Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Woman Starts Worrying About She And Her Husband’s Mutual Friend After Hubs Sends Her A Spicy Pic
Interview With Expert
Loyalty is probably one of the most important aspects of a marriage. It can be quite heartbreaking when you find out about your spouse’s infidelity, whether it be physical or emotional. However, being gaslit by your partner even after this sounds just horrendous, doesn’t it?
That is the truth of the original poster (OP), whose husband is cozying up with their mutual friend but then accuses her of not being trustworthy. Netizens couldn’t even believe this man’s hypocrisy, and if the story has piqued your interest, scroll down to find out what really happened!
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
A marriage that lacks loyalty can be quite tumultuous, as one partner’s behavior might terribly hurt the other
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and her husband have a mutual friend, and she feels left out, knowing how much time she spends with her husband
Image credits: burns4273
Image credits: EmilyStock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, her husband shared a “spicy pic” with their mutual friend 10 minutes before he sent it to her
Image credits: burns4273
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She doesn’t know how to tell him she saw this on his phone, but when they argue, he accuses her of not trusting him
Image credits: burns4273
His behavior plays on her insecurities; however, she wants to make things work, so she sought advice online
In today’s story, the poster tells us about the conundrum that she is stuck in because of her husband. The thing is, they have a mutual friend through the gym, but since this woman also works in the same building as him, the two spend a lot of time together during lunch and also in the evenings after the gym.
The poster feels left out because of this, but she thinks that it’s her problem to deal with. However, one day, this completely changed after her husband sent her a “spicy pic” (with him in just his boxers). Well, the main issue was that he sent it to their friend 10 minutes before he sent it to OP. She found out about it when she went through his phone, so now, it’s gnawing at her.
In the past, whenever she brought such things up, he accused her of not trusting him and disbelieving him when he said he loved her. She has told him that she loves him, but this plays to her insecurities, and apparently, the toxic cycle continues. Now, she really wants to make their relationship work but wonders how to bring it up.
She didn’t want him to find out that she went through his phone, so she sought advice online and asked how to navigate the situation. However, folks were absolutely flabbergasted by her husband’s behavior. They said that he would cheat on her the first chance he gets (or might’ve already done it), and many advised her to just end things.
To get deeper insights about the matter, Bored Panda reached out to Dimple Manoj Melwani, mental health lead and senior clinical psychologist at Sumunum Arts and Wellbeing. She claimed that when someone’s concerns are dismissed as trust issues by their partner, it can seriously harm their emotional connection, and it can often resemble gaslighting.
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“Psychotherapy emphasizes how essential emotional validation is—without it, partners can feel unsafe and unheard. Repeated invalidation can create a power imbalance, where one person’s reality dominates, eroding trust and connection,” she explained.
Dimple elaborated that according to the attachment theory, we’re wired to seek secure bonds, and when a partner turns elsewhere for connection, it can activate fears of abandonment and rejection. She also stressed that the cognitive appraisal theory explains how this emotional distance is perceived as a threat, triggering stress responses like anxiety or sadness.
Many netizens pointed out that the husband in the story is already emotionally cheating on his wife, and the fact that she talks about previous times means that it has happened before. We spoke to our expert about emotional infidelity, and she expressed that it can feel like a deep betrayal, and the effects often linger.
Dimple spoke about its impact: “According to Freyd’s betrayal trauma theory, trauma occurs when the one who hurts you is also someone you depend on. The result can be anxiety, hypervigilance, or even dissociation. Research also suggests that people often question their identity and worth, a pattern documented in studies on infidelity’s impact on self-concept.”
When we asked Dimple whether such a relationship can survive, she mentioned that recovering from emotional infidelity is possible, though it’s complex and requires genuine commitment from the couple and therapeutic support. She believes that progress begins with couples therapy and individual therapy as well, to address deeper personal issues.
