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Hey Pandas, let’s try a new kind of “Ask Pandas”! I want everyone here to post a problem, then people in the comments can provide solutions! This will be like a Bored Panda advice column. I hope we can make this work!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I am not unhappy about going into my eighth decade, because I am healthy and still take care of my home and hearth. However, I am a wee bit distressed that my body does not always obey my orders as it once did. Arms, hands, back, brain have all developed intermittent weakness and lack of civility. However, I still adhere to the old credo "the more you do, the more you can do". Also love "never walk slow when you can walk fast".
Final score:
29points
BananaAnna (Submission author) 5 years ago
No can do. Too busy planning next year's garden.
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Damon Gates 5 years ago
You might want to discuss this with a sports medicine physician (ideally one with a geriatric focus, if there is such a thing). In the meantime, keep a journal of when these weakness and incivilities occur. What were you doing, and for how long? Your reply about gardening makes me wonder if you might be overdoing it and need to pace yourself differently.
Csilla Kaszas 5 years ago
Your attitude is admirable! Maybe get one of those medical alarm devices, just to stay safe.
Christina Schulte 5 years ago
Be comfortable with your age, and any changes that might come with it. Keep up your good health, but also be kind to yourself. Look at all ot took to get where you are today. And you are awesome.
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
Mine doesn't either and it's a lot younger... no consolation I know. Kudos for the positive attitude and at least your mind is still sharp.
Jayden Penzien 5 years ago
I don't understand. You are healthy. Are you a girl? If so, I am too. Eighth grade is puberty haven. Maybe that is your problem.
RELATED:
#2
Why is there so much people who discriminate others?
Final score:
20points
Laura Be 5 years ago
It´s not the way life is. It´s the way our society works, where capitalism, colonialism, patriarchy, ableism, etc. builds hyerarchies to sustain its structure. We are not born equal. So discrimination isn´t just about a bunch of bad people, but how society raises us to think we are different valued and support an unequal structure.
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I love izuku midoriya 5 years ago
I'm sorry people are just assholes like that they think they are better than others
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
I have an even more important question below, if you can answer it, I would be really grateful. Thanks
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
it's a really big problem for me
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Maggie Fariss 5 years ago
I do believe there is a lot of evidence that human beings are programmed from the start with the desire to make an "us" and a "them". It is certainly easiest when you can pick out an obvious attribute of people to establish an us vs them. I started life as a "them" and so have spent a lot of time thinking about this.
Zophra 5 years ago
I agree. I think I read somewhere its an evolutionary tactic to provide/care for/ promote your "in group" to the exclusion of others in the whole survival of the fittest.
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Sara Radtke 5 years ago
Sadly it is taught in youth, and continues through life. Even is they claim to not discriminate.
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
oh, thanks for the info
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あんぱんまん 5 years ago
people just have different reasons for discriminating... some are insecure, some just plain hate them, and some dont knw the real truth... all that matters is tht the person getting discriminated doesnt take it to heart and try explaining it to them... or just ignore it...
Pogy Nevis 5 years ago
Those people don't want to you to see the bad thing about them, they want everybody to see the bad things about you
Christina Schulte 5 years ago
Hurt people hurt others. It is derived from unhappiness, fear....
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
It's their own lack of self-esteem, nothing to do with those who they discriminate against. If those discriminated against could just realize that then the discrimnation could not reach them.
#3
My brother has been taking 2 hour long naps everyday after finishing homework, then going to bed early and sleeping the entire time. My mom took him to get a blood test after she learned this. Why did she do this? Should I be concerned?
Final score:
16points
Hazel Waring 5 years ago
Not at all - it is highly unlikely to be anything serious & that can't be easily addressed. Very occasionally, hormone imbalances whilst growing up and hitting puberty can cause fatigue; most likely it may be anaemia (shortage of iron). If he's got blood tests and is being seen by a GP, he's in safe hands! Perhaps chat to him to see if anything is causing anxiety/exhaustion at school?
Csilla Kaszas 5 years ago
I had a year in high school when I slept 10+ hours a day, due to some emotionally draining situation - I wish my parents cared enough to investigate if I had any health issues (physical or mental). Your mother took your brother to the doctor, because she wants to be sure he's okay. She is the parent, that's her job. You shouldn't be concerned per se, just be sure to cultivate a loving sibling-relationship with your brother and be there if and when he needs you.
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
Also, if he's a teen they genuinely need more sleep - "Teens are at an important stage of their growth and development. Because of this, they need more sleep than adults. The average teen needs about nine hours of sleep each night to feel alert and well rested". Hence the massively long lie-ins I always needed! 😁
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
I had a friend who was once like this and she couldn't work it out. she went to to the docs and it turned out that she was lacking iron. She was given vitamins tablets.
Steve Wilson 5 years ago
Back in college my roommates became concerned when I slept about 20 hrs/day. Went to campus health, took a blood test & found out I had a bad case of mono.
Sara Radtke 5 years ago
I wouldn't worry. probably something as simple as lack of vitamin B12, iron or calcium. little things like that will cause major exhaustion... or even simpler, he's growing. As tweens and teens, your body is doing an awful amount of work that you have no idea is happening. Like a woman who is pregnant and growing a baby, growing up is also exhausting. Best of luck for your brother, I hope all is well.
Melissa Boatman Linebaugh 5 years ago
As a mother of two teens, I can assure you he is just growing! And your mom is just doing her job making sure all is a-ok. You don’t need to worry. And let your mom know you are concerned so she can help you.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
It's always a good idea to check things like iron and thyroid in cases like this just to be safe (good mom!) and they're pretty easily treatable. But also he might just be more tired than usual because of school, exams, stress, a growth spurt, or something like that. Also some people just need more or less sleep than average:)
brattysub21 5 years ago
To be honest I do this a lot as well. It could be due to stress or an emotional and educational overload. But it’s most likely him growing up and his body is getting ready for some type of change like a growth spurt or gaining muscle or something of the sort.
#4
hey pandas, i need some help. how do i get rid of a toxic friend? i am too nice to say goodbye but my real friends tell me that she is toxic and i should stop being her friend. what should i do??
Final score:
15points
BoredPanda is awesome 5 years ago
I would start to distance myself, avoid her and minimize the interactions until she is not my friend anymore
Billy The Kid 5 years ago (edited)
Do you see her as toxic or from what your friends tell you?
Mohammad Ammar 5 years ago (edited)
Be straightforward and tell her she's toxic.im talking from experience. You'll be suprised how many people haven't been told they're toxic. She'll then either cut it off with you herself or try to improve. If she continues to be a pain you have a complete right to block her off with no questions asked.Do not cut people off before confronting them!!( unless u think it'll get violent) It's not the right thing to do and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. Words can't describe the satisfaction one receives from being honest and dealing with problems head on.
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
I had friends do that to me - made me question a perfectly good friendship and I regret it but I was lacking in confidence and so unsure of myself and they lied to me. More recently I had to walk away from a friend who was genuinely toxic. She would regularly put me down or dismiss me and do it in ways that were only about making her feel better. I just stopped arranging to see her. I'll be nice if I bump into her but that's that. YOU need to be sure though.
Jacqueline Arana 5 years ago
What makes her toxic? Have you talked to her about it? Do you feel okay with creeping out of someone's life without giving them a chance to make amends? If you really want to stop talking to them you can ghost them, reject interaction while staying cordial, or talk to them about ending the friendship.
あんぱんまん 5 years ago
i would try to calm them down and try to help her get better... id first start by telling her what she is doing wrong in gentle way
maia martin 5 years ago
hi so i am also too nice to cut people off and had a friend like this and we were on and off for a while but in the end being friends with them was really bad for me. i made a list of bad things that person had done to me and every time they tried to reconnect i would read the list first. of course you should only do this if some of the things that were done were truly unforgivable.
I Like Jelly 5 years ago
I would tell it to her face. If she knows you think she's toxic, she'll either cut it out or not be your friend anymore.
#5
How do I tell my family that I don’t feel comfortable around men and would prefer a female-female relationship?
Final score:
15points
Pheebs 5 years ago
Depends on your family. They somewhat chill sorts? Have they made negative comments about same sex relationships? They the type to sit down and talk about things? Think about how they’ve approached other big discussions and go from there. Maybe start with someone you suspect will be an ally. Once they’re on your side, they can be a source of support as you approach the rest of your fam. And stand your ground if things go south. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel.
Viviane 5 years ago
Having an ally -- several if you can -- is really helpful. I don't know how old you are or if you're financially dependent on your family. Check if there are LGBT+ groups (including youth groups), gay-straight alliances, and/or a group like PFLAG in your area. (PFLAG ="Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays") in your area or online.
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Dániel Prim 5 years ago
Just go out with her, and when they get suspicious and ask, say yes, and move on, like nothing happened. It's your life, not theirs. Don't let your self make you uncomfortable. You did nothing wrong.
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago (edited)
First ask if they support lgbt but do it in a sneaky way, then depending on what they say if they don’t support then you should either try to change their opinion or just tell friends instead, if they say yes then either give them hints or just come out!(btw it’s fun to come out to in weird ways but you don’t have to)
VANILLA (Submission author) 5 years ago
That sounds like fun! Thank you everyone you all have helped me so much
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Bridget Price 5 years ago
I had the same problem a week or two ago and I was so scared what they would think. One day I had a doctors appointment and my mom was in the room with me the whole time and the doctor asked "do you prefer boys or girls" in that moment I knew it was time and I said both and I saw my mom smile. Its really scary because you never know how they will react but they are supportive and the right time will come. If I hadn't gone to the doctors appointment it would have been months- maybe years before I came out. You will eventually find a time when it feels right. I recommend if you decide to come out soon then dont come out to your entire family- only come out to your mom or dad or both because it takes a lot of the stress off. have a nice day and good luck :)
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Go read Dan Savage! He has a lot of great advice about coming out to your family and how to keep yourself safe
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Others touched on the issue, but I'll make it direct. Do a careful assessment and ask yourself "Is it safe?" Meaning, what is the potential of this revelation putting you at risk for harm? If you live independently, go for it - if they disown you, good riddance. If you are dependent on your family for ANY reason, DO NOT MAKE THIS REVELATION UNTIL YOU HAVE AN IRONCLAD ESCAPE PLAN. Sad to say in 2020, but your life may depend on it.
Tammy Rawdon 5 years ago
If, when you were a child, there was all that "Eww! Boys are gross!" Or "Good girls don't 'play' with boys." & segregation by sex in school, etc... Tell them it's how you were raised by society. Boys are taught to play with G.I. Joe, not Barbie...then grow up wanting to "play" with other boys. Surprise--Surprise--Surprise!!! (Yes, that's a Gomer Pyle impression.)
VANILLA (Submission author) 5 years ago
Haha my dad always had Gomer Pyle on
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Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago
If you are a minor and have no other options for a place to live, it might be better to wait until you're ready to move out - either when you're eighteen or when you find a trustworthy adult who can provide shelter. Being homeless is not fun. Living in a tense or hostile home is not fun. You will have your entire adult life to figure out and pursue your best life - and work things out with your family.
Alex Garcia 5 years ago
It sounds like in the comments you're still in middle school. If you're thinking of a romantic relationship, NO ONE should be pressuring you into doing any kind of relationship you're not comfortable with. Don't be pressured to date and frankly if guys don't interest you that is perfectly normal for someone who is in middle school. I wasn't really crushing on anyone until a Sophomore in high school and even then I wasn't aloud to date. As an adult in her mid 20s, I'm only now really looking into a romantic relationship. Don't be pressured either to follow a "well do I like girls?" thoughts either. It's pressure on both sides and frankly at your age you don't need it. Be friends with people, meet different kinds of people, and don't be pressured to being with people you don't feel comfortable with.
#6
I can never do anything right. Everything results in self-blame. I feel as if everything would be better if I was gone. I feel like I'm suffocating. I need help but I don't know how to ask. Does needing help make you weak? How do I stop feeling like a burden to everyone around me?
Final score:
14points
Viviane 5 years ago
Needing help does not make you weak. Admitting you need help makes you smart. First off, is there a school counselor that you can talk to? If one of them doesn't work out, try another. My brother had a counselor who was wonderful, I had one who was crappy.
Viviane 5 years ago
The self-blame is definitely a symptom of something. I used to do a lot of that, which was in part because of anxiety and depression and in part because of my childhood. I strongly recommend you get help. Can you talk to your parents? Would they be willing to help you get into therapy? If not, at least talk to a good school counselor or the school nurse or your family doctor. My doctor recommended a good therapist and he turned out to be amazingly good.
Load More Replies... Damon Gates 5 years ago
Start by going to one of the resources others have called out and say, "I need help and I don't know what to ask for and I'm scared." They will NOT look at you like you're weak or that you grew an extra head, or whatever. They will look you in the eye and sincerely say, "Tell me about it". Also, as I couldn't figure out how to respond to your "Ask Panda" (maybe I should ask for help!), my favorite cake is Devil's Food with an intense orange glaze or layered with orange sherbet. Conversely, I despise Angel Food cake.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Needing help does not make you weak! Trust me on this, I suffered from depression in silence for 15 years before I got help, and I want to kick myself, I wish I did it so much sooner. Please find someone you can talk to – a family member, or if that isn't an option, a counselor at school, or maybe search on Google for a helpline that you can call (the are lots these days), or even an app that you can use on your phone. Most importantly, please PLEASE believe me if I tell you that it does get better. I know it doesn't feel like that right now. But it does. And one day you'll look back and you'll be so glad that you pushed through to get to better and happier times. Sending you lots of love ❤
Melissa Boatman Linebaugh 5 years ago
If needing help made us weak, there would not be a single human left on this planet. Needing people makes us strong. Asking for help makes us stronger. You are NOT a burden for wanting and needing help. You are human and you are loved.
François Carré 5 years ago
I've been there. Turned out nobody noticed because I'm a quiet guy and I was doing pretty well at school and stuff, so that I was actually the only one judging myself as a failure and a burden to others. Don't do that, express yourself. People around you love you but maybe they don't think you need them to tell you. They'll be happy to prove it by helping you if you only dare to ask them. And they certainly won't be as judgemental as you are to yourself. Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you wiser and you'll be amazed at the amount of support you'll get if you turn to reliable people. In fact, if you've been struggling like this for a while and are still standing, I think you're very strong. But you don't need to suffer in silence. And also, it's OK to feel weak sometimes. Your future strength will come from these times of weakness you'll experience. There's no such thing as adamant strength you'd be given at the start and you must not lose...
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Sounds like depression. Reach out to somebody. If there is no-one in your community, try the Samaritans or any similar organization
Carrie Holste 5 years ago
Remember that your family and friends love you! You're not a burden. They worry about you. And no, life would not be better if you were gone. They would rather have you and your problems than to live life without you! The easiest first step is to talk to your family doctor. They may be able to prescribe medication or suggest a good counselor. Good luck to you!
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Remember this. You matter. You are awesome. Something you do by being alive will make the difference in someone else's life.
Storm Anne 5 years ago
NONONONONONONONONONO NEEDING HELP DOES NOT MAKE YOU WEAK AND UR NOT TOXIC SO YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN!! CAN U TALK TO A SIBLING OR SOMEBODY U KNOW?
#7
Ok so if anyone who is struggling rn reads this, try Kooth it's a website where you can anonymously have 1-1 discussions with councillors and you can also talk to children and teens your own age about your problems that they might have too. No, I'm not posting this to get fame coz i work there. I do not work for them. I'm only posting this coz they have helped me out soo much recently and I thought maybe they can help u too. I'm also here for u if u need to talk to someone, you are not alone. Stay safe xxx
Final score:
12points
#8
I am currently out of the closet as lesbian, to exactly three people. I have this friend, like my best friend, who I came out to, but it went south, fast. She ended up not liking that about me, and is distancing herself from me, and like downplaying my best qualities because I am attracted to girls, and she told a lot of other people about it, and I live in this really religious, small community. She even told my friend who told their bus. Now some other friends of mine have stopped talking to me. What do I do? Please help!
Final score:
9points
Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago
When we change, our friends don't always stick around. In this case, you were already a lesbian, but you changed in your friends' eyes. I lost friends when I got clean/sober. I lost other friends when I became a parent. I lost more friends when I became a Christian. All of those lost friendships were replaced by better ones. Look or the new ones.
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago (edited)
THOSE FRIENDS ARE NOT REAL FRIENDS!!! TRUST ME GURL DONT TRY TO STAY WITH HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE IT DOESNT END PRETTY!!! I SAY FIND SOME OTHER LGBT PEEPS AND HAVE THE START OF A LGBT FRIENDS GROUP!!!!!!🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Jane Doe 5 years ago
Real and true friends wouldn’t have outed you for you. Real and true friends care not for your sexual preferences. Real and true friend can see part that, and see how you have honor, they stole your happiness, and there is no honor among thieve. Our journeys are our own, and along the way we will have experiences and meet people, some stay, some go, but they only can hurt us if we truly allow it. We cannot decide what others think or feel, that’s for them to square. Walk your path with your head held high.
maria schneider 5 years ago
I agree. But be careful with the word "true friend"! This ignores our fallability... we all are not perfect at all 😀
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I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago
That's so mean!! Maybe try to talk to her, and if that doesn't work, try making new friends. And if you want to talk I am here.
Emily Connor (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you for the advice! What is she gets more mean or something? Do i completely ignore her? She is in A LOT of my friend groups, and I don't want to lose them too
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Sophia Graubart 5 years ago
If they left you because of that they weren't good friends. I know it's hard, but just think about it this way: they are probably toxic or bad in some way if they don't accept you for who you are, so be glad they couldn't be like that anymore
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm so sorry that this happened to you with someone you thought was your best friend 🙁 Unfortunately as a teen it happens sometimes that you think someone is a friend until they prove that they aren't – that's how you better learn to know who to trust. Do you have friends or family members who are supportive? I hope you do! Now is the time to brace yourself, be brave and be strong – if people are mean to you or tease you, they are in the wrong, because what kind of person judges if they want to be friends with you or not based on your sexual orientation? Remember you have nothing to be ashamed of girl! When someone teases you or is rude to you, look them straight in the eye and say "Yes I am a lesbian, why do you have a problem with that?" If you don't react badly, they're going to stop finding it funny and get bored real quick. Just stick with the people who support you. I wish you the very best of luck and happiness! ❤
Melissa Boatman Linebaugh 5 years ago
Keep true to yourself. You will experience grief at these losses, but you are also free now to meet people who will love you for who you are. You are brave and you got this. Their loss.
