We all have our little omens or our guilty memories that don't matter to anyone else. Something you said wrong that haunts you to this day, or a small sign that everything will be okay. Things like this that made a strong impression on you but no one else noticed...tell us!
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Firstly, it was my first day of school in I think high school but it may have been late middle school and I was incredibly nervous. I was walking to the bus stop when I noticed one of the zippers to my backpack was SLIGHTLY open, just a bit, and I paused to make sure nothing had fallen out. Now, I'd just gotten a brand new pack of colored sharpies for school, none of them yet used, and in the side pocket of my backpack (not the one that had had a hole in it but the other, what are the chances) one of the sharpies had fallen out and landed there, not on the sidewalk where A: it would have been lost or B: I would've had to bend over and pick it up which I didn't want to do but in that little pocket... it was my favorite color, too (a sort of dark blue-teal-turquoise). This little moment cheered me up and I was so confident everything would work out and I was so much calmer because of it.
The other was a negative one...it still haunts me, decades later. I had only been like ten at most, but I was an animal lover even then and I couldn't even hurt a mosquito without feeling guilty. Now, I'd been sitting on the bench by our koi pond in the evening, with a purple sky and trees and shade, and I found myself watching this huge, beautiful spider that had crawled to the tip of the water iris and had begun to weave a giant, mosaic, absolutely GORGEOUS web spanning the pond (which was quite large). I sat there, watching the spider weave her web and feeling the intimacy and beauty of the moment, it's pureness and simplicity, for at least half an hour, gazing out over the water and the spider's web. I'd named it Prince, at some point (it may have been Queenie, I forget). Now I was a fidgety girl, and I idly bent down to pick up this stick that was leaning out over the water. As I do so, the web twangs and spun, snapping and shredding, and the spider clung there to the ruined web while her home whipped around in all sorts of tragic directions. Apparently, the web had been anchored to the stick I moved. I felt so guilty in that moment, and I eventually started to cry because this web, that I'd watched being spun for almost an hour and so heavily appreciated, was broken because of me. To this day, I still think of that poor spider who worked so hard for that web...even though it doesn't matter in the larger scheme of things, I wish I could right that little wrong. It would make everything so much better in my mind.
Does this count? Ants 🐜
Standing next to a line of ants makes me feel big.
My two cats. Given their behavior towards me, they give me the impression of being a big cat, the big cat who feeds and protects these two forever loving kittens.
Raising fish. I always felt big when raising my fish , especially when uh they laid eggs
Insects, when I'm around insects I develop a god complex
