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“Only a honor citizen believes lies they have written about themselves.” - Here Lies, An Autobiography (saw it wrongly quoted in a book).
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#1
I could care less. It's "I COULDN'T care less."
Final score:
33points
Penguin Panda Pop 2 years ago
I'm upvoting this and your comment so that it sort of counts double.
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The Phantom Stranger 2 years ago
This one is so common that Weird Al included it as a lyric in his song "Word Crimes".
Dee Rutherford 2 years ago
Guilty. Even though I KNOW it’s it right. Living in yahoo town will do that 😏
RELATED:
#3
Music does NOT have charms to soothe the savage beast! it's breast! Savage breast!
Final score:
16points
Paul C. 2 years ago
When people say something along the lines of, "what do you mean, Pacifically ?" It's Specifically, for crying out loud!
Ozymandias73 2 years ago
Wait. What? That makes no sense. I've never heard anyone ever say savage breasts. EDIT: well damn. I had to look it up and apparently it was originally said in some play back in 1697 "Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast, To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak."
#4
"The proof is in the pudding" - a misquote of "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."
Final score:
11points
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
And it’s from an old sense of the word “proof” that means “test”.
Abbelius 2 years ago
I've seen this quote used in a video game I played in high school. One of the bosses used it (he makes food puns). If I recall it was something along the line of, "The proof is in the pudding...OF THEIR DOOM." Had to close the handheld for a minute because that had been the...silliest thing I had heard up to that point. 😆
#5
My favourite is that one that was attributed to Maggie Thatcher & used as an inspirational quote "You have to be lucky all the time. We only have to be lucky once" When it was really what the IRA said to Maggie after the Brighton bombing
Final score:
10points
#6
"I could care less." Every time I hear people, intelligent people, respectable people, normal people, un-intelligent people, anybody really, say this phrase it makes my blood pressure spike. Oh, you could care less? You COULD, so.... it's possible for you to care less than you do? You could? That means you actually do care! ::Sigh:: You numskulls, the phrase is that you "COULDN'T care less", COULDN'T. COULD NOT. Meaning you're as low as it goes, it's not possible to go lower on the scale of caring. Gaaaah! Heart palpitations, I need an aspirin. And yes, I predict that the most liked comment to my post will be something like: "I could care less how anyone says it." And no one will really know what they mean...
Final score:
10points
ketchup143 2 years ago
but that's what i used to think the point was--the fact that ur showing how little u care, and then saying u could care less, is a visual way to show u still have more to go. but i get what ur saying, couldn't care less actually does make more sense. i honestly use both now lol.
#7
The title of thileaders! I honestly thought it said "what's the worst mosquito you've ever heard?" Which only makes sense to me and my family, as we literally just fought off a swarm of golf ball sized blood suckers at our kids baseball game the other night. It was an epic showdown. I'm pretty sure I saw them fly off with one of our smallest players. I'll kknow if we all made it out alive at the next game tomorrow. God save the little leaguers!
Final score:
7points
Jen M (Submission author) 2 years ago
For the love of god...and Grammer nazis! In what must be some seriously meta shìr, I seriously published that and even my own title is "misquoted"! Should say "the title of this thread" Eff me. Sorry pandas!
#8
Chomping at the bit... It's CHAMPING at the bit! People got it so wrong, the dictionaries gave up.
Final score:
7points
David 2 years ago (edited)
While technically correct, this one is super nit picky IMO. Champ and chomp are synonyms (according to some dictionaries). Generally, champing is biting or grinding with the teeth (like one might do on a smoking pipe or a pen/pencil) whereas chomping is usually associated more with eating. But the general idea of biting down with the teeth is the same. I used to own a horse / be around horses a lot and yes they do this and no, of course they are not trying to eat the bit. But the general mouth motion was very similar to when they are eating grass or hay. Unlike many misquotes, this one does not significantly change the meaning of the term.
Anagram margana 2 years ago (edited)
Chomping/Champing is one of my all time pet peeves - thank you!!. But #1 is: For the love of God, people, stop saying “chase lounge!!!!” It’s “chaise longue.” French for long chair. This is not difficult to pronounce. At all!! So do it!!!
Jayeff Vee 2 years ago
My boss once said, really, "He mislead us down the garden path." I stared in amazement....
Herringbone 2 years ago
They have been variant forms for hundreds of years - both spellings are correct.
R Dennis (Submission author) 2 years ago
Hundreds of years is not accurate. Champing at the bit is from the early 1800s... chomping at the bit is from the early 1900s. jumping-at...d36932.jpg 
#9
For Brooklyn 99 fans: One of the worst/best misquotes of all time, "Yippie kayak other buckets." (Boyle misquoting John McClane in Die Hard)
Final score:
5points
David 2 years ago
Saying something you all know what they meant but said in a way that gets around BPs oh so sensitive censor bots. Kind of like the very abundant use of "frack!" on Battlestar Galactica.
Weim Central 2 years ago
I agree that the use of "frack" should be widely celebrated.
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#10
Not mine, but people thinking it was money is power, France is bacon (it's Francis bacon)
Final score:
4points
David 2 years ago
I am unsure what the 'correct' quote is supposed to be but money is power. There are a great many things you can do with wealth that you can not do without it.
Lemme get the lemons (Submission author) 2 years ago
Money is power(Francis bacon wrote it and is commonly included in the quote at the end)
Load More Replies... #11
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." was not what Gandhi said
Final score:
4points
Danish Susanne 2 years ago (edited)
But it was very well said. Wish it was me that had said it.