¯_(ツ)_/¯ 5 years ago
flip them off because they are all mother f*****s (no offense if you seem that was offensive)
#9
I have to hide who I am in my own house. Mostly my parents. My sister will use my correct name and pronouns but my brother doesn't understand my parent pretend i'm not gay. I'm also a cosplayer-ish and my parent think it weird and don't talk about it much. I can't share my opinions with them because I know they won't understand. I go to therapy but I want your opinions on what to do. Please help me, I hurts to only be half of myself.
Final score:
8points
Viviane 5 years ago
I'm glad you have a supportive sister and a therapist. Can your sister help you talk to your brother and your parents? Maybe the two of you can start with your brother. Perhaps tell him that you don't expect him to understand it, but he should at least try to use your correct name and pronouns. People change names for all kinds of reasons, so he'll have to get used to that throughout his life. For your parents, maybe you can contact PFLAG for help - https://pflag.org/ Maybe someone with a LGBT+ child could talk to them.
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago
I had the same situation but I don’t think I can help, how I had my parents start using the correct name and pronouns was that it had made me depressed and when I told them I wanted to kill myself and I told them why they tried to improve for me(but all families are different)
¯_(ツ)_/¯ 5 years ago
if you want to really want your parents and other people in your family to use the pronouns that you like or if you have a different name and they call you by your original name, flat out ignore them. that is not your name or your pronouns. they shouldn't disrespect your wishes so you ignore them. (ik off topic but that is how i would do it lol)
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Dan Savage. Read about him and his books. Also look for his ot gets better videos on you tube
Storm Anne 5 years ago
dont be half of yourself. if your parents and brother dont like it WHO CARES!!! let yourself be free and dont try to hide yourself.
#10
I push down my feelings and barely cry. When I do it's by myself and I try to be as quiet as I can. I don't know why because I want to get help, I want to be able to get better but I don't want people to worry about me. It's a never ending cycle and I'm really tiered of it. I don't know what to do.
Final score:
8points
Viviane 5 years ago
You sound conflicted about asking for emotional support. I agree with Morgan Kerr's suggestion to open up to family and friends. Some people do like helping others -- I helped a friend who was going through a terrible time and I'm glad I was there for her. The fact that you're fed up, motivate to get better, and asking for help are good signs. That can encourage other people to help you.
Morgan Kerr 5 years ago
I dealt with similar things a few years back, everyone is different, so I don't know if this would help you, but what helped me was finding hobbies I enjoyed (reading and writting was huge one, it allowed my imagination to open, it also gave me characters who I could relate to, or ones that I could feel something about, and then I applied it to real life), or opening up to close family members and friends about it.
• Lemønchu • 5 years ago
Maybe writing your feelings down will help, to just get it off your chest, I find it works
#11
Um hi, pandas I have a Friend that is apart of a 3 friend group: me her and my other friend. She frequently gets snappy and annoyed at me for silly reasons. Should I cut ties or be bffs with her and forgive her?? And also Do you know how to get over a fear of flying animals cuz I am scared of all flying animals like bees and wasps and including butterflies
Final score:
7points
BoredPanda is awesome 5 years ago
For the first one, if she get really angry with you a lot of times, then you should cut ties
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
Speak to her and ask her why she is getting snappy. Maybe she has problems and don't know how to deal with it. Its what I call being a hitting stick. As for flying animals hmmm avoid them.
Brandy Grote 5 years ago
With the flying things - is it all bugs? They are random, the way they fly, and it can be freaky. Try to ignore them, they aren't "coming after you". With bees, just hold very still and don't make quick motions. If you slap at them, they will think THEY are being attacked! Don't wear yellow, they seem to be attracted to it. With wasps, the best bet is to just immediately move away from them. Don't run, just walk away. If you notice a nest, tell someone who can call an exterminator to take it away. If you notice a LOT of bees or wasps, go inside to avoid the swarm. Just try to ignore them. Butterflies are pretty and fun to watch, but I agree, I don't need to be near them! Did you know the bees you see are 99% female, and they are the workers finding food? And bees pollinate most of our food like avocados and almonds and fruits? Wasps eat dead things, so they have a purpose too, maybe that is why they are so mad? Lol.
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Everyone gave great advice about the friend. As for the flying insects and animals. Pick one and find something beautiful about it to appreciate. I'm scared of wasps but my Mom would eat her ham sandwich on her patio and whenever she did she'd set set a piece of ham on the edge of her plate and the same wasp would land and eat it. For my Mom wasps were her friends.
Avery Jones 5 years ago
For the second one, your best bet is probably exposing yourself more to the things you are afraid of. The more you see that your fear is irrational, the easier things should get. I have a completely irrational fear of swimming somewhere that there might be fish but I’m getting over it by swimming in more lakes and stuff.
MaeRose 5 years ago
I think you should just talk to her and tell her how you feel. Some people get so absorbed in themselves that they fail to see how much their actions affect others(been there before). If she's still rude and snappy after or even during the conversation, just straight up ask her why. Do not beat around the bush and then you have to decide if the friendship is worth the emotional baggage. You shouldn't stay bff's with people who make you feel like s**t. Trust me.
Storm Anne 5 years ago
you should cut ties. also i think it just a phobia, its normal and everybody has one
Donkey boi 5 years ago
Not too long ago I heard someone say 'an irrational fear is just that, irrational. Until you realise that, there is no cure. A rational fear is your brain trying to keep you alive, so it's better to embrace it'. I would quietly ask your friend, next time you're alone, 'Are you ok?' If she says she is, follow up with, 'Are you sure, only you've been really snappy with me lately and I was wondering if something was going on with you?' It's a subtle way to get them to look at themselves and realise their behaviour has been a problem. Sometimes it even gets them to open up because they may be going through something you don't know about. Sadly, there is always a chance they could just say that they find you annoying and don't like you very much. At which point you can happily cut ties knowing they are not a friend.
#12
I'm really confused about my sexual orientation but I have no way of figuring it out that I would be comfortable with. I'm just really not sure who I like or anything like that. Please pandas, how did you know you were bi/gay/lesbian?
Final score:
7points
Kateryna 5 years ago
Don't try to put a tag on yourself yet. You don't have to classify yourself as "something". Just go with the flow, and when you love someone, you will figure it all out.
_ 5 years ago
I agree, besides whose business is your sexuality? Don't let someone force you to choose if you don't feel comfortable wearing a title just then. "I prefer not to answer" is an answer.
Load More Replies... Jane Doe 5 years ago
I knew I was a non sexually oriented person my entire life. I acted out the role of a heterosexual for far to long. I wouldn’t worry too much, it’s only words, used to define people and put them in neat little boxes. You are who you are, sexual relationships of any kind are a series of moments, not the sum of it.
MiaOokami 5 years ago
So, if I understand correctly, your having trouble with your sexuality because your not sure who you're attracted to? Are you attracted to all genders? That would make you pansexual. Or, if the problem is that you aren't attracted to anyone, you might be on the aromantic asexual spectrum.
Melissa Boatman Linebaugh 5 years ago
Decide WHAT kind of person you like to be with and don’t worry about labels. Seek out supportive, fun, and healthy relationships...boy or girl. My 11 year old son has told me he thinks he is bisexual, I just told him that it means he has more wonderful people to choose from when he gets older and is ready for a relationship. Now, he is 11 and he may change his mind, or he may not, and that is ok. And it’s ok for you, too.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm upvoting you because you sound like such a good mom 😊❤
Load More Replies... Sophia Graubart 5 years ago
whatever, as long as you dont feel bad/disrespected when people call you a certian pronoun, then you don'thave to come up with a name for yourself. if you aren't comfortable, just say "i prefer ___, not ____"
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago
It took a lot of thinking and some are you gay quizzes untill I realized that if I’m thinking this I am and I just stopped denying everything and look at me now! A loud, proud transgender gay boy
marlene 5 years ago
pls don't feel pressured to put a label !! when i figured out i was bi i saw that i was completely fine with dating girls and liked them more than just platonically (aka romantically). take your time, these things are part of your identity. go over the idea of dating and liking those of your opposite gender and just think abt it. again, u do not need a label !! date and like whoever u want and if ppl don't approve of it it's none of their business :] good luck <3
Storm Anne 5 years ago
u know if you could like anyone (boys and girls) you might be pan. but at the same time you should just go with the flow and when you love someone, you will figure it all out!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Im honestly confused too. like i think that girls are pretty and stuff but i would never in a million years think i was lesbian or even bi. But for some reason im starting to reconsider that even though it sounds silly in my head. I honestly don't even want to be, and i dont even know if its real or not but idk, im confused. i even have a boyfirend whom i have no desire to break up with
#13
My problem is that I can not post anything in the comments. Whenever I try to, it just says "In order to comment your account must be approved by BoredPanda staff."
Final score:
7points
Brandy Grote 5 years ago
See if you need an email sent to activate your account, or if you ever got one. Then follow the activation link instructions.
Chris Jones 5 years ago (edited)
They have an account - says community member on their profile. Has been for about a month so something is odd!
Load More Replies... #14
Here is another big problem. I really, really, really love animals. For like when I was younger, I started to get depressed because I didn't have a pet. I used to visit my cousin's dog like every 2 weeks and if we didn't go, I would start to cry and feel so lonely and depressed. I would feel way more anger if a dog got abused than if an adult died. I have a dog now, Loki who is the best but why do I love animals so much?
Final score:
7points
Brandy Grote 5 years ago
Some people find it easier to bond strongly to animals, especially if the people around them aren't nice. There is NOTHING wrong with loving animals. It shows you have empathy and a loving heart. People can take care of themselves, but animals are innocent and need human help to survive. Try to learn about animals, training and health care. See about donating time to a shelter or rescue. You will find a human to love. The lessons you learn from your animal friends can help you be a good person.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I mean I maybe chuckled a little bit for a moment because this sounds a lot like both my daughter and me – we cry 1000x more when a pet dies than we did when like my grandparents died (that sounds horrible, I swear we are not horrible people). Tbh I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'll happily admit thay I like Amy animal now than 99% of people. Animals are just different, and in many ways infinitely better than us human asshats. They live unconditionally, they don't judge, they don't discriminate, there's no reason not to love them 🤷🏻♀️
Rebecca O’Donnell 5 years ago
I prefer the company of my dogs over most humans. They require hardly any effort on my part to be happy, even the senior and special need dogs. For me, humans can be draining with what they need to feel completed. Going by the fact you used the word depression twice I think you answered your own question. Animals certainly do help with loneliness and depression but it wouldn’t hurt to go to therapy of some kind to find some answers. I hope this helped.
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
it did help, thanks
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Harløw-Banditø 5 years ago
I’m the same way. It’s probably because you see animals for what they are: living things, with hopes and dreams and feelings and personalities, just like humans. Humans are animals too, and once you realize that you start to understand the earth a lot more.
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
I've been trying to get an answer but I couldn't find one. Please help me out, thanks
BoredPanda is awesome (Submission author) 5 years ago
I feel a really strong bond with animals and without them I feel really, really, really depressed
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Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Animals are just so perfect. I used to feel kinda meh- and lead a stressed life- but then I got a puppy and I feel like a part of me is complete. I also used to be a horrible NOT MORNING PERSON. Character change: I wake up happy and energetic everyday at 5:00 am to go on a 2 mile run with Sparrow, my dog.
Donkey boi 5 years ago
I was actually really worried that I submitted this question without realising! No pets at our house, when I grew up and moved out, I couldn't stop. I now have 11 miniature donkeys, 20 goats, 4 dogs, a tortoise, and way too many poultry and fowl. When you try to express what it's actually like, people just don't get it! I couldn't work at a vets because it would break my heart. I couldn't imagine having to give someone that kind of bad news. But, I could easily work in a hospital and tell someone that their mother/father/daughter/etc had died, without a problem. I'm not convinced there is a reason. I had average upbringing with a loving family.
#15
Everything/everyone good in my life (which isn't much) gets completely ruined by my brain. I have such negative thoughts about everything, and I get exponentially more negative thoughts when I actively try to think of something positive. I tried medication for years, and it seemed to make things worse, because my life seems to be a lot better now that I'm not taking them. (If what I'm saying sounds bad now, trust me, it was a lot worse) I also tried therapy for years, didn't work. I am seeing a new therapist, I am expecting things will go well until this one breaks my trust, just like all the others. Anyway, not sure how to make things better for myself. Advice is appreciated.
Final score:
6points
YoChicken 5 years ago
ever night, list off things that you are thankful for. compare yourself to a person that does not have a computer or does not have the facilities you have. simple things like, i got food today.
MaeRose 5 years ago
This is the best advice I've seen on here. Count your blessings, every single tiny blessings that might seem insignificant to you. Also, the people you surround yourself with might affect you. You just have to ask yourself: Are these people who encourage me when I want to give up or when things go wrong? Do they actively support me when i need help? Do I left out or uncomfortable when I'm around them? These just might help you narrow down the reasons for the negative feelings.
Load More Replies... Jane Doe 5 years ago
Have you ever heard the phrase self sabotage? It happens when we take the good and reverse it, by no conscious means of our own. You feel like the emotions associated with the negative, you are familiar with, therefore you can relate and handle them. Good, truly good, is foreign to you. You can break the cycle but it will need some guidance and a lot of support. And I wish I could say it’s overnight. But a good start is self forgiveness and finding the courage to self love (or at least like). BTW, you have already taken that first courageous step by coming here. And THATS positive. You can do this. One step each day.
Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago
Ah, yes. I also have a brain that hates me. In my case, therapy helped some. Getting help with my alcohol/drug problem and taking antidepressants helped. The rest was me learning how to tell the difference between my brain telling me the truth - "there's a car coming, don't pull out yet" - and lying to me - "everyone at work hates you". It took time. And I had to trust other people - to tell them the truth about my thoughts and listen to them when they said - "no, that's just your brain trying to kill you again."
Sara Radtke 5 years ago
This is a tough one to answer, because it is all based on your own self perception. Obviously you can't walk around gleeful all the time. But positivity is all how you view situations. Like, for instance, you lost your job and now struggling to make ends meat to pay bills, car has some issues. sounds awful, and down right scary. But... maybe you lost your job to find a career better suited for you, your car is having issues, but she's been a beast and still going and hope she'll treat you well so long as you take care of basic maint. try to look for a light in every situation. everything and person you meet happens for a reason. It's hard to look for light when your eyes are closed.
Viviane 5 years ago
Not every therapist is suitable. I finally found one who is perfect for me. What stands out for me is that you say "I am expecting things will go well until this one breaks my trust, just like all the others." What do they do that breaks your trust? If they're doing something unethical (such as sleeping with a patient or planting false memories or gossiping about you), that is a serious betrayal and a formal complaint is warranted. If on the other hand, they say things you don't like, that might simply be a difference of opinion. I have sometimes disagreed with my excellent therapist and it helped me learn to communicate better and think more clearly. I don't mind therapists who take chances on my getting annoyed; I have a problem with the ones who are lazy or two nice and won't risk an argument with me.
Viviane 5 years ago
You can try doing research on different types of therapy. You may need something more specialized, such as cognitive therapy. Since you mentioned your brain, try reading "The Brain that Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge. It taught me about neuroplasticity and gave me tremendous hope when I was dealing with serious depresson.
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Heather Evans 5 years ago
Not sure if this will help but here goes. For most of my life I felt the same way. I was always assuming nothing would end well, nobody would like me or stick around and everything I did was stupid or wrong. I did lots of self-help courses and was taking anti-depressants. I hit rock bottom when I retired. Then gradually I started to realize I had wasted so many years worrying about things that never happened and turning down opportunities because I was too scared to try. What helps me now is to think about things that have turned out well for me eg. keeping a few close friends for a long-time, small things I've done well eg. looking after my animals and doing volunteer work, and some times when I've been able to help other people. And as others have commented I try to think how lucky I am to have what I have. It really has helped me feel less negative about life.
Sophia Graubart 5 years ago
make a list of things that you are lucky to have, and make it specific. Not just "food, shelter", i mean "on thanksgiving i had homemade cranberry sauce, and i didn't have to lie to anyone about how good their food was", or "i have firm pillows that don't sag". It might sound stupid, but then you have a bigger list than "family, food, shelter, water"
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Aww love, sometimes these things aren't easy to figure out. It took years of taking my daughter to different therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, trying different medications, until we finally found something that works for her. Please don't give up on yourself, with the right help things can get better. I know it probably doesn't feel that way right now (I've been there myself, plenty of times), but I promise you it DOES get better. If you're not sure where to find help, try googling for helplines you can call or text. Also there are so many apps out there now that might help you with mindfulness etc. Try a few (not just one) and see if that doesn't help. I wish you all luck and happiness ❤
Kim Kermes 5 years ago
Have you looked into the concepts of cognitive behavioral therapy? It can be helpful in learning to control your thinking.
#16
I'm too scared to come out but I want to really bad but I don't know how.
Final score:
6points
Animal lover❤ 5 years ago
Do it on your own terms in the way you want. Start with a close friend, then talk to your family. I hope it works out❤
LegendYak 5 years ago
Maybe start by casually asking what they think of people like that. If they have a good reaction, there you go, but if they have a bad reaction, maybe just say that it's who you are and you can't change/control it. If they won't accept you as who you are, then it's their loss.
Jane Doe 5 years ago
Well. You started your journey already by coming out to total strangers. Take your time. Sometimes parents and friends don’t get it straight away. Be as patient with them as you would like them to be with you. And if they don’t, you can assure them, no matter what they feel at that moment, you will always love and care for them.
