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Pandas, share a red flag experience you had.
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#1
If they are rude to people around them, Service staff like waiters/waitresses. It’s a good indication of how you’ll be treated if in a relationship with them. And it’s not nice, that too.
Final score:
36points
Mabelbabel 3 years ago
My worst ever date-blind date, met in a bar before going for dinner, and he clicked his fingers at the barman and later on at the waitress to get their attention-actually clicked his fingers like he was doing clicker training for dogs. I left after the main course, couldn't face any more his behaviour-one comment he made was that if he was prepared to take me to dinner, I should have had the courtesy to wear a lower cut top and show him some cleavage. The friend who set up the date was absolutely mortified when I told him what happened, they were work colleagues and had never really interacted socially.
I am an Alien 3 years ago
Being rude to anyone lower in the interaction is a major red flag. My mom always tells me this one. It's important.
RELATED:
#2
If they don't like pets of any kind
Final score:
30points
RandomPanda 3 years ago
But what if they have an allergy or some sort of trauma around pets? I have a friend who hates dogs because she got attacked by one when she was a kid, and another who is allergic to rodents.
TheSilentEngineer (Submission author) 3 years ago
I bad a beagle when I was a kid and the amount of times he had bit, pushed over or jumped on me, would be reason enough to have a fear of dogs but I kept hanging out with him and I still love dogs
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censorshipsucks 3 years ago
hmm in Africa most people consider animals differently to in the west (not as high regard, do not generally keep pets), and in Islam, dogs are considered dirty, so,... this is quite specifically a western thing.
TheSilentEngineer (Submission author) 3 years ago
I am actually a South African, here we let our pets come into our homes
Load More Replies... #3
If all their ex's are crazy
Final score:
29points
#4
Phone obsession. Absolute red flag. If someone can't leave their phone alone long enough to engage in a conversation then that's it, I'm out
Final score:
29points
#5
If they're rude to the waiter.
Final score:
24points
#6
When they only want to talk about themselves, no matter the topic
Final score:
23points
#7
When they ask you how much $ you make.
Final score:
19points
#8
If they become abusive/rude when drunk.
Final score:
18points
Trillian 3 years ago (edited)
You don't need to get dead drunk, but I love to check guys' behavior after a couple of drinks. Because alcohol does not change you, it just takes away inhibitions and social restrictions. If what's underneath is an a*****e, that is a great way to tell.
Load More Replies... #9
they ask what my astrology sign is right away
Final score:
14points
#10
If they message you before the date asking for petrol money (money for "gas") or airtime (money to make their cellphone work). It means they're a catfish.
Final score:
13points
#11
If they are a loud chewer
Final score:
12points
Ghaniyah Verma 3 years ago
Uh, that is not necessarily a red flag since they might not be doing that on purpose. They might have a habit of it, actually.
#12
Treating the staff reall crummy. How you act with staff & animals is who you are on the inside.
Final score:
11points
#13
If they try to murder me, I pretty much decide that a relationship isn't going to work between us.
Final score:
11points
Ranger Kanootsen (Submission author) 3 years ago
Well, not exactly, but... almost.
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John Barber 3 years ago
Attempted murder....what is that anyway?. You don't get a Nobel Prize for "attempted physics".
#14
When they act as if they've already figured you out although everything is just based on assumptions. And when you correct them they ignore it. So: When they act as if they know you better than you yourself do.
Final score:
10points
April Caron 3 years ago
This is my #1 pet peeve. Next would be attempting to order my food or drink for me.
#15
Having taught Conscious Dating Practices for 34 years here are my Top Ten: Inability to listen with care They will not reveal their true intentions (often fear being honest about wanting a committed partnership) They get critical about who you are They demonstrate any for of unkindness They do not know what they want and need in a relationship! (This means they will practice with your heart!) They lie They will not introduce you to their family or friends Their own life is a mess (how can they take care of YOU?) They do not love themselves They are wounded from the past and refuse to seek help!
Final score:
9points
HorseMuse (Submission author) 3 years ago (edited)
PS: if any of these show up…”on a first date” … then take notice! And, sometimes. A lot can be found out or revealed in a first date too!
Bored Seb 3 years ago
I always bring my family for a first date, in order to avoid being redflagged by the other one
Load More Replies... #16
they try to police my speech. i admit it, i curse a lot jus in ordinary convos. went out with this one guy who would say "language, young lady" every time i did. first of all, i was in my 40s at the time. second of all, bruh...i'm sure y'all can imagine what happened after the third or so time he did it: YUP, i lit his a** up and left in the middle of the meal. LMAO (this is why i always drive myself to dates.)
