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Hey Pandas, This Is A Safe Space For Secrets You Want To Get Off Your Chest
It can be anything, really. If you have anything you really need to state but don't have a trusted person to speak to, this is your place.
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As a 13-year old computer-nerd I almost tanked one of the biggest companies in the country's server-park including backups, by spilling a full can of pepsi in a server room. Noone saw it, and I'm still clear to this day. But man I was f-ing fast out of there :D
Ah yes, forgot to say the company name - it was Skanska :p
And since then, they never allowed tours in the server parks again.
Hearing people say that if a woman has a C-section that she is not a real mother is like a knife in the gut. I have two children and would have loved to have them naturally. The closest I got was giving birth (per say) to a miscarried child at 22 weeks. His twin was removed via D&E. A C-section is NOT the easy way out and it doesn't lessen the love a mother has for their child. People think before opening your mouth.
Stuff them. Who cares what shittypeople think? I had my kids the usual way but couldn't breast feed. Turns out my breast are merely ornamental (my joke). It hurt, literally and figuratively, to not be able to feed them. They're healthy affectionate teens anyway. You know you're a good momma. Tune out the negative jerks. <3
No one has the damn right to make Any judgents about you! To Hell with them Hon! Please don't let them diminish those special moments you shared carrying your kids! I used to carry around a bag of Corks and when people carried on about things they had no business talking about l'd wordlessly hand them a cork and walk away.. Best Wishes Hon, l've been There too, a couple of times. 👍😉🌹💜
You absolutely are a real woman. One that has been given a crap hand in life. I'm sorry for your loss. After having 3 miscarriages myself, that pain is unforgettable.
Load More Replies...what an awful thing to say to some one !! you are a mother not matter how the child was brought into the world !
I don‘t care whether you had your children naturally, via c-section or adopted them. As long as you love them and try to raise them happy and safe, you‘re their mother in my eyes.
I had 2 natural births, luckily. I say luckily because a C-section is a major surgery. I can't imagine trying to take care of a newborn and try not to rip your stomach open. The judgements women get from just trying to do their best is insane!
You're absolutely right. You're a mother your way. Don't take what other people say to heart
I really like the movie "Tank Girl" and I don't mean ironically. I know its horrible but it brings me so much joy to watch it.
You are Not alone, another l Loved that was canned by critics is "Hudson Hawk"
Omg I love that movie still not sure sand showers actually make you clean tho lol
I have good movies that I love, and bad movies that I love, knowing full well how awful they are. Highlander, anyone?
I don’t understand what’s wrong with liking Tank Girl. Maybe the people who judge you just have really shitty taste in movies. The probably think Gravity should have got an Oscar and that Frozen is good. I would rather scoop my eyeballs out with a splintered wooden spoon than sit through Frozen.
I cant come out. I’m in a safe, loving home but I can’t. To me coming out as bi means jumping off a cliff of safety into the unknown.
For some people it's normal to only love one gender, others fall in love with a specific person, regardless of their gender. There's really nothing wrong with seeing a person's soul first.
Me neither, my friend. I have the exact same problem, loving home and all. I'm just so worried as to how they'll react, and especially scared that someday I'll realize that I'm not bi anymore. And if I had already come out by then, my parents and family will judge me for it. "You know, didn't you say you were bi?" "Oh man, remember that time Raven thought she was bi?"
Had similar feelings before coming out. Lots of self doubt and pressure that once I "announced" it, there was no turning back. Fear of judgment etc. Ultimately the freedom and ability to be authentic was with the risk... And having been 17yrs since coming out, I can say what I knew was true back then hasn't changed. Do what feels safe, but you know what you know!
Load More Replies...I know what you mean, just wait, someday you'll feel comfortable enough to come out. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here and I'll always listen
I know exactly how you feel. I came out to my parents, but I regret it because I feel less safe somehow, even though I know my parents love and support me.
I feel you. My advice is do it. The scariness is only short term, especially if you're in a loving home.
Sometimes its not what we Want to do but what we Have to do. At the end of the day we have to be comfortable in our own skin. I'm sure you will do it IF and WHEN you are ready. Best Wishes Hon. 👍😉🌹💜
I thought I couldn't, but then I did and now I feel so amazing and free!
I'm the exact same. I don't believe my family will react too badly but it will raise the issue of the fact I don't trust them with being Bi. I've had too many times when important parts of my life or mental health weren't taken seriously or a single sentence was given when I needed comfort.
I paid for her sons glasses without her knowing
I lied on my initial resume for work 12 years ago and I mean everything. Degrees, former jobs, and expertise. I have been with the same company and have been promoted multiple times up to director and run a team globally with around 1500 people reporting to me at any given point….I have to lie from time to time when people talk about my past and it kills me to lie but I love that I can support my wife and daughter without worrying about money. It’s a constant level of shame and pride.
In the world of anything that is the truest statement.
Load More Replies...My work (without getting into much detail) has to do with the world paper industry and nothing in the medical or legal world. No harm allowed.
Load More Replies...Holy sh$t......that's both amazing and scary at the same time. I lied about having a college degree and one of my job reference.... have been at my job for over 5 years and had someone casually ask me what college I went to...my mind drew a blank and I couldn't remember what I put on resume!!!!
I wouldn’t worry about it at all. If your company did not do a background check to verify all that at the time you were hired, then they don’t care about those details. It’s ancient history now.
Nah, people have been fired for this same thing years later. In the company's eyes, everything about their position and pay are related to that resume, and they've been robbed and conned if it's fake. All it takes is one person who dislikes him enough to dig into it. He's never going to be completely safe.
Load More Replies...I appreciate it but even though I know I do a good job and can see the gains I have made for the company, many of the people I hired are being promoted(many of whom were under qualified), and my family is growing and healthy/happy...I do honestly get a wave of shame from lying once or twice a week to not only my company but my wife. Never told her my resume was a lie.
Load More Replies...That's a secret you have to hold forever. With google and some sleuthing it could come out. They can and probably will fire you no matter your track record. I wish you good luck in keeping this hidden. I really want you to
I always felt like I was doing everything wrong but people just kept praising my work. I found through all of this intelligence means many things. In school I couldn't do any math past algebra and barely algebra at that, but I pick up processes very fast, problem solving, and I have been told many times I can bring a room to agreement quickly and painlessly. Intelligence comes in many forms.
Load More Replies...When you feel the “guilt” or “shame” remind yourself. You are not that person anymore. And look at the life a few little fibs got you. A wonderful spouse, and a child who wants for nothing. So a couple of little fins were worth it. My CV is nearly all fiction.
I’ve been depressed for a long time but I’m taking my time to find out who I want to be
I, too, have "suffered" depression for a long time. Since I was 13, in fact. So far, I have not had a major relapse for almost 8 years. I'm 63. You will get there.
I think that is a Very good idea! And remember you're an Original, there's not anyone in the world like you, so be Glad about it !
Okay! I help! I have had both problems before, and it helps to get a pet!
Very positive thing to do. Longtime sufferer here, luckily mainly under control, but been very difficult recently, today managed to speak to my doctor which I'd been putting off for far too long :(
Actors and musicians and politicians need to stop spreading bullshit misinformation about COVID vaccines. We all need to get one so this can stop!
With all the variants we've seen in such a short amount of time, I'm betting it's just too damn late. People who don't want to, won't. It's become a hill a lot of people are going to die on.
and they'll blame their death on the doctors and experts who begged them to get the jab. because God forbid they ever account for their terrible decisions
Load More Replies...Even trump got his COVID vaccine. Wtf are you doing NOT getting your vaccine people??? I am getting Pfizer next month when I’m eligible
And Half of the republicans. They booed Trump when he said people should get vaccinated. All of the freaks with their conspiracy theories. 2 radio hosts anti vaxxers died recently of COVID, maybe their fans will get vaccinated
Has it occurred to you that so called “anti-vaxers” may simply have an issue with an mRNA vaccine that has literally no long term safety data? Just food for thought.