Storm Anne 5 years ago
i would say start with a really close sibling, then parents, THEN a close freind
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago (edited)
YAS I SHALL TEACH YOU WAYS!!!! The very first thing you should AWLAYS do is ask if they support lgbt or something like that, depending on what they say that’s the next step, if yes then you shouldn’t worry to much but you should do it in a fun way because it made me feel better. Now if they say no then you could try to slowly change their minds or you could come out but lemme just say it might not go too good BUT YOU COULD ALWAYS TRY!
I Like Jelly 5 years ago (edited)
I had a similar problem. When I first discovered I was lgbt, I kept to myself and planned out conversations with my friends before family- you can afford to lose friends. I had my friend send my parents lgbt references to see if they supported (they didn't have the friends number) and when they did I came out that night. They fully accepted me and now I'm openly nonbinary. But if your family doesn't support lgbt community, DONT come out.
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Read Dan Savage. He is an advice columnist and started the it gets better videos on you tube
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Please see my comment to Vanilla. Beyond that, the other responses here will serve you well.
Damon Gates 5 years ago
I'm sorry to hear that. No one has that right but you. People like that should be slapped down so hard it changes their DNA.
Load More Replies... #17
I have a crush on this girl. I tried to ask her out once but that failed and she doesn't even know about it. I'm to scared to ask her out in person. My plan is to ask her out the day before Christmas break, with a note on a candycane. What do ya'll think and do you have any other ideas?
Final score:
6points
Ida 5 years ago
I would recommend asking in person, not via note. I know it's scarier but that way you can be sure the message gets through and you shove her just how brave you are :D a little research beforehand doesn't hurt either, like does she like to go to movies (which movies?), favorite food/ restaurant, out-door activity or maybe a museum/ gallery? Finding a common subject to talk about can help past the difficult start
CATMONSTER2018 5 years ago
The first factor would be "Your grade" so we knoww how corny it can be
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Unless you have her digits dont do that. it will leave you the whole break tressing plus, my boyfriend and i started dating the day before a week long break, and i dont have a phone so we can talk and i miss him. Its up to you i guess, but tell me what happens. I hope this helps.
Bisexual bean 5 years ago
bruh that is so cute!!! the only problem is the details of the meet up
Momma Panda 5 years ago
When I was in highschool a guy asked me out via piece of paper on 3 different occasions (everyone read it). Since I was lacking confidence I have always taught it was a joke. When we left school I found out he liked me for 4 yrs. Always be sincere, tell her how you feel. The only thing you can lose is your pride.
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Practice this until it feels natural: "I think you're a really interesting person and I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet me for lunch or something?" Most importantly, remember that "No" is just a no. It isn't an judgement of your value as a person.
Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
I think there’s nothing wrong with your idea, just make sure to say hi to her after.
#18
how can i fall asleep easier? recently i have had trouble with falling asleep does anyone know how to help?
Final score:
6points
Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Yes- similarly to the last comment, I write speeches in my head. I imagine typing the paragraph, color coding it, and sometimes I revise old speeches lol.
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
Personally, I made a playlist of my favorite songs. They're relaxing, and when played at a low volume, provide just enough background noise so it's not completely quiet
Kateryna 5 years ago
It's also important to not use upbeat songs, as those can make you active instead of helping you fall asleep
Load More Replies... Kat 5 years ago
My noise . Net helps me. Keep searching for a sound that suits your mood set your device on a timer so it stops playing after a while. If you are still awake after 35 minutes, get out of bed and do something. Read for a short time, set the table for breakfast,... And then try again
Viviane 5 years ago
The idea is to focus on something that has nothing to do with your life and is a bit boring. I make useless lists in my head. One example: animals or celebrities that start with the letter A, then the letter B, and so on. One of my relatives counts backwards to fall asleep.
Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
Yeah I'm the same as u it takes me ages to fall asleep. I googled 'how long does it take the average person to fall asleep', and it said 2-5mins usually. It takes me about 3hrs to fall asleep and that's on a good night. Some nights I barely sleep at all. I read some stuff about listening to music or reading before bed but none of them have helped. It's not a problem during the day, I'm never tired when I wake up, I just can't get to sleep quickly xoxox
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
same. i have to get up and ready for school in two hours
#19
How do I tell if a guy likes me? I have a slight crush but can’t tell if he likes me back
Final score:
4points
Billy The Kid 5 years ago (edited)
Eye contact. If he gives you a quick glance then maybe but if it is between 10 - 12 seconds then yeah there is interest. It all depends how courteous he is towards you. A conversation starter is " sorry if I keep looking at you but you remind me of someone" Then just mention something along the lines "do you live down in ........" Whatever street.
Hazel Waring 5 years ago
If you can strike up a conversation as suggested in the other comment - mention a couple of hobbies you have (that you think he may share), if he does share them could be the start of arranging a meet up!
Donkey boi 5 years ago
Sorry to be the nay-sayer but..... guys are great at hiding their feelings. All this, 'does he glance at you'? Does he smile when you walk past?' doesn't necessarily mean anything, he could just be being polite. We might not even tell our best friend that we fancy someone. There is no way to find out if a guy likes you without exposing yourself (emotionally). Sure, his best friend might know if he likes you, but then if you ask, you're revealed. You could straight up ask him, but then you're revealed. You could have a friend ask around, but then your revealed. You basically have 2 options, do nothing and you'll never know or...…. bite the bullet. Personally I would recommend the latter, no matter what happens it will serve you better in the future. Whatever you do, good luck.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
be nice to him and if hes nice to you your crush will grow and make friends will him and his crush will grow. worked for me.
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Ask him out! I know everyone always says that the worst that can happen is that you'll get a no but you won't know unless you ask.
Bisexual bean 5 years ago
The worst that would happen to me is that it would get out and i would be bullied for being gay and my life would be ruined
Load More Replies... Storm Anne 5 years ago
try to become freinds with him and then you guys might already have a bond. I think (based on experience and my sister) that this method might be easier
Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Uh- I’m a girl. And I say go for it. Ask him. If he says no then his loss.
#20
How do I become less gullible. (I don't know what word to put here). It doesn't matter what someone does to me, I will still forgive them. How do i stop this, I dont want to get taken advantage of.
Final score:
4points
Viviane 5 years ago
I've heard the expression "Forgive, but don't forget." That means you don't dwell on what they did, but you do become careful with them. One example might be: if a friend is supposed to help with a project and they don't do their share, don't work with them again. I had boss who was fun to talk to, but not good to work for. I would still be friendly to him at parties, but I would not work for him again.
CATMONSTER2018 (Submission author) 5 years ago
oh btw, forgot to mention. im in middle school 7th grade
Load More Replies... Ida 5 years ago
I think that depends what they have done to you, and if it happens over and over.. it is not a bad quality to be able to forgive, it shows strength and compassion. But if someone do bad things toward you because they know it wont have consequences you have to cut them off because that does not sound like someone healthy to keep around. You have to stick up for yourself and dont tolerate things you feel is mean or wrong. Do you do this because you are afraid that people will not like you or be around you if you dont forgive them?
MaeRose 5 years ago
I wouldn't call that being gullible. It's you trying to a really really good person. I think you try to see the good side of everyone and everthing which is amazing but the world we live in now has gone to s**t. Sometimes, we just have to learn when to say "that's enough". It's difficult sometimes but saying no isn't good for just you, it's good for the other person too. They learn from their mistakes, they learn that actions have consequences. Being a good person in the world we live in now, sadly means being taken advantage of once in a while. If people want to continue being jerks, cut them off but don't let that stop you from being a good person to other people. The world needs more people like you.
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Believe in how awesome you are! Sometimes we want to please people and avoid conflict but at the end you need to take care of yourself
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Sometimes, "What's in it for me?" is a perfectly valid question. As Vivian said, forgive but don't forget. She also alluded to something else: if someone does something hurtful to you or you feel bad because of it, consequences are in order. Maybe something like, "I forgive you for [insert trespass here], but I no longer feel like I can trust you. You will need to decide what you're willing to do to regain my trust." Draw that line and stick to it.
#21
Ok so I'm not fat ik that but I'm now constantly aware of what I eat, and I'm trying to eat more healthy good. The reason I'm so aware of what I eat is because my mum keeps saying I'm too skinny and she needs to fatten me up and I don't need too much exercise (I've been trying to exercise more). I think my mum thinks I'm anorexic or something and she's been giving me more chocolate. She puts four chocolate bars in my lunchbox every day and crisps too and extra large portions of food at dinner. When I'm at school I share the chocolate with my friends but they all think I'm obsessed with food and they don't believe me when I say it's my mum putting them in. I feel if I say anything to my mum she'll make me see a therapist or something which I don't want to do coz there's nothing wrong with me. Plz help xoxo
Final score:
4points
Viviane 5 years ago
Most mothers would be happy to see their child follow a healthy lifestyle. If she thought you needed to gain weight, junk food would not be the solution. Don't worry about having a chat with your mother. First off, a visit to the family doctor could reassure her. As for sending you to a therapist, not the end of the world. The therapist might end up telling your mother that she needs therapy more than you do.
Kari Panda 5 years ago
I have a friend who was in a similar situation. I‘d suggest do some research and then share it with your mom (in a friendly way, not in a „You were wrong!“ way ^^ ). Exercise can actually help gain weight - good weight that is. Tons of chocolate would not produce good weight. Check what weight would be approptiate for you and which exercises/food would be suitable, and then try to get your mom enthusiastic about it. Maybe you can even do yoga together or so.
Blinding_Darkness (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ooh that's a good idea thx Kari Panda xoxox
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Wait. You too? My mom packed me a ton for lunch, and wasn’t too pleased when I fell in love with all things exercise. Btw I use to be skin and bones as a kid, really tiny and skinny. Turns out the solution wasn’t “eat as much as you can” it was eat healthy. Kinda. But mostly exercise. I’m really strong now, and instead of filling myself up with foods that could lead to fat gain, I did swimming, Pilates yoga, tennis, ballet, basketball, and lots of running and soccer. I gained weight in muscle, and my mom was more than ok with that.
Blinding_Darkness (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thx Sophia Gentile, it's really nice to know that I'm not alone, and it's not just me. I'll try what u did xoxox
Load More Replies... Skylar 5 years ago
I´ve been suffering from anorexia for years, and just got into treatment last year. Please, PLEASE seek help. Avoid triggering or pro-ana sites.
Blinding_Darkness (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ok thx I don't think I am anorexic tho I'm only 12 probably just hormones haha. I will look into it tho thank you for helping me xxx
Load More Replies... CATMONSTER2018 5 years ago
Hmm... does ur mom only put chocolate and chips in ur lunch or does she also pack like a sandwich or something.
Blinding_Darkness (Submission author) 5 years ago
Yeah she gives me a sandwich and a piece of fruit as well, she's usually great with getting me and my siblings to eat healthy. I'm the only one getting four chocolate bars every day tho. It's not really a problem at the moment because I'm off school coz of covid
Load More Replies... #22
I lost my job due to health reason and now couse of covid I can't find anything. Tried to open etsy shop but there is very little views, what should I do to get more visibility on the internet? If I'm not going to sell anything I think we are going to live on the streets...
Final score:
4points
Brandy Grote 5 years ago
Look on Fivrr for quick jobs you can perform. Also, try making other social media accounts for your store. Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, even Facebook. Get the word out as much as you can. Get some side hustles going, driving, seasonal stores, whatever service you can provide.
Alex Garcia 5 years ago
I'm seeing a therapist right now and she brought up a really great thing when dealing with stress... loss of job does not equal living on the streets. Maybe it means you need to find a room mate, or move home for a little bit, but don't get worrying about living on the streets! As a fellow artist though, I feel the pain of trying to get more exposure. If you're looking for a paycheck while you're working on art, check your local temp places and apply for all of them! There are probably even temp agencies that are design based too. Even if it's a quick buck, those jobs are far easier to "try out" and then you tell your recruiter that it's not working out. If you're wanting more opportunities to sell your work, it is the Holiday season right now. Maybe have a special sale or open commissions that will be fulfilled by the New Year. Spending a little ad money then on Facebook or Instagram for a commission special is also good! Maybe just focusing on the Holiday season is a good start
Vivien Bone (Submission author) 5 years ago
difficult to sell on amazon in Poland
Load More Replies... #23
Got a 4-month old Belgian Malinois girl here, she knows how to sit, thinks everything is a toy if it’s close enough to her face, and will use anything as a reward. Pretty calm puppy, doesn’t bark, but nips and bites at my legs if I walk too fast or she’s all hyper. Solutions to nipping/biting? Also, training tips? I’ll take anything. Thanks you guys!
Final score:
4points
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Home from work, stripped and flopped on the bed with a book. Puppy jumped, nipped right on a sensetive part of my chest. I let out a Yelp that left no doubt and she never did it again. You see, I speak her language, lol
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
OK I know that Cesar Millan gets criticised a lot but please hear me out... some of his methods have worked miracles in our house. I have this one dog in particular who is my "problem child" – don't get me wrong, I love her like I love my human child, but she is such a handful. She had a really strong, dominant personality which can quickly turn into aggression. At one point I had 5 dogs in the house, 4 of them large, as well as cats and obviously humans. For real you don't want problems with dominance/aggression because it can turn ugly SO easily. So I watched a LOT of Cesar and I used many of his methods. Like I assert myself as the pack leader by using my body language and eye contact. When I have to talk sternly to her, I use my best low-pitched growly alpha voice (my daughter laughs at me). It has happened that she attacks one of our other dogs, then I lay her down on her side or back (gently I swear, please don't kill me) and stare her down like this is not acceptable behaviour.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Oh wait I thought of something else. Malinois are famous for being super smart. With dogs like that, they're happiest when they're learning new things and being stimulated. I have a GSD cross girl who's like that. She loves learning tricks. We did all the regular things like sit and lie down, shake hands and high five, then spinning in a circle, looking for my car keys, ringing a bell for a treat... she's so smart and so food motivated, as long as I have treats I can teach her anything! She loves it and she's so proud of herself when e.g. she finds my key, or she's so happy when she rings her bell to ask for a treat because it's a way for her to communicate with me. Hope you guys have lots of fun 🙂
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ok: thank you everyone for your advice. HOWEVER. It’s not a dominance problem. Yes, we are aware that she’s teething, that’s she’s super smart and likes to learn, we do take into account Cesar Milan’s advice, and we do use a deep voice when telling her “no” and has been recently trained to “leave it”. I should have said this beforehand. I guess it’s just a puppy thing.
Sharon Chang 5 years ago
At 4 months your puppy is still teething. Also they use their mouths to “explore” things. My terrier puppy went through anything wood like a buzz saw at that age; so you could look for toys that are specifically for chewing, like Nylabones. Kong toys are made tough and you can put treats inside to give them a self-reward. If the nips are turned on you, a stern “No” can startle pup enough to stop. If you don’t want your puppy to associate your voice with negativity, get a noise maker to use instead. A jar full of nuts and bolts shaken will work. But just keep in mind it’s a phase the puppies all go through. Yours will outgrow it. Good luck to both of you!
Kyle Sipple 5 years ago
My dog did that kind of nipping my ankles when she was bored and wanted more of my attention.
I love izuku midoriya 5 years ago
I suggest getting her rawhide strips or bully sticks for your dog to chew on or maybe go to your nearest pet supply store for puppy training
#24
I am a closeted queer person and my parents are kinda homophobic/transphobic. My Dad works at my school and I am constantly looking around corners. They have started monitoring my phone (I’m not even sure if I won’t get caught reaching out like this) and I have gotten caught talking to my gay/FTM BFF about me being queer. My dad has come up with this narrative about how my friend (mentioned above) is trying to sell me on being gay and that I am too young to know. He says that he has gay friends and that they didn’t know until they were in college, but I am sure that I am, in fact queer. Any help is appreciated. ❤️
Final score:
4points
Viviane 5 years ago
In case you get caught: Dear Papa of Octopus: Your child is very, very tired and anxious from dealing with your monitoring. I'm sure your gay friends are fine upstanding citizens and productive members of society. Is that not what you want for your child? Please relax so that they can focus on their studies and not on finding ways to get you to leave them alone. If you're worried about your child, focus on safe sex for them. I have LGBTQ relatives, in-laws, colleagues, etc. and they figured out their identities at different ages.
Viviane 5 years ago
Your parents are homophobic/transphobic AND snoops. Can you use a computer at the library or a discrete friend's phone to communicate about your situation? As for your father's idea that LGBTQ is contagious: it's not. Lord knows, I and plenty of other straight people have had "the college experience" and we're still straight.
Viviane 5 years ago
By the way, "the college experience" is slang to straight people fooling around with the same sex to see if they like it and then deciding that it's not their cup of tea after all. It generally happens in college-aged people. Which begs the question: did your dad have to wait until college to know that he was straight?
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
You are awesome! (Also I love your prof pic and acc name)
#25
I'm an introvert, so I like to be alone, but I afraid of gradually getting lonely as I grow older. I need the contact with people, but I hate (and can't do) small talk. My ideal day is staying home, playing games and walking with my dog, but I don't want to become an insane, grumpy person, living only like this. I wait robots and software to take away my job and pay taxes instead of me, but I want to feel that I am part of the society.
Final score:
3points
Neva Nevičica 5 years ago
You don't have to hang out with people, but you can still help them without talking much to them (you can volunteer somewhere, or help your neighbors, you can offer your help to a retirement home). They will be grateful, you will feel useful and you are free to go home after that. Also, they will help you when you need help, most of them.:)
Dániel Prim (Submission author) 5 years ago
That's true, there will always be people around me. I live in a city, not in the desert.
Load More Replies... Kyle Sipple 5 years ago
Well, I’m old and I like being alone and I’m not a grumpy hermit. I just like doing my own thing. And I’m not lonely or bonkers. I live on 5 acres in the mountains with 2 dogs and they’re enough for me. Do people wonder about whether I’m lonely or isolated? All the time. But each of us lives their best life living in the way that’s true to who they are. I love watching the seasons come and go, and love walking with dogs. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m alone, not lonely. My favorite saying is “All who wander are not lost.” I have given it on keychains and cards to people who think they’re wrong for living the way they do, or that other people judge them. Live in a way that’s meaningful to you.
