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Hey Pandas, What’s One Lesson Life Taught You The Hard Way, But You’re Grateful For Now? (Closed)
Life makes sure we learn. What lesson was taught the hard way but is now your favorite?
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#1
Make sure you are able to be as independent as possible, not only in terms of money, but also regarding life skills, health, relationships etc...NEVER rely on other people for your wellbeing.
Final score:
12points
Emilu 3 weeks ago
This. Or your happiness. More specifically; sure, be happy because you're with someone/have good friends etc, but don't make your whole sense of self about being with them. I've seen this so many times/experienced it a few times myself when I was younger and more naive. It hurts if you're not expecting it. And there are a lot of times when the friendship/relationship is uneven -- aka you're putting more into it than they are.
RELATED:
#2
Most 'friends' are only friends out of convenience. It takes some digging (and some purging) to find the actual ones.
Final score:
10points
#3
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Final score:
9points
Leg less In Minneapolis 3 weeks ago
If he/she cheats on their partner with you, they will cheat on you. Mother also stress, if they are married they are not going to leave it for yoU
#4
If you're growing close to a friend, check your friendship first. You do not want to be mistaken. You may see your friend as close but the other may not feel the same, or vice versa. I suffered from this and I had to break it to another friend. Feeling close to someone feels nice, but even better when both of you know. If you make it one-sided, though, you will be disappointed.
Final score:
8points
Alexia 3 weeks ago
I recently learned this the hard way. Wish I had checked earlier. Within the last 5-6 years I became close with this girl (or so I thought). I was there for her in several situations: the pandemic; arguments with her family; when her father was hospitalized and needed a certain rare type of blood (I have that type and decided to donate, instead of waiting 2-3 weeks as my doctor had advised); when she had a surgery and needed help etc. etc. Then - for the first time ever - it was my turn to face a medical problem and asked for her help (months in advance). She initially agreed, but then - just a week before my surgery - she told me "you know, I'm actually planning to go on a mountain trip that Friday". I've never heard from her again, not even a text message to ask how I'm doing.
#5
Your bucket list isn't going to magically complete itself. You actually have to get up off your rump and make an effort. "Someday" is not a day in the week, people.
Final score:
8points
#6
Another person cannot bring you contentment, nor can you bring contentment to another person. However, another person's actions can ruin your happiness. Be sure you are content within yourself.
Final score:
8points
#7
That at the end of the day, you owe no one (Outside of financial responsibilities). Parents, spouse, children, friends, not a single person. This is not to say that you should not try to be the best parent, spouse, child, friend that you can be, but it is not solely upon you to make anyone happy.
It sounds bad, I know, but when you go above and beyond to try and make people happy but you're always last, or never enough, or just plain worthless to them it is draining. Take care of yourself first, others to the point required, and get rid of those who only use you or put you down.
Final score:
7points
Papa 3 weeks ago
I gave this a down vote. Your first sentence says that parents responsibilities to their children ends with keeping them clothed, housed, and fed. Do you really mean that? You don't think children need love and affection? You don't think it's the parents responsibility to teach their children to be functional, self-sufficient adults?
#8
Tell the people you love that you love them no matter how frustrated or even angry you can get at them. When the day comes and there are no longer there, you can take some comfort in knowing that they knew how much you loved them.
Tell the people who support you how much you appreciate their support and love. It's easy to take it for granted and even easier to forget that it can be taxing on them to be your sounding board, therapist, confidant, cheerleader and they need to hear that their time and support is not in vain.
Final score:
7points
#9
Don't gamble.
Also, make sure your needs are paid for first, then budget your wants very carefully. And put some money into savings, even if it's only a few bucks or the change out of the swear jar.
I learned these lessons from going hungry and getting a couple of eviction notices during my 20s.
Final score:
6points
️Rando Panda (Submission author) 3 weeks ago
Hi! I should have communicated clearer in my post, and I apologize. I have only ever gambled once, and that was how I learned my lesson. I was not making money that I could afford to lose.
#10
Five months and five days I spent at the Henrico Hilton (VA). As a life long student and employee in various areas of the criminal justice system, nothing taught me more about incarceration than actually being in jail did. I could write a screen play on that experience. Both sad and funny. I burned my journal but have all the letters I sent to my mother.
Final score:
6points
#11
Always tell the truth. Much easier than trying to remember which lie you were using. Too bad if someone feels hurt.
Final score:
6points
#12
That every minute counts. A minute you're not doing what you need or what you like is lost forever. Nobody will give you back.
Final score:
6points
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
But also: don't get all panicky and frenetic and think that you have to optimise every second of your life. You WILL make "mistakes" - "waste" time on the "wrong" hobby, watch a mindless YouTube video, have a hangover. That's normal life. Don't become a Scrooge in relation to minutes.
#13
Regarding seasoning your food... You can always add more, but you can not take it away.
Regarding love... Yes it's work. But you shouldn't be breaking your back for it while your partner sits on their a*s and lives their lives. Partners. Not grunt and task master.
Regarding life... Trudge with dignity, humor and determination. No one gets out alive.
Final score:
6points
#14
Trust no one until vetted. Believe no one cares until they prove you wrong. Stop drinking now. Get off the couch and move. Call your mom while you can.
Final score:
5points
#15
Growing up with a narcissistic, gaslighting, a*****e parent. It wasn't easy, but I had such a clear example of how never to be. So many times I told myself that I wasn't going to be that way, or I wasn't going to treat people like that. I turned into a kind, observant, caring, awesome person.
