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A good way to approach dating is to consider what you bring to the table (sometimes literally) but way too often, people think that they can put in zero effort and get their dream partner just because they feel like it.

So we’ve gathered some of the best posts from this Facebook group dedicated to men vastly overestimating their market value and getting shamed for it online. Get comfortable as you scroll through, brace yourself for some truly hot takes, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own stories and examples in the comments down below.

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    #2

    Social media post discussing male loneliness epidemic and personal responsibility

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Luke || Kira (he/she)
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like that principal Skinner meme. "Am I lonely because I'm an unlikable, misogynistic loser? No, it's my chin angle."

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    There is a well-documented psychological phenomenon called the Lake Wobegon effect, named after Garrison Keillor's fictional town where "all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average." The idea is simple: most people believe they are above average in ways that are statistically impossible.

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    Research published by psychological scientists has consistently shown that this bias is particularly strong in men when it comes to self-assessed attractiveness and social desirability. The dating market, as it turns out, is one of the sharpest mirrors this bias has ever been held up to.

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    Data from dating apps tells a story that many men would rather not hear. A widely circulated analysis of OKCupid's own user data found that women rated approximately 80 percent of men as below average in attractiveness. Men, meanwhile, rated women on a much more even bell curve.

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    #8

    Screenshot of tweet about girlfriend failing relationship test and breakup with market value keyword

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    merlin
    Community Member
    12 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You deserve to be single. What you're looking for is a maid and not a gf

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    This is not necessarily a statement about physical looks alone. It reflects the full package that women are evaluating, including how a man presents himself, communicates, and carries himself in a profile. The gap between how men perceive themselves and how they are actually perceived is not a small rounding error. It is enormous.

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    Part of the reason for this gap is that men are rarely given honest feedback. Social dynamics tend to protect male egos in ways that do not extend equally to women. A man who strikes out repeatedly may be told he is "too good for her" or that women "don't know what they're missing," rather than receiving any constructive insight.

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    #15

    Twitter post about ex-wife's change after divorce with market value context

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's see, what was the catalyst for the change? Hmm... what got removed from her life? Hmm... a mystery indeed! XD

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    This absence of honest mirrors means that unrealistic self-assessments go unchallenged for years, sometimes decades. Psychologists refer to this as a feedback vacuum, and dating coaches have written about it extensively. There is also a cultural script problem. Many men grew up absorbing media that told them the average, everyday guy was entitled to a partner who looked like a movie star, as long as he was funny or had a good heart.

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    #16

    Dating profile self-summary about open relationships and postpartum jail period explained

    This is probably the most disgusting interaction I've ever had with a man. I didn't just see red, I was transported straight to hell

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Val
    Community Member
    12 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Recovering from making a human, how rude of us to feel pain.

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    #18

    Man responds with face selfie to comment on conservative and liberal women attractiveness

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Luke || Kira (he/she)
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really hate to generalize like this, but it's almost 100% from my experience that progressive women are STRIKINGLY beautiful, easy-going and with contagious zest for life, while conservative women seem to always look like someone farted straight into their faces (even though they're not even really ugly per se).

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    Romantic comedies, sitcoms, and advertising spent decades reinforcing the idea that men of middling effort deserved exceptional reward. That script is deeply embedded. When reality does not match the movie, it is far easier to blame the dating market or women's standards than to examine one's own expectations or presentation.

    #19

    Tweet listing strict criteria a man wants in a girl highlighting market value confusion

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Steinem Sukker Rumpe
    Community Member
    13 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if such a woman did exist, she wouldnt be looking twice at a babydick like this. Some men really do be thinking they can order up a wife like toppings on a pizza.

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    #20

    Tweet about daughters, parenting, and competition among men for women

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wouldn't that just teach the daughter that men can be horrible, controlling, and cruel, and teach her independence and the value of hard work and of providing for herself? XD It seems to me that those are all qualities/lessons that these kinds of men wouldn't want the women to learn XD

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    Social media has added an entirely new layer of distortion. Algorithms reward confident, even outrageous self-presentation, and some men mistake online bravado for real-world desirability. Watching certain content creators perform supreme confidence while attracting attention can create a warped benchmark.

