Man Eats Wife’s “Safe Food”, Then Calls Her A Jerk For Not Trying His Mom’s Dish That Could End Horribly
There are plenty of things to look forward to during the holiday season. Perhaps you can’t wait to drive around your neighborhood admiring all of the Christmas lights. Maybe you’ve spent months looking forward to watching Home Alone with your partner. Or perhaps you want nothing more than to enjoy a feast of your favorite holiday dishes.
Food can certainly be one of the most exciting aspects of the holiday season. But indulging can be a bit more complicated for those of us with food allergies. After one woman received judgment from her in-laws for sticking to only safe foods on Christmas, she reached out to Reddit for advice. Below, you’ll find the full story of how she managed to insult her mother-in-law, as well as some of the replies readers left her.
Food allergies can make it much more challenging to enjoy holiday meals
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When this woman stuck to only allergy-friendly foods on Christmas, her mother-in-law felt insulted
Image credits: JSB Co. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Michael Tucker / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Far-Impression-6597
Image credits: lookstudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
The majority of Americans look forward to all of the dishes they’ll enjoy during the holiday season
The holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year! And part of the reason for that is the fact that we get to indulge in all of our favorite dishes and sweet treats that we might not have the time or energy to prepare year round. A survey of 2,000 American adults found that 72% look forward to all of the foods they’ll enjoy during the holidays.
Meanwhile, three quarters of Americans admit that they find themselves eating more during this special season than during the rest of the year. And 76% say that their eating habits change more often during this time than they do from January to November.
There’s no question that Christmas cookies and holiday casseroles can bring people plenty of joy. But apparently, they can also come along with some discomfort. Over half of the people surveyed said that they frequently feel like they overeat during the holidays, which often results in discomfort and digestive issues.
And unfortunately, food allergies and intolerances don’t go on vacation during the holidays. It’s extremely important to take them seriously at all times, but especially during this time of year, as nobody wants to celebrate Christmas from a hospital bed.
According to Food Allergy Research & Education, 33 million Americans have food allergies, including one in 10 adults and one in 13 children. Sadly, over half of adults with allergies have experienced a severe reaction, often leading to a trip to the hospital.
The most common food allergens in the United States are milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, soy, fish, crustaceans, and sesame. And as anyone with food allergies will tell you, they can severely impact a person’s quality of life.
It’s important to take food allergies seriously all year round
Image credits: benzoix / freepik (not the actual photo)
Severe allergies mean that a person can’t simply walk into any restaurant and order whatever they’d like off the menu. In fact, more than 15% of parents of kids with allergies avoid going out to eat entirely, just to be safe. Those with allergies can’t just buy whatever birthday cake they want from the grocery store or enjoy a slice of the cake their colleague brought into the office.
They often have to prepare food ahead of time, as there’s never any guarantee that there will be allergy-friendly options at any event they’re attending. And this can be even more frustrating and exhausting when family members don’t understand or respect your dietary restrictions.
Anyone with a special diet is used to receiving ignorant comments and lots of questions during any family gathering. Whether you’re vegan or avoid certain foods due to allergies, relatives won’t always understand. So Aleasa Word, Vice President of Inclusion Initiatives at Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Connection Team, says it’s important to set boundaries around your plate.
First, Word suggests identifying anyone in your family who’s skeptical of your allergies. Be cautious of anything they try to feed you, and try to avoid conversation about food to prevent any debates from erupting. It’s also wise to arm yourself with knowledge. Be prepared to explain why exactly you can’t eat certain foods and what would happen to you if you were fed contaminated dishes.
You may need to set strict boundaries around where or what you’ll eat. But at the end of the day, your mental health comes first. If you have to skip the family Christmas (or simply eat before) to protect your peace, by all means, do so.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you were in the author’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Later, the author responded to several readers and provided more background information
Readers assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong, and many called out her husband for eating her safe food before she could
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Please tell me this is a joke, there was plenty of food and hubby ate her only safe thing there?!