If you have someone a*****e in your life and you can't get away yet, you can do the same thing. Learn how not to be. Be the awesome person you are. And if you can get away, do it. You can love someone and still get away from them because they are not good for you. Tell people, get help, be safe.
Final score:
5points
#16
I'd add: never postpone on seeing an old person. 3 years ago I decided to go see my grandmother on Monday, August 1st. Then I was asked if I could pick more hours at work and I said yes, no problem. I'd see my grandma on August 8th. She died on the 6th. It was a Saturday, two days before I was supposed to go see her. If I could undo one thing in my life, that would be this decision. It hurts too much after the fact, go see your grandparents, parents, childhood pets anytime you can.
Final score:
4points
Miss Ann Thrope 2 weeks ago
This. Cherish your elders. My mother was deeply hurt her grandkids had to be cajoled into seeing her. Now I'm the crazy old aunt my niblings only see when they have to.
#17
Stop being so accommodating, it becomes an expectation.
Final score:
4points
#18
When people ask you for advice, they don't really want your advice. They just want confirmation of what they already have decided, and if your "advice" doesn't match, you end up being the bad person. Have learned not to give my opinion or advice. This has ruined many a relationship for me.
Final score:
2points
#19
1) Don't go into debt. If you must (life happens), get out as fast as humanly possible.
2) Don't expect to receive what you give. Every friend (or relative, co-worker, neighbor, boss, etc) who enjoyed your _____ (patience, help, consideration, understanding, whatever), will find it unacceptable & intolerable if you dare ask for the same.
Final score:
2points
Dog Mom to Zoe 2 weeks ago
People won't love you the way you love them. Doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care, they just care differently. Once you understand that, you won't be so hurt all the time.
#20
That being the funny one does not get you any advantages. Jokes do not get grades. Jokes do not get good jobs. Which is why I am 45 and working a contract through a temp agency-no chance for full employment-for $18/hr. and the crappiest insurance known to humanity
Final score:
1point
#21
Interaction with humans (especially school and compulsory military service) taught me to hate pretty much everyone. Serves me well to this day.
Final score:
-1point
DrMalarkey57 1 week ago
I do hope you find a way to come out of your toxic thinking. There ARE some good people out there……
What do you think ?
StrangeOne 2 weeks ago
Fessing up to big mistakes and realizing mistakes can be corrected, messes can be cleaned up, and not everything is a crisis. Sometimes mistakes require a lot of work to fix, but it will get fixed. Admitting mistakes to someone is hard, especially if it involves your landlord, caretaker, boss, parents, or other authorities, that can be scary, but people generally tend to appreciate the honesty and your attempts at making things right more than lying and attempting to cover up something that might be more serious. I made a bit of a doozy with an attempted dyi I should've allowed by caretaker to do. I didn't want to bother him again. Welp, I was able to clean things up and anything I was worried about wasn't that bad and he said it wasn't that big of a deal. He thought it was much worse when I initially called him explaining what I had done and the mistake I realized I made, afterward. He was not happy at first, but I think he's just as relieved as I am and he know I learned a lesson.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
Gosh, so many are miserable "don't trust anyone", "don't give you might not get the same amount back"...ewww. And these people wonder why they're miserable. In their attempt to protect themselves from any loss they miss out on all the trust, love, friendship etc. Yeah, do nothing, start nothing - then you cannot lose anything. Sounds great! /s
Emilu 2 weeks ago (edited)
And what are your tips for making the world perfect, huh? You're quick to criticise, but not so quick to offer practical suggestions. Also, if you actually read the question the OP is asking, it's not exactly going to end up with sunshine and rainbow answers due to the nature of it. I think you're going senile in your old age, or maybe being a miserable crone has just turned you into an unpleasant person. Final thing, why come into threads like this when you know that you're going to be annoyed? Are you going out of your way to piss yourself off?
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 weeks ago
Fessing up to big mistakes and realizing mistakes can be corrected, messes can be cleaned up, and not everything is a crisis. Sometimes mistakes require a lot of work to fix, but it will get fixed. Admitting mistakes to someone is hard, especially if it involves your landlord, caretaker, boss, parents, or other authorities, that can be scary, but people generally tend to appreciate the honesty and your attempts at making things right more than lying and attempting to cover up something that might be more serious. I made a bit of a doozy with an attempted dyi I should've allowed by caretaker to do. I didn't want to bother him again. Welp, I was able to clean things up and anything I was worried about wasn't that bad and he said it wasn't that big of a deal. He thought it was much worse when I initially called him explaining what I had done and the mistake I realized I made, afterward. He was not happy at first, but I think he's just as relieved as I am and he know I learned a lesson.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
Gosh, so many are miserable "don't trust anyone", "don't give you might not get the same amount back"...ewww. And these people wonder why they're miserable. In their attempt to protect themselves from any loss they miss out on all the trust, love, friendship etc. Yeah, do nothing, start nothing - then you cannot lose anything. Sounds great! /s
Emilu 2 weeks ago (edited)
And what are your tips for making the world perfect, huh? You're quick to criticise, but not so quick to offer practical suggestions. Also, if you actually read the question the OP is asking, it's not exactly going to end up with sunshine and rainbow answers due to the nature of it. I think you're going senile in your old age, or maybe being a miserable crone has just turned you into an unpleasant person. Final thing, why come into threads like this when you know that you're going to be annoyed? Are you going out of your way to piss yourself off?
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