    #22

    Close-up of unique black tile flooring with scalloped patterns causing installation issues

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Flat_Alien
    Community Member
    7 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trev, the amount of people who care about what you have to say is exactly 0%

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    #24

    Dating profile of a man talking about being casual and honest about mismatches

    Cheating on his wife and admitting he’s mass swiping without thinking while hiding his face… Don’t all line up at once! Women, stop giving these guys your bodies (if anyone is even up to that nonsense). It is our herd responsibility to let them go extinct

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    It becomes easy to believe that simply existing and declaring one's worth is enough, without doing the actual work of becoming a genuinely attractive, emotionally available, and growth-oriented partner.

    What behavioral economists call "overconfidence bias" is measurably higher in men than in women across a range of domains. Dating is simply one arena where this plays out with particularly visible and sometimes embarrassing results. When a man who brings very little to the table arrives with a checklist longer than a lease agreement, it is not a mystery rooted in some deep market failure.

    It is a predictable outcome of unchallenged overconfidence colliding with a world that finally has enough data to push back. The good news is that awareness is the beginning of recalibration. Understanding why the gap exists is genuinely useful, both for the men willing to reflect honestly and for everyone else trying to make sense of what they are witnessing on their timelines every single day.

    #35

    Profile description seeking loyal white woman and commitment in dating profile

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Luke || Kira (he/she)
    Community Member
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do I have a feeling that food isn't the only thing where "he finishes 20 minutes before anyone else"

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    #36

    Screenshot of dating chat about personal questions and relationship doubts

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    KatInAHat
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm sorry, you seem far too intelligent and self-assured to tolerate my nonsense."

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    #38

    Screenshot of a conversation about hymen myths and virginity value

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Kristiina Männiste
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soo girls cant ride bikes any more. Gee.. do I still get to drive my car or will my uterus fly out from the speed?

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    #40

    Social media rant about dating becoming transactional and personal dating experiences

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    NightOwlPanda
    Community Member
    12 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did he need any lesson in not dating women younger than his children?

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    #43

    Comment saying women can't make decisions and shouldn't vote on a man

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, OP made the decision about how his facial hair would look, and that alone tells me that he isn't intelligent enough to make decisions, so he shouldn't vote either.

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    #44

    Tweet listing reasons how a woman's rating can change instantly

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    11 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You missed your chance at ever dating someone who isn't a complete bore with no identity and no self esteem.

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    #45

    Dating profile of Mark, 29, seeking short-term fun and discreet connections

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    4 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, at least he's honest about what he's looking for, I guess? Though it sounds like his partner has no idea what he's up to, which is obviously s****y. Also sounds like he might be better off on Fetlife than on a dating app, though...

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    #48

    Protest sign with vintage image and text about making women meek modest and submissive

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Men like this conveniently ignore the last segment of 1 Peter 3:7: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

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    #52

    Social media chat displaying awkward communication about market value

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Fire Singer
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know the full context here but her waiting for him to "be a man" and message first is just as much a red flag. Sorry.

    #53

    Text post advising about sincere approach in dating and market value

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Optimus Octopus
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a coworker who kept getting advice like that. He got fired for s****l harassment.

    #54

    Dating profile screenshot showing controversial personal beliefs

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who is seriously turned off by a man not being able to write words correctly??

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    #56

    Social media post questioning women's self-respect and market value

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    11 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These people cannot make their tiny minds up. Either you're "too frigid" and refusing to put out or you're "an indecent slvt who needs to cover herself".

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    #59

    Tweet outlining a critical timeline of modern women's life, linked to confused market value narrative

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang. I must not be very modern. I had one boyfriend throughout my entire 20s, dated only one guy before him, and dated only one guy after him (in my 30s.) 44 now, no children, no tattoos, not religious, don't believe in God, definitely not the person who should be life-coaching others XD If I'm not a "modern woman", what am I? A cavewoman?

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    #63

    Dating profile of ApexPursuit 42 about confident ideal match and energy after first date with market value keyword

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Karma Black
    Community Member
    11 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like something from a $h1tty supermarket romance novel.