Pheebs 5 years ago
I’m in the same boat. As an introvert, I find it’s easier to connect with people if I find activities geared toward my interests. That way any small talk you end up doing tends to be around those activities and make getting to know someone easier. Chilling in a small cafe or bookstore has always been a fav. Get to be around people, but don’t necessarily have to interact. I’ve also found being an introvert to be a lot like a rechargeable battery. The more you keep a battery plugged in, the faster it loses charge when unplugged. Likewise, the more we stay in and charge, the less we’re “using our battery” - we lose whatever desensitizing we’ve built up to being around other people, so we get drained faster. It might help to increase your time around people in small doses, hold some tolerance levels. Small talk takes practice.
Donkey boi 5 years ago
My wife is an introvert, I'm defiantly extrovert. We have routine of work time, dog time, together time and alone time that's very fluid, if she decides she want to be left alone longer, or wants to be with me more, we adjust things to find the time. I'm a bit of a gamer so can always happily loose myself for a few hours if needs be. It can happen! Don't loose hope!
Sentinel 5 years ago
If u hate small talk, maybe u have better chance appreciating conversation with existing contacts? U can reconnect with some of them to see how it goes. Other thing: u can take one of those online classes, which have interaction with other students. Since u all already have common goals, it will take care of the part of small talk & u can go right into subjects of interest
Marnie 5 years ago
I suggest finding an activity you do with people, but which doesn't require much chatter. Something like role playing game, or Magic: The Gathering. Also, it's easier to avoid small talk if you're in a group with chatty people. Maybe a bowling team, even though it's a bit old-fashioned. Or live action combat chess.
Kari Panda 5 years ago
Introvert doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy other people‘s company. Introvert merely means you need alone time to 'recharge'. You can have a lovely evening with friends, you just need time to yourself to rest. So if you have friends, start spending time with them. You don‘t have to go partying every evening, but maybe a game night once or twice a month or maybe go see a movie you find interesting. Or if you don’t have friends, find something you love doing and join a respective club. Just make sure you don’t a) feel bad for spending time alone b) be proud of how well you do alone. It’s all about balance, and as an introvert, your balance is simply more on the alone time side.
#26
Every time I post a comment on Bored Panda that is an accurate statement of fact, people down vote it.
Final score:
3points
VANILLA 5 years ago
Because your always being political and rude. Not always but most of the time
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Perhaps your "accurate statement of fact" isn't that accurate.? There are a lot of people who believe that voter fraud is a real issue, while all courts have thrown out claims. If you are still claiming that Trump lost because of voter fraud, it's understandable that you get downvotes.
Neva Nevičica 5 years ago
Yes, but your facts may be someone's insult. So what, you post it to get upvotes or to be liked? If you want to be liked and upvoted, post something funny or kind. If you want to inform people, you can do it in a kind way, too. And after all, so what, a person you don't know downvoted you, he's not your family or friend (i hope):D There, you can downvote my comment to feel better, i won't mind;)
Demon Child 5 years ago
Yeah, if you say something political you should automatically expect a backlash. This isn't really a place for arguing anyway, it's a nice spot on the internet where people flock to escape boredom.
Ian Bartels 5 years ago
Because most people on Bored Panda are democracts and unfortunately we live in a world where if people don't agree with you, they can't accept it and move on. No, they have to make you feel like crap for having a different opinion.
Zophra 5 years ago
I don't totally disagree, but much of it is how you present your view. If you start by putting the other person on the defensive or offending them, the other person is going to respond in a negative way.
Load More Replies... #27
well, lately me and my girlfriend have been in a weird spot- like we hug and stuff but otherwise when we are with friends i feel like she ignores me. She told me that "sorry i am just bad at showing affection.." even tho she once had this other girlfriend and she was like all over her and shit. i think i am over thinking it but i dont know if i should be worried or not.. pls help
Final score:
3points
BoredDragon 5 years ago
I think you should be tiny bit worried. If she’s flat-out ignoring you in public, that’s kinda weird. If she’s normal with you when you’re alone, though, it’s probably ok. She just might be a little nervous about something. If not, though, there’s probably a problem. Maybe try to talk to her about it a little more.
¯_(ツ)_/¯ (Submission author) 5 years ago
I do think something is wrong, im planning on asked her if everything is alright and try to find the bigger picture.
Load More Replies... Storm Anne 5 years ago
she might be scared to let her freinds know or. she just isn't ready to tell them. give it some time and if she is getting worse; then you should be worried
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
tal to her about it. make sure its a very mature convo tho
Sentinel 5 years ago
Can u ask her frankly? Like maybe u guys have different personality in these situations & thats ok too. My hubby was extremely shy in public (his background & his country). Kissing in public was a big no no. But now he has graduated to being ok with semi pda. Haha. Progress
Tammy Rawdon 5 years ago (edited)
@MariaSchneider: You claim to be a therapist in charge of other therapists. Then you downvote & berate me for advising people to go to PsychologyToday.com to research. Sounds very suspicious to me.
️️️Trans gay boy️️️ 5 years ago
It could be that she doesn’t want to make the mistake because maybe that’s why the other girlfriend broke up with her(please remember I don’t know much about your situation)
¯_(ツ)_/¯ (Submission author) 5 years ago
haha its fine but, my girlfriend broke up with her now ex bc she cheated on her...
Load More Replies... J.G 5 years ago
You're describing gas lighting. That's abusive. She knows how to be affectionate, you've seen her do it. You don't deserve that, from her or anyone else. Please don't tolerate abuse. You matter, you're worthy.
¯_(ツ)_/¯ (Submission author) 5 years ago
i understand what you are saying but she isnt that type of person, she is super chill, nice, and always cares about others more than herself.
Load More Replies...
Ericka Hokkanen 5 years ago
Have an HONEST conversation- about how you feel and don't them the other second guess how YOU feel. Your feelings matter and if there is a problem just SAY something!
#28
I apologize that it's super long. Ok, so I found a classmate attractive and we started talking because of a group assignment. I developed feelings for him and wouldn't you know it, he gave me his snapchat. As a naive teenager I fell hard for such an act and searched him up. Nothing. I checked snapchat, twitter, facebook, and instagram. It had appeared as if he didn't exist. Immediately: He's trolling me! But why? So the next day I confronted him. He claimed he gave the right one. Then hours later saying that because I confronted him, his buddy told him I had a crush on him, *Yipes! How?!* Then straight up asked for my number, gave blunt comments about my attractiveness, gave me his number, and started talking dirty to me. I was freaking out of how fast and easy things were going, that I was absolutely suspicious. *In my head: Yeah no* So I gave him a fake number in result. I later felt bad and texted him with my real number. Two weeks went by and this boi BARELY talked to me and if he did, every word was short-answered, misspelled, or abbreviated. If anything, I was lucky to even get a "Okay". He one day out of nowhere asked if we could date now and promised all these great things of being loyal. It then struck me that he was desperate. I didn't want to be mean so I felt pressured and had a long night of sobbing, ice cream eating, and worrying what my parents would think. But I said yes because I had convinced myself that I liked him. He then turned around and told me that he was messin. I felt so relieved and did cartwheels, but a sense of anger lingered as I STILL(stupidly) continued to talk to him. We zoomed, texted, and called for a good week. I found out that he was rich UwU. He asked me to date again, but I didn't want to fall for it and told him sure as a joke. He apologized after and told me that his brother sent the message. (Which was a lie because his brother didn't live with him at all). Moving forward to the next day, he was "pretending" to talk to his crush(we'll call her Adri) in front of me. I was honestly full of joy that he didn't like me, but it was a little sad. I started making jokes about them together as I would with any friend. Apparently, by doing this, it..."turned him on?" and got him to ask me officially out. *sigh* I told him "ok, I guess" and oh boy did I make the worst decision. He kept sending these s*x jokes, emojis, and calling me mamma. I was...horrified! After bugging him about the snap account thing, he sent me a screenshot of his full account. I was astound when I saw his story page: Dares and Memes. And under dares and memes was a list of names that appeared to belong to girls. The first one I saw was, you guessed it, Adri. The dots connected so perfectly that I was too stubborn to see it. My classmate was a player. And the list of girl names were his prey. I felt betrayed and wanted to help those girls, but I knew not one of them. I took every positive thing into consideration, finding some sense in this, but couldn't. I later got a text from him saying, "I don't like to date you right now". GREAT!! Me NEITHER!! And I never talked to him after that. And when I accidentally did, he told me to send nudes to date again......... What.The.Actual.Flip.Is.Wrong.With This.Guy? I still have classes with him (hooray ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) ) But I just wanted advice of what I should do now since I can't let this go knowing I probably have a opportunity to do something about it.
Final score:
3points
Viviane 5 years ago
You got strung along, but you figured that out. It sounds as if you learned from the experience, so don't be too hard on yourself. You can't change that asshole, but you can spread the word that he's a player. He's likely to keep adding names to the list, so let gossip do its job and you may save others from being strung along. If someone still takes their chances on this asshole, tell them DO NOTE SEND NUDES unless they want them all over the school. This asshole is the exact type who would send them to everyone he knows. If that happens, check the laws in your area regarding revenge porn and child pornography (such as nudes of someone under 18).
Chris Jones 5 years ago
I'd say just avoid completely. Don't talk about it to others particularly as he may see this as 'bad mouthing' him and take revenge. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Oh, NEVER SEND NUDES!
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Nothing to say except eww, this dude is a jerk, and never send nudes, nothing can actually get completely deleted.
François Carré 5 years ago
I'd say, don't waste your precious time with that jerk. Having a crush on someone doesn't mean that person is good, and it seems you've just learned that lesson. Next time you meet someone you like and who is worth it, you'll see that things will happen in a completely different way.
I'manoob! (Submission author) 5 years ago
You are wise. I'm glad you commented ^^)
Load More Replies... Bisexual bean 5 years ago
you can get arrested for havng nudes on your phone, even if they are pictures of you
#29
How do I help my children have a healthy understanding of food? I’ve been obese and food addicted all my life, I’ve had bariatric surgery. I still struggle, but I know what are right and wrong food choices. The problem is, my husband is naturally thin, and even though our 13yo is 250 pounds, and our 4 year old is 60 pounds, he stops at the store every single day to pick up cases of sugar pop, gummy candy, or a 6 pack of mcDonalds cheeseburgers for one kid. I’ve fought, I’ve educated, I’ve dumped out bad food both in secret and right in front of everyone, I’ve done meal plans and prepped weekly healthy foods. I still can’t seem to make him understand that he is hurting our children by teaching them it’s normal to eat chips, soda, candy, and fast food every single day. He’s watched me struggle and complained plenty about my weight over the years, I know he doesn’t want our kids to be obese, but this man who can re-build a car engine by hand from memory, cannot seem to make the connection that too much sugar = obesity for people with my genetics. I’ve actually considered divorce to save my kids, even though the rest of our marriage is good.
Final score:
3points
Viviane 5 years ago
What your husband is doing sounds like possible abuse. Another possibility: he might be trying to win their love by feeding them. So I agree with Abhainn to try having a doctor talk to him and go to counselling to find out why he has a compulsion to buy junk food for his children. Document his behaviour, including the fact that you've tried to curb his compulsion to overfeed the children. If he is not willing to compromise (such as treating them once a week), do save your children and get a divorce. Make sure you get full custody and he only get visitation rights (maybe one day a week, to reduce overfeeding).
Damon Gates 5 years ago
"I'm making pediatrician appointments for the kids and YOU. ARE. COMING."
Stitches 5 years ago
Idk if this is my standpoint seeing as I’m not married. But your husband should not and should never complain about your weight. You need to talk to him. Sit him down and make him understand. If the rest of your marriage is great it’s not worth a divorce. It’s not much but hope that helps.
CATMONSTER2018 5 years ago
Im only 7th grde so my opinion probably doesnt matter but Personally I think you should measure their weight every day, and/or take them to a doctor to measure blood-sugar and cholesterol. on average, a 13yo should weigh about 113lbs, and a 4yo should weigh about 34lbs. There isnt enough room for me to finish this paragraph so ill continue in the reply section.
CATMONSTER2018 5 years ago
Some strategies you could use to help with the problem is maybe go on daily family walks in a park. You could also try baking something and sneaking stuff like spinach into brownies or whatever. this is a link to a BMI calculator. there is a "key" on the right that will show when eating to much will become dangerous,--- https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm --- As an example: I had to type in my height and weight... 5 foot 3, and 93.1LBS. my BMI was 16.5 which is underweight...
Load More Replies... Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Tell him you're thinking of divorce to save those kids. If that fails, have a divorce lawyer tell him. I knew a mother who compensated with candy, her kids now struggle with diabetes. You have done all you can do alone, it's time for an intervention for those kids quality of life if not life itself, and your own peace of mind.
Viviane 5 years ago
You sound open to compromise of one junk food day a week, but if he's not, here are the steps: Have a doctor explain the dangers of overfeeding his children; if that doesn't work, counselling to find out why he overfeeds his children and can he compromise; if that doesn't work, you'll have to save your children. Another option: I knew a married couple that lived in separate homes.
Viviane 5 years ago
I had posted an answer, but I can't see it for some reason. So here goes: your husband has a compulsion, counselling can help find out if he's trying to buy the children's love or rebelling against you or some other reason.
Viviane 5 years ago
Part 2, in case of divorce: Document the issue, what you've tried, that he won't stop overfeeding his children, etc. Get full custody - overfeeding can be a form of abuse. If he gets visiting rights once a week, that's just one day of junk food.
Load More Replies... #30
I'm pretty sure nobody likes me. Everybody is telling me I'm annoying, and my family always pins the blame for anything bad on me. My older brother bullies me, and my parents don't do anything about it, even when they're there. My other siblings like to pick on me too. And my little sister has no definition of personal space and my parents baby her because she's the youngest. I feel like my family would rather not have me around, other than to use my as an emotional punching bag.
Final score:
3points
Brandy Grote 5 years ago (edited)
Prepare now to leave the nest. Figure out how much you need to live where you are, and what jobs you can get to make that money. When you can get that job, save every penny you can in your "freedom fund". Once you are out of their house, you only have to deal with yourself. There is no law saying you have to stay with people who hate you. If there is any physical abuse, please contact the proper authorities in your area.
Viviane 5 years ago
If there's physical abuse, definitely call for help. Document it: Take pictures of bruises or cuts and write notes of who did what to you and who witnessed it. If you're too young to be on your own, find out if there's housing for youths who have been mistreated. Find out what the conditions are like - would it be better or worse than living with your family? When I was a teenager, one of my friends went into a group home. She didn't like it that much, but she thought it was better than living with her mother.
Load More Replies... Rebecca O’Donnell 5 years ago
Some people aren’t meant to be parents. There doesn’t seem to be any discipline or direction of what’s right or wrong. The advice by Brandy is spot on. Family does not have to be by blood. You can make your own family as you make your way through life by surrounding yourself with people who love you. Do Not feel guilty by leaving this family behind. They are not worthy of you.
Sentinel 5 years ago
Growing pains. I used to have dark days growing up. Yeah still not close with my siblings. Dont get along. U need to have along term perspective of the future. Remind yourself that your living situation is not permanent. & speaking from the other side now, surprisingly, once u move out, after a long time u might even start to miss them. If the bullying is legitimate concern, u need to take action to alert someone outside. However, other than that, stay positive. Focus on your long term goal, id say.
#31
bipolar (i think, cant get tested), extremely depressed, suicidal, and gay as f*** but i cant vent. Try to solve this, bored panda
Final score:
3points
Bisexual bean (Submission author) 5 years ago (edited)
i would say how much i feel like i am just a stationary thing in a world where everything else is moving and falling apart before my eyes and i cant do anything about it. It feels like everything i touch is ruined and its all my fault. I feel like the world would be a better place if i was never born. I feel alone, and i feel like everyone hates me because everything i do is wrong
Load More Replies... Kat 5 years ago
Write (or find some other form of ventilation... Dancing, baking, drawing, build a Lego construction...), take meds even if it's just to get you through the worst, find things you can control and focus on that (study for this one test, finish one more chapter of a book, wash the dishes, ... ) Pick one thing and set a realistic goal. For now, forget about the rest. That is too much to handle.
Viviane 5 years ago
I would start with talking to a family doctor or a school counselor to see if they can find a specialist for you. The depression really concerns me. If you have to take medication, don't let anyone shame you for it. I have people who tell me to exercise for depression - it's not bad advice, but I still need to take meds to prevent severe depression.
Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Find something you love, whether it’s a sport, art, cooking, whatever, and use that as your motivation to get through the day. I’m not going to empathize because I’m not sure you want that, but YOU GOT THIS.
#32
Not necessarily a problem per se, but I would like to know how the heck bitcoin works.
Final score:
3points
Steve Barnett (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you Viviane for responding. Tried googling it but WHOOSH! right over my head! Think it's got something to do with 'mining' though?! Guess I better just stick to normal currency :)
Load More Replies... marlene 5 years ago
i can't be quite sure, but i think it's a kind of, to simplify, "digital currency". it's a computer file stored in what people call a "digital wallet". people can send whole or parts of bitcoins to this digital wallet, and vice versa. think of it as money, but digital ! hope this helped :]
#33
I don’t Think that this can be solved but I have a little problem. I was playing Among Us and found the nicest person. I couldn’t tell them my phone number, or any way to get in touch with me before the server disconnected. So, if Cyberdoggo (Cyan) met PRISONMIKE(Pink) in the Pollus map, Please comment. Thank you so much!
Final score:
3points
2763MilesAway 5 years ago
i had this happen before to a person named Egg Girl 4. i miss them so much...
#34
I found out my husband was trying to reconnect with an ex. He met on tinder when we where separated for 6 months in 2018. I told him I knew and that it was over. That was two weeks ago. He hasn't tried to contact me to explain or apologise or anything. I feel so alone, but if he really wanted me he would have tried explaining his actions right?