Final score:
8points
Trillian 3 years ago (edited)
No matter what my age if my date called me a "young lady" while trying to correct my behavior I would get the f**k out of there
Lupita Nyong'heaux (Submission author) 3 years ago
for those having a problem with the fact that i curse and saying HE dodged a bullet, it wasn't so much his being bothered by it, it was the WAY he indicated that. if he had simply said he was uncomfortable with it, i would've understood and respected his honesty and would've accommodated him. but the way my petty is set up, him speaking to me in such a condescending and patronizing manner was not gonna fly - EVER. I'M the one who dodged a bullet because his response is indicative of a controlling nature that would only get worse over time. i know because i've been there. first, it's my language, then it's the way i dress, then it's my friends, and so on and so on. i'm NEVER allowing that to happen again - period. so, y'all can make of that - and this post - what you will.
Mattie 3 years ago
can we collectively start answering men using condescending phrases like "young lady" with "old man"?
Lupita Nyong'heaux (Submission author) 3 years ago
i'm onboard with that.
Load More Replies... Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
its a red flag if they cant control their language justb for a short period. he dodged a bullet.
Xenon 3 years ago
Seriously, do they curse like that in front of their parents? Small children?? Theoretically trying to make a good impression on a date and every few words are a curse word, giant red flag.
Load More Replies... Dee Lee 3 years ago
Good idea to always drive yourself! If someone is trying to know 'the real you' but is uncomfortable with how you talk, that's their problem. Censoring someone on the first date and being a condescending jerk are both CONTROL TACTICS and a huge RED FLAG. Assuming you weren't spewing curses or overly loud, relaxed language can be quite fun/funny in context. Personally I wouldn't want to hang around such a pinch-a$$ed person for very long - we aren''t in kindergarten, folks!
Lupita Nyong'heaux (Submission author) 3 years ago
out loud? really? i'm not shouting at the top of my lungs, sir. i'm carrying on a convo at the appropriate level for the restaurant.
Load More Replies... #17
If they move in too quick. You know, like trying to have sex already.
Final score:
8points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I don't think that's really the same thing. There's moving in too quick, and there's asking for sex quick. In western culture, moving in asap is a red flag, but having sex asap is not. Same in Africa, but not traditional African culture. Traditional African culture considers both a red flag. However, in our cities, having sex on a first date is not unusual. Moving in after a first date defintiely is unusual. Two different things.
#18
A guy picked me up to go out for a drink once and berated me about not having my license (nevermind I'd just come home from living abroad and travelling for ten years so I had bigger fish to fry, thanks). He even said 'we will have to fix that' His politics didn't align with mine either and was a wexiter (Albertan separatist), drank way too much, kept texting his ex all night, and invited his female friend on the second date we went on. Spoiler alert: his friend was actually the best part of the date hahahaha
Final score:
6points
#19
If they spend the first date whingeing and whining about everything and blaming others-one first date of mine spent the evening complaining about how hard accountancy exams were and the questions were ambiguous and it wasn't his fault that he didn't pass 1st time. And then he made non-stop complaints about the restaurant, the food, the waitress, the lack of availability of car parking nearby, the menu choices available, the people on the table next to us who were talking too much (not too loud, but they were having a normal two way reciprocal conversation, not listening to one person's diatribe). He was so negative and joyless it was depressing to listen to.
Final score:
6points
#20
Talking about how much they hated their ex.
Final score:
5points
Mobey Drunk 3 years ago
Wether or not if it's true, it's not a good topic to bring up on a first date.
Load More Replies... #22
Saying they are kidding when they insult me. Haha. Aren’t jokes funny?
Final score:
4points
#23
Here are a few that actually happened to me: Her ex showed up at our date. NOPE! SEE YA! One kept going on and on about her mental breakdowns after numerous men left her! ADIÓS!! Went on a date with a beauty contestant and she had a shrine to herself in her house!!! ✌️ Another told me she got a guys name tattooed on her a$$ after knowing him for a month!!! 🏃🏼♂️💨
Final score:
3points
#24
When they can describe the area you live in (starting from local fast food places, to your favorite park, the gas station around the corner from your house, and then describe your house when they've never been there) without knowing a damn thing about you. I didn't have social media or anything. Huge nope for me at the time.
Final score:
3points
Abbelius (Submission author) 3 years ago
He did this during our first date. And then offered to drive me home after. No thanks!
Load More Replies... #25
Trying ANYTHING s3xual. It’s a first date, not a 1 night stand.
Final score:
3points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Not necessarily. It depends on the dynamic. I recently was offered s3x on a first date and took it because we were getting on very well.
Dust (Submission author) 3 years ago (edited)
Personally I just don’t like the idea of it. Other people might do it, but in my eyes it’s a red flag.
Load More Replies... #26
Talking about an ex in a horrible way. Ie she/he is a bi***/tw**. Even worse if they have children with the person. It's ok not to like someone but don't badmouth them.
Final score:
3points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
It depends on what they say and what the person did. I never swear about a person but I will badmouth them if they were abusive or cheaters.
#27
A date being sweet as pie to you, but rude and obnoxious to the waiter/waitress, other drivers, or service people. They will come to treat you that way.