“Importantly, the therapeutic path should always be individualized, taking into account each couple’s unique relational dynamics, personal histories, and emotional needs,” Dimple concluded. Looks like OP’s husband is going to have to change a lot if she wants their relationship to work. Don’t you agree? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Folks online instantly pointed out that he sounded like a red flag and would cheat on her with this friend at any chance he gets
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
A lot depends on the actual photo, which BP has not included. But it isn't unusual to send check my progress pics to people you work out with. But the issue is that OP feels threatened and territorial and isnt able to talk to her husband about it. Before she gets into the ethics of snaps, she should look into that. If you can't even have a conversation about dissatisfaction with your marriage, that's the biggest red flag in the story.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
OP said it was a selfie of her husband wearing only boxers. And before you try to justify that that's not a "spicy photo" since men get to walk around topless/can wear short shorts/etc. in public, I'd like to point out that OP feels as though it was a spicy photo and OP feels as though it was an inappropriate photo for her husband to send to a FEMALE friend. Just because it's acceptable for a man to be topless doesn't mean that OP doesn't get to feel that it is gross and unacceptable for her husband to send a photo of himself in his underpants to a female friend.
Load More Replies...
Mel in Georgia 1 week ago
Even if there's no hanky-panky going on, he's cheating on her with his time. That's too much togetherness with another person other than your supposedly "significant other."
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
No close friends once your married? Isn't that the logic people use when they are laying the ground work for isolation and abuse?
Load More Replies...
Cherie anderson 1 week ago
I think they are spending their time together doing more than working out..its time to be sneaky and snoopy... So keep looking at his phone when he is sleeping...but maybe its till to follow him to the gym and watch from a distance to see if they are actually staying st the gym..nobody ever works out at lunch and at night ..i think they are meeting up going to her place.. You can also hire a PI..but if you cant afford one then i suggest a tracker..or getting another phone and installing an app life 360 on it and hiding it in his vehicle..its a wonderful thing to have be ause it shows the adress of where he is and hiw long he is there for..i have it and i love it... This way you will know for sure if they are fooling around behind your back.. How long does he think he can keep doing this begore the s*x slows right down and he decides to leave you.. But in his mind he has nagging wife and needs relief.. Just be prepared for what you find out But i think you already know..good luck
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
A lot depends on the actual photo, which BP has not included. But it isn't unusual to send check my progress pics to people you work out with. But the issue is that OP feels threatened and territorial and isnt able to talk to her husband about it. Before she gets into the ethics of snaps, she should look into that. If you can't even have a conversation about dissatisfaction with your marriage, that's the biggest red flag in the story.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
OP said it was a selfie of her husband wearing only boxers. And before you try to justify that that's not a "spicy photo" since men get to walk around topless/can wear short shorts/etc. in public, I'd like to point out that OP feels as though it was a spicy photo and OP feels as though it was an inappropriate photo for her husband to send to a FEMALE friend. Just because it's acceptable for a man to be topless doesn't mean that OP doesn't get to feel that it is gross and unacceptable for her husband to send a photo of himself in his underpants to a female friend.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 1 week ago
Even if there's no hanky-panky going on, he's cheating on her with his time. That's too much togetherness with another person other than your supposedly "significant other."
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
No close friends once your married? Isn't that the logic people use when they are laying the ground work for isolation and abuse?
Load More Replies... Cherie anderson 1 week ago
I think they are spending their time together doing more than working out..its time to be sneaky and snoopy... So keep looking at his phone when he is sleeping...but maybe its till to follow him to the gym and watch from a distance to see if they are actually staying st the gym..nobody ever works out at lunch and at night ..i think they are meeting up going to her place.. You can also hire a PI..but if you cant afford one then i suggest a tracker..or getting another phone and installing an app life 360 on it and hiding it in his vehicle..its a wonderful thing to have be ause it shows the adress of where he is and hiw long he is there for..i have it and i love it... This way you will know for sure if they are fooling around behind your back.. How long does he think he can keep doing this begore the s*x slows right down and he decides to leave you.. But in his mind he has nagging wife and needs relief.. Just be prepared for what you find out But i think you already know..good luck
You May Like Mom Thinks She Can Trick SIL Into Babysitting, She Makes Her Come Back With One Threat Person Finds Out After Dinner That They’re “Treating The Table,” Refuses To Pay Daughter’s Earrings Trigger Sudden Rage In Dad, Pregnant Wife Left Shaken: “I Mutilated Her”
Ieva Pečiulytė
Rugile Baltrunaite
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
35
16