Final score:
3points
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I always feel like I shouldn't give relationship advice because I'm chronically single, so what do I know. But if you want my opinion, the fact that he hasn't even tried is a bad sign. Like one of my friends said to me once when I was mid-breakup – do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to fight for you? I'm sorry love, I don't think he's interested anymore, and imo that means you shouldn't be wasting any more time in him. What I can tell you, as a single woman and single mother, is that being single is not a curse – yes sometimes you feel alone and sometimes you wish you had someone, but being on your own is something you need to adjust to, especially after a long/serious relationship, but once you give yourself that time to adjust, for real, being alone and happy is perfectly possible. I wish you love and happiness ❤
Rachel Whitehall (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you. Deep down i knew this, but needed to hear it from someone else x
Load More Replies... Rachel Whitehall (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you all. I've been with him my entire adult life, apart from the 6 months in 2018. I honestly thought we'd be together till the end. I'm now starting to come to terms with fact that he isn't interested anymore. My eldest child is no longer speaking to me either which makes it harder. Especially as she's expecting my first grandchild in March. I have family nearby and just started therapy for my mental illnesses. One day at a time. Thank you again x
#35
coping mechanisms for depression ? reasons to stay ?? i've been struggling a bit lately so if some advice or something could be given that would be wonderful :D
Final score:
3points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Because you are a beautiful, smart, stunning girl. You have lots of life ahead of you and you need to be here to see it. Stay strong and don't let a few bad things bring you down, get up and prove to the world what us pandas know you can be, a strong powerful woman! marlene, you obviously know that life is getting you down, but dont give life the pleasure of seeing marlene give up. You can do this girl, and I don't know about the other pandas, but I am right here behind you, supporting you. Also, knock knock... (who's there?) Britney Spears... knock knock (who's there...?) oops I did it again....
marlene (Submission author) 5 years ago
thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( this made me smile like i haven't in a while. it means so much to know that someone i haven't met in my whole existence cares about me. your words were so kind and i may or may not have shed a tear :') if i could hug you, i would. thank you, thank you, thank you. i will always keep your words close in my heart. pls take care of yourself <3
Load More Replies...
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago (edited)
I have a coping mechanism that I think could help. picture a trashcan, and throw away the feelings of self hate or depression that you have, and try to think more about funny things. Distract yourself by talking to people(doesn't matter who) or if you have a pet play with him/her. if you don't get a virtual pet or game that requires you to take care of it. tell yourself positive things each day in the mirror, even if you're just saying good morning. try to stay out of bed, go outside more if it helps. Most importantly, make a friend that you can relate so that you two can help each other
marlene (Submission author) 5 years ago
this is so kind :( thank u so much !! i will most definitely try these. it rlly means a lot <3
Load More Replies... Viviane 5 years ago
You absolutely should stay. Writing helps. For me, writing long-hand is better when I'm dealing with emotions, but if a keyboard works for you, that's fine, too.
marlene (Submission author) 5 years ago
thank u so much :( i will definitely try this !!
Load More Replies... Harløw-Banditø 5 years ago
Try listening to twenty one pilots! They write songs about depression because the lead singer has it and their whole mission is to help people cope. I was having some pretty serious problems and when I realized what their songs were trying to say, I felt so heard and understood. Please stay, you can find happiness. You are loved. The road does not end in darkness. <3
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I also love Imagine Dragons. Burn Out – sometimes listening to that song is what gets me through the day. It's going to be my next tattoo. Don't burn out on me, Marlene ❤❤
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm sorry you're struggling. It makes me sad when I know that someone is struggling with depression because I know the feeling so well and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I've been struggling with major depression and suicidal thoughts for most of my life. What I can tell you is that I've finally gotten to a place where I'm glad that I stayed, I'm glad that my suicide attempts failed, I'm happy that I'm still here. I've learnt that even though there have been *so* many times when I thought that I'd never be happy again, or I thought that nothing will ever get better, I was wrong every single time. It always get better. That bad place you're in is never permanent. You are going to get through it, even of it doesn't feel that way now. As far as coping goes – I only went to a doctor for help for the first time 5 years ago. I've been on medication ever since and I wish I had done it sooner. I would absolutely recommend that you consider it. Also, can you visit a therapist...
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
(Cont'd)... or a counselor of some kind? Maybe you could call or text a helpline? Maybe try a self-help mindfulness app on your phone? I've heard very good things about youper and headspace. Please look for help, nobody should suffer alone and in silence. Sending you love and hugs ❤
Load More Replies... #36
8th grade is hard. I don't know many others at my school. It doesn't help that my two brothers and I got high and decided to do our own haircuts. One of my brothers made my hair SO SO SO short, I prefer it in White-boii-afro-curly-head-thing. I just don't like my hair.
Final score:
3points
Viviane 5 years ago
Be patient while the hair grows out. Lesson learned: don't make decisions while high. While we're on the topic of getting high: teenage brains evolve and getting high is not great for that. Be careful and don't overdo it -- especially if there's a history of mental illness in your family. Years back, I got high once a week and after a year or two of that, I had bad anxiety, which runs in my family.
Jackson Allinder (Submission author) 4 years ago
BuT It KeEpS ThE VoIcEs AwAy. Only Joking
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ShawtyCantComeToThePhone 5 years ago
hey I'm in 8th grade too! yeah it sux. But i also cut my hair real short last year (like a bob, I'm a girl) and it looked SO SO BAD coz my hair is wavy and really thick, so it just poofs. I learned to embrace it while it was short and try to make it look the best it could short. Now that my hair is growing out, it looks a lotttt better, and I'm not going to school this year, but im excited to come back in 9th grade and be like HAAHAHA LOOK IM PRETTY NOW KIDS (jk). But just have patience and enjoy the process, then when your hair is back you will appreciate it so much more than u did before. Good luck man!
Jackson Allinder (Submission author) 4 years ago
Thank you, my hair grows really fast so it now looks like a grown out military cut.
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Doughnut Drizzle 4 years ago
I'm also in 8th grade too! and yeah! it is sooo tough! 8th grade has given me a bit of stress lately!
#37
I am a teenage female. I suspect I have "mild" or "high-functioning" or "Autism 1" or whatever the politically correct word is now. In females, autism is harder to spot. It can look like High Sensitivity, OCD, depression, etc. I feel different from my peers. For one things, my interests are in different places: I like physics, chem, bio, drawing, painting, animals, and humanities, while my friends are into TV shows, studying for SAT, and gossip. For another, I am almost never completely still (stim?). My most constant ones are toe rubbing, leg shaking, and doodling. I need lots of time to recharge. I am constantly thinking--my thoughts are never quiet. I'm extremely introverted and I get overstimulated by people, noise, and lights. I feel like I am wearing a mask a lot of the time. I don't like physical touch. It is extremely difficult for me to recognize my emotions, much less process and share them. The problem is, it isn't interfering with my life, which I heard is needed to get a diagnosis. Is this true? Maybe life gets harder as I age, so it could interfere as more things are demanded of me... is that how this works? For against: I am able to make eye contact, I wasn't delayed as a child, I am able hold conversations, listen to others, understand and use sarcasm, take turns in conversation, talk on the phone, and use my vivid imagination.
Final score:
3points
Storm Anne 5 years ago
you seem nice. If it isn't interfering i think you should try to stop worrying so much. i think you have a lot of potential and should try to live life best as u can :) (im no expert but i think u just have a very mild case of Autism 1)
#38
how do i stop myself from cutting and doing things like that? help?
Final score:
3points
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I know this is probably really drastic, but I got tattoos on my inner left arm where I used to cut. Images that remind me of positive thoughts, like a phoenix and a lotus flower and arrows. So when I have the urge to cut, firstly I'm obviously like omg I don't want to slice up my tattoos. And secondly i look at my arm and I see the reminders I put there to myself, that I will rise up from ashes over and over like a phoenix, and that beautiful things grow from dark places like a lotus flower, and that when life is dragging me backwards, maybe it's just getting ready to propel me forwards, like an arrow. I've never cut again since getting them.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
As a less drastic and permanent alternative, I have heard that lots of people find it really helpful to draw on themself. Pick up a pen instead of a sharp object and just doodle on your arm, or your leg, or wherever you want. Pictures or patterns or anything. Maybe look up some YouTube videos of beautiful Indian henna designs and mandalas and try to recreate it on yourself in ink.
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marlene 5 years ago
i have struggled with self-harm before. it's hard, it really is. but eventually i stopped, and i have complete faith that you will too. some alternatives are drawing butterflies on your wrists (or any other doodle), punch a pillow, scribble, paint, draw, take photographs of anything, blast really really loud music, tear a piece of paper apart, put glue on your hand and peel it off, etc. there are countless options. you got this. you are strong. i believe in you. in the end, hurting yourself isn't and won't be worth it. good luck <3
#39
So, because of zoom calls and school, I don't exactly have time to care for myself. And so I forget to eat...most of the time. I lost 7 pounds in the last 2 weeks its horrible I know, My question is, How do I keep a healthy eating habit and stop being stressed about my school work.
Final score:
3points
I'manoob! 5 years ago (edited)
OMG!! I FEEL YOU!!(not physically, that would be weird). What I do is basically what Alyssa said and have a water bottle around you, but also try not to sit so much. Like try to stand while in meets or while doing assignments. It kinda motivates you to be active in a way. For the food thing, just step away from the electronic device when you're on break, take a nice walk to the kitchen, and look around for what you can make during the break time you have. Like a sandwich or something.Trust me, you may not feel hungry but just tell yourself to make it and eat it anyways. Cuz I'm telling you once you take a bite,*snap* it's the hunger games up all on that sandwich!!! XD or whatever you decide to make.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
You have to remember to care for yourself, I go through it too and stressing about work all the time can be tough. carry a water bottle with you to stay hydrated, and make sure you eat. feel free to talk to a teacher and ask for an extended due date, it couldn't hurt
#40
My sister want to blackmail me using my secret accounts that I really don't want my parents to know about. What should I do?
Final score:
2points
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
Close them. She has absolutely no ammunition then. You can reopen them later on and do better at keeping them hidden. That or just tell your parents and get rid of her power that way. Blackmail is a disgusting thing to do. Unless your accounts are illegal or wrong in some way maybe suggest you might talk to the police as well (you don't have to do that - just threaten it).
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Well, it isn't good to keep secrets like that from your parents... But it isn't right that your sister is doing that either.
K. 5 years ago (edited)
Deactivate the accounts and send emails requesting to remove the material, or change the emails of the accounts in case they force you to log in or anything, and definitely get something on your sister. If she wants to blackmail you, she’s already showing you what kind of relationship you can expect from her. Nip it in the bud. We all know what happens to bad people who go unchecked.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
1. Change the password of your secret accounts so your sister doesn't have acces to them anymore. 2. Delete all temporary internetfiles, saved passwords and bookmarks to the accounts on the devices you use to acces the accounts. 3. If your sister tells your parents about the accounts deny that you have got anything to do with them and show your parents the devices you use and let them find anything to incriminate you.
Pheebs 5 years ago (edited)
You an adult? Have a way to keep those accounts away from your parents? Put protections in place and even if she blabs they can’t do anything. If that won’t work, fight fire with fire? Blackmail usually means they’re trying to cover up something big. Turn the tables on her.
I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago
^Blackmail usually means they're trying to cover up somthing big. I never knew about this!! I guess I learn something new everyday.
Load More Replies... Dániel Prim 5 years ago
Blackmail back? Everybody has dark spots in their past, one way or the other. And if you reach a checkmate, move on and get along with each other.
¯_(ツ)_/¯ 5 years ago
Depends on how bad the situation is, if you did something super bad, try and find some tea about her from friends, diary (if she has one), and looking through her phone or any other device. If it isn't too bad, maybe cool calmly and collectively ask one of your parents "how bad is it to blackmail people in your opinion?" or something like that. If they are like "meh not too bad", that's when you should try and black mail your sister back because if your parents do find out they would most likely get more mad at you for doing something than the blackmail itself. If they say "omg that is terrible" or something lol, that's when you be all innocent and s**t and tell your parents that you are being blackmailed by your sister through secret accounts.
#41
Soooooo I have this crush. It was really weird when I realized that I had a crush on him because we were just friends who weren't even that close and I don't ever remember being attracted to him in any way before. Then one day it just kinda hit me like a ton of rocks, almost like a second person inside my head, telling me that I liked him. And I was like "Holy cow I do?" and my mind told me "Hell yeah girl you do!!!" This has never happened to me before. It was about two months ago. The sad part is he's already in a relationship. I never hear him talk about her and I've never seen them together so sometimes I forget about her. I don't hate her, she's really nice, but it just makes me sad because I have never had a crush like this before (and believe me I've had many). Sometimes I think that she is just a middle school girlfriend, nobody lasts up here lol, our time will come eventually, but sometimes I get so sad because I doubt that anything will ever work out. On top of that I have to deal with his friends asking me who my crush is bc they can probably smell it from a mile away that I like him. Please just give me a little bit of help and sorry if I'm being incoherent this is my first time asking for help on BP. Thanks y'all :)
Final score:
2points
Stitches 5 years ago
I’m going to be completely honest middle school relationships are a learning experience. Your correct they typically don’t last. But if he’s with another female and seems happy hate to say it but leave him be. He and this girl will eventually break up it’s what middle school relationships do lol. And when that time comes be the one that’s there for him! Let him know you care. That sticks with people. And if the times right later in the future and he’s single shoot your shot! This is cliche the worst he can say is “No”. And remember there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Hope that helped!
Viviane 5 years ago
No worries, you're making sense. I was in your situation in middle school. Since he wasn't interested in me, there wasn't much I could do. Years later, I met him again. We had both changed, so I was not interested in him. I would say that for now, keep busy and work on becoming the person you want to be when you're older. As for your friends, you have no obligation to answer. If you want, you can answer in a joking way, maybe something like, "I have a big crush on a guy who owns a chocolate factory. I only love him for the chocolate."
LegendYak 5 years ago
This same thing is happening to me rn! I haven't seen him much since Corona because he doesn't go to my school but I mostly just pretend to ignore my feelings and try to be friends. It's hard to do something about crushes without ruining the friendship, but I got some great responses on my comment (it's above) and maybe some of those will help
Olly 5 years ago
I don't have the greatest advice since I'm a middle schooler myself but just try and be patient. You're right most middle school relationships don't work out but if you really like him that much you should tell him how you feel. It doesn't really matter if he has a girlfriend or not if you like someone you like someone. If he doesn't like you back it was worth a shot right? Better to tell people how you feel than regret not.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
Middle school is the learning stage, but if it's working for now just try to be happy for him. They may say 'forever' but that won't last. Give him time after this to think and then ask.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
SAME THING WITH ME (same age group too) except we're dating now, but its sad, he asked me out and thats pretty much when i realised it and when i finally said yes, we didn't have school for a week after that first day bc of thanksgiving break. im looking forward to seeing him later today though! (I cant sleep)
#42
My friend is Jewish and often gets bothered by racist people
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
What is your question? What problem are you trying to solve? It's not clear to me if you want to support your friend when they're unhappy about racists or if you want your friend to stop being bothered by racist people.
Skylar (Submission author) 5 years ago
Sorry, my bad. I meant how can I stop my friend from being teased?
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
*rolls eyes* nothing more to say except people need to mind their own business.
#43
I am a lesbian with a homophobic family. I have to wait years to finally move out and be myself. How do I survive until then?
Final score:
2points
Daune Jaimes Diaz 5 years ago
Please go read Dan Savage and watch the it get better videos on YouTube. There are resources to help you
Viviane 5 years ago
Find allies. Are there friends who are discrete that you can trust? Is there a LGBT+ group in your area? Even online groups can help. If it's not safe to be out to your family and they're snoops, you might have to use a computer outside at school or at a library. If your family is willing to have you study outside your community, that can reduce the years in their home. You could then make friends who will have your back. I've read of people who were able to stay with friends after having problems with their families.
#44
I am 11 and still do not have a phone how do I convince my parents to get me one?
Final score:
2points
DramaDoc 5 years ago
Have you tried asking them what their reasons behind this decision are? They could range from worry about cost to your screen usage time to concern for your safety (internet access and pre-teens can be a big concern) to issues concerning responsibility. It's also important to understand that you can't always get what you want when you want it. For example, what happens if you over-use your data plan and have a big increase in the phone bill? What if you lose it/it gets stolen; how will you replace it? How about matters of cyber-bullying? Your parents may want to shield you from some of that. Also, why do you need a phone? Is it a status symbol? While my own opinion that 11 is too young (not relevant at all), sitting down with your parents and having an actual conversation about this and what their reasons may be as well as what conditions (if any) they may have prior to letting you have one may be a good first step.
Enrique 5 years ago
What you really want is unsupervised access to social networks. Trust me, it's a bad idea. In fact, given the current state of social networks, I'll say it's a bad idea at any age. At least wait until 14. My parents made some decisions when I was 11 (now i'm 39) that I didn't understand back then, but now I see clearly why they did what they did. Trust them, and in some years you will understand :) Best regards.
Emilingo (strawberry seeds) 5 years ago (edited)
I didn't have a phone until I turned fourteen and never use it. I wouldn't worry if I was you. However, if there are reasons you would need one, such as safety, ask for a flip phone or a cheap kind so they don't have to worry.
The_Dark_Prince 5 years ago
What would you do with a phone if you had one? If you can come up with at least 5, solid reasons, present this argument to your parents politely.
Bridget Price 5 years ago
im 13 and all my older siblings have phones. Instead I have an Ipod 7th generation it may sound lame but it has all the iphone features except texting without wifi. Also there is no monthly fee on it so it is much cheaper than a phone and it updates and gets all the same features as an iphone and I love it. You should ask your parents for one for christmas and they might be more willing to get you it and as you get older you can try asking for a phone again and the chances will be higher.
Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
Ok so I'm 12, I got my phone when I was 10. The only reason (according to my mum) I got the phone was to contact family in case of an emergency on the way to and from school. I was given a Nokia go edition, but if you really want a phone I guess you'd be happy with anything. for the convincing part of your problem, you could say that it is important to have contact with you in case anything happens like at a party or at school or a club or anything else u can think of. Also it would be good for communicating with friends, and you can say that you can use it for extra research on school tasks and help with homework and education if your parents are worried about you getting enough stuff done (don't worry u don't actually have to do the research maybe once or twice when you get it to prove to your parents that u deserve it). If you are hard to buy for, like at Christmas or birthdays, then you could tell your parents that a phone is the only thing you want as a gift. Sorry it's so long, x
ShawtyCantComeToThePhone 5 years ago
ay yo im 13 and don't have a phone. but since u r only 11, enjoy life while you don't have the stress of a phone coz u dont need it rn. But if u really want to convince ur parents, try improving on the things you know you are bad at and being rsponsible, that will show them that you are ready. And if they still say no, thats ok! A phone doesnt make you whole!