Final score:
3points
#29
The question: Sooo ... How much do you make?
Final score:
2points
#30
She doesn't turn up...
Final score:
2points
#31
If she expresses a desire to get married or have children, Im out. Thats not first date material. I actually try to get that out of the way beforehand. Nobody likes their time wasted. Sloppy eaters is also a big one for me, and that goes for anyone I meet. If I see you being a slob in public, I dont wanna hang out with you.
Final score:
2points
AKAELLIE 3 years ago
well it depends if for the married and children one. if she is just like "yeah i want to marry you and have kids" on the first date i would be a bit anxious because she doesn't even really know me, but if she just says generally that she's looking for someone to settle down with i would be fine and most likely go on a second date.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Hmm no I don't think I'd drop someone on these grounds straight away. Unless they say they want marriage and kids straight away? I mean if she says "one day I'd like to'" or "in ten years I think I would like to", that is hardly a red flag.
#32
Not so subtle hints about what he expects later.
Final score:
2points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Well, if you don't like s3x then this is a problem, but if you connect well with the person AND you like s3x, then I do not see the problem? Unless that was ALL he was interested in? Just asking for clarity. Personally I do not mind if a woman indicates that she just wants s3x. She won't get a second date, but I won't really say no.
#34
If they start talking about their ex or commenting on everything you do or trying to do some questionable stuff.
Final score:
2points
#35
If they don't pay.
Final score:
2points
#36
Man spreading. Keep your legs together, stay in your own lane. Mansplaining. My simple female mind wasn't able to figure it out on it's own. Making anyone feel small with an insult. Being terribly late without a call.
Final score:
2points
Grammarly 3 years ago
I heard that manspreading is to stop their balls from getting squished? Correct me if I'm wrong tho
Lisa H 3 years ago
There's a limit, though. Some guys like to basically sprawl their legs so much that you can't sit directly next to them, you have to be a good foot away. You don't have to sit with your knees together (we want you to be comfortable, too!), but don't take up enough space for three people.
Load More Replies...
#37
Being too smooth, romatic, seeming too cool. Basically talking too much game/ not showing their true self enough or at all. Psycho RF.
Final score:
1point
#38
That she actually agreed to go out with me
Final score:
1point
John Barber 3 years ago
I would never join a club that would accept me as a member. ----- Groucho Marx.
#40
When u tell him u don't have a car but he says not to worry he'll just have one of his slaves pick u up....and he's a cult leader
Final score:
1point
#41
they don't tip at all or they leave way too small an amount, like $5 on a $75 bill.
Final score:
0points
ben woskje 3 years ago
which is not applicable to most of the world https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-that-tip
Lupita Nyong'heaux (Submission author) 3 years ago
i can only speak on where i live, ben. the question didn't specify that it had to apply to the whole world.
Load More Replies... Grammarly 3 years ago
Or mayybeee... (hear me out) *aghem* employers could just pAy A dEcEnT wAgE (radical idea ik)
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Read "how nations fail" by acemoglu to understand why countries like usa, south africa, etc., have lots of low-paid people
Load More Replies... #42
If she gives her pronouns.
Final score:
0points
Samyan Elrod 3 years ago
Wait @Edgar what's the issue? I want to know what's actually wrong with that?
censorshipsucks 3 years ago (edited)
If "she" gives her pronouns and you want to date a woman, then I do not see the issue? Unless you are a TERF or something and are worried that she might be trans? What is the issue? Or, are you saying, any person who gives their pronouns, is a "leftist" and therefore going to annoy you?
#43
What do you do for a living?
Final score:
0points
Jynxiecat 3 years ago
What's wrong with that question? That's a normal question to ask when getting to know someone. As long as they don't ask about your salary or anything overly specific like the address of your workplace, I don't see an issue.
Sean Sean (Submission author) 3 years ago
You can figure out someone's salary range by their job, the car they drive, where they live. There are a lot of questions you can ask to find out someone's income other than asking outright. So this tells me if the woman is interested in me, or my job.
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What do you think ?
madamjoiedumort 3 years ago
It wasn't but when he told me he was hospitalized for them to adjust his meds, I should have left. Now I have no money for a divorce. DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please.
Shirley Ann Daniels 3 years ago
Saying, "DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please" is the saddest thing in the world. People like you are the reason there is such a horrible stigma about mental health. I couldn't love my husband more, and he is schizophrenic. He is an amazing, loving and loyal man. We have been married for almost 18 years. I feel sorry for you.
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madamjoiedumort 3 years ago
It wasn't but when he told me he was hospitalized for them to adjust his meds, I should have left. Now I have no money for a divorce. DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please.
Shirley Ann Daniels 3 years ago
Saying, "DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please" is the saddest thing in the world. People like you are the reason there is such a horrible stigma about mental health. I couldn't love my husband more, and he is schizophrenic. He is an amazing, loving and loyal man. We have been married for almost 18 years. I feel sorry for you.
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