That’s what is so weird. Supposedly he understands her sensitivity and just ate it. I feel so weird reading these things where it goes down the path “but was so hungry”. I believe it though because it’s happened to me when I prep ingredients.
Load More Replies...Unless the husband has Prader-Willi I'm not sympathetic, and if he did I'd only be sympathetic in that's it's an awful condition. As far as I know (admittedly, I'm not medically trained, however) there's no medical condition that causes you to eat the only food your wife can eat because you're "soooo hungry". He wouldn't get a pass for his behaviour. Why could he not just have eaten the turkey with the bacon? What an AH.
because his mom's opinion was more important to him than his wife's health
Load More Replies...The update from op trying to exonerate her husband didn’t work. First she said he made sandwiches, like plural. Surely he could have had one. And I’m sure not everything in the kitchen was being saved for Christmas, he just wanted the turkey. And he was letting her know she’s of time so she wouldn’t be surprised by the message from mil??! Had he defended his wife and explained the situation, the only message she’d be getting from mil was an apology.
She’s making a lot of excuses for her husband who’s just as big of an a*****e as his family. But she probably doesn’t want to pack it in after five years because she already wasted that much time with him. But if I was her, I would definitely get out of this marriage. Nobody seems to give a s**t about her. Even if the allergies aren’t deadly, I’d s**t all over their f*****g floor.
I didn't like that either! Why would she defend him when he sabotaged her?
Load More Replies...Meat allergy is not something to take lightly. I have it aswell, and I can die from it. You can't just remove the bacon, the fat is all over the turkey.
And of COURSE she’s picky because she’s trying NOT to eat things that land her in the hospital! I get the impression her аsshole of a “husband” is tired of her and her (to him) s**t and wants out of the marriage, but rather than growing some balls and asking for a divorce, he’d rather make her miserable enough to do the breaking up for him. What a sad excuse for a “man.”
Load More Replies...5th choice for BP's poll: Divorce hubs and let MIL feed him on her "schedule."
If OP isn't kicking up a fuss, why would anyone care if she's picky? No matter the reason? This is just an excuse to bully her Husband is an AH for eating the safe food.
My sister has Alpha-Gal. She cannot consume dairy, beef or pork. If she does she can become deathly ill and require hospitalization..
NTA, but if he doesn't get this, I think OP should push for therapy or get a divorce. Eating the food your partner specifically prepared because she has allergies, then blaming her for not eating food that could send her to the hospital is a huge red flag. It's beyond just discourtesy. There are times in life when people need to rely on other people, like when they have a medical procedure and need care or when they are sick. I don't think OP can trust him not to poison her through his carelessness. And who's to say he won't act like this every holiday?
I have allergies and honestly, that is a MONUMENTAL red flag, what the husband did. Trying to be a responsible and proactive guest by mealprepping so you do not burden others, then having your PARTNER violate that? Grounds for divorce, imho. I'd literally leave him there and go home alone.
husband has a medical condition that means he must eat frequently. he also knows mil won't let him "eat in the kitchen because it's for Christmas" OP brought food to deal with her allergies and he took it. if she can prepare for her food issues, why couldn't he for his and resort to leaving her hanging?
I have quite severe allergies, if I eat most cheeses or any chilli, I will get a migraine (not an 'oh dear' headache, three days of utter agony). Everywhere I go, people are super accommodating. People even make extra dishes just for me if they make a mistake with the main (occasionally happens). These people sound like idiots. The husband more so!
Damnit I am so lucky with having picked my husband. I have food allergies and he takes them seriously. That poor woman is NTA, but the husband and mil sure are.
This sounds awfully contrived: OP has several allergies, which hubby knows about, so she brings some special food she can eat. Hubby can't go without being hungry for medical reasons, but his mommy won't let him eat (despite knowing her son's condition?), so he eats all OP's food. Hubby then won't back up his wife because she can't eat other things (which he must know is true). C'mon, this doesn't sound genuine. Or if it is, hubby and his mommy are terrible people.
She says it puts her in the hospital. That's not just "disliking the taste".
Load More Replies...Please tell me this is a joke, there was plenty of food and hubby ate her only safe thing there?!