#45
I've already posted here but I thought of something else. I've recently gotten into some trouble and I'm not sure how to handle it. Okay so I started dating one of my friends, but the longer it went on the more I realized I didn't actually like her and I just wanted someone to cling to. So I talked to her about it and she was obviously upset and didn't talk to me for a while. When she finally did she still wanted to be friends!!?? I was really surprised because it isn't the first time, I've done it before and I hurt her really bad. The problem is I don't know why. I really care about her and there was no reason for me to do that to her. I don't want to lie to her and hurt her like that but I do it anyway and I feel awful about it. Is there something wrong with me??? How can I fix it??
Final score:
2points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
No. If you aren't happy in the relationship, than in the long run, she wont be either. You did the right thing Olly.
maria schneider 5 years ago
Nothing's wrong with you. You are a human being with whishes and feelings. And you obviously try to be honest. Fixing things with others ALWAYS means to talk to them. So keep on doing... and try to tell her if things hurt you (but do never make her feel responsible for them)
#46
Me and my boyfriend have been together over 3 years, we live together and have a dog. I've been waiting for the day we get engaged. I thought we were on the same page. I've started college and work at the same time but we decided that I should work less so I can finish my school in time with good grades. He would works so we can live mostly on his pay. But now he suddenly told me his not sure he wants to be with me anymore. I'm not sure how to mentally or financially cope. Any advice?
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
Colleges generally have counselors - find one with whom you feel compatible. Check into financial options (in my country, student loans aren't too bad, but they can be pretty tough to pay off in the USA). If he moves out, can you get a roommate? Or can you get cheaper housing on campus? Is moving back with family a possibility? Moving back happens to a lot of adults because of a setback or because of returning to school.
Ian Bartels 5 years ago
If you've been together for 3 years and he still hasn't proposed, find somebody that loves you enough to make that commitment with you. You deserve better.
#47
I really need help identifying my emotions. For example, when you see an opossum looking cute and your heart does that "pump blood but not in the way it does when I see my toxic friend" feeling. Also I thought I had a crush on several people because I didn't know the difference between love and enjoying a person's company. And is there a name for the lack of emotion I feel a lot?
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
I just found the term "Alexithymia" online. Do an online search for Alexithymia and see if that fits.
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
This isn't even my post but this actually helps a lot.
Load More Replies... Brandy Grote 5 years ago
I actually had to sit down with a dictionary to look up emotions. I grew up in an invalidating environment and never got to know my emotions. There is also a thing called Plutchik's "Wheel of Emotions". A color coded wheel listing major emotions and their variants. It's helpful to learn nuanced emotions and levels, like how rage is a strong form of anger. https://www.healthline.com/health/emotion-wheel
Abhainn 5 years ago
this sounds normal. I can only base my view of the world on what I've done/gone through with my life, but here goes. My mom is a editor/writer. when I was middle school age she was learning more about emotions, going deeper into understanding them, and I think learning how to apply them to writing. I have become a writer too, and something that really helps me identify emotions is writing out what I feel, how it's affecting me, how it may affect people around me. also, there are a million and one books and lists about emotions and how to identify them, which ones get confused with each other, and what the 'symptoms' of different emotions can be. It's actually a very interesting study and I encourage you to explore it. I also want to congratulate you on noticing and addressing this early on. well done! A book I would recommend is "The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression" though it is obviously directed towards writers, it has helped me identify my own emotions
#48
I sometimes constantly feel like some people around me hate me for who I am. I have been really good at controlling myself, I only ever "hang out" with my real friends.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
You didn't talk about your personality, but you say you "have been really good at controlling" yourself. That sounds to me as if you might have a bit of a temper or be very blunt. That might intimidate some people. You can still stand up for yourself, but find different ways to do it. For example, don't call people names (even if you really want to!). Maybe you can say how something affected you. Here's an example: Instead of saying, "You asshole, I asked you to show up and you didn't" you can say, "I waited an entire hour for you! I'm really upset because I wasted my time and I could have been doing something else instead of waiting for you!"
#49
So, I recently found out I'm trans. Female-to-male to be exact. I really want to come out to my family. My parents are super accepting and stuff, but I'm not so sure about my other family. Please help me-
Final score:
2points
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Share your concerns with your parents. If they are as you say, they will advocate for you against ANYBODY.
Viviane 5 years ago
PFLAG is a good resource for them. Your parents might not be sure how to handle this, but they sound like loving people who are there for you and want the best for you. They might need time to process that new fact, but so do parents whose kids make big changes like growing up, going off to school, moving out, etc. After that, you can discuss how to handle relatives and that you'll need your parents to have your back and take your side. You might have surprises. I know one case where a grandmother was totally cool with her granddaughter being a lesbian - nobody expected that.
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Caroline Kate 5 years ago
I really appreciate the Great Prophet for returning my lover after 8 years of been together, i taught all hope was lost. Thanks to the Great Prophet for making me happy again. You can contact him and he will be of great help because he is a wonderful man? Mail him . or whatsapp @ +1 (706) 871-4571
#50
My two best friends in the whole world are moving away
Final score:
2points
Storm Anne 5 years ago
I can relate. My twin sis has a BFF/Crush who moved away. They are still in touch though! They talk to each other through Gmail, Zoom, Chat, and Roblox! Do you have a gaming website or chating app that you are both on? If so then talk to them as much as possible and call them if you can. P.S It's still probably going to be really sad. :(
Jayme Lowit (Submission author) 5 years ago
Yeah we all FaceTime at least twice a day
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Yes! Use zoom, Skype, or hangouts. And also write letters, writing letters and sending friendship bracelets was how me and my best friend became long distance bffs. And it’ll be hard, and you will find new friends, but know you guys will stick together 😁
I'manoob! 5 years ago (edited)
My advice: get your camera, bucket list, and do all that you can with them before they leave. It may seem like not a lot of time when the time comes, but at least you did something :)
marlene 5 years ago
that's the worst thing ever. i am so sorry. one of my closet friends moved to virginia from california about a year ago. it was hell and i miss her as much as ever, but it will be okay. maybe one day you can visit them or they come back to visit ? please do your best to keep in contact with them and their family. though you could, of course, somehow smuggle yourself into their suitcase ;)
Storm Anne 5 years ago
WHO DOWNVOTED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Load More Replies... #51
My cousin and BFF committed suicide last year. And I just can’t get over it. How do you try to start moving on from someone who is really close to you’s suicide?
Final score:
2points
Anthony Goldstein (female) 5 years ago
Last year my BFF tried to commit suicide and died in a car crash leaving the hospital. It sucks a lot. Try writing them an email and don't be afraid to cry.
Viviane 5 years ago
There are a lot of difficult feelings with suicide: missing the person, guilt, sadness. I had a difficult relationship with the person who committed suicide, but it didn't prevent me from having to sort out a lot of feelings. What helped me: I helped a friend who was going through a difficult time. It kept me busy and it made me feel better about myself. I also talked about it with family from time to time.
marlene 5 years ago
i am so sorry. this is probably the worst thing someone could ever experience. maybe write them a letter, saying how much you miss them, what they're missing, maybe as though instead of them dying they just moved. talk to people, that always helps. you may not ever get over it, but it will get better with time. i promise. once again, i am so. sorry. my condolences to you, your family, and your friend's family. please hang in there.
#52
Hey Pandas I have an annoying siblings that are always bothering me.
Final score:
2points
I love izuku midoriya 5 years ago
Just tell them you need some alone time and lock yourself in your room
Viviane 5 years ago
What is the age difference? When I started being in my teens, my younger siblings acted like little snoops and would tell on me to my mum for nonsense crap (it was their way of getting attention from her). When they became teenagers, we became closer because we wanted the same thing: for mum to leave us the eff alone!
Francisco Marto 5 years ago
I can relate. Me and my bro always do things together, but my little siblings are so annoying. Usually I'll wait for them to fall asleep to do anything with my bro. One way to get them to stop bothering you is to tell your parents. Works like a charm for me.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
At the moment, same. You should think of what good they do instead of bad. Also, think that if they are younger they just want to be with their older sibling. They look up to you in a "monkey see, monkey do" relationship. so if they have a bad trait, it might be because of an older sibling. Not trying to say that it's you!!! I'm sorry
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
same. i have this small collection of unicorns an its one of the only things of mine that i dont want my baby sister to play with but when i tell her no or take them away, i get yelled at.
Kat 5 years ago
Know the feeling... You will all grow up and even if you still aren't good friends by then, you will have a very strong bond and help and protect eachother. Start preparing for that time... Keep anecdotes and stories and pictures so you can talk about how horrible they acted once you are all grown enough to appreciate such things. It will get better
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
Same. My sister and I hated each other for a few years, and now she's my best friend
Load More Replies... #53
I have started hitting myself and calling myself a mistake rubbing it of and going with a fake smile everyone I can't talk about this to anyone because I'll end up getting scolded and getting hit again so any suggestions to overcome this
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
That sounds like you self-harm and that your family is also physically abusing you. Physical abuse is serious. Try talking to a trusted adult. Start by asking if they can keep things confidential. It's the law that lawyers, doctors, psychologists have to keep secrets. However, I don't know if they do for a child. Maybe don't give your full name or use a different name until you're comfortable. Another trick, is to pretend that you're asking for a friend. You definitely need to talk to someone.
Viviane 5 years ago
If your family hits you, keep notes of what they did to you (including dates and time of day) and take pictures of any bruises for evidence. Show them to the police. Your family sounds messed up. One of my friends ended up in a group home. She didn't like it, but she said it was better than living with her mother.
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Mr. Bean 5 years ago
I totally understand what you're going through Roxy. Sometimes it is very hard for parents to understand what you are really going through. Viviane brought up a good point. If it is very hard for you to talk to your parents (I'm guessing you are a teenager), you can talk to your teacher or someone else you trust and they can help you find professional help. It is very important to talk to someone before those tendencies get work. XOXO
Roxy (Submission author) 5 years ago
They don't hit me that hard it's just that people don't understand my problems they leave me alone and don't care plus my family's awesome its just that they are always stuck that when were kids this used to etc etc but thank u for the advice on self harm
I'manoob! 5 years ago
This is probably not the best advice you probably want to hear/see, but there's a saying, "Success is the greatest revenge" And by the looks of your situation you want to be free. And nothing feels more satisfyingly free than success. So don't lose hope. And you're probably wondering about the revenge part. Well the revenge is on your negative past for treating you like crap. Also I think Revenge is ice cream because it's served cold and it's sweet. I would go with popsicles but I like ice cream better.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
That is a terrible situation, I know you said you cant talk to anyone but you need to say something. Start talking to someone, and start with the small conversations and once you feel like you can start moving into a more deep conversation go for it. If it's someone you trust they should listen to you and find help when you are able to talk about this.
#54
Also I'm just going through a tough time rn, and I just need a few words of encouragement. It doesn't seem like much but it would mean a lot to me.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
I like your picture - I looked like that when I was in high school, but you look like a sweet person (I was grumpy and serious in my pictures). In your profile, it says that you like cake, music, art, swimming, and animals. I like those too. I'm glad you wrote in, it made me smile -- maybe I need encouragement, too. :)
Julia King (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you! Your picture looks great, too.
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
You are strong and beautiful and powerful. And Julia King, you can take over the world.
Mr. Bean 5 years ago
Hi!! I'm in high school too. I know it can be really tough sometimes but we need to power through it! I really like listening to music and I swim as well. I also want to be a veterinarian when I grow up lol. You look so pretty in your picture and I know that if I knew you, we would be good friends. :D Remember that you are worth it and loved <3
marlene 5 years ago
hey julia :D i hope ur well ! it'll be over soon, no matter how long it takes. it's hard now but i promise you, it does get better. i hope you also know that it will probably get worse before it gets better. you have people who love you and even if we don't know each other, i'm here for you. take care, julia. you got this <3
Kat 5 years ago
Hello Julia. I know what you mean. Once I told something similar to a friend and he asked all his friends to write me a letter. It helped a lot. It's brave to ask for help. To reach out. If things seem dark and tough, sometimes it takes just a little more perseverance, just one more push towards a solution. Or a well deserved break from things. You will get there. There is light somewhere. Maybe it's just around the corner waiting for you. And when you find it, treat yourself to some chocolate sea salt caramel cake 😋
#55
I have a problem. What should I do with friend that is always a bully, always trying to get on my nerves, and someone in my family looks up to him. And he is not a good role model at all. And they don’t really have a persistent attitude.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
Before giving up - find out if the friend is going through something. My niece helped a bully with his school work and he became her friend. It turned out he was a bully because he was frustrated by school. Later, my niece was bullied by some girls. She scared them and they left her alone. They had no problems, they were just bitches.
Viviane 5 years ago
If it turns out that the bully doesn't have problems at home or at school, don't be their friend any more. As for the person in your family: ask them why they look up to the bully. If it's the bullying that they like, explain that it's the wrong way to deal with people and life. If they admire something else, tell them that they can admire that, but there are other people who can have the same qualities without being bullies.
Load More Replies... #56
My partners is emotionally abusive and i seriously consider separating from him. But i am confused as he is a good father to the child, he earns a lot and buys every property in my name, spends every thing on me even gives me his whole salary, good to my family. But he is emotionally distant, name calling me, never available when i need, even if i am sick he doesnt ask, we hardly talk. He is not gay doesnt have a girl friend, i have asked for divorce amicably but wont let me go. I feel so lonely, this is driving me crazy. What kind of personality is that.
Final score:
2points
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
I honestly don't think it matters if he's a good father. If he's making you unhappy, and refuses to work to try to fix it, I don't see a point in staying with him. Your happiness IS important
Sentinel 5 years ago
Same here. A lot of people use the child as justification to stay. Why? Society villify women who dared to leave their children behind. If he is physically abusive, thats a non starter; run. If not, u should seriously weight your reasons. Prioritize your wellbeing too, not just your family’s, is all im saying
Load More Replies... Viviane 5 years ago
He may not understand why emotional intimacy is important to a marriage. He may feel that the money entitles him to insult you and and be emotionally unavailable. When I was growing up, gender roles were still somewhat rigid: a good man was one who provided for his family (wife and kids). He may have been brought up that way and never questioned it.
Viviane 5 years ago
You can suggest marriage counseling, but he sounds unlikely to go. If he refuses, tell him that he can give his side of the story if he goes with you. You write that he won't let you go. How is he preventing you from leaving? Talk to a lawyer to see how you can work around the problems of leaving.
Load More Replies... Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
It matters on what is happening to you. If he is abusing you in anyway you need to get a way out of there, anyone can agree
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm sorry, it sounds like you're in a really difficult situation 🙁 As a parent, I know that security (including financial) for your child is so important, because you want to put their needs first. But as a woman who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, I understand the massive toll it takes on you. Honestly I don't know what to tell you, I don't know if there's a right decision to make. There certainly isn't an easy decision to make. I just wanted to tell you that you are heard, and you are stronger than you think, and you will be OK ❤
TheAnimalLady 5 years ago
Sounds like he's either messing with you or taking his anger or frustration out on you. Research at PsychologyToday.com to learn about "lovebombing" & "gaslighting". Narcissists use these to control you without you "believing your own eyes" or "trusting your instincts". I've known bullied wives who said the same thing you are. Good Luck, your children need you. If you stop his abuse of you, he might turn on them. God Bless you all 🙏
#57
hello does anyone have advice on how to feel good about how you look? i always appreciate it when people compliment me but i feel like i dont feel good about myself and i really want to be able to look in the mirror or at the scale and feel beautiful regardless of what people say.
Final score:
2points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
pick the thing you are most self conscious about. for me it's my feet. Think about it for a whole 5 minutes, everything you dont like. then focus on the things you do like and focus on making that better. Say, for instance, your face but you have acne issues. Work on getting special creams and ointments. Or your skin: get new scrubs and lotion and stuff.
Mr. Bean 5 years ago
Hi! I'm sorry you're feeling that way about your body. :( You should appreciate all that your body can do. Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams and you should be so proud of that. You should also celebrate your body for all the things it does for you! One thing I did when I felt like this was that I kept a list of all the things I liked about myself. When you feel good about yourself, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful. Remember that beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body. :)
Viviane 5 years ago
Don't compare yourself to celebrities. For starters, they have makeup artists, hairdressers, stylists, etc. Believe or not, some fashion models have cellulite and wrinkles. Their pictures get retouched.
Viviane 5 years ago
Teenagers can be very image-conscious, but people mature and realize that character is important. Tastes become more diverse. I don't feel that I'm beautiful, but I don't care, because I have plenty else going for me. Work on being the person you want to become (I mean brains and personality). Find things that interest you and share your interests with other people. Intelligence and a good personality lasts a long, long time and can be very, very attractive. Plus here's a little secret: boys and men get self-conscious about their looks, too.
Load More Replies... Demon Child 5 years ago
Hi, I used to have this problem. There is nothing you should change about yourself, no matter what. It sounds weird, but I would stare at people I know and pretend like I saw them for the first time. It takes some practice, but then I could move on to people I know really well like my parents. Once I could see everyone in a different light, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a whole, new person. It's changed the way I look at myself.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
Start to tell yourself that you're beautiful. get up each morning and say in the mirror "Good morning beautiful" and you'll see. If you say it every day you'll start to grow accustomed to saying it, and you'll even like saying it.
#58
Since you asked, the economy's been a bit of a (bleep) lately with the shut downs and all, so I'll ask that you support small busineses and the artists who supply them. Don't know if it's cool to post my Etsy shop address here or not. And, if you have any Holiday shopping 'problems', We're here to help!
