Jut say the insult and put your answer in quotes.

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#1

Once my sister said "You're so ugly!" and I said "Oh hey, we're twins!"

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User avatar Ruby White
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kalyssa8168 avatar
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2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anyone ever says that, reply with: “Oh, am I a mirror today?”

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    #2

    "At least I don't have to hide behind my insecurities by hurting other people."

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    #3

    someone[mybully} said"lets ignore her today!" me"I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NO ONE WILL KNOW UNTIL ITS TOO LATE!!!!!!!! I AM JUST AN INISENT FLY ON THE WALL!!!*villain laughter*n HHHHHAAAAAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

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    #4

    One of the best I've seen (I think I stole it from a bp list) was "First of all, brush your teeth. Second... *insert your rebuttal to their statement*" I also love "Okay? And?" accompanied by a blank/expectant stare

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    User avatar A Wild Bean (they/them/any)
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    kalyssa8168 avatar
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    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister tells me to brush my teeth- but like, I just ate? You want me to carry a toothbrush with me at all times for after every meal or smth? And the second one, I’d respond to that very literally. Them: “Okay? And?” Me: “Take it as you will, young’n. If you mess up the interpretation, that’s not my fault…”

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    #5

    If someone gets all angry with me and just starts spewing some vile stuff I wait until they finish and say "If you wanted to make out with me that badly you could've just asked."

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    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't really understand this, but its good.

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    #6

    if someone says something mean to you like for instance you your ugly i know you are but so am i so on and so on until they something nice like your pretty and then you say HANK YOU SO MUCH HOW SWEET OF YOU! and then walk away

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    User avatar JESUSLOVESYOU!
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    kalyssa8168 avatar
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    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also do that for my sister lol. Then she gives me that “I smelled a fart” look and responds to my “I know your are but what am I?” With another “I know YOU are but what am I?” And we just go back and forth

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    #7

    “I will shove my foot so far up your a*s you will become a scarecrow” -blue mouse

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    User avatar Blue_Mouse (is gone!)
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    #8

    Just say "Go to French hell". It will leave them wondering French hell is.

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    User avatar Disona
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    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm part French. Also many of my friends hated French class in high school.

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    #9

    My usual comeback to my sister’s snarky remarks: Her: “Your face is ugly.” Me with a straight face: “You’re one to talk.” Her: “Be quiet!!! I have a beautiful face!!” Sometimes I just stare at her. She’s big on emotions and I’m not, and my staring makes her more upset. “Stop looking at me!” Sometimes, for people on the internet, I respond to insults and remarks with a very serious, non-sarcastic reply. Someone says something snarky and I say very pointedly “you are incorrect about this, you assumed THIS without any evidence, and that was a misunderstanding. Also, I don’t do that other thing either. Don’t stereotype a whole group based on some of the loud mouths’ actions :)” I use “:)” for a “this is a warning” face. I use “=)” for a genuinely friendly face.

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    aleshastow_1 avatar
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    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I'm slightly scared on some of the emojis I've been getting

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    #10

    I was annoying a coworker by asking the same question, phrased differently, several times one day. She was on a deadline, totally stressed and trying really hard to be patient. i was new to tech support and really did not understand our ATM software so I really needed to know. About the 5th time she explained it again and finished with "and why don't you just tatoo that on your a$$ so I can get back to work". Stunned for a moment, I paused, then replied "well, ok, but it will be backwards in the mirror sooo"

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    User avatar A girl
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    #11

    I once told a guy that called me fat (I’m not) that he looked like. Blonde celery stick.

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    User avatar Blue_Mouse (is gone!)
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    #12

    "The jerk store called their running out of you." George Constanza (seinfeld)

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    User avatar Enochrises
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    #13

    This guy I used to work with asked me our a few times. Each time I sad 'no' so he asked me why. I told him 'for many reasons. One being I'm allergic to penicillin.' I wish I had a 🎤to drop afterwards.

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    #14

    "Do you know who I am?" I know who you think you are.

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