That’s what is so weird. Supposedly he understands her sensitivity and just ate it. I feel so weird reading these things where it goes down the path “but was so hungry”. I believe it though because it’s happened to me when I prep ingredients.
Load More Replies...Unless the husband has Prader-Willi I'm not sympathetic, and if he did I'd only be sympathetic in that's it's an awful condition. As far as I know (admittedly, I'm not medically trained, however) there's no medical condition that causes you to eat the only food your wife can eat because you're "soooo hungry". He wouldn't get a pass for his behaviour. Why could he not just have eaten the turkey with the bacon? What an AH.
because his mom's opinion was more important to him than his wife's health
Load More Replies...The update from op trying to exonerate her husband didn’t work. First she said he made sandwiches, like plural. Surely he could have had one. And I’m sure not everything in the kitchen was being saved for Christmas, he just wanted the turkey. And he was letting her know she’s of time so she wouldn’t be surprised by the message from mil??! Had he defended his wife and explained the situation, the only message she’d be getting from mil was an apology.
She’s making a lot of excuses for her husband who’s just as big of an a*****e as his family. But she probably doesn’t want to pack it in after five years because she already wasted that much time with him. But if I was her, I would definitely get out of this marriage. Nobody seems to give a s**t about her. Even if the allergies aren’t deadly, I’d s**t all over their f*****g floor.
I didn't like that either! Why would she defend him when he sabotaged her?
Load More Replies...Meat allergy is not something to take lightly. I have it aswell, and I can die from it. You can't just remove the bacon, the fat is all over the turkey.
And of COURSE she’s picky because she’s trying NOT to eat things that land her in the hospital! I get the impression her аsshole of a “husband” is tired of her and her (to him) s**t and wants out of the marriage, but rather than growing some balls and asking for a divorce, he’d rather make her miserable enough to do the breaking up for him. What a sad excuse for a “man.”
Load More Replies...5th choice for BP's poll: Divorce hubs and let MIL feed him on her "schedule."
If OP isn't kicking up a fuss, why would anyone care if she's picky? No matter the reason? This is just an excuse to bully her Husband is an AH for eating the safe food.
My sister has Alpha-Gal. She cannot consume dairy, beef or pork. If she does she can become deathly ill and require hospitalization..
NTA, but if he doesn't get this, I think OP should push for therapy or get a divorce. Eating the food your partner specifically prepared because she has allergies, then blaming her for not eating food that could send her to the hospital is a huge red flag. It's beyond just discourtesy. There are times in life when people need to rely on other people, like when they have a medical procedure and need care or when they are sick. I don't think OP can trust him not to poison her through his carelessness. And who's to say he won't act like this every holiday?
I have allergies and honestly, that is a MONUMENTAL red flag, what the husband did. Trying to be a responsible and proactive guest by mealprepping so you do not burden others, then having your PARTNER violate that? Grounds for divorce, imho. I'd literally leave him there and go home alone.
husband has a medical condition that means he must eat frequently. he also knows mil won't let him "eat in the kitchen because it's for Christmas" OP brought food to deal with her allergies and he took it. if she can prepare for her food issues, why couldn't he for his and resort to leaving her hanging?
I have quite severe allergies, if I eat most cheeses or any chilli, I will get a migraine (not an 'oh dear' headache, three days of utter agony). Everywhere I go, people are super accommodating. People even make extra dishes just for me if they make a mistake with the main (occasionally happens). These people sound like idiots. The husband more so!
Damnit I am so lucky with having picked my husband. I have food allergies and he takes them seriously. That poor woman is NTA, but the husband and mil sure are.
This sounds awfully contrived: OP has several allergies, which hubby knows about, so she brings some special food she can eat. Hubby can't go without being hungry for medical reasons, but his mommy won't let him eat (despite knowing her son's condition?), so he eats all OP's food. Hubby then won't back up his wife because she can't eat other things (which he must know is true). C'mon, this doesn't sound genuine. Or if it is, hubby and his mommy are terrible people.
She says it puts her in the hospital. That's not just "disliking the taste".
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