Final score:
2points
Bisexual bean 5 years ago (edited)
And just small businesses in general! Bezos has been making billions of dollars during the pandemic and small businesses everywhere are struggling
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
post it i wanna see your work (i probably wont buy, im sorry, im just a kid though)
#59
Hi pandas, this is a pretty complicated one. My best friend wants to run away because of their abusive parents and stay either in a shelter or with a friend for the rest of the school year. I would love for them to stay with me but I live too far away and I don't know if my parents are trustworthy. Their mom hits them but I don't know how bad it is. I am really stressed out and I don't know if I should call the police or somebody.
Final score:
2points
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
Tell your parents and bring the point that your friend could stay with you. Your parents will think about it, and they will act in a way they think appropriate.
I love izuku midoriya 5 years ago
Tell people you trust and if they keep hurting your bff tell the police they are terrible parents and they dont deserve her
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Look up the number for a non emergency for the police in your area. I think they would be happy to help.
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
I looked into it a little bit, and this site seems reliable. Maybe send it to your friend? https://www.thehotline.org/
#60
My dad is always rude to my sister and I (we are teenagers) when we talk to him and he gaslights us all the time. He used to be nice once upon a time. When we told our mom, she said that he's under a lot of stress during work so we had to bottle up our feelings. Recently, my dad lost his job and spends hours in a room and when he comes outside, he's always trying to control whatever my sister and I do for little things like "stop doing this or that". My sister and I are trying our hardest to be nice all the time but what should we do when my dad is always rude to us? Should we just bottle up our feelings? My mom understands but she comes with random excuses to stop us from hating our dad. Thank you so much!
Final score:
2points
Mr. Bean (Submission author) 5 years ago
sorry for the small mistakes in the text (i was typing fast). thank you!
Viviane 5 years ago
It sounds as if your dad is depressed and resentful of losing his job. He probably feels he has no control over his life, so he may be trying to control what he thinks he can. He may think nobody understands him. He needs to find another way to handle his feelings. Counseling might help. Your mother would be the one to talk to him about that.
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm so sorry 😥 It does sound like your dad is in a bad place, and doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms. It's terrible that he takes it out on you. The best advice I can give is to remind yourself that he is just human too. Now that I'm older I understand things my mom used to do a lot better. Maybe you will too, one day. I'm not saying what he's doing is OK, because it isn't. But recognise that he's unhappy, frustrated, and stressed, and he doesn't know what to do with those feelings. Maybe just try to keep out of his way as much as you can? It sounds like your mom is really trying hard – I'm sure she also feels very frustrated, and like she's caught up between her husband and her kids. Shes probably the one who sees both sides the best, and I'm sure she's sad that there's nothing she can do to make it better for all of you. Good luck! ❤
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
Don't bottle up your feelings. Nothing good ever comes from that. Try seeing if your dad is open to talking through the issue. Tell him why you two feel like he's being controlling. If he's willing to try to fix his behavior, great. If not, I don't really know, but I'm sure someone does
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
just reply to this comment and get out a good: iowehif ihtttttttthegiuy naethehtuihretuausirobhjkgl v fehy8argtrrrrrrrheydr9btfpa8eyrg AJFIUSHFUIBUHSFSUYCFSUYDH
#61
I am depressed and constantly anxious. i hate everything and everyone hates me. My families homophobic and my dad and brothers constantly call me a faggot. WTF am i supposed to do?
Final score:
2points
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
Do you have somewhwre else you can go? That does NOT sound like a healty situation to be in
Viviane 5 years ago
Talk to a trusted adult, such as a school counselor and find out what your options are. One of my friends was in a group home to get away from her mother. You'd have to check what those are like. Some are crappy, some are okay.
Load More Replies... Bisexual bean (Submission author) 5 years ago
the problem is i still love them. they are my family
marlene 5 years ago
yes, they are your family, but i do hope that you know these things aren't acceptable. calling you the f-slur (a slur i'm assuming they can't reclaim) and being homophobic doesn't really ... sit well with me and i hope the same goes for you. breathe. it'll be okay. and if you can, please find a safer, healthier environment. or just kick them in the face, i notice that works sometimes too <3
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Oh no love, that sounds like a situation that would make anyone feel depressed and anxious 🙁 Like Christian Bradshaw said, is there anywhere else you can go? Other family or maybe friends? I know it's hard to admit that you need help, especially in a situation like this, but for your long-term mental, emotional, and physical health, this is a bad place to be 😥 Could you ask for help from a school counselor, a teacher, or a friend's parent that you trust?
Viviane 5 years ago
Do you have allies? Some schools have gay-straight alliances and some communities have LGBT+ your groups. If there's neither, find groups online. You haven't mentioned your mother. Is she part of the problem or is she on your side? Do you have friends who are on your side? There are people who stay with friends when they have problems with their family. Right now, you need to get through school. Can you study at the library? You'll at least get peace and quiet.
#62
My friend is very attractive, im talking head-turning. Guys stop to talk to her, waiters only checked in on her & completely ignored me, etc etc. i sound petty but i mean, how can i be ...more likeable like her? Other than the looks part, which is already impossible
Final score:
2points
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I know that this is going to sound like one of those cliche things that people just say.... But really self-confidence shines much brighter than beauty. I'm willing to bet that a lot of what makes your friend so attractive is the fact that she knows she's attractive and is very confident because of it. If you feel like a wilted wallflower next to her, that's what you're going to look like, because you're not as confident. There are few things as beautiful as an easy, comfortable, self-confident smile. Try to do things that make you feel good about yourself – do something fun with your hair, or do your nails, whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good. When you feel good about yourself, it's going to show and people will notice you more 🙂 And remember, outer beauty captures attention, but inner beauty holds attention 🤗
Viviane 5 years ago
Personality and intelligence can stand out, too. You might need to be a little assertive with waiters. For example, if the waiter checks on your friend and not you and you need something, you can firmly but politely say, "When you have a moment, I'd like a refill/extra ketchup/etc. Thanks."
MiaOokami 5 years ago
There is a difference in being likeable and being physically attractive. The reason your friend's getting all that attention is because those people find her attractive, not because she's extremely likeable. Just because guys who aim for extremely attractive people don't aim for you doesn't mean you aren't likeable. (It doesn't mean you aren't attractive either.)
#63
I feel very stressed out with all the schoolwork I have to do, taking care of myself, eating healthy, finding out who I am, having fun, just basically everything society as well as my parents expect me to do. And I'm also lonely. :(
Final score:
2points
marlene 5 years ago
it's tough, believe me i know. it's hard and it will be hard, i'm not going to lie. but please don't overwork yourself. that will only make things worse. do ur work at an easy pace & TAKE BREAKS !! do ur best to take care of urself, even if it's just washing ur face in the morning. for eating healthy, try to incorporate healthy greens and such into your meals. cheat urself sometimes, even the best of us can't resist a cookie sometimes :D finding out who u are is a long process, something i've been trying to figure out for years. u will get there eventually, so good luck. i believe in u. society is sh!t so pls don't go by stereotypes. u will thank urself in the future, i swear. as for ur parents, they are tough. try to do ur best to please them but not to the extent that it depresses u. loneliness is a tough thing, but try to make new friends and branch out of your comfort zone. easier said than done, but you will thank yourself. these friends might become life-long :]
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
your lonley too? omg. we are pretty much the same person, quinn
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I hear you, life is hard work sometimes. Don't forget to take time to relax sometimes. Take a bubble bath or curl up in bed and watch YouTube all day or something. I call those mental health days or duvet days and they are considered very important in my house. Don't sweat the small things, and on the bad days, remember that everything is going together better and easier again 🙂❤
#64
Too many to count, but can y'all help me out with this one? I'm young, as in middle school, and I have a boyfriend. I really really like him because he's funny and nice and sensitive, plus I think he's kinda cute... I don't really have any particular problems, but do you pandas have any advice you can give me? Because I like him a lot and I don't want this to end badly.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
Don't worry about the far future. Keep your mind on the present or the near future, such as the next two weeks. You don't have control over whether or not you'll be together forever, but you can certainly plan where to go out in the next week or so.
Viviane 5 years ago
He sounds lovely and you sound like someone with the right values in that you choose someone for their good character. That's important. I'm sure he likes that about you, too.
Load More Replies...
dandelion moon 5 years ago
Just keep it real. Accept each other's flaws, value the time you spend together, be honest about your emotions and your life, set boundaries, not restrictions, and just love each other no matter what happens today or three years from now. But don't keep him if he hurts you. Dump his ass and walk away like a goddess. Other than that just be happy with each other <3
Sent From The Slytherin House (Submission author) 5 years ago
THANK YOU!!!
Load More Replies... marlene 5 years ago
i'm sure he loves you as much as you love him !! just keep it honest and make it a relationship in which you benefit each other and stay happy. he sounds wonderful, and i am v happy for u :] best of luck !!
#65
I wanna gain weight but I feel awkward about it is there like a medicine or something that can help
Final score:
2points
Bisexual bean 5 years ago (edited)
i have the same issue. my thing is because if adhd meds look into that
I'manoob! 5 years ago (edited)
Hey I think my dad can help! He's been personal training since high school and is very good at what he does. If you'd like, I could ask him some tips you could use and get back to you tomorrow. Just let me know ^^)
I'manoob! 5 years ago (edited)
I know you didn't reply back, but that's okay. Anyways, he said to just make sure you eat more protein and fat(the fat in like chicken and pork), and if you are wanting to gain a little bit of muscle then you should work out at least three times a week. And you don't have to do crazy workouts, just simple basic ones like push-ups, sit-ups, and squats. Also just remember that the results you want will take time and doing little stuff will go a long way. I hope this helps. If you have any questions, let me know :)
Load More Replies... 2763MilesAway 5 years ago
i doubt there's a medicine, but eating would certainly help. just don't over do it.
I love izuku midoriya (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you for the advice
Load More Replies... #66
i have terrible anxiety with needles. it's so bad i don't want a covid vaccine yet. heck, i get scared about the word shot or vaccine or needle. any tips?
Final score:
2points
Viviane 5 years ago
Try this: start by breathing slowly. Focus on your slow breath... once you're relaxed, imagine a needle, but it is across the room on a table and someone quickly takes it away and leaves. Try that a few times. Then next time you do the breathing exercise, imagine the person taking a little longer to take away the needle.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Okay, I'm usually good with vacs but I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEE getting my blood drawn HATEEEEEEEEEEEE. They literally had to hold me down last time so that I didn't walk out. I was kicking and screaming and crying like a toddler. I would say, get a distraction, something that you REALLY like. I looked at my baby sister and held her hand during my flu shot. Or if you have a favorite page in a book, or watch a favorite movie on your phone. What helps me is that, it ain't gonna kill me, I've done this before, they do it to babies and old people so i wont hurt/kill me. HOPE THIS HELPS!!!
marlene 5 years ago
when you're going to go get a vaccine don't think about the needle. think of it as maybe a fingernail poking you or something. i have plenty of experience with needles and shots, and the "pain" (if you could even call it that) lasts about a second. think of things that make you happy, comfort characters/people, favorites, etc. it will be okay, i promise you.
TheAnimalLady 5 years ago
Pinch an earlobe with the other hand. The nerves are engaged and short circuit the pain of the injection.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
If you have to go for a vaccine, definitely tell the nurse or doc that you're scared of needles. They're usually really nice about it and will go to extra effort to make you feel calm and comfortable. Try to take someone with you like a family member or a friend and if it's practically possible, have them hug you while you're getting the shot, or at least hold their hand and squeeze as tight as you need to.
the cool cat 5 years ago
poor you i feel so bad so here's a tip when i got my ears peirced i was told to hold my breath it takes your mind off of it so tell your doctor to ask you to hold your right before it soyou take your mind off of it
2763MilesAway (Submission author) 5 years ago
thanks, i'm glad someone actually cares. because if that, you get a new follower!
Load More Replies... 2763MilesAway (Submission author) 5 years ago
well, when i was younger, i once had to have my mom, a doctor, and a nurse hold me down so yeah.......
Load More Replies... #67
I have turned to self harm to feel numb.
Final score:
2points
I love izuku midoriya 5 years ago
Dont hurt yourself if you really feel upset I suggest calling a good friend and talk to them for a bit
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I have heard that lots of people find it really helpful to draw on themself. Pick up a pen instead of a sharp object and just doodle on your arm, or your leg, or wherever you want. Pictures or patterns or anything. Maybe look up some YouTube videos of beautiful Indian hennah designs and mandalas and try to recreate it on yourself in ink.
marlene 5 years ago
please don't hurt yourself. it's not the solution. i have struggled with self-harm before, but i eventually slowed to a stop and i believe that you will too. some alternatives that will give you a sensation of s/h could be placing ice on your hands, running your hands under cold water, snapping a rubber band across your wrist, clapping your hands until it stings, waxing your legs, drinking cold water, splashing your face with cold water, putting glue on your hand & peeling it off, etc. you are strong. you got this. good luck <3
Viviane 5 years ago
Strong emotions can be challenging. I sometime do this when I'm having a hard time: I describe the emotion while observing it. For example, one time, I thought I was going to start acting strange because of someone being a bitch to me. So in my head, I imagined that I was telling someone, "My mind is getting distorted." I also took deep breaths and went to cry quietly in a corner.
#68
My younger sisters are always together and I'm always left out. I'm the oldest, but it seems like they team up against me to say mean things. Also, how do you find out if someone likes you if you're too scared/shy/awkward to ask? How do you tell someone you like them? How do you ask for someone's number without making it weird or ruining the friendship if that's the best you can get?
Final score:
1point
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Here's my advice for the first question: Dude, you're the older sister, so own it! You probably had to change their diapers or something when they were babies, so they don't have the right to be mean to you.
Viviane 5 years ago
AFL - love it! I never thought of that. "I changed your diapers, so I'm really done with your s**t!"
Load More Replies... Viviane 5 years ago
For asking out a friend, here's one way to discuss it: "Some friendships are meant to be friendships and some are meant to become romances. What do you think of our friendship?"
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
for the number thing, just pretend to be looking around for someone (no one in particular) and then look at them with a relieved look on your face and look at your phone and say that you dont think ur phones working right, "Can I have ur number so I can call ur phone quick, mine isn't seeming to be able to call right" If they give it to you call it (and save the number) and say, oh yessss it works again! It wasnt working earlier i might have to get that checked. then text 'em later to say thanks, and nw you got it.
Viviane 5 years ago
For trying to get a phone number, you can chat with the person for a few minutes, then casually ask for their number. If you don't get their number, don't make a big deal of it. If the rejection is hard for you, give yourself a little time and space to recover. Years back, I used to try really hard to win men over, but it just annoyed them. When I started to accept that rejection happens to all of us, I found I could be friendly with them. It was a good idea. Two of them turned out to have friends who liked me -- one of them was my first long relationship and the other is my husband.
HufflepuffPanda 5 years ago
As for getting someone’s number, (really depends on age here) 1. If you are in school, ask them to play a video game and ask for their number to set it up. 2. If you are an adult, say that you are bored and need a friend (idk, I know nothing about being an adult)
K. 5 years ago
A radio station I was listening to last week: this is why the oldest is mean, they’re always taking care of everybody. Reclaim your rights!! Go on strike or get paid for taking care of them. Don’t sacrifice your childhood to become a third parent without any benefits. Hang out with your friends, your sisters are not your peers. Your relationships can evolve overtime, but for now even if they stopped being mean they’re still going to be closer.
Emilingo (strawberry seeds) 5 years ago
I'm the middle child and I have a similar problem. My siblings always leave me out. It's the worst.
#69
How do i know if my crush likes me back
Final score:
1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Take the chance. My crush did that. He asked me out I said idk and i came to my decision and few days later and said yes. Now we are dating. It worked out.
Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
You should ask, I've tried this before and It didn't work but it's better than just being an awkward "friend" to your crush
#70
How do I confess my feelings to a girl? I am thinking of telling her, but every time I come to it, I chicken out. what to do? (Advice preferably from girls)
Final score:
1point
Guy on the internet (Submission author) 5 years ago
Disclaimer: This is my single brother's question. I've been married for 5 years, lol 😉
Guy on the internet (Submission author) 5 years ago
(It's actually my anniversary!)
Load More Replies... Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Don't yet. First find something to say; 'Beautiful day' or 'I like you shirt', shoes, whatever... ' See how it goes, see if it's time for 'Want to go get coffee? -ice cream or whatever ..'
ShawtyCantComeToThePhone 5 years ago
(YOOOO im a girl) Tell her what you like about her! not just physical things. If you tell her why you like her and then ask her out, it will be a way for you to ease into it. and complimenting her will make her have a higher chance of liking you back. call her BEAUTIFUL, not hot!
Guy on the internet (Submission author) 5 years ago
UPDATE: My brother finally worked up the confidence! He asked this girl that he had been friends with that he liked if she would be his girlfriend, and she said yes!!! He says that he thanks each and every one of you for helping him. It really shines when we work together. Again, thank every one of you for your help! (PS: Thank you for all the Anniversary wishes! That was sweet of you all!)
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
We're so glad to help (sorry for speaking for y'all, Pandas, but since you commented I'm sure that was your intention). I'm happy that they're happy!
Load More Replies... the cool cat 5 years ago
i be a girl. so pull the girl away from other people use a cover up to avoid embarrassment partner project or something and confess i have had that happen to and i felt so special tell your brother to do this and i sure the girl will think more of him 😁(🦦 <-random otter)
Guy on the internet (Submission author) 5 years ago
I like the otter! Also, I will give an update very soon. Probably tommorow!
Load More Replies... Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
Uhm.. okay so I think I know an answer. You have to wait till you're comfortable with her, dropping in hints that you like her like girls do, then finally tell her. the important thing is be yourself, and I hope she feels the same!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago (edited)
Okay, he needs to approach her with confidence (but not like creepy im better than everyone here type of confidence) and tell her how he feels. Also lemme tell ya, most girls like guys that look all hard and nice and tough, but on the inside are the sensitive puppy lover type. As for first dates, take her to a nice place. Not necessarily a super expensive restaurant, but maybe go to a sit down restaurant. Also, ask her what she likes to eat or do (it doesn't have to be a restaurant). But don't make the conversation last too long if you can tell she's getting uncomfortable. As for first kiss, idk, i aint old enough for that yet, but id say, wait until shes comfy around you, and dont just go for it, wait until she maybe leans into you. Hope this helps!