Load More Replies...There have been so many lies and manipulations that no one believes enough of anyone. Just let it ride. Take your own precautions. Don’t expect anyone else to do it for you. Be responsible. Accept that you are responsible for your own health and safety. Don’t blame the guy next to you. He or she wouldn’t be there if you weren’t. Just live life, be happy.
That's all nice and good, but when a knuckle-dragging moron coughs on you, it's infuriating. I have had both shots, I wear a mask. Both of those are precautions, neither is a cure. The only way these precautions will work is if a significant percentage of the population uses them. They aren't.
Load More Replies...please remember in your judgements, not all who want the vaccine are able to get it (auto-immune sufferers for instance) for reasons other than they are selfish a-holes
Ever notice..when humans over populate we had a war to thin the herd. In the history of humanity there has only been approx 378yrs of peace. Think about that for just a moment. Its now been far too long since the last great war. So now we have Covid. Oh, FYI What started the ongoing 1st & 2nd World Wars? Do You Know? It was because the death of an Arch Duke in Austria! FACT! You're Welcome.
Was it though? Really? Just because of the death of Arch Duke FF? Or is that MAYBE what was used as the excuse?
Load More Replies...Alternately, people should have the right to self-determination.. God forbid that I might be viewed as a critical thinker capable of making my own decisions about my body with a virus that has (for my age group) a fatality rate of 0.01%. Just as a casual aside.. are you aware the WHO in October 2020 changed the definition in the quiet of night (figuratively speaking) of herd immunity to mean WITH a vaccine? Funny that...
So science changes when the information changes. Just in general. Also right now 99% of the people in hospital are unvaccinated. Fun fact: the medication Actemra it's now being taken away from people with lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, which are genetic diseases that people have no control over, and being used to treat people in hospital with a disease that's totally preventable by a vaccine and Public Health measures. So your so called right to self determination is causing innocent people to suffer. You don't exist in a little world all by yourself. You affect other people. Obviously your critical thinking skills need some work.
Load More Replies...TW for s*xual assault: When I was 12 I was sexually assaulted by my nephew Who was an older teen at that time around 17 I think. It really hurts to keep this inside and not tell anyone at home about it but at the same time I feel like there's no point in telling them because all it would cause is family problems plus I don't I'll be able to answer their questions or explain it to them in details so it's just easier not to open up...I wish I opened up at the time it happened. I thought I forgave him for religious reasons but it still hurts me and I end up crying randomly sometimes, it's been 4 years and I still feel uncomfortable seeing him although I just talk and pretend nothing happened because that's what he does and I bet he'll gaslight me if I confront him about it
Please find a good therapist who c an help you process this awful, awful thing. You and your health are worth fighting ft or.
You are not obligated to forgive. Please find someone you can trust and who has a certain wisdom in such things to confide in.
I'm so sorry! 😢 forgiveness doesn't mean you forget! in fact, if you could forget, you wouldn't need to forgive! and forgiveness doesn't mean you have to interact with him either. what he did was not ok and you have no obligation to act like everything is cool. ghost the dude and live your life! ❤️
Dealt with this all my life; finally got to therapy. Don't wait, get someone you can talk to otherwise it will color your relationships and make trust difficult.
It's such a hard position to be in I went though similar was an older cousin when I was 5 didn't realise that it was wrong at the time just thought it was a game but as I grew up it all came back to haunt me and it's caused so many problems in my life but it's been 35 years and still only my sister and sone close friends know
I'm sorry to know you went through that too, yea it's awful
Load More Replies...Thank you guys for the advice/sweet comments I appreciate it ♡
I am so sorry you had to experience this, darling. That is truly terrible. Please remember that even though you can forgive, often you cannot forget. I would advise avoiding your nephew as much as possible. I'm your age, and I know that it is hard to speak about things that hurt you. Please, I beg you, tell an adult if you can find someone you trust. This is a terrible weight to bear alone, and an adult may be able to confront him where you cannot.
I hope you find a therapist and can find a way out of your family situation. I was sexually assaulted as a child and it took me years to find a therapist and get away from my family but I have finally started to heal. I hope you find the help and support that you need and just know you're not alone and it's ok to feel what ever you feel about it.
my best friend moved all the way to the other side of the country and i miss her so much and i pretend im okay but in reality it feels like my life has no meaning anymore, and she was one of the only things keeping me alive. now that she's gone i just want to end it all but i can't tell anyone because im scared they'll just tell me "oh she's the one who moved she has it worse than you" and ik, i just dont know why its hitting me so hard and i hate it
Please don't do anything drastic. I would be happy to show you what help is available. It is a sad thing that you feel like you have lost you best friend, but think about the guilt and pain she would experience if you were to kill yourself because she moved. You do not say why she moved and if it is temporary or permanent. Is there any chance you could move closer to her? If not please remember that there are so many ways to keep in touch these days- video call, texts, social media. It is not the same as being with her, but you can stay connected. Only a kind, compassionate person could miss a friend so dearly. Please stay strong. Your life has value and meaning and the world would be a much worse place without you. Tomorrow will be a better day.
she moved because her mom got a new job, it's most likely permanent, and even if it's not, she won't move back near me. She doesn't have any devices so the only time i can talk to her is when she has her moms phone, which, as you can imagine, is not often. thank you.
Load More Replies...I’ve moved like 10 times during my childhood. Do you got a phone to contacts them?
yes i do but she doesn't have a phone so she has to use her moms phone, so she can't be on it that often
Load More Replies...Okay i don't know how to fix this, but i'm gonna say some things and try to help. Think about her. How would you feel if you'd just moved away from everything and everyone you'd ever loved, and then suddenly you hear your best friend in the world killed themself? Also, you may be holding a lot of people together. I know my cousin is suicidal and if he died, i know no one in his life would ever be the same. Anyway, i'm here a lot if you need to talk and i know most people seeing this post will want to help you too.
Look I know what you mean I’m in high school with generalized anxiety and clinical depression it’s hard but I myself have learned to trudge on
Are you sure you can manage? Are you getting any type of help? High school can be rough, but it really is a small part of your life and is honestly over very quickly even though it may not seem like it now. Please stay strong and use the resources available to you. I have seen too many wonderful young people succumb to depression, please don't be one of them.
Load More Replies...I get it. Loosing your best friend is really hard. My best friend moved away and then I moved away too so we barely see each other. But you can make it work :) we have been friends since 2008 and in a "long distance friendship" since 2012. I havent seen him in about 2y with the pandemic but we really talk a lot via whastapp and skype. I am super excited because today i will see him and i am over the top. You can make it too :) ot will be tough at the begining but you can do it :)
Have fun seeing your friend :)
Load More Replies...Whenever a person leaves your circle, they make space for another person to step in. Sometimes it's someone you need, other times it's someone who needs you. Be open to let that new person step in, they may need your help badly.
my friends are like my family. we have a close knit trio and even though we all live in different cities in our state, we still text and facetime every day. they have both saved me multiple times. one of my favorite quotes from one of them is "think about this. butterflies can't see their colors. they fly around, unaware of their beauty. so if you ever feel insecure, know that WE see your colors." love you forever <3
I was depressed during Covid, but felt guilty because there were people worse off than me My mom told me; Just because someone else has more pain, it doesn't invalidate your own. Don't be afraid to tell someone. Asking for help can be really hard, but it means that you have someone else there to support you with your burden of sadness.
So, you wanna know where the bodies are?
I followed a post on another BP page, and put them in pineapple juice after removing teeth ;o)
Nope. It was a nice bit at the edge of the forest.
Load More Replies...my secret is a black jellycat bunny plushie who comes everywhere with me in my pocket 😬 i know its stupid and theyre for babies and im an adult and a goth/metalhead but i have autism and squishing him makes me feel calm, id die of embarrasment if anyone saw him 😂
Maybe you can make him a little head-banger cosplay costume. Just in case someone sees him.
I did! 😂 its a shame i dont think i can post a picture
Load More Replies...You're allowed cute things and comfort in your life. You have every right to have him, you don't need to feel embarrassed.
