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I got this idea about reading a thread on Bored Panda discussing what gaff means (house).
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#1
Bollocks
Final score:
39points
Poppy 2 years ago
Bollocks can mean so many things. Primarily it means testicles, but it can also mean the following - That's bollocks = I don't believe you, talking bollocks = talking rubbish, dogs bollocks = best thing ever, getting bollocked = getting told off, getting bollocksed = getting drunk, oh bollocks = I've messed up, well that's bollocks = that's not good, I've bollocksed it up = I've made a mess/broken it, stark b*****k naked = stark naked. There's probably more but off the top of my head I can't think of them.
Jon Lee 2 years ago
I have looked through this thread and no one has mentioned the venerated tome that is the dogs bollocks of swearing, Roger's Profanisaurus. This is full of obscenities, explaining the difference between a bobhouse and a bobfoc, a clopper and a cupcake. Absolutely required reading for anyone wishing to explore the byways of the English language.
RELATED:
#2
Pie Hole - Mouth. Cake Hole - Mouth. Arsehole - Piers Morgan.
Final score:
39points
#3
Not so much a phrase, so much as what you can add to a phrase. Take anything around you, then add you absolute Infront of it, and then you ave an English insult
Final score:
23points
Lemme get the lemons (Submission author) 2 years ago
We generally use absolute chimney pot in my family
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
My favourite is Hat Badger. It makes no sense at all but makes me laugh uncontrollably.
Lemme get the lemons (Submission author) 2 years ago
How dare you use my name as an insult! /S
Load More Replies...
#4
'Ow do? is my favourite expression from my home county of North Yorkshire. It means "How's it going?" but sounds so warm and welcoming. Best response? "Can't complain, pet"
Final score:
22points
#5
“Trump”. It means fart
Final score:
21points
RedPandasStandUprightWithPawsUpToLookIntimidating 2 years ago
US Trump meeting UK Johnson (fart meeting p*nis) summed up politics...
#6
Reight chuffed. When something makes you happy.
Final score:
20points
#7
Bell end. The end of a p****r or when one is acting like a d!ckhead.
Final score:
19points
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
C******d is a decent alternative. Not to be confused with ' Alright my old c**k (or cocker)' in several northern counties.
Draperdorf 2 years ago
Ah... a fine example of another word that also works well with "you absolute" in front of it...
#8
A reminder to visitors to our shores, most swear words can be used as a sign of affection, so getting called a "f****r" or a "c**t" is not necessarily an insult, but it could be! Depends on tone and context. No wonder English can be considered a hard language, especially as us natives do our best to make it incomprehensible to most others.
Final score:
18points
K- THULU 2 years ago
As an Australian, I agee totally..... Swearing is a complex artform.... Once had to explain to young Vietnamese Australian co worker the meaning and various uses of the word C** t , and the appropriate responses!! I was so proud when he told an Aussie racist to " F**K OFF, C*NT!"...
Thenatural 2 years ago
Also the word 'total' can be prefixed to any word in the English language to create an insult eg....the blokes a total washing machine! Add 'f*****g' to emphasise your point..'the blokes a total f*****g washing machine!'
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago
One of my personal favourite insults that was pretty "big" in Scotland in the early 2010s was "twatwaffle". I still love using it.
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Big tip from the US and parts of Canada: We do not find those words friendly. Use them, and do not be surprised if you get a broken nose out of it.
#9
Mardy. East Midlands, meaning someone in a mood. Mardy Bastard. Someone who is usually in a mood.
Final score:
17points
mike henry 2 years ago
I grew up in Lancashire and anyone who displayed a lack of backbone or a whiney attitude was called “mard.”
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
Or as I once heard my Cousin (who lives in Leicestershire say), ' you can sod right off, I'm not mithered, you mardy old git' Which sort of translates as ' bugger orf, I don't care you miserable old git'. 30 miles down the road there is an entirely different way of saying the same thing.
#10
K******d. Pillock. Wazzock. Numpty. S**t for brains. Plonker. Dingleberry. Cockwomble. Numpty.