Rachel Whitehall 5 years ago
The worst that can happen is she says she's not interested. But the best that can happen is she says she is. You can do it. Believe in yourself and go for it. Good luck, and update please?
#71
I want to come out as gay to my family (besides my mom and dad, they already know). I love them, and don't like hiding things from them. But, I have no idea how they'll react. On the one hand, I know they love me, but on the other hand, I don't know how open-minded they are. I don't know how they'll react. If they react like my parents did,, I'll be grateful, but our family is a Christian family, and I don't really know their opinion on gay people
Final score:
1point
Viviane 5 years ago
You have your parents on your side. Can you have them with you when you come out? Their presence could give extra weight to your words and it'll let other family members know that of they disapprove of you being gay, they'll also have to deal with your parents.
Viviane 5 years ago
Come out the way that feels most comfortable for you. I know people who came out to specific family members with whom they felt totally at ease, then had those family members tell other family members with whom they felt less comfortable.
Load More Replies... Rachel Whitehall 5 years ago
Not all Christians are against the lgbtq community. I'm part of a global group of parents of faith with lgbtq children. There's 1000s of us. Be brave and be you.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I know it must be really hard, but the most important (and wonderful) things is that you have your parents' love and acceptance... other family members matter just a little bit less, right?😋 The fact that your parents reacted well and are supportive will most likely make it a bit easier for the rest of your family to accept. Good luck! ❤
#72
Known I was bi for a bit now, told a friend, but idk how to tell my parents, any advice would be helpful.
Final score:
1point
Bisexual bean 5 years ago
I am bi too and i had the same issue. I wish i had told them. they found my trevorspace account and confronted me. I hated it because i had no choice. you still have that choice. tell them
Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago
My parents did something similar. I texted my best friend about it, and when they read my texts, they found out. They were supportive, but the HUGE invasion of my privacy just wasn't how I wanted it to go
Load More Replies... dandelion moon 5 years ago
Depends. If your parents are really religious or have made negative comments about the lgbtq community, I would hold off on that for a while. But if they seem pretty chill about it and you think that they're pretty accepting, I would try to casually throw in something about lgbtq in a conversation, like the rainbow house next to the Westboro Baptist Church or something funny that happened at a pride march somewhere. Idk, just say something about lgbtq to get their opinions so you know your best route. Hope that helps :)
marlene 5 years ago
i don't plan on coming out to my parents until i leave for college (that's the plan atm) and i was thinking maybe making a cake with "I'M BI !!" on it for them to find <3 ofc, personal preference. you could tell them straight up, come up with creative ways, etc. ur valid. best of luck to you !!
Imtiredandiwannagotobed (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ooh, my mom tells me to “come out” when she needs me outside, I’ll try to just say “mom, I’m bi” when she says that ;)
Load More Replies... Alyssa Linder 5 years ago
you should make sure that they are having a good day, or in a good mood so they'll actually think and be more open to it. It's not the best to catch them while they're in a bad mood
Imtiredandiwannagotobed (Submission author) 5 years ago
Noted, thank you.
Load More Replies... ducks=me 5 years ago
if your parents are okay with the lgbqt+ community then just go for it [:
Imtiredandiwannagotobed (Submission author) 5 years ago
Yeah, I’m not sure if they are, but I’ll try your advice if I find out, thank you!
Load More Replies... #73
I never believed in god. My direct family does. They aren't necessarily mean or strict about it but I don't know how to tell them.
Final score:
1point
Viviane 5 years ago
One approach is to say that you don't believe in God, but you have no problem with people being religious and you totally respect their views. You can then decide on how to compromise. My husband attends religious services (online now because of the pandemic), I don't, except a few times a year.
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Yes this is a really good point. A lot of people assume that if you're not religious, you'll judge them for being religious, or ridicule them or whatever. It's a good idea to reassure them that that's not the case
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
I'm in exactly the same situation. Tbh, I've just never told them. It's an argument I don't feel like having. If I really have to I kind of pretend for a bit. Like yes, Christmas, birth of Jesus, it's very wonderful. But for the most part I just avoid the topic.
#74
Why is there so much hate? People say they want equality, like how women say they want to be equal to men, but they won't believe that girls can be just as toxic as boys, why is this? Sorry, Its just this has been a problem I have been trying to solve..
Final score:
1point
dandelion moon 5 years ago
Some women are just crazy and they take it too far. I don't know why, but I wish I did. As long as you're nice to people, and people are nice to you, that's all that matters. Don't give the crazy ones any of your attention.
Viviane 5 years ago
I had a discussion with a nephew. I'm a technician/designer (putting together online courses), he's a social worker. He finds his female colleagues judgmental to each other, while mine are not. We thought of reasons why the difference. His colleagues are in a more traditionally "female" sector, deal with feelings, and may have a hard time expressing anger or annoyance, so it comes out as putting down the other person. Technicians and designers deal more with whether or not something works. If the website doesn't work, it has little to do with personality and more to do with skill.
Alyssa Linder (Submission author) 5 years ago (edited)
Just saying, I am a girl who dislikes the level of toxicity that radical feminists have, men are just as important as females! I didn't think that I'd have to say that but feminists believe we are "EQUAL"(all the hate towards men though, I think they are trying to say that they're better) Guys out there are just like girls minus a few things, they have feelings and matter as much as we do!
Potato 5 years ago (edited)
I hate how the true feminism community (the ones who truly believe in equality) gets branded because of those who put women on this high pedestal.
Load More Replies...
#75
The Chicago Bulls can't get a top pick and continually have been bad for like the last 15 years.
Final score:
0points
Average Grizzlies Fan (Submission author) 5 years ago
Before you say I'm a Bulls hater, they are my 2nd favorite team (behind the Grizzlies)
LegendYak 5 years ago
Well serves them right for beating the Jazz in the finals when Michael Jordan was on their team
Average Grizzlies Fan (Submission author) 5 years ago
How does that serve them right? They were just a good team that drafted well.
Load More Replies... #76
I have this crush. She is super kind, pretty and she seems like the perfect person for me. Problem is shes straight and taken. But I have seen her boyfriend around other girls. Recently we have been growing apart, and me and her bf HATE EACH OTHER. so, if she doesnt believe me, or he lies, and btw she knows i like her, or she pulls the jealous card, what do i do?
Final score:
0points
Neva Nevičica 5 years ago
Stay away from people who pull 'jealous cards' and stuff. For your own good. She knows you like her...and that's pretty much all you can do. Don't interfere in othe peoples relationships, it always ends up bad.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
You do nothing. The girl is straight, you want to have a relationship with her. The best you can hope for is that you're grossing her out. Trying to break up her relationship with the boy will backfire and you'll lose every bit of respect, not only from your crush but also from alot of mutual friends.
I'manoob! 5 years ago (edited)
Honestly I wouldn't do anything since that could ruin more than just your friendship. However if that ever happens, I'd say...STAND YOUR GROUND!! SHOW HER THE LOVE SHE DESERVES!! hahah I'm cringy AF! no but seriously, if you're absolutely certain things are getting out of hand where it's just utterly ridiculous, then you could take photo or video proof of it.
#77
I wanted to re-join the amish community, which I left about a decade ago. I know this is complicated, but do you have any advice or tips on what to do? I have small children who haven't experienced what it is like.
Final score:
0points
Viviane 5 years ago
My questions here: What draws you back to the Amish community? Is it something that you can only get in the Amish community? What will it be like for your children? Is there a spouse that you would have to consult about this? What are your dreams for your children? Has there been changes in the Amish community since you left? I would look at the pros and cons for all affected, see what compromises might be needed. One of my sisters moved close to my parents -- it was a mix in that they were still difficult parents, but very good grandparents to her children.
#78
Many people in my friend group have problems at home and are very stressed. My life is not perfect either. But whenever something bad happens to my friends, we all work through it together and take them to the school social worker and try to make their life more bearable. But I try not to bring my own problems up, because I feel like I put pressure on my friends. My life is stressful, but not stressful enough to be the main focus of my friends. Plus, my friends read boredpanda too. They are probably checking the name right now and I feel terrible for putting this out there where they can see it and feel bad.
Final score:
0points
Kat 5 years ago
Helping a friend with a problem doesn't have to be an increase of your own stress and problems... It can actually make you feel better about yourself too... Don't decide in their behalf on how to feel and if they can help or not. It sounds like you have something strong going on. Keep it strong by sharing. Don't pull away .
K. 5 years ago
Take a whole day to yourself every now and then, and just pamper yourself. You’re allowed to ask for support, even if you think your problems are smaller in scope. Maybe they can solve it faster. From the way you presented your post, I have a feeling you have a decent head on your shoulders and heart. Give them a chance to see you and be there for you. I told myself those things for so many years... please, if they care they’ll understand that you’re not erasing nor invalidating their issues by talking about yours and asking for support too. Don’t get used to this behavior.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
From one of my fave books (warcross) (also i cant quote it exactly but...) Hammie basically said that not telling your friends stuff is being a bad friend because you are telling them that you don't need them and they might see it as you think you are better than them. (Can somebody help me with this?) I know you are trying to be a good friend but thats what friends are for. Tell them. If they legitimately dont wanna help you, than no biggie, but i reckon they will.
#79
i know this is not as serious as the others but how do i say no to someone asking me to be a girlfriend to them?!?!?!?! he gave me a few days but i need a little bit of help
Final score:
0points
marlene 5 years ago
just be honest. forcing yourself into a relationship with someone you don't like is torture and NOT worth it. just tell him something like, "i like you, but not like that. we can be friends but a relationship is not something i think i'm ready for" or something like that. good luck !!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Answer the following questions: Is he nice? 1) yes 2) no; Does he respect you and your friends and family? 1) yes 2) no; Is he kind to others? 1) yes 2) no; Do YOU like him? 1) yes 2) no; Would you consider dating him for a while or getting more serious? 1) yes 2) no......... If you answered all yes, then I -a stranger- give you permission to date him and would recommend, but totally your choice. Another question you may want to take into consideration: Does he own any cute animals (puppy, kitty, goldfish, turtle, hamster, etc.)? 1) yes 2) no
#80
i'm failing health class and my mother doesn't seem to accept me for who i am 🏳️🌈 if you know what i mean.
Final score:
0points
#81
Ok try to solve this for me pls: I am polyamorous so I prefer to date more than one person but it’s not cheating because it’s like a threesome or foursome, but anyways my current girlfriend is not polyamorous and someone I like likes me back and I’ve tried ignoring my feelings before but they just came back and now I’m confused but I’m not going to cheat on my girlfriend because that is just messed up but I can’t reject the person I like because I won’t stop liking them I tried it and it did t work last time so we are in the exact same situation and I need help🥲
Final score:
0points
Viviane 5 years ago
It sounds as if you really don't want to hurt your girlfriend. I've had crushes on other people while being with a boyfriend. I would fantasize about the other person while having sex with my boyfriend. That kept me from cheating.
Viviane 5 years ago
On the other hand, I've seen people who love each other break up because the relationship was too hard to keep up. You might need to date people who are comfortable with an open relationship. By the way, my mother was like me: she had lots of crushes, but she was faithful to my father. She knew the crushes would go away and another crush would happen. For her and for me, affairs seemed like too much work and trouble.
Load More Replies... #82
Me and my friend got out of a toxic friendship a few years ago, but it damaged her more than me. She often asks me if she is being too clingy and annoying when she most definitely is not. We are best friends, but sometimes I feel like there is a sort of small barrier that was put between us, so we are not being completely honest ( idk if that is the right word ) or as close as we could be due to the toxic friendship. How do I take down these barriers so we can be more close?
Final score:
0points
Mr. Bean 5 years ago
Hi!! I think the most effective way to take down the awkward barrier is to sit her down and talk to her (probably have a zoom meeting now lol) about how you feel. Tell her that you want to be good friends but in order for that to happen, you have to let go of the past. She might feel as though you don't like having her around so to confirm that you enjoy having her around might make her more comfortable. Good luck!
MeepMorp5XG (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you! I'm gonna try this as soon as I can. :)
Load More Replies... MeepMorp5XG (Submission author) 5 years ago
P.S, I am 13 and am not good at wording things. I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. I can try again if anyone even cares about this post.
#83
why does school think its a good idea to cram science fair into a single quarter instead of just skipping it?
Final score:
0points
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Schools make bad decisions sometimes – I guess just like the rest of us. Remember they're probably also under pressure from parents, educational boards, politics... it's unfair to the students at the end of the day, but unfortunately there's not much you can do, right? Good luck with your science fair! 🤗
#84
I think I’m bisexual. This isn’t a problem, I’m just really confused... help?
Final score:
0points
Lord Mysticlaw 5 years ago
Like I kind of want to copy and paste a comment I already posted on a different question 😋 Dont stress about it, just go with whatever feels right and natural to you, you don't have to label yourself. Maybe you're bisexual or maybe you're pansexual or maybe whatever 🤷🏻♀️ Do what makes you happy ❤
BoredDragon (Submission author) 5 years ago
Oki I will do what makes me happy... browse bored panda all day.
Load More Replies... Rachel Whitehall 5 years ago
Do you find both men and women attractive and sexually appealing? If yes, then you're bisexual. There's lots of help out there if you need it. Good luck on your journey and be happy with whoever you love in the end.
Bisexual bean 5 years ago
Don't use labels yet. its a mistake to use labels because you cant go back on that.
BoredDragon (Submission author) 5 years ago
Also I love your profile pic! Did you draw it yourself?
Load More Replies... marlene 5 years ago
being confused is normal !! please don't stress it. self-acceptance and finding is tough. if you find men and women (note: it's not always only men and women. non-binary and ppl who don't use a gender label r also included in bisexuality :] ) attractive and like them romantically, ur probably bisexual. is that what you're mainly confused on ? also, don't feel pressured to put a label on ur sexuality. whoever you love is valid and so are you <3
#85
I’m trying to write an album, but none of my lyrics are sticking. I have all these ideas, lyrics that I think are awesome, but then when I go to write them down I forget them. I ended up writing a song about a gas station once because I had an awesome idea that had “serv-o” as ONE LYRIC but then it ended up engulfing the entire song. Anyone know of any creative exercises for songwriters?
Final score:
-1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago (edited)
Idk any of those, but i have an idea for a song. I tried it, but maybe you'll have better luck. It can be a song around the title "Think About You" and the line goes, "You might think I'm obsessed with you but I'm not, I just think about you a lot." I came up with it when I was just randomly improving while doing some homework, it sounded good to me, but Idk what it would sound like if not in english, since the line rhymes. Please give it some thought, and if anypanda comes up with anything good, can they tell me pls? I don't mean to be uptight or anything but I came up with it and I think it could actually be a great idea for a song. So I would wanna know. Thanks, and I hope I helped. (Also I wish you luck). (Alllso, do y'all think its a good idea?)
Harløw-Banditø (Submission author) 5 years ago
I think it’s a really cute rhyme!
Load More Replies... Harløw-Banditø (Submission author) 5 years ago
The way I phrased my battle with the gas station song seemed a bit rude. I am not opposed to the idea of a serv-o song. I just didn’t want that song to be about a gas station. I hope that makes sense.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
yes, that you are open to a song about a gas station, but you were hoping for that particular song to have a different purpose?
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
Lol whenever I try to write a song I always record myself to remember what I have in mind, and later I build off of that. Then I find another person I know who’s into music, songwriting, and/or poetry, and we brain storm the lyrics or revise. Goodluck with ur album!
François Carré 5 years ago
Maybe work on the music first, listen to some tunes you like, and lyrics will start coming back to your mind and finding their right place according to the music.
marlene 5 years ago
first of all, good luck !! i hope you make it :D i suggest carrying around a little notepad to write down lyrics when they come to your mind in the middle of nowhere or use the notes app on your phone. you could google "things to write songs about" or maybe blindly point at a word in a book and write the song about that ?? LMFAO i have no clue but again, good luck !!
#86
20 random cards are placed in a neat row, all faced down. A move consists of two steps: Turning only a face-down card face up, and then turning over the card immediately and keeping it on the right side. Show that no matter what the choice of cards, the sequence must terminate.
Final score:
-1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
You should make an ask pandas post to ask about a hard (but solvable) puzzle or riddle. That would be fun. I would do it but I dont have time right now and will probably forget. Can someone pls do this? thanks :)
Argie Smith 5 years ago (edited)
Start flipping the cards from the right to the left; eventually you have turned over all available cards
Kanrry Kang (Submission author) 5 years ago
It's from a movie, relax. I already know the answer, I just wanted to see if anyone would be up for it.
Load More Replies... 
What do you think ?
marlene 5 years ago
true, but not everyone does or wants to bother, or just prefers boredpanda, yk ? :D
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
ANSWER TO NUMBER 23 HERE: I’m an older sibling to, and it definitely hurts to be left out or targeted. See if you can make peace? Spend a day together, whether it’s at home or outside. Teach them something new. It’ll be hard, but give it a try. Also: when asking for someone’s number, stay very calm, even laugh or grin a little when you say “hey, can I have your number?” If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, say you understand and don’t think about it or bring it up later. Take baby steps when telling someone you like them, once again, keep it calm. Best of luck!
Alan R Fraser 5 years ago
I have a "not so burning" question! Where did the expression "Up the Bruce" come from? Somehow I think that it has a Scottish background. Can I get some replies and maybe where to get more information?
marlene 5 years ago
true, but not everyone does or wants to bother, or just prefers boredpanda, yk ? :D
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 5 years ago
ANSWER TO NUMBER 23 HERE: I’m an older sibling to, and it definitely hurts to be left out or targeted. See if you can make peace? Spend a day together, whether it’s at home or outside. Teach them something new. It’ll be hard, but give it a try. Also: when asking for someone’s number, stay very calm, even laugh or grin a little when you say “hey, can I have your number?” If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, say you understand and don’t think about it or bring it up later. Take baby steps when telling someone you like them, once again, keep it calm. Best of luck!
Alan R Fraser 5 years ago
I have a "not so burning" question! Where did the expression "Up the Bruce" come from? Somehow I think that it has a Scottish background. Can I get some replies and maybe where to get more information?
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