“Intimacy Is Awful, Painful, Uncomfortable”: Wife Opens Up About Husband’s 200 Kg Weight

A significant other’s appearance shouldn’t matter in a healthy, loving relationship. However, it becomes an entirely different narrative when the person lets go of themselves to the point that it becomes detrimental to both parties. 

A woman who has been with her overweight partner for years reached her breaking point. The man had gotten heavier and unhealthier, which ultimately affected her well-being and their life together. 

While the thought of breaking up has entered her mind, she wants to give him a chance to turn things around. However, she is trying to figure out how to broach the conversation. 

Being severely overweight not only affects the person, but also the people around them

Overweight man looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, contemplating.

Image credits: Dimaberlin / envatolements

A woman has been struggling to live a normal life with her overweight partner, whose weight problems have only worsened

Text discussing how partner's weight impacts lifestyle and relationship.

Text describing relationship struggles due to partner's snoring and discomfort.

Text describing sleep issues due to boyfriend's loud snoring and its impact on work and life.

Text about a woman's struggle with sleep deprivation due to her boyfriend's snoring.

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Text about relationship struggles due to snoring and mattress issues.

Text describing an exhausted woman's frustration over her boyfriend's snoring disrupting her sleep.

A tired woman rests her head on her hand, seeming exhausted from lack of sleep due to her boyfriend's loud snoring.

Image credits: freepik

Her difficulties have made her contemplate a breakup, but she wants to give him a chance to turn his life around

Text expressing concerns about partner's weight and its impact on relationship.

Text discussing partner's stagnation and lack of progress over 20 years, leading to relationship strain and contemplation.

Text about a woman feeling exhausted, struggling with sleep due to her boyfriend's snoring.

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Text about relationship struggles due to partner's snoring and personal changes.

Text about personal change and body autonomy, discussing relationship challenges related to snoring.

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Image credits: lacey79

Being overweight also does damage to a person’s mental health

Man sitting on a couch, wearing glasses and a black shirt, looking tired and contemplative indoors.

Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)

We are already aware of the potential long-term physical damage caused by obesity, ranging from heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, and even cognitive issues like Alzheimer’s disease. But it also causes mental health problems. 

A 2020 study found that obese adults have a 55% chance of suffering from depression. Likewise, it also revealed that people afflicted with depression also have a 58% chance of becoming obese, making for a cruel, seemingly never-ending cycle. 

In effect, the quality of life suffers, which is what the story’s author has been going through. According to a 2022 study, men and women who suffer from being overweight and obese are prone to physical and occupational functioning issues. 

They no longer engage in the same activities they used to enjoy doing because of the limitations brought on by their size and possible chronic ailments. As a result, they become more reclusive, which may affect the people around them. 

In the story, the man may have been dealing with mental issues brought on by his worsening physical health. Unfortunately, it had a profound effect on his partner and their relationship overall. 

A request for change must be clear and direct

Woman looking tired and frustrated, wearing a maroon shirt, discussing relationship issues due to her boyfriend's snoring.

Image credits: shurkin_son / freepik (not the actual photo)

The author’s biggest struggle seems to be telling her partner he needs to change and turn his life around. According to psychologist and University of Toronto professor Natalie Sisson, the person receiving this request may take it the wrong way because they may feel like they are not living up to their partner’s expectations. 

This is why Sisson advises making clear and direct change requests. As she tells Forbes, the goal is to communicate the issue at hand and let the person know what they can do to meet the request. 

However, showing support is the most important thing to help accomplish the overall goal. As Sisson notes, a change request must come with validation, especially since these requests are difficult for the other person to hear. 

It may help the author express her concerns without sugarcoating them. Withholding them only prolongs her agony and does nothing to help the relationship. 

However, she must convey the message in a way that makes him feel love and genuine concern. Doing so in a judgmental manner may only worsen the situation.

Readers didn’t hold back on their comments, as the author provided more information

Text describing a supportive relationship, highlighting exhaustion due to boyfriend's snoring.

Text describing a supportive dad, despite issues with weight impacting the family.

Some shared their unsolicited advice

Comment discussing issues caused by an overweight boyfriend's snoring and related relationship struggles.

Comment suggesting lifestyle changes to address boyfriend's snoring related to weight issues.

Discussion on advice for dealing with sleep issues from boyfriend's snoring, featuring user commentary.

Comment discussing the health implications of obesity and considering bariatric surgery or medication.

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Text discussing health risks of being overweight, including diabetes and heart disease concerns.

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Text from an online comment discussing a woman's relationship struggles with her boyfriend's snoring and selfishness.

Text discussing a woman's struggle with lack of sleep due to her overweight boyfriend's snoring.

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Text about sleep and personal rights in relationships, highlighting the impact of snoring on health and decision-making.

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Comment about expenses related to a person's weight and convenience food.

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Text describing advice on dealing with relationship issues involving lack of sleep due to snoring.

Comment about partner's weight issues affecting relationships and family life.

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Text discussing relationship issues due to exhaustion from partner's snoring and enabling behavior.

Text snippet discussing relationship struggles due to overweight boyfriend's snoring and health concerns.

Comment on snoring issues in relationships impacting health decisions and sustainability.

Text discussing support for overcoming weight challenges in relationships.

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