over the place. So bizarre.
Went over to my best (at the time) friend's house, hadn't been by in a while. She had two young children (I think they were both under 5). But she was a stay at home mom and her husband worked full time. I walked in the door and their house was COMPLETELY TRASHED. You could barely see the living room floor, there was a big box by the front door completely filled with dirty diapers. The wood floor was fully ruined. Dishes everywhere. Like, I get two kids is a lot of work, but what the f**k do you do all day? I'd known her since we were win elementary school. Her mom had THREE kids and their house was basically spotless, and her mom made them help clean so it wasn't like she had no idea how to clean or grew up around filth. I'd been best friends with this woman for over a decade at the time I was seeing her house like this, and I almost called CPS. That's how bad it was. While I sat on the fence debating whether or not to call CPS, her mother-in-law ended up doing it. CPS was involved in their lives for years after that, it was so sad to watch.
A carpeted bathroom that also contains a gun safe, wine glasses, a wine fridge, board games and snacks.
I better appreciated that a friend of mine was badly depressed when I saw how messy his home was. I wanted to let him know if he needed anything Id do my best to help, but I dont wanna just say, "Hey sad-a*s, lemme help!".
Stayed the night at this girl's house and got up early to make some breakfast. I'm riffleing though the cabinets looking for salt and pepper to add to my eggs. Come to find out this lady has no spices in her house. None. Not even salt. Like what?!
Oh man, can you imagine being the one to introduce someone to salt? You would be a hero.
I had a roommate once that went away for a bit, and while he was gone we went in the basement for something and discovered that he and his best friend were making paper mache molds of each other’s bodies… like… dozens of them. Full body casts all over the basement. It was very unsettling.
My husband’s aunt is white and is married to a black man. When you enter their house, there is an entire wall with a painted velvet canvas of a beautiful black woman in her full glory, boobs, pubic hair and all. When you sat in the living room, well, she was there.
That's what some art looks like. Not every culture is horrified by nudity.
I was once a bartender in an affluent area. I would occasionally get invited to after parties with the regulars. More than once I saw a large home barely furnished as in multiple rooms we're completely empty and they just lived in maybe two rooms of the house. It appears that these people would buy and even rent the homes, to put on the look.
I did maintenance for apartments. One had crushed velvet everything. And a shrine to Tupac with the centerpiece being a statue of Tupac as Jesus.
-The dirtiest bathroom I have ever seen.
-The cleanest anything I have ever seen. Everything had plastic covers to keep it clean. The couch had plastic covers, the rugs, chairs in the kitchen, hand rails on the stairs. Everything. I was around 9 and went to dinner and watch TV at this kid's house. He asked his mom if 'we' could take the plastic off the couch to watch TV. Mom brought out clean pajamas for us both. Mom explained that everyone gets so dirty in that house. They have to wear pajamas mom has clean and ready if they want to sit on the couch. When dad came home and saw the cover off the couch, he got his clean pajamas too and joined us. Weirdest kcufing people! The older kids and dad all worked on cars and engines and were always covered in grease.
That last one seems reasonable. If the older kids and dad all worked on cars/engines, and were always covered in grease, it makes sense that everything would get dirty fast.
Black mold in the shower. It was our fifth date, I think, he was a nice guy, very smart and kind, and I went to his apartment that he shared with a roommate. The whole place was a pit but when I saw that shower I knew I had to call things off. Luckily the Covid lockdown started a couple days later and we just stopped texting each other.
"Luckily the Covid lockdown started...." is not something I'm used to reading.
Went on a date with this smoking hot woman. We instantly hit it off and had a great night. She ended up inviting me back to her condo and when we sat down in her living room I noticed a set of binoculars on her side table so I asked what they were for. Her response was something like,
“Sometime I just like to look into peoples places and see what they’re up to.”
Completely weirded me out. Still smashed though.
Her toddler chewing on a used douche applicator.
Note: this post originally had 50 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I'm gay and my husband and I were friendly with a straight couple we'd see out every now and then. They live like a mile from us. They know we're gay. They know my husband is half black. One snowy night, they hit us up out of the blue to come over for an impromptu game night and drinks. Just the fours of us. So we head over and we're having a great time. I went to use the bathroom and it was near their bedroom. As I was walking out of the bathroom, the guy was walking into the bedroom and there was a wall size confederate flag that was basically the headboard to their bed. We live in New England. The guy looked back and realized I saw it. He quickly closed the door behind him. I went back into the bathroom and texted my husband about it and said when I come back out we're getting our s**t and leaving. I had a bad feeling about it and was wondering if they had lured us there. We bolted ASAP.
The kept texting us asking why we left. Finally my husband called the wife and told her. They both swore it was just a decoration to which my husband said, "It's a racist/homophobic symbol and people who believe in it don't believe my husband I are even human or have a right to exist. When that couple broke up, the wife confessed that her ex was both racist and homophobic, but he liked us because we come off more as tough guys than gay guys and we told her to f**k off and we've never spoken to either of them again.
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I'm gay and my husband and I were friendly with a straight couple we'd see out every now and then. They live like a mile from us. They know we're gay. They know my husband is half black. One snowy night, they hit us up out of the blue to come over for an impromptu game night and drinks. Just the fours of us. So we head over and we're having a great time. I went to use the bathroom and it was near their bedroom. As I was walking out of the bathroom, the guy was walking into the bedroom and there was a wall size confederate flag that was basically the headboard to their bed. We live in New England. The guy looked back and realized I saw it. He quickly closed the door behind him. I went back into the bathroom and texted my husband about it and said when I come back out we're getting our s**t and leaving. I had a bad feeling about it and was wondering if they had lured us there. We bolted ASAP.
The kept texting us asking why we left. Finally my husband called the wife and told her. They both swore it was just a decoration to which my husband said, "It's a racist/homophobic symbol and people who believe in it don't believe my husband I are even human or have a right to exist. When that couple broke up, the wife confessed that her ex was both racist and homophobic, but he liked us because we come off more as tough guys than gay guys and we told her to f**k off and we've never spoken to either of them again.
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