Final score:
15points
Bill Swallow 2 years ago
And then, for those who like to take the Mickey, there's this - Knight-Rid...09b1a2.jpg 
#11
Lived in Yorkshire for a few years and now "Anything" is "Owt" and "Nothing" is "Nowt". Try it!
Final score:
14points
cerinamroth 2 years ago
My mum would stand in front of us about to serve tea (that's the evening meal, not the drink) and would wave the serving spoon over everything and say "Owt or nowt?" with a challenging look on her face. Her cooking was terrible and it was a quandary every time.
Rebecca Broscombe-Adams 2 years ago
Yorkshire saying: If tha does owt for nowt do it for thisen. If you do something for nothing do it for yourself.
#12
Cob. The ONLY name for a bread roll, East Midlands again.
Final score:
12points
Stephen Smith 2 years ago
NO NO not just the East midlands. It's in all the British English dictionary's, as bread roll.
#13
It was hard to think of one that we don't also use in Australia! Then I remembered the word naff, meaning to lack taste or style. One I just found odd (and that confused my drama class, including the teacher, when we were doing a English play) was 'anorak' which is literally a raincoat, but in the context we found it, meant a nerd. Not understanding it, the teacher changed it to the word cardigan, which of course made even less sense in context!
Final score:
12points
Julie S 2 years ago
I think the term "anorak" meaning a nerd came from trainspotters out in the cold and rain wearing their anoraks. It also means someone who knows a lot about a subject i.e trains.
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
Naff is a bastardisation of naive (ie unwordly or, well, naive), somehow it's been attributed to bad taste.
Draperdorf 2 years ago
Adding to my previous comment, I guess a cardigan would be their spring/autumn attire!! Lol
Draperdorf 2 years ago
Anorak meaning nerd is because of train spotters standing on cold, wet platforms wearing anoraks.
#14
"Twat" it rhymes with "Hat" not "Swat". It can have two meanings. 1. A minor insult - "You're a twat" 2. To hit - "Oh no! A spider! Quick, twat it with this newspaper!"
Final score:
12points
Melody Shanahan-Kluth 2 years ago
this needs more upvotes - twatting something is en point for sure!
Wheely (Submission author) 2 years ago
It does indeed 🤣 I actually forgot about that one!
Load More Replies... Draperdorf 2 years ago
Then again, it's also possible to use it as an adjective, "That hit me right in the twatting eye!"
Load More Replies... #15
Tegs are teeth in some places!!!
Final score:
10points
Draperdorf 2 years ago
Teeth in a glass by the bed, but not when they're in the mouth?? Oh.... not what you meant by some places... ;)
#16
Tipsy, squiffy, blotto, sloshed, smashed, hammered, trolleyed, plastered, mullered, paralytic, s**t faced, pissed, wankered. All mean drunk. Hanging/hanging out of my a**e mean hungover.
Final score:
10points
Julie S (Submission author) 2 years ago
There were many many more I could have put
Load More Replies... Draperdorf 2 years ago
You can also be (completely) off your face or (completely) off your tits. Equally, it's also possible to say "I say, I appear to be rather worse for wear old chap" and you'd still mean drunk.
#17
The best and probably original swear in the UK is F**k So you can say F**k Me! Im amazed F**k you! You're an idiot F**k off! Go away F*****g hell! No bloody way! F**k! Literally for anything at anytime for anything! I dont give a f**k! I dont care Aww f**k ! Didnt want that to happen etc etc very f*****g versatile word is F**k
Final score:
9points
#18
Oh, there are *way* too many to choose just one, but as a techie, 'Dodgy' (of poor quality or workmanship) is a top ranking entry. The British to American Dictionary has a good list of slang (https://www.effingpot.com/chapters/slang/), but he seems to be unaware that Americans are already quite familiar with many of these. Compo Simmonite's use of 'Any road' (anyway) on 'Last of the Summer Wine' was quite charming. And Cockney Rhyming Slang can be delightful, as seen in the theme from the original 'Italian Job' - This is the self-preservation society, This is the self-preservation society Go wash your German bands, your boat race too Comb your barnet, fair we've got alot to do Put on your dickie dirt and your peckham rye 'Cause time's soon hurrying by Get your skates on mate Get your skates on mate No bib around your Gregory Peck today, eh? Drop your plates of meat right up on the seat This is the self-preservation society, This is the self-preservation society Gotta get a bloomin' move on Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba Jump in the jam jar gonna get straight (Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba) Hurry up mate, gonna be late How's your father? Tickety boo, tickety boo Gotta get a bloomin' move on
Final score:
8points
Lydsylou 2 years ago
The translation of that entire song is basically 'hurry up and get in the car we're running late'
Bill Swallow (Submission author) 2 years ago
Yep. And done in Glorious style! The translation would be "Go wash your hands, your face too, Comb your hair, we've got a lot to do. Put on your shirt and your tie, Cause time keeps hurrying by! ... No bib around your neck today, eh? Put your feet right up on the seat..."