If it makes you feel better that's all that matters xx FYI I keep a approx 59 year old Rupert the bear next to my( and my husband's ) bed xx
I completely understand your feelings. I have a teddy bear that travels everywhere with me, including in my backpack on motorcycle trips.
I'm a Goth too. My favorite companion? My panda bear James :). He's been my sleeping buddy for 3 years now. Can't sleep without him. Wear your plushie with pride!
You are who you are. Personally, I am kinda afraid of goth/metalhead people, so knowing that you need your bunny makes me feel calmer.
We look scary but most of us are really lovely people! i went to a meetup of punk and metalhead types and it was the funniest thing ever, everyone had tea and cake, everyone brought their dog, fussed over everyones dogs and complimented each other on their patches/jacket/hair it was brilliant and the complete opposite of what people think 😂
Load More Replies...Give him a goth name. There is nothing wrong with needing a little calming. If it works for cool.
I am dating a non-binary person
Honey, 62 yrs old and I GUARANTEE you would be surprised what is in my pocket when I walk. And I don't give a rat's ass who sees it so hold that head up high!
I’m really angry at my husband who died 6 years ago. I’m not angry because he died, I’m just angry.
Today is the 6 year anniversary of the death of my mother. Grief can take all sorts of weird paths and anger at being left behind is normal. A grief counselor may help you but I completely understand if you don't want to try that. I used to write letters to my mother then burned them. I got out all the frustration, pain, confusion, etc in them.
24 years ago today for me. It did take a long time for the grief and its constituent parts to fade to digestible chunks.
Load More Replies...It is totally okay to be angry. You can be angry until you eventually figure out WHY you are angry and find a way to tackle the root of your anger. That can take a lot of time
Anger is one sign of the stages of grief. Experience it. And let it pass to acceptance. No one can dictate some kind of allotted time. Try writing it in a journal. Hold nothing back.
I actually did that very thing. I broke my pencil lol. It feels better now
Load More Replies...I wish my mom would be done mourning my abusive dad. But he was her everything. He wasn't abusive to her, just the kids. It's hard to listen sympathetically.
I haven't experienced this. I can only ask questions that might help. Are you angry at him because you trusted him with your feelings, and him dying made you hurt so much? Maybe you feel angry for abandoning you? Are you angry because it changed how you perceive you fit in to the world? Perhaps you both had friends you liked to meet with, but now it just doesn't feel right without him there too? Maybe you are angry because you put so much effort into the relationship and it seems like you were left with nothing? I don't know if these questions will help you at all, but maybe it's a start.
My husband of 30 years died in an accident 2 years ago. I miss him and mourn him every day. My secret is that life is now better without him.
This is far more common than you may think, and nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sorry for your loss, but happy for your new life.
Many reasons, my anxiety levels are significantly reduced, I no longer stress about money, no more fights over stupid stuff. We had a good marriage for the most part, but the last 2 years were terrible. And yes, I feel guilty as hell thinking these things.
Load More Replies...I know the meaning of life, but I'm scared to tell anyone about it. But it does involve cake.
That's funny because I know the secret of life and the answer involves frosting.
Any cake, I'm not prejudiced. But it definitely has to involve cake. Personally, Bakewell slices; they’re a delightful combination of raspberry jelly (UK, Jam) frangipane and almonds, finished off with a sublime short crust pastry.
Load More Replies...I have a really bad case of negativity. I always map things out in the worst case scenario and it brings me and others down. Does anyone have any solution at all?
Try using it as a starting point and think of what you want to happen: That is the best case scenario. Remember "Si vis pacem, para bellum" - "If you want peace, prepare for war" or "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst". It's not easy, I know, my son suffers from PTSD, anxiety and so on, and often let focusing on the worse case overwhelm him. He does things like write down a goal, write how it should be achieved, think about what could go wrong and think how to turn that into something positive. Doesn't always work, but he's trying. It might not work for you, but try different things. If you find yourself overwhelmed by doubt and bad feeling, try to find someone to rage to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRD51qEJ8t4
Thank you so much for this advice. I will follow this as well as I can possibly follow. I can't say how much this helps me.
Load More Replies...Accept your worst case scenario: that's the lowest it can get. From that starting point, find 3 solutions. Every problem has at least 3 solutions; if you don't like the obvious one, take a step back, look at the big picture and try a different one.
I think mapping worst-case scenarios is actually useful. Don't use it to bring you down but instead as a way of preparation or mitigation plan. Make plans on how to avoid bad possibilities or if encounter what's is the best way to deal with it.
This trait in me annoyed my ex. It's a good survival trait. Thinking forward to avoid bad situations. (That's how emergency services manage) I learned to keep planning ahead, just without talking about it to those who can't handle it.
Load More Replies...I think positivity is a muscle (that I can't get my mother to use, so we'll see if I have any good advice :) ). Practice will build it up. And giving yourself permission to start small with just one positive thought. And be kind to yourself; if you mess up don't give yourself sh*t. I've put a lot of effort into practicing distracting myself from toxic thoughts. I keep meaning to explore meditation more to help myself control my thinking processes. Actively looking for things that make you happy.
Look up ‘woop- wish, outcome, obstacle, plan’ and ‘mcii- mental contrasting and implementation intentions’ planning methods. Both require you to visualise a goal, establish a list of everything which could go wrong (which you’re already doing) and then put in place plans to mitigate each step. It’s been proven to greatly improve your chances of success so it sounds like you just get stuck too early in the process. Good luck with it
ahaha I'm sorta in love with my best friend...No clue how to tell her so for now it's my little secret. :)
Ayyyy! in the same boat! the real killer is that he used to like me *face palm* and then I kind of fell for him a month after he kinda-sorta confessed. Yayyyy! Cheers to many tears! may the dragons bless your conquest.
That happened to me, but he rejected me because his friend was nearby. I am now honestly glad we are just friends now
Load More Replies...I too was in love with my best friend. Toward the end, after two failed marriages each, I found the perfect lady and, she found the perfect man very close in time. Ironic we found the perfect marriage material around the same time. Looking back, we had a perfect friendship, but marriage would have ruined the love, level of trust, that companion that we could share things openly with. We meet in high school, she was a sophomore and I was a senior. Fifty years of playing, sharing, helping, and loving platonically. I have the same feelings for why wonderful wife. I never knew anyone like her existed and I love her more every day because now I have been more love to give her. After fifty years my best friend died unexpectedly. My wife allowed me to grieve and boy did I ever grieve. I had the best of two types of love. The strongest survives, and now I wish to live forever, as long as she is with me. The love for my friend I hope survives in my good memories forever.
wow...I'm not even sure how to respond to that but thank you so much.
Load More Replies...Dw mate I had the same problem 😂 my best friend was very shy and the most straight-presenting girl you could imagine but we got there in the end and it’s been really lovely. We’re all cheering for you 😊
Haha thanks. Hopefully it works out but if it's going to work it's going to have to be really really slow for now.
Load More Replies...I wasn't in love with her, but I really had a crush on my best friend. It's not until quite a while later I realized, but I have 3 people I talk to: that friend, my cousin, and another friend. I've been trying to tell my cousin for ages (she's gay, so it is much easier to talk to her about sexualities), I managed to tell my other friend who said that she's had crushes like that too, but I've never actually told her, either XD.
Haha no way, my cousin was the very first person I came out to ever.
Load More Replies...I'm thinking I might be bisexual, but honestly I don't know. I know I'm attracted to guys, but I'm really not sure if I'm attracted to girls yet. Also, I am super worried about one of my friends. He's really depressed and I don't want to lose him seeing as I may or may not have a crush on him. I know there's no way I can fix it seeing as I have mental health issues too (bad case of anxiety), but I'm trying to figure out a way to help him in some other way.
For me, discovering if I was bi, I pictured myself with another girl. In my case, she was my best friend that I had had a crush on for a while. Then I started talking with other people, realizing that I actually was attracted to both genders.
I have a crush on my best friend and it’s confusing
Load More Replies...Be with him and let him know you are there something that almost drew me to suicide was the feeling of being alone.
