“The Last 6 Days Have Been Hell”: Friend Expects To Be Treated Like A King, Gets A Reality Check
Having a home large enough to accommodate guests is a double-edged sword. You have the freedom and flexibility to help out people coming to visit, but this capability quickly becomes a nuisance when some folks try to see just how far they can push the concept up guest rights.
A woman shared a lengthy story about her frustration with a houseguest who absolutely overstayed his welcome, all while making demand after demand. She later shared a sizable update about her thoughts on the entire experience. We reached out to the woman in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Having guests is all fun and games until it’s not
Image credits: Prostock-studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
A woman’s husband let a friend stay over, only to learn that he had a whole list of demands
Image credits: MargJohnsonVA / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: nd3000 / Envato (not the actual photo)
She later added some more details
Image credits: Impressive_Detail553
Guests tend to get some privileges, depending on where you are
Image credits: KostiantynVoitenko / Envato (not the actual photo)
Most cultures inherently have some degree of protections for people staying under your roof. Even though, for the most part, we no longer live in the age of wolves and bandits, there are still certain expectations a host is pressured to meet. Setting aside centuries old traditions, if a friend or family member needs a place to stay, it’s not unreasonable to help them out.
This entire concept came from a time where travel was not only long and arduous, but also often very, very unsafe. There would be an implied reciprocity, as the host could very well be a guest on a cold winter night in the future. Air travel, motels and cars have all made this point somewhat moot, but ideas tend to have an inertia past their expiration date. All in all, guests also need to understand their place and realize that if they want a certain level of service, at some point, they are going to have to just pay for it.
However, this highlights the importance of communication. A guest can mean a lot of things, to basically another dependent staying for an indeterminate amount of time to a person who sometimes occupies a bed. However, this is the worst case, a person who doesn’t perhaps say as much as they should, but then blatantly starts to make demands around things like transportation.
But entitled people tend to take it too far
Image credits: DragonImages / Envato (not the actual photo)
But as this story demonstrates, it’s pretty easy for a guest to get a little too comfortable, particularly if the hosts struggle with boundaries and confrontations. After all, saying no to people you ostensibly like or love is often harder than it looks. It’s even harder when the person with the most sway, in this case the husband, seems to be taking more of a passive role. At least a roommate acting strange is one thing, but a guest isn’t even paying for their accommodations. If they want to make demands, they should go to a hotel.
What is normal in one place might be strange elsewhere. For example, if the idea of feeding your guests (particularly kids) is optional, you might be from Scandinavia. Even driving a guest somewhere isn’t that strange. After all, airports tend to be far away, so giving your buddy a lift is often a very nice gesture. In general, while a host has some responsibilities, the guests can’t just mooch as well, they have to communicate preferences or suffer when things don’t go their way.
However, a lift and being a dedicated chauffeur are two very different things. Offering your friend gas money for what amounts to a private driver is really the least someone can do, but this is just not what happened. While giving a visiting friend a tour of your town or city is generally pretty fun, it being done “for free” by a person who already has a long list of demands seems positively exhausting.
The real crux of the story is the gap between the wife’s expectations and the husband’s actions. As she later states, in an update that can be found below, this created a riff in their relationship that might be pretty hard to fix.
Some readers had questions
Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)
The woman shared her thoughts on the experience later
Image credits: romankosolapov / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Impressive_Detail553
Commenters still had some questions
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This is a prime example of people failing to communicate clearly. Stop hinting. Stop trying to get partners to be mind readers. Actually take the time to talk about the situation. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Yes, 100%. Especially considering that the guest is autistic. I know it's a spectrum, but most autistic people have a hard time picking up/understanding social cues.
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This is not entirely on the husband. The wife needs to be more direct with her feelings instead of waiting for everything to hit the boiling point. They both have a lot of work to do.
You did a lot of hinting and seething, then exploded. You needed to say what you wanted in the beginning. As for the friend’s entitlement, what was the invitation from your spouse? How does the friend entertain your spouse when he visits him? I have a friend who complains that her in laws come to stay for weeks, expect to be driven around and waited on. These are the same in-laws she visited for weeks who drive her and the kids around and waited on her.
This is a prime example of people failing to communicate clearly. Stop hinting. Stop trying to get partners to be mind readers. Actually take the time to talk about the situation. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Yes, 100%. Especially considering that the guest is autistic. I know it's a spectrum, but most autistic people have a hard time picking up/understanding social cues.
Load More Replies... This is not entirely on the husband. The wife needs to be more direct with her feelings instead of waiting for everything to hit the boiling point. They both have a lot of work to do.
You did a lot of hinting and seething, then exploded. You needed to say what you wanted in the beginning. As for the friend’s entitlement, what was the invitation from your spouse? How does the friend entertain your spouse when he visits him? I have a friend who complains that her in laws come to stay for weeks, expect to be driven around and waited on. These are the same in-laws she visited for weeks who drive her and the kids around and waited on her.
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