    #65

    Screenshot of a text message apologizing for leaving a trivia game early to avoid ruining others' fun

    I hate men…

    I invited a guy out SECOND date to a trivia night. He said he would love to go.

    We get In the car. Mind you our last date was a week ago, only texting since then.

    So I say “I haven’t seen you in some time, I’m happy you decided to go.” He proceededs to say “ya well it’s only been a couple of days since our last date. I just met you” (like boy get out of my car🙄) then tells me “if my social battery runs out I’ll have to leave.” Which I assume means he will let me know… and we will leave..

    He seemed really anxious when we arrived so I said: “you seem anxious, are you ok?”

    He said: “No, but you seem anxious.” (Ya.. BC YOUR MAKING ME ANXIOUS-)

    We sit down with a group of people we planned to meet up with, it was like a social group, I’m chatting these people up, he doesn’t say a word to me. We sit for not even 5 min, he gets up, introduced himself to another member of the group. Then left without a word. About an hour later I get this message.

    I drove him here… idk how he got home. Why men bro? Why do you think it’s socially acceptable to leave without a word on A DATE? Let’s just say I stopped swiping today.

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's absolutely valid and okay to have massive anxiety and to not be able to handle a social situation. Plus OP describes it as a "date"... but they were meeting up with a group of people for trivia night? That's more of a hangout, not a date, IMO. Of course the guy should have been an adult and told OP he had to leave, but it's okay to be overwhelmed by a social situation. Perhaps the guy thought he could handle it, but got overwhelmed once he was in the situation itself. Again, that is okay and valid, but he definitely should have at least told OP he couldn't handle it and had to leave.

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    #66

    Text message conversation about confusion on current market value and relationship expectations

    We matched on Tinder earlier this week. I told him a little about me and said we probably wouldn't work out because we seem to have different hobbies and status in life. He said he didn't really see it that way but we could probably be friends with benefits. He texts me yesterday around 2 pm and I respond, then don't answer for the rest of the night. The next day in the afternoon he's messaging me upset because I haven't contacted him in 24 hours. I don't message fwb everyday, but I have been answering everyday! Just not enough apparently.

    Cut to him saying "I'll just leave you alone." Instead of answering my questions meant to clarify the situation and what I'm missing. I think the answer is that he wants my full attention whether I'm a hookup or a girlfriend, and I don't like that. I hate when men try to make me the villain when I'm just giving the energy I receive. ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS HAVE BEEN S*XUAL. I was like "well I can't be s*xting all the time in public or around friends and family??"

    Tell me if I'm crazy or if he's being incredibly whiny about a situation he agreed to.

    Just in: "I guess I talk to my friends everyday so that's why." Buddy, fwb aren't the same as your childhood buddy Brandon.

    Edit: I just wanted to feel vindicated in my decision tbh. Sometimes I convince myself I’m being harsh when I’m not. I was never going to meet up with a dude that complains about me before we meet with no open communication

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    #67

    Man wearing t-shirt with political and demographic labels, reflecting confused market value theme

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only is he an a$$ but he considers it something worthy of bragging about. His t-shirt might as well have only one word on it: LOSER.

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    #71

    Text post discussing confusion about men's current market value and comparisons to FTM individuals

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He seriously doesn't understand how someone who has first hand experience of female anatomy might figure out how to make things more enjoyable for other women when they're with them..?

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    #73

    Facebook comment about female approval with humorous market value reply

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, right, I honestly forget sometimes that we're a separate species from men!

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    #75

    Tattooed man profile seeking BookTok girl with dark romance fantasies

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    4 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, he should be on Fetlife, not a dating app, if he wants to satisfy his kinks.

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    #88

    Social media post discussing men avoiding certain women and success with market value keyword

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are precisely the "anybody" that they do not need.

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    #91

    Bumble dating bio of man confused about his current market value

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    JB
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t intentionally add to my age; it happened automatically because the app AI saw my preference for mature women and rounded my profile age up to reflect my preference. Honest!

    #92

    Dating profile of man asking to be stepped on and degraded

    Men are so confused about their current market value Report

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well at least they're up-front and open about what they're looking for.

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