Keep exploring your sexuality, don't be afraid of it, and soon enough you'll know. As for your friend, you can help by checking up on him often and reminding him that you're there for him.
Maybe talk to him about therapy - you have issues, he has issues - what does he think about it. Less threatening to him if you can admit that you need help, and ask for his support with therapy. The sexuality issue can be dealt with as part of the therapy.
I don't know if we are able to fix depression in other people. He needs to talk about it before you can help him to get over it. Talking - it's one of the best fixers of any human problem. Just listen when he talks, don't try and help, just let him get it all out, that's if he wants to. Then maybe if things get better, you can talk to him about your anxieties, too.
I knew a guy who was depressed. Spend some time with him, it’ll really make a difference
hay gurl I'm going through the same things so if u want to talk sometime we can
Shhhhhhhh............ I'm hunting wabbits.
I still love my ex. It's been 3 yrs since. Pretending that i just want to be single etc. A lot of people believing at my advice so i just keep my feelings. I don't want them to see that the person they believing doesnt even know how to move on. I still love her even thou we didn't talk for a long time. I just keep ignoring it but i know i still love her
Husband still loves his ex, and we have been married 21 years. Accept that this love will always be a part of you, but see what else is around you, too.
This might sound harsh, but I don't mean it to be. This is about moving on. You love a person who is partly fictional. I'm guessing you see her once in a while? Maybe you overhear her when she laughs while talking with somebody and it brings tears to your eyes. Maybe you see her walking and it's hard to breathe and you die a little inside. Been there, done that. But she doesn't love you back, so it hurts. You aren't getting what you need. You imagine how great it would be if she loved you, but that person you imagine doesn't exist. You can't make her exist. You need to change your perspective. For me, I coincidentally had to visit a different country across an ocean for a week. I realized that the person I was obsessing about was a very small part of the world, and not really significant compared to everything else. I still had feelings for her when I got back home, but she just wasn't that important anymore. I hope you find some way to reach the same conclusion.
Why did you two split up? I would imagine any chance at reconciliation would depend on why you split up in the first place and where she is at in her life if you are still very much in love with her.
Hon, get help. Honestly. Best Wishes in the future, and yes there is one for you.
I find it really hard to talk to other people about my depression and how I (almost) committed suicide. I feel like all I would get is pity and people telling me not to do it. I'm not going to because I've changed my mind and I am not in the place I was. Any advice??
You are a hero for staying alive and not giving in to the sadness. You are brave and strong and a wonderful example to others who feel the same kind of sadness. Thank you for sharing! Finding the right therapist makes a huge difference. Keep looking if the first few aren't a good match.
I've lived with clinical (severe) depression for all of my adult life. I've been through similar feelings that you are going through. But, and this is important, it's through the likes of you that I know I'm not alone and that gives me strength and I hope it does for you. Your opening up to others means others open up to you, hence this comment. Yours, s.
Just because it could be worse doesn't invalidate the pain or sadness you have now. If your depression returns, or is still there, please ask for help. I know it's really hard, but it can help you cope so you can be yourself again. I have anxiety and depression medicine that helps level me out, so even if I get sad or depressed, I don't go so deep that I lose myself.
Find the right people to talk it over with. A therapist? A really understanding friend? Just good people. You don't get "pity" with the right people, you get understanding and support. I hate the one that puts their hand on my shoulder and tells me "it'll be ok", I just want to break their arm! I need someone to help steer the boat.
One thing I learned when I was suicidal - that place is always just around the corner. Read the previous comment, and then read it again, because she is talking truth.
I was depressed in college and didn't understand why. A vivid dream made me realize I was feeling trapped, like I had little control over my life. I ended up leaving college five weeks into a spring semester and went home. I needed the change of scene to get better. I made up for the lost classes in summer school. It wasn't cost-free, but leaving was what I needed at the time. Your situation is very likely different than mine, but maybe you can think of something unexpected that will release you from that feeling.
As a mental health social worker, pleas, please reach put for help from professionals. Drs are a great place to start. I often find family and friends give the wrong advice unwittingly.. please dont be afraid to try antidepressants etc if the dr prescribes them. Ps i have worked in adult mental health for about 17 years ..
Okay so what do you is the root of your depression. Remember the universe would suck without you. We need you around. Your creative, smart, and necessary. You count.
One time I drew on the wall of my parents house with a crayon when I was a kid and blamed it on my little brother who got punished instead of me. I pity the single child, no one to point your finger at to escape punishment!
That happened to me as a really little kid. Neighbor kid drew on house, handed me the crayon and ran off just as the parent came around the house. Taught me to watch out for and avoid sneaky people. You're fine. Kids do all sorts of crappy stuff.
I was an only child until I was 4 and a half. I could just cry and cry and my parents would say “it’s ok want to make peanut butter chocolate chip cookies?” Then I’d eat like 3 cookies worth of dough. I was still their little angel daughter 😇
I'm not suicidal, but if I was to die right now, it wouldn't bother me. I care about my family and my friends but I just don't see any way for my life to improve at the moment. It probably will, I just can't see it....
Ups and downs sweetheart. When it comes to the crunch, it’s the pain you cause those left behind. Just remember, this too shall pass. Even if “this” last days, weeks or months.. an eternity in the moment. Write. Write and write and write. Death is a part of life, but life is the longest thing you’re ever going to do. I feel you.
Yes, suicide is very painful for those left behind -so much guilt, so many what-ifs, so many questions. A terrible legacy indeed.
Load More Replies...I felt that way A LOT in the last couple of years..... just keep on keepin on!
I work as a mental health sw .. please talk to your dr, this can be signs of depression.
Okay. First of all. I am glad you are here. In a safe and consensual place of honesty, and transparency. Sometime you have to be patient. Each day is a new to try.
As a suicide attempt survivor and now speaker this is a really big warning sign. Change something, no one says it has to be a big thing. It could be writing in a journal twice a week, drawing, puzzles, collecting rocks, a 5 minute daily walk, it doesn’t have to be a big thing as long as it gives you something else to focus on when you feel like “it wouldn’t matter if you weren’t here”
I know nothing about your age or situation, but I'm a huge proponent of changing one's perspective. Can you change jobs/careers? Can you volunteer somewhere that desperately needs help? Meeting different people could be very beneficial.
My father passed almost five years ago and I'm still grieving. No one knows this, I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk about it. On the surface, it looks as if I had moved on, but in reality, I´m still deeply sad.
OK, you can talk about your pain. You don't have to talk to a friend. Talk to your dog, or cat, or, even, a tree. You need to articulate your feelings. You need to "hear them" spoken out loud. Hearing them, allows you to "see" them. In that you are no longer focusing on one tiny or big thing, but putting them into perspective.
You never get over grieving loved ones, you just learn to live life and manage your emotions at the same time. I would highly recommend seeking out a therapist. You might be surprised how much it may help.
The stages of grief take the time. And there isn’t a time limit. Might I suggest this. It was once said to me. That it’s okay to grieve, but if you don’t let go, they can’t rest, and move on. Give them permission to move on, that you will be okay and carry them in your heart.
In 2 months it will be the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death. He was also a good friend and I worked with him, we lived in the same house and it happened suddenly so in a blink I lost the person with whom I spent 90% of my time. I have been trying to stay strong for mom, assuming all the responsibilities and doing all the paperwork of the inheritance (with a stupid older brother and evil in-law trying to sabotage everything). At first I needed to have something around that had been his, like his watch, or keychain, to feel that he was still there somehow. Then I decided to get a tattoo in his memory, and it helped a lot. If he can see it from where he is now, he will know that I remember him everyday, and when I look at it, it reminds me that he will always be with me somehow. I have anxiety and when I panic I can see the tattoo and think that he's there with me. Another thing we do at home is having a picture of him in the living room and talking to him --> (continues)
----> as if he was there like "whoa dad, did you hear what mom just said?" Or telling him about the day. I also recommend an imagination exercise: Imagine a room or place only for you two, where you can talk to him freely. Everytime you miss him, go to that room and chat about the day, decorate the place with things he loved, imagine him interacting with them and how he'd reply to the things you tell. Change things now and them, like if you used to go fishing, change the scenery and imagine both chilling on a boat having a beer in example. I do think we stay connected somehow and giving him a place is easier for communication, if that makes sense.