#12
"mods aren't our moms" (context I used to be a moderator for a minecraft server back in the day)
Final score:
4points
#13
The sixteenth chapel I’m gonna let that one sink in for a moment He thought it was the sixteenth chapel Michelangelo had painted He went on to brag about this to several people because he was such an informed expert
Final score:
4points
Sky (Submission author) 2 years ago
For context: learning about the renaissance in a HIGH SCHOOL class. Yes he was not in second grade. No I'm not joking though I wish I were.
The Phantom Stranger 2 years ago
Everyone know the fifteenth chapel contains the far superior artwork.
#14
I never bother about that. Those who mattered don’t mind and those Who mind don’t matter -not dr Seuss
Final score:
3points
Ozymandias73 2 years ago
Reminds me of how Bilbo made his speech in LOTR "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Tooky-Potato-fish-101-404message failure (Submission author) 2 years ago
Mine can’t either I think I was drunk when I wrote this
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#15
A friend of mine and his family use the word “teetotaling” to mean like “all in, all the way, to the point of overuse”. It actually means “barely dabbling.”
Final score:
3points
#16
Laura Norder. (Law and order).
Final score:
3points
#17
If you think ( so and so), then you’ve got another thing coming. It’s think not thing, because your first thought was wrong. 🤔
Final score:
3points
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
This has been debated before. As a 61 year old, I can say that it's always been "thing", only on here have I ever heard "think".
JB 2 years ago
I think it depends on where you live, what variant of English you speak. Growing up in Britain, it was always “think”. All my Brit friends and family still say “think” (I’m mid-50s now). Since immigration to North America, I have heard “thing” more often than not. I agree that making it a blanket statement is inaccurate, but neither the poster nor you are making any allowance for the fact this is an international site that includes pandas from ALL English speaking countries.
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Jill Bussey 2 years ago
It's THINK. THINK. As in think again. You had one thought and now you need to THINK again.
#18
When the officer said to the magistrate that I had called [the officer] 'A stupid C**T'. When what I had actually said was, he was 'Acting like a stupid C**T'. Subtle difference in words, huge difference in UK law.
Final score:
3points
#19
You can never trust what's on the internet...Abraham Lincoln
Final score:
2points
#20
My friend always says, “Take it for granite,” instead of “take it for granted,” but hers makes a lot of sense.
Final score:
1point
#21
Darth Vader to Luke in fact says: "No, I am your father!" NOT "Luke, I am your father"
Final score:
1point
#22
That question is mute
Final score:
1point
#23
Tow the line.
Final score:
1point
Robert Trebor (Submission author) 2 years ago
It represents a total misunderstanding of the concept.
Load More Replies... #24
In meetings, a former manager used to tell us he didn't "want to pour salt in the womb." No, he wasn't trying to be funny (nor would it be). He had a few other misquotes of a similar nature, but this seemed to be everyone's favorite.
Final score:
1point
David 2 years ago
How would anyone not get this just from practical life experience. Most of us have had salt or other stuff like lemon juice get into a small cut. Salt is also a way to sterilize if you don't have better options but it hurts like hell. Perhaps the manager heard the term "saline abortion' ??
CA3 (Submission author) 2 years ago
Yes, one would think so. No, regarding the abortion reference. Sadly, he was simply ignorant and uncultured, which one would have expected to be a roadblock to getting his job. However, his boss, in a different city, was more interested in replacing our previous manager with a "yes man." Although it's a sad commentary on our global company, I take some solace in knowing BP is filled with stories of corporate incompetence.
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#25
"The customer is always right" and "blood is thicker than water", mainly.
Final score:
0points
Ray Horowitz 2 years ago
No, these are just internet myths. "The customer is always right" is the whole quote, and "blood is thicker than water" is from a German idiom that means exactly what it says.
David 2 years ago (edited)
The customer is always right in matters of taste. The shortened version is not wrong per say if used in that context but the problem is it is often misused to mean the customer is right about everything. . Blood is thicker than water IS the correct quote. The common misuse is not in how it is said but in confusing what it means. The true meaning is the blood of battle is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning that warriors / soldiers who engage in battles together often become bonded more closely than people who are just part of your biological family. This is one i had backwards for years because of how commonly people misuse it thinking it means the opposite. And I don't get why folks are down voting Martin Kaine for saying the customer one correctly. In another thread I got upvoted for saying the same thing.
Vanessa Steis 2 years ago
Just for Information, in case someone wonders =) The Original: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” The saying means that chosen bonds are more significant than the bonds with family or “water of the womb.” More directly, it means that relationships you make yourself are far more important than the ones that you don't choose.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
No, the original is “blood is thicker than water” and it means what people think it means. https://www.bookbrowse.com/expressions/detail/index.cfm/expression_number/642/blood-is-thicker-than-water
Load More Replies... #26
"First let's kill all the lawyers" is not meant to say that lawyers are bad. It's the villain, D**k the Butcher in Shakespeare's Henry IV who says that and he wants to get rid of lawyers so he can get away with his crimes. And the correct quote is “The first thing we do is, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
Final score:
0points
marianne eliza (Submission author) 2 years ago (edited)
I did not ** the butcher's name. it was auto.
David 2 years ago
I didn't even assume that. BP does that all the time. D**k tried to turn the k**b but the door was locked.
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What do you think ?
John Baker 2 years ago
I suspect at least half of these examples were made up by the submitter, and some aren't even misquotes. They're just bad grammar.
g90814 2 years ago
please report as spam. downvoting doesn't work the same way as it used to.
Load More Replies... John Baker 2 years ago
I suspect at least half of these examples were made up by the submitter, and some aren't even misquotes. They're just bad grammar.
g90814 2 years ago
please report as spam. downvoting doesn't work the same way as it used to.
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