Load More Replies...
Jon Lee 2 years ago
But a cockney would usually shorten the phrase so would say 'plates' rather than 'plates of meat'.
Bill Swallow (Submission author) 2 years ago
Agreed, but you should be debating the matter with Quincy Jones.
Load More Replies... #19
In far northern England, it sounds like, "divint dee it mon" and means, "don't do it man".
Final score:
8points
#20
Manchester- Buzzin' - very happy Mint - something very good Sket - really bad insult!! F#£ks sake - I can't believe you did/said that Our kid - anybody you've known pretty much longer than a year Aldier (Aldi-er) - somebody who shoplifts from aldi and will try and sell it to you with the security tags still on it Fagman - the shop that sells duty free or even counterfeit cigarettes and tobacco for about a fiver K**b end - just a stupid person really Bangin' - really good music or a bad headache Shudda as in his mam shudda give his dad a blow job - they really don't like that person. At all!! Barm - what lithe foolish people call a bread roll. Butty - sandwich Unit - used to describe large and/or tall people Proper - very Mingin' - disgusting Minger - ugly person
Final score:
8points
#21
Beeroff. East Midlands, possibly Nottinghamshire specific, the name for a corner shop. Means "Beer For Consumption Off The Premises" from the little plate above the door that such shops had to have.
Final score:
7points
#22
Old Yorkshire dialect, Sen, meaning self Got missen a right bargain at the market. Get thissen off for a weekend jolly. Myself and thyself.
Final score:
7points
#23
Gov'na = Boss. T****r = Mas*urbater. Cuppa = Tea.
Final score:
7points
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Exposure to both English and (Lowland) Scot in-laws resulted in me using this, to the complete confusion of 90% of people I meet in North America.
#24
Need to vent frustration? "awww BULLOCKS!" Translation: " awww BALLS!!"
Final score:
7points
#25
claggy - sticky, damp. faff - doing a lot of nothing
Final score:
7points
#26
‘Chunder’ to throw up .. as in the guy behind me in line chundered all over my shirt. ‘Munted’ had a lot to drink
Final score:
7points
#27
Bussin. It means really good, so when you eat something you can say “Dang that meal was bussin!” and everyone around you will get confused.
Final score:
6points
#28
1) Bawbag (Scotland): Slang for s*****m (We named a hurricane "Hurricane Bawbag back in 2011 and it became an Internet sensation) 2) Gallus (Scots language): Cheeky or mischievous 3) Your Minging or Yer' mingin': Used to describe something or someone that is unclean, dirty, or foul-smelling 4) Blootered (Orcadian English dialect): Very drunk 5) Puggled (Orcadian English dialect): Exhausted 6) Blether (Scotland/Scots language): To chatter away / a chatter box 7) Crabbit (Shetlandic English dialect): A grouchy person
Final score:
6points
#29
"Sherman" for an American person Sherman = Sherman Tank = Sherman Tank Yank = Yankee
Final score:
6points
Bill Swallow 2 years ago
Well, that's at least more polite than Cockney Rhyming Slang using 'Septic' as a pejorative for 'American'. Septic --> Septic Tank --> Yank.
#30
“They were having a Barney.” As in Barney Rubble from the Flintstones. “They were having an argument.”
Final score:
6points
#31
Gander: look at. As in Only Fools and Horses " oi, Rodney, get a gander at that" ( Only Fools and Horses was one of the best British comedies )
Final score:
6points
#32
"Slag" - The very word for insulting someone, talking trash about them. Such a simple word.