Load More Replies...I miss my father every day, and when anything goes wrong, I wish so much that I could talk to him. It is very hard and it's exceptionally hard that others don't understand why I grooved so long. You get more used to living with the grief and sadness. It doesn't go away (8 years ago for me) but it becomes livable in public. I did therapy, it was ok.
I felt this my sister committed suicide 12 years ago and I ache everyday but don't tell anyone
My therapist says that each new occasion of grief brings with it all the other griefs you have experienced. You will always miss your father. Your father would not want you to be so twisted with grief that you cannot function. Read the previous comment, and know that talking to someone (even the tree), or writing your feelings will help you.
I don’t care how bad it is, Sharknado is the best movie series I’ve ever had the honor of watching
Yes, I agree. The plot, characters, and quite frankly, everything about the movies, is terrible, but it had an interesting concept that I would love to see be redone… but better
The fact it’s so bad is what makes it great
Load More Replies...one time I ate one of those packing peanuts when I was like 8
I used to have a cat that ate styrofoam. Little white blobs in his poop. Lol
Don’t worry. Once I ate that artificial snow stuff you can spray onto windows.
You meant the strofoam ones or the biofoam ones? I've tried the biofoam ones, they're not very tasty.
I’m not really sure, I just remember I bit one, put it back and r a n
Load More Replies...After almost dying of covid. walking into the clinic where I work scares the f*ck out of me.
Many of us appreciate your bravery! That's not a trivial thing to do. Is there anything that can make you safer while you are there?
Putting something on a public website, on the internet is the LAST "safe" place, are you nuts??!!
Especially when it shows your user name right there above the Post button.
I've silently struggled with an eating disorder since I was eleven. I'm doing much much better now, but it's still a process. Only my internet friends know currently- I never told my family.
I don't know who you are. I don't know your situation. But I believe in you. I am sorry that I cannot offer much else, but if you need to, I can provide an outlet to vent to :).
I'm a really huge pushover and too nice for my own good, and it's really hard and I think I might really need therapy because I dont tell anyone about anything because I dont want to inconvenience anyone! There was this one time the gym teacher in 5th grade made us do a plank the whole hour nonstop because someone said a couple words while he was giving instructions, and I couldnt straighten my arms and everyone was in so much pain that the gym teacher was reported, and I DIDNT TELL ANYONE! I was scared that my parents would move me to a different school and I was afraid people would lose their jobs, I was afraid I would get grounded, I was afraid my parents were gonna have to pay like 10,000 dollars for it!!! I really need to get off this habit!
I have the same problem (not with the mental issues, but with the pushover.) The best thing you can do is say no. If its important, dont do this, but if someone starts using you for there own goals, saying no will help you build confidence, and start to solve the rest of it. Im still suffering it, but this is the best advice i can give. Hope it helps!
also, for the anxiety try breathing, but every time you take a breath, you sink deeper into the ground, and more away from your problems. It really helps me.
Load More Replies...I was that way as a kid. One day I fell off the jungle gym during recess and sprained my arm, but didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to inconvenience my parents, who both worked. My dad noticed me holding my arm and grilled me to find out what happened. I also hated staying home when I was sick. Eventually grew out of that habit when I saw that most people, nice people, were sympathetic when someone was sick.
I might be a "highly sensitive person". It is a psychological terms that means someone who might experienced stronger psychological reaction, whether it is positive or negative, compared to normal person. Some says it is a gift, since you can be more emphatize with others, but I see it as a curse, since it causes me more pain to the point I used to be suicidal. I want to go to psycholog or therapist to address this matter, but in my country (Indonesia), if you ever go to one, you'll be stigmatized as mentally deranged person or worse, "less than a normal human". Even most companies or insurance companies will track your record if you've ever gone to that kind of place, thus lessen your chance to be approved. Up to now, I'm still relying on self-help or self-therapy if you want to call it so. But I'm open should I've ever met a therapist that could keep the session with me discreet.
Maybe you can seek some online help? I only did a super quick search and found these; https://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/online-listings/ https://www.telementalhealthtraining.com/international-counseling I have too been over sensitive. Have had a long history of mental health issues and luckily an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I was misdiagnosed for a long time, bipolar and BPD being treated as depression. Talking and medication has helped me immensely and I hope you're able to get some assistance. I'm very lucky to be in Australia, sending good thoughts. x
Thx for the suggestion and good-wish... :) Didn't think about the international channel before... Because my spoken English is not really good... Written English is another case... and it could be a hinderance during a therapy... But maybe I'll give my thought on that...
Load More Replies...What about religious help? Here in Canada, I have seen a number of different priests, and they have helped me.
Some people could be helped by the religious activity like praying or reading religious books. This one I agree. It helps me too to a certain extend. But this alone is not sufficient. A priest is not always a psycholog after all...
Load More Replies...I’m 13. I have depression, I am non-binary, I like women and fellow enbys. I have a history of self harm, multiple suicide attempts, and are VERY insecure. My self harm started when I was nine, I didn’t realize it was self harm until I got older. What I would do is find shards of glass and cut my fingertips, I squeezed the blood out and licked it up. (The taste of blood is somewhat satisfying). My self harm escalated at about 10, I found scissors and cut my arm, i kept doing so until I was caught, they hid the scissors to help keep me safe. I visit my grandmother often, she often goes out for smoke breaks, I would go to the kitchen and cut my arms with a knife. I would hide my arms, and got caught again. I’ve learned to cut my legs instead. I’m insecure about my chest size, not because it’s too small, but because it’s too big. I’m not content with being a girl, I dislike the title and do not want lady bits. I have a transphobic not supportive “family member” I do not consider him a part of my family because of how harmful he is towards me. It is not physical but verbal, he keeps trying to convince me that I’m a girl and that I always be one. He always disrespects my pronouns (they/them) purposefully and does not accept being corrected. I hate him for how disrespectful he is, and whenever we get done arguing he goes back to talking like nothing happened and it infuriates me. I always wear a smile and positive attitude, and whenever I’m alone I rest my face and try not to cry.
hey, fellow 13 year old enby here too. i don't know if you want someone to respond to this vent (if you don't, i'll delete this). you don't know me, but i'm here for you. i understand what you're going through (started to sh with scissors when i was 11). please try to sh less, i understand it relieves everything for a little bit, but i rlly want you to stay safe (/gen). remember 2 use training/sports bras to bind, get a dysphoria hoodie to wear so you can feel more comfortable about your body !! you're so absolutely valid !! - from a fellow genderfvck ^^
Thank you I appreciate it!
Load More Replies...Trying to convince somebody that they are a girl when they inform you that they don't want to be known as one is just horrible. I am very sorry, my friend. Your family member has received a disownment card XD. Good luck as you go forwards, my friend.
Honey, I am so sorry that you feel this way. I just want to hug you (If you let me) and tell you it will get better. You are very young and you are still somewhat dependend on your family. But you will gain your independence, you will be able to surround yourself with people you like and that care about you. Please try not to cut yourself, even if it feels like thats the only thing you can control. You will grow up to be a beautiful person. I hope you will find your happiness. Please be safe, it will get better!
Why do you repeat the arguments with him? Save your breath to cool your porridge, because he is never going to change. And get help with the cutting. I understand the need, but they call it self mutilation for a reason. You are a wonderful and very brave person. Get the help you need to become all that you have the power to be.
Sometimes I can’t deal with life I lost my mum last year and since then I feel so disassociated from the world it’s like I’m constantly living a nightmare that I can’t wake up from . But I have 3 kids and a house and a dog and a husband and I keep going through the motions everyday but I just want to stay in bed because it’s all too much
You have depression. Meds and therapy can raise the curtain so you can see the sunlight again. It will never be perfect, but it can be better. Please reach out for help. You are so worth it.
