When I was 13, I weighed 70 pounds, when I was 5 foot ten. My mother kept criticizing me and telling me that I was fat. My dad kept telling me I was stupid. I was the first in my family to go to university. With my own money. So this is it.
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i love you.
I'm so proud of you, and you're the most beautiful girl in the world! (that's what I tell my cat)
I want to hear them actually speak when I try to have a converstation, instead of being glued to their phones. Everytime I talk to my mother, she is on her phone, and I have to beg her to put it down just so I can tell her something. Becuase of this, and just her lack of attention when I talk, I have developed a habit of repeating they same story or phrase multiple times in a converstaion because I feel like I am not being heard.
Wish my parents would actually listen to me instead of assuming and then yelling at me
"You're actually not worse than your half-siblings and that you actually matter and we care about you". That would have been nice...
You don't want to see my favorite book. My favorite novel, I drag it everywhere. Rain, snow: I read it. I read it, even if it is warped. Because it's the words that are important.
I’m sorry that I fuss at you for rereading your favorite books, I understand that they give you comfort.
Instead I get, “you’ve already read that! You need to read something that will actually expand your brain! >:(“
“I will respect your pronouns, I know that will make you happy” for context I’m a FtM transgender, and my mum uses they them pronouns for me, which is not my gender identity.
"I'm sorry I forced you to play nice with him."
For context: my mother is a recovering addict. She spent the first 18 years of my life doing dope, and it landed her in an abusive relationship when I was 7. I hated him with everything in me. He scared me, he made me uncomfortable, and he beat on my mom.
She made me play nice and friendly because she thought it made him "softer" (he was more likely to give her drug money when he was in a good mood. I didn't find that out until I was like 16)
She finally got clean and left him about 5 years ago. She went to AA and did the whole "apologize to the people you've hurt" thing. She took it very seriously, except with us.
All I got was a "I'm sorry I was high so much. But you turned out just fine!"
First off all, I turned out well ENOUGH, only because of my dad, who was our primary guardian and had outright told us he never would have left us be around her if he had known what was going on over there (which was mostly our fault for never saying anything. She'd told us not to)
Second, I did not turn out "fine"
I'm a wreck. I have horrible anxiety around men I don't know, I've never been in a relationship because every time a guy asks me out I think "what if he's a jerk? What if he's abusive?"
And I have an incredibly sorry temper now. I spent so many years letting my lines be crossed to please her that the minute someone crosses one now, I freak. I see malicious intent where there is none and it takes a LOT for me to fully trust someone.
I rarely talk to my mother now, and it sucks because I WANT to. I want to have a good relationship with her because I know she loves me and I see how hard she tries and I'm super proud of her for how hard shes fought to get where she is.
But she's still so far in denial about how much she f*cked us up that she can't admit it.
All i want is one real apology.
The drugs sucked, yeah. But being forced to be around him is what really screwed me up. She herself wasn't that bad, even when high. But it's the one thing she refuses to acknowledge.
Reading these made me sad. I'm sorry that you are all going through these issues. I realise how lucky I am to have the parents I had/have (my dad passed away 10 years ago). They weren't perfect, but I never felt anything other than supported and loved. It sucks that this isn't everyone's experience.
Reading these made me sad. I'm sorry that you are all going through these issues. I realise how lucky I am to have the parents I had/have (my dad passed away 10 years ago). They weren't perfect, but I never felt anything other than supported and loved. It sucks that this isn't everyone's experience.