Final score:
6points
#33
Bob's your uncle! I don't know what it means, I think it's an exclamation of something good, please correct me if I'm wrong. I like it because I have a brother Bob. So if I told my son "Bob's your uncle" it would be a statement of fact. Otherwise, almost any insult sounds better in British slang.
Final score:
6points
Kharyss 2 years ago (edited)
Bob’s your uncle and F@nny’s your aunt! Edited: after all the profanity in this thread, it still won’t let me type F anny 😂😂
Tina Kathrarg (Submission author) 2 years ago
That's actually funny! And a little bit crazy. 🤣
Load More Replies...
Raphapablap 2 years ago
It's kind of like "there you are/there you go" e.g. get some bread, some ham and cheese on it, and Bob's your uncle, a sandwich. Poor example but you get the gist
Tina Kathrarg (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thanks, I wasn't sure. My husband was actually the one who realized that it was a true statement if said to our son. I thought it was a funny coincidence. 🙂
Load More Replies... Robert Millar 2 years ago
Originally it was said about people who got good jobs through relatives, specifically about Robert Peel, but it has come to mean something quite easily done. "push this button and Bob's your uncle!"
#34
arlarse - it's a scouse term, meaning a sh*tty action/person, depending on what it's describing
Final score:
5points
#35
Petrolhead, a car lover, gearhead, someone with petrol in their veins.
Final score:
5points
#37
Wánker. Tøsser. Means masturbatør.
Final score:
5points
#38
I somehow acquired "bugger" at some point from the UK in-laws, so that's my fave. Everyone I know in the UK laughs at my American voice saying it. So it at least amuses people :-) Oh, and I referred to BoJo as "too much of a k**b to be a prick". (This, FYI, did not amuse my Brexiteering English in-laws, but the Scots ones loved it.)
Final score:
5points
#39
Gert - South West for big Where's thick Gert bugger to then ?
Final score:
5points
#40
"cheese eating surrender monkey", a joke insult for French people
Final score:
5points
#42
Lush. Comes from Bristol area meaning a really nice.
Final score:
4points
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I here "Posh" a lot in Manchester. My impression is it's used to describe someone or something that's unreasonably luxurious. Keyword: unreasonably.
cerinamroth 2 years ago
I used to have a flatmate who said this all the time and it really got on my wick. But that was because she was annoying generally.
#43
Bodge-Bodge job. A bespoke solution for fitting something together. He's bodged that with tape.
Final score:
4points
#44
"minging" (ugly);"gutted"(disappointed); "snogging" (kissing); "manky" (a bit gross)
Final score:
4points
#45
Bollocks! For obvious reasons. Wanker! Yup, obvious reasons too. Yob. I have seen and personally know a few of them. Quite a list that I know but these are the major ones.
Final score:
4points
#46
Wanker, Bollocks, Bloody, Penguin ting, Mandem
Final score:
2points
What do you think ?
Alison Marchand 2 years ago
My favorite so far is "inconceivable jam flap"
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Wheely 2 years ago
There was a guy I knew got hit by a steam train. He was chuffed to bits 🤣
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Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him) 2 years ago
I call people I don't like knobs, they honestly deserve that nasty nickname.
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
spend quite a bif of time in the UK and have some friends who nonstop call eachother twat or c**t. i started paying attention on it and now i use it myself over here (not in the UK too) And i like Wellies for rainboots :-D
Wheely 2 years ago
It's great isn't it, we show love by being utterly offensive to each other 🤣
Load More Replies... Alison Marchand 2 years ago
My favorite so far is "inconceivable jam flap"
Load More Replies... Wheely 2 years ago
There was a guy I knew got hit by a steam train. He was chuffed to bits 🤣
Load More Replies... Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him) 2 years ago
I call people I don't like knobs, they honestly deserve that nasty nickname.
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
spend quite a bif of time in the UK and have some friends who nonstop call eachother twat or c**t. i started paying attention on it and now i use it myself over here (not in the UK too) And i like Wellies for rainboots :-D
Wheely 2 years ago
It's great isn't it, we show love by being utterly offensive to each other 🤣
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