The previous comment sums up the situation. Get help, not for the kids and the dog and the husband, but for you.
I didn’t know what love was until my current relationship even though I’m in my late thirties. I feel so lucky to be this happy.
Tell them you love them and don't want to see anything bad happen. Offer your time and your attention. If you didn't, and they did kill themselves, that would be a hard pill to swallow...that you felt it might happen but you didn't say or do anything and try to reach out. They could be hurting immensely. Let them know that you care and want to help and be supportive of them through whatever they may be going through.
??? I don't think this is at relevant!
Load More Replies...I paid for her sons glasses without her knowing who did it
I don't like the majority of my family. It's not that they're bad people or anything like that. But if we weren't related, there's no way I'd spend time with them. I'd never tell any of them that because of course it would be monumentally hurtful, but I feel like I have nothing in common with them, disagree with most of their opinions, and our personalities just don't mesh well. I love them and I know they love me, but I feel like a complete outsider and like it's not safe to be myself around them. I've made excuses to avoid the last several family get-togethers. There have been several times my feelings have been completely invalidated over things that really, really mattered to me, and that's made me not want to talk to them about things that are important to me. How can there be a good relationship when you can't be authentic or open or vulnerable around your family? And honestly, I low-key suspect that a lot of them think me coming out as nonbinary and pan is bullsh*t and just won't say it to my face. Also not a great feeling.
Surround yourself with people that understand you and you will care less about the opinion of "Family". Real family are the people you choose in your life. It is really important to have a good support system. Flowers only bloom in the right environment.
Been there, although for different reasons. I agree, don't tell them you feel so alienated. Make a new decision every time there is a get-together. Think also of your younger relatives - maybe they need an example of how to think for themselves, if you can be that example. I am not saying it will be easy, but if you are living a life true to yourself, that is all you can do.
I'm not a fan of my family either. They're all typical conservatives who enjoy gossip. I can't think of anything I find more repugnent.
I feel exactly the same, i never go to family get togethers anymore i just feel really uncomfortable, i have nothing in common with my relatives and i’ll never come out as non binary to any of them exept my mum they wouldnt understand it 😞
Also, taste and food? Where did that even come from??
Load More Replies...im an introvert but deep down im an extrovert, i want to be able to talk to people and have fun and make friends but my anxiety makes me too awkward around people to do so, ik its not that uncommon, but its been eating at me inside
Ive been there. Constantly worried to say the wrong things. Sometime i started to care less and less what other people thought about me. Since then i have an awesome group of friends and i able to talk to strangers (People even find me charming... very strange..) took a while to get there.
my voice is hypnotic to most people so im alr charming (also im an ambivert that switches inbetween intro/extrovert)
Load More Replies...I have a crush on my friend whew
haha for that my friend, you get a follow
Load More Replies...i'm scared i might have multiple personalities/be a system. for the past couple of months i've been hearing many different voices that weren't the average intrusive thoughts. they have different genders, ages, pronouns, names, and they pop up somewhat often. for the past few weeks or so some of them have also. taken over my body somewhat? and just pushed me out of control of my body with a vague awareness on what was happening. i am aware that multiple personalities and systems are mainly created because of childhood trauma. however, i can't remember my childhood. it's such a stupid situation that i can't even explain to my therapist because i don't want to make it sound like i'm faking it for clout or something. but it scares me so much, i hate not being in full control over myself, and i hate not understanding what's going on in my head.
Although I haven't experienced anything like this, I at least know what you mean about wanting to be in control of yourself. However, it seems reasonable that you won't know more about what is going on until you allow yourself to let go a little bit at a time (in a safe environment). Eventually you'll learn something important that you can use. Also, tell your therapist what you wrote above.
thank you for the advice !! unfortunately my therapist believes im faking because apparently a lot of people fake having multiple personalities. but ill try to figure it out !! thank you again ^^
Load More Replies...It sounds like you might have schizophrenia. Please, please...talk to a doctor. You will not be judged for reaching out for help. You probably will be glad you did. They can give you tools to better understand and manage your life! Good luck!
I would advise the educational YouTube channel called DissociaDID. I love the system that is on there, and their channel is very helpful in education about DID. It really does sound like you have it, but I am no expert. Off the top of my head, the DissociaDID members of the system are Kyle, Jade, Nina, Omega, Connor (?) and several littles.
It sounds more like schizophrenia. It tends to manifest in the teens or early 20s. If your therapist can’t recognize this, and they’re someone you’re not comfortable being honest with, get rid of them and find someone more empathetic and more qualified. You can find a way to feel more normal, but you’ll need the help of a compassionate, qualified person to help you do so. It will be hard and likely take months or years of trying different therapies or medications, or combinations of medications, but if you keep at it it will be so worth it!
oh i went through something close to this abt a year ago, felt the same way abt the therapist too-
is it alright if i ask how you dealt w it/ how you're dealing w it now?
Load More Replies...I have a friend who was in a similar situation. I think you should talk to your therapist. Not saying you have to tell them everything at once, but I think it’ll be good for them to know so that they can help.
one of my friends misgenders me on purpose daily and I dont know if I want to still be friends
tell that bommy to f**k off and get yourself a new friend you deserve better
Rephrase: One of my friends cuts me with a knife on purpose daily and I don't know if I want to still be friends. Hopes this makes it less confusing for you.
Oh I tried calling her he him back but she keeps telling me I'm a girl(afab)
Load More Replies...My mom is mentally ill but doesn’t recognize it. She hurts me constantly with the way she talks… always angry, justified and rants continually about government theories and judging people. I can barely talk about anything to her because any discussion, ever as basic as the weather, triggers one of her rants. When she does this, she can go on for hours, repeating the same things she has said for years and her manner of speech is so angry hateful and aggressive. It’s escalating into racism and severe judgment of all. The times I have GENTLY and LOVINGLY confronted her, she won’t let me speak and talks over me angrily justified. It triggers more ranting. I want her to know how much she hurts me and my family so she can get help, but I am afraid she will kill herself because she is also depressed. I love her unconditionally.
My heart goes out to you! I hope you find a way to get through to her.
I had sex with guys that are 20 years older than I am. I was 13 at the time. Do I regret it? Yes, for having friends that lent me their family members to me. Biggest mistake ever (happened in a small town)
Please talk to the officials about that. Thats horrible and those people need to be stopped!
I wish it was done before I moved out of the small city. It's no longer in my favor
Load More Replies...No one has complete control of their life. Personally I think that's where a little faith & hope comes in. If you step back you might see you're not controlling them they are controlling you. Be easy on yourself. Don't hink life has treated you kindly. Be easy on your own self. Forgive yourself and move forward. Be empowered to take care of yourself. Life is adventurous, comedy, tragedy, blessings and loss....but life is an awesome miracle in humans, plants, & animals. Hope preach/ teach helped more than hurt.
People think I'm a know-it-all and a teachers pet because I blurt out answers in class. But I literally cannot control it. I have tried everything and get blamed every time it happens.
Have you ever researched Attention Deficit Disorder? Please do. Both of your issues are common in ADD/ADHD kids/adults. You learn fast so you’re a “know-it-all.” And spontaneous blurting is common. Please check it out.
I did take the test. It said I was ADHD, but my parents said I wasn't because I was a gifted child and that test was for normal kids.
Load More Replies...I know, I’m that person to. Always was considered Nerdy, like those YouTube videos portray you and me and anyone else out there. If you want it, here’s my advice: Don’t let people put you in a box.
Whatever the underlying reason, maybe you can ask yourself "Is it my turn?" before you speak. If this is a real problem, you could ask your teachers to ask other people by name for answers before asking you.
Dude. DUDE. READ THE POST. "But I literally cannot control it. I have tried everything and get blamed every time it happens." I CANT CONTROL MY MOUTH ITS A DIRECT HIGHWAY TO MY BRAIN FFS.......i tried............I TRIED.
Load More Replies...Today is the day that I have realized that the "treat others how you wanna be treated" thing never has worked for me. That was what I lived on, I always have been waiting for the day that people would treat me nicely, help me like I've tried to help them- but everytime I try to tell people whats going on they leave me on read and it sucks. I just want people to acknowledge that Im sad and help me with it but no one is doing s**t. I wanna give up but theres one little thing keeping me going, whether its my pets or family/friends I dont know. Anyway to everyone reading this, hope your day wasnt as sucky as mine :]
Did you ever say to a friend : "Hey, I'm really feeling like crap and I need you to listen to me and see if you can help me?" Subtle hints almost never work. Be direct and tell them what you want or need. Beating around the bush is the main theme for a lot of comedies, but it ain't funny anymore when it's killing you inside.
Willing to bet that if you told friends that you are depressed, they will be shocked - they have likely never seen it
I was home educated. I spent my teen years as a child and am now struggling with the jump into adulthood. I am ignorant and never learned the social interactions or life skills you'd find in secondary school. I loved my extended childhood at the time but I'm now horribly out of sync with my age group. I've seen home education done well, but maybe don't when you live in the middle of nowhere and can't affored the transport to give your kid a social life.
Don't be so sure being educated at home is the biggest part of this. I went to school, and I'm completely out of touch with every age group. I didn't fit in even when I had friends, and it was really weird being an outcast from the outcasts. Nearly all of my social interactions are online now, and the few I do have are with co-workers, and are thankfully brief as I couldn't cope otherwise. Before anyone says, no I'm not on the spectrum.
I'm homeschooled, and my family isn't social at all XD. I've been able to gain a semblance of what normal teens do nowadays through the Internet. I'm doing well, I think. I've interacted with hoomans in driving school, the ACTs, and at church sometimes. I'm a bit out of touch with humanity, but I like it that way. But I understand how living in the middle of nowhere can impede social life.
Have you read the book Educated, by Tara Westover? Sounds sort of like your life.
So... I'm 27 and I've never dated anyone in my life. But that's not the secrete. The secret is men scare me.
I have a friend who is suicidal and every day I'm terrified they're going to kill themself.
Family and/or friend intervention? You can have a counselor come in and manage the discussion.
First of all- Ask them if they are suicidal. Admit that that you worry about them. Acknowledge it and be there for them. Ask them if they thought how they are going to end their life (they usually already have a clear plan), get the numbers for the suicidal landline, offer medical help asap. Don't ignore the situation, act quickly. You may save someone's life.
I think I’m gender fluid but I don’t wanna be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being genderfluid, I just hate how confusing it is. I’m afraid that I will confuse others and myself. But I don’t want to be stuck with a name and pronouns that sometimes don’t suit me.
You don’t have to. No one can tell you who you are or what you are. It’s your choice.
that's completely valid! if you don't want to identify as genderfluid you don't have to. and even if you are, you can go by multiple names, or a name that has different forms that are more masculine and feminine, for example: wave/waverly. you can also make pronoun bracelets to wear when you feel like you identify more to one side ^^
i ate bacon as a vegan
Just yesterday I saw a stand-up comedian do a bit on veganism. He wondered if a vegan was on death row, would they choose a salad for their last meal or go straight to a double cheeseburger with bacon?
thats ok. every vegan has one food they eat, even if its an animal product.
Yeah, I guess. Okay this is a bit weird: I can’t sleep without a stuffed, pink, bunny security blanket. I am now in my teen years and I still can’t sleep without it. I like squeezing it’s ears at night, it just feels so calming! It has been sewed up, patched up, and had much work done to it to keep it in good condition. It went from fluffy and bright pink, to a more rough, brownish-pink (because of how many times it has been washed).
57 years old here and I still cuddle with a stuffed puppy to sleep!
i freaking love that, thats adorable, and i love it, and i have something like that too
I'm in my teen years, and I have a 2 foot tall stuffed panda that's been well-worn now. I sleep with him all the time.
I’m decently self conscious, even though it doesn’t really show. Getting a binder has helped a lot though, so has the mask wearing for Covid. No one can see my face or my expressions. I don’t have to smile. I like it. I don’t play with my bird as much as I should. I feel bad for that. I haven’t really told anyone I’m omnisexual. I mean, I act pretty gay lol so I think some people suspect. The reason I want to be famous is so I won’t be forgotten as easily when I die. I don’t want to be forgotten. I’m jealous of my only child friend sometimes. Also I was the one who made the power go off because I stuck the tweezers in the outlet.
There is NO safe place for "secrets." A secret remains a secret if only two people "know" and one of them is dead.
I have depression and have been lying to everyone when I say I'm fine; I'm not. I tried taking my own life three days ago by drinking 20 energy drinks in one go
dont you dare kill yourself the world isnt done with you yet. you still have so much left to do in life! You have so many awesome things you could do! so just throw away the energy drinks, k?
Thankyou for the kind words my friend, it means so much (^_^)
Load More Replies...I think you need to tell some. Talk to some friends, family, a counselor, a therapist, or try a suicide hotline. People will miss you if you’re gone. Don’t worry, things will get better!!
Thankyou for your kind words my friend
Load More Replies...I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
Please try to find someone to whom you can express your feelings. It might all feel really bad right now, but things can get better. One thing that helps some people is, even though it feels nearly impossible to do so, find a way to get outside, even for a walk around your block. Once you conquer that, you can venture to other places of interest, maybe a bookstore, or whatever appeals to you. I am sorry you are feeling so alone while dealing with huge life changes. Please know you are of value, and I truly hope you know this.
Please see a therapist to get u thru this dark time. You deserve to live and experience joy. Those ppl are not ur friends if they can't even be bothered to check in on u. You can find true friends but it takes a lot of time and effort and sometimes a lot of inner work on oneself - been there. But please talk to a professional if you have no one else, they really can help u manage ❤️
I vehemently dislike my bitch of a head teacher. She is a backstabbing micromanaging mediocrity.
Tell her in her face. What can happen? Worst case scenarios: If you're a student you get expelled and the problem is solved. If you're working at the school you get fired and the problem is solved. Best case scenario: People support you and she changes her attitude.
I keep opening up emotionally to someone I know will only hurt me. I want to stop but I can't.
What are you gaining from this behavior? You must find some reward in it or else you would have stopped doing it.
How did you choose this person? Are you trying to get closer to them, or are you looking for anybody who will listen?
Im nonbi and pan. Thats it thats the secret
Thank you! Im glad to be here :D
Load More Replies...and that's okay :D assholes who are saying that's not the true you and you were not born that way are not you. YOU ARE YOU so YOU know YOURSELF better then them.
:) that made my day! Thank you.
Load More Replies...My secrets go so deep I keep them from myself.
I'm out as pan/lesbian but I'm actually genderfluid and my family doesn't know.
I know i don't know any of you but it feels good to just put it out there
Ooh, like Alex Fierro! I love that girl/guy! That's awesome :).
I accidentally flooded my house.
My mother died three years ago. These three years has been the best years of my life. I'm finally free. She sucked all energy off me. She was mean. She always made me feel bad. Now I can live my life in peace. My secret is (was) that i don't mourn my mothers death a bit.
I have fallen in love, while being able to completely lie to everyone, saying I never will. so this is fun, and I don't know what to do now. This guy is my friend, but I'm at a place in my life where I can't really date and it would go nowhere if I did confess and we felt the same way. He has dropped many hints, but I can't stop gaslighting myself. any advise?
Seems that the feelings are mutual. Perhaps your friend's love can help you to get out of that place where you can't date.
It's difficult to give meaningful advice because you didn't explain why "it would go nowhere" or what you are afraid would happen if you admitted your feelings. But if this friend is dropping hints, then after telling him your feelings, I expect together you can figure out something that would work.
I genuinely hate my siblings. I wish they'd never been born and I won't grieve if those d*cks finally die.
I like Jared Leto’s Joker in the original Suicide Squad. It was a very different take on the character and most people hate it.
Well...here we go. For around a year or two now (since quarentine started) My mental health has been really bad. Right now I despretly need help but I can't talk to anyone. I am scucidal and swlf harms.
A lot of times (like now) I hate myself so much that I wish I was dead.
aww! im sure there are people who love you, and dont want you to die. and anyone who DOES is a d*** head and should go sit on a jelly fish.
I’m still in love with my ex, even after almost 9 years. He said he still thinks about me; though we now live in different continents. I hate being so addicted to this man that’s clearly a debilitating choice. Also, I’m now expecting a child with my current partner, though I can’t say I’m in love with him
I don't think my best friend has been very supportive lately. From bad advice to judging my life choices. I have no one else to turn to.
I'm obsessed with British "poverty-porn" shows. Skint has to be my favourite. Wish there were more episodes on youtube of Benefits Britain.
I hate spending time with one of my best friends. We used to be really close but when she changed school we lost touch. Now whenever we get together i feel awkward and just want to go home. On the other hand I can’t bare to tell her because of our friendship when we were younger.
People are not necessarily in our lives for a long time, sometimes it could be just for a day, or a season, which is three months. Tell her you love her, but it is good-bye. Don't beat yourself up over this.
I’m 14 and have been reading erotica short stories. I don’t like keeping secrets from my parents so this is hard.
You're 14. You're learning, figuring your body and your sexuality out. It's all right, just make sure to use Incognito mode. (P.S., when I was 14, I used Barbies in lewd ways XD)
This is a very, very normal part of growing up. Further, sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a very healthy, normal part of life and you're not doing anything wrong by starting to explore.
Being interested is both normal and natural. Otherwise there wouldn't be any people. Actions can sometimes have negative consequences, but reading helps you understand yourself.
I'm Pansexual and Genderfluid and I can't come out to anyone in my family because they're all homophobic.
Same. My parents know, but my grandparents would HATE me if they ever found out.
I feel really guilty about this but I really want something wrong with me. Like for example a mental illness or something. I think it’s because I want attention but I’m not sure. I always feel absolutely terrible about this and feel really bad for the people who have to suffer through something like this.
Well then. I don't know what to say about this other than, count your lucky stars. I've fought depression and addiction my entire life and it is absolutely living hell. If your life is so good that you're actually wishing for something bad, then maybe you need a therapist as much as I do.
When I went through that it was because I was being emotionally/psychologically abused by my narcissistic mother so bad that she had me convinced I was unloveable and undeserving of her attention to the point I just wish I had a serious illness so that SOMEone would pay attention to me and think I was worthy of their time. If someone in your life is screwing with you like that, get as far away from them as possible and don't look back.
I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
I totally feel you. I had bad covid in June and lots of other details have just made this a bad year. It is important to know that change and transition happens constantly, and things will get better. It will feel hard for a while but you are not alone and if you feel like you are alone just reach out.
I met my soul mate and did not marry her. I still have an empty void where she used to filled it with sunshine and love. We are married to other people, we still have a thread that binds us and a love that only her and i will ever understand.
I don't want to be with my fiance anymore. but I'm too scared to leave. he's a narsasist..
Leave before you get married. If he's narcissistic before you're married your marriage will be absolutely terrible! Listen to your heart and your gut. You say you're scared to leave? You will be even more scared to be married to him later.
How much is bored panda being paid for our secrets?
You don’t think that bored panda isn’t paid for all those photos or comments that are posted on other main stream media? What do you think if a really good team of psychologist would come up with after reviewing all of your posts.
Load More Replies...I love watching romantic drama movies like "You got mail" and "Notting Hill". /Straight guy
I am well educated (masters) middle age women and love chick flicks also
I have a crush on some guy I met on Xbox, he asked me to be his girlfriend but I said no (if I could go back in time I would have said yes 🥲)
I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
Having been depressed myself in an earlier time in my life, I know how hopeless it feels, and I know well-intentioned advice usually is unconvincing. The best idea I can offer is, please consider volunteering at an organization that helps other people. Volunteering not only gets you out of the house and meeting people, you also will make a difference. That feels good. Don't give up if you try volunteering somewhere that doesn't feel right; switch to somewhere else until you find a good fit.
I had a really bad case of Covid in March. In July my relationship of 10 years fell apart. Just few days before that I moved to another city for a massive job change. Not one of my friends called to check on me or asked me anything about any of these big, scary, life-changing moments. I spent my entire life with wrong "friends". I'm now 31, no friends, no partner, in a big strange city and I can't stop thinking about killing myself.
Take a deep breath. You might not know it / or even believe it, , but things will get better. Take small steps- moves are huge things, especially after such huge tumultuous life events such as sickness and breakups. Seek professional help, join a club or group that does something you are interested in. Grow something, because you are SO worth it. You may not know me, but I send you love ❤️ and I know you can do it.
hey, listen. I konw this sounds really mean and cold but you should see a therapist. They can help you with how your feeling, and maybe you can make friends with someone!
it is ok and i understand that i cant understand but know that we are here. we are here for you and there is some bright spots in life however little they may be
I am literally allergic to boys
im not lying, I get very very sick around them, here are the symptoms: * dizzy * headache * stomach ache
my grandma is really homophobic and as a Pan-poly-demiboy i am really scared to tell her because of what happened last time
You don't owe your grandmother an explanation for who you are. Or anyone else, for that matter. Be yourself, love yourself and tell everyone else to get f****d if they don't like it.
I hate my oldest step daughter. She doesn't have a generous cell in her body and I'm amazed at her intentional ignorance in basic life skills. She is toxic. Her dad thinks she farts rainbows. I day dream that if anything happens to him I can send her back to her mother (who can't stand her either).
I hate my boyfriends' kid. He is selfish, bragging kid who takes advantage on others (he is tall for his age) but whines and maybe even cries when a ball hits him and is a sore loser. He is such a crybaby and dramaqueen. The more he grows up, the less I like him as a person he is becaming.
I’m bi and gender fluid and not out to my family (AMAB). Also, I have a bf they don’t know about
I get the intention, but defining the internet as "a safe space" seems..... overly optimistic at best....
Ok yeah but i kinda just meant you're kinda anonymous so..
Load More Replies...After a career in mil intel my nephew still reguarly asks me....... so what secrets do you know? and most of mine are like nearly a generation old..... but hey ho....... I gave my word......... so he gets jack s**t told to hiim.
It sounds trite but if someone tells me something and says something like 'this stays between me and you'...... it does from my end. It's their end I can't guarantee, not mine. I remember my cousin getting pregnant and when her mum found out she was all 'ooooh...... so i'm the first to know?' .......... no mum....... GP09 guessed it a month ago. so why did he say nothing? Cause.......... he said he wouldn't, tbh i'm pretty proud of my record as far as secrets go.......... i've kept all my own government's i've been told and a few of the US's (I was twice attached to their units (waves to the US vets) and in Bos cause i was attached to them i got cleared for going in their NIC because i was a known entity. The real bottom line though is if someone tellls me something is between me and them....... i suspect them if it ever gets out.... it certainly didn't come from me.
Load More Replies...I get the intention, but defining the internet as "a safe space" seems..... overly optimistic at best....
Ok yeah but i kinda just meant you're kinda anonymous so..
Load More Replies...After a career in mil intel my nephew still reguarly asks me....... so what secrets do you know? and most of mine are like nearly a generation old..... but hey ho....... I gave my word......... so he gets jack s**t told to hiim.
It sounds trite but if someone tells me something and says something like 'this stays between me and you'...... it does from my end. It's their end I can't guarantee, not mine. I remember my cousin getting pregnant and when her mum found out she was all 'ooooh...... so i'm the first to know?' .......... no mum....... GP09 guessed it a month ago. so why did he say nothing? Cause.......... he said he wouldn't, tbh i'm pretty proud of my record as far as secrets go.......... i've kept all my own government's i've been told and a few of the US's (I was twice attached to their units (waves to the US vets) and in Bos cause i was attached to them i got cleared for going in their NIC because i was a known entity. The real bottom line though is if someone tellls me something is between me and them....... i suspect them if it ever gets out.... it certainly didn't come from me.
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