Guy Afraid To Ask Out A Trans Girl Because Of What People Might Think, Asks Internet For Advice – It Delivers
There’s no thing sweeter and more innocent than the first love. The initial lightness inside the stomach as butterflies start dancing at the sight of your crush, the fluttering in your heart at the thought of asking them out, and the shy glances once they show up, all compare to no other feeling in the world. But as exciting as those experiences are, they can also be scary as the shadow of rejection looms above. One 17-year-old, overwhelmed by his feelings for a transgender girl, decided to ask Reddit’s advice on the subject. People’s responses, as well as the guy’s own replies are some of the most wholesome content on the internet. So scroll down below to read the full exchange and don’t forget to tell us what you think! (Facebook cover image: istockphoto | yoh4nn)
Image credits: yoh4nn (not the actual photo)
A young sought relationship advice from people online as he had a crush on a trans girl
People quickly responded with their own advice, and the original poster replied to their suggestions
His final comment suggests that he gathered the courage to ask her out and we can only hope it went beautifully
The response to the guy’s confession was positive…
With American actress and LGBT advocate Laverne Cox advising the young man to pursue his feelings
447Kviews
Share on FacebookI would love to know how this story turns out. I hope these kids make a lovely relationship for themselves and I also hope that their joy and affection and honesty will open the eyes of all the people around them, adults and kids, and wash away the fear and bigotry. Good luck to these lovely young people.
Hard luck. The Reddit account has gone silent, and the original post has been removed. I don't think we'll be hearing back... unless something really good, or bad happens. Hopefully everything went well, and they can get on with their lives.
Load More Replies...He sounds so in love, I could feel it gushing out of my computer screen and enveloping me. It's so pure, how much he wants to make her happy. Ugh, my heart is melting.
Load More Replies...OMG ask her out!!! And give your little brother a huge hug!! What a lovely person <3
I think middle school brother is more mature than big sister.
Load More Replies...My step son, who identifies as male/gay, asked me yesterday if having feelings for a girl made him straight. I told him that it was possible that he was bi, but that that wasn't the important thing. What was important was whether or not he liked the person for who they were. I said everyone has physical aspects they like, hair color, body type, gender, etc., but what makes good relationships is attraction to the mind inside the body. If the only reason you date someone is because they fit your physical type, that relationship will never be anything more than f-ck buddies. If the mind you like happens to be housed in a body that aligns with your type, bonus! If the mind you like doesn't hit all or any of the physical buttons - oh well. It's better to date someone that you can talk to, laugh with, debate with, share dreams and interests with, than to date someone where the only thing you have in common is sex. He said he'd never thought of it that way.
You gave some amazing advice to your step son :) I couldn't have said it better myself.
Load More Replies...Sadly, just googled the story and haven't found anything more about this story. Just that his story and his reddit account were made the same day, and after that... nothing, besides some questions and answers that same day. What do you think is the reason for this? I don't know what to think.
Yeah, not being judgemental but this just doesn't ring true. Big, long post eight months ago and then nothing.
Load More Replies...The way this is written, I have serious doubts it was written by a 17 year old.
I don't know, for me it just sounds like a perfect description of a true, pure, first romantic love. What you mean probably is "this is too beautiful to be true", eh ?
Load More Replies...I love reading this kind of stuff. My spouse is trans and was so terrified to come out to me as such that they thought the relationship would end if I found out as I identify as gay. I was fine with it. So what, ya know? We got married and have been for over two years now, together for 8. Love is love, in any form and I'm happy with the person I am with, more so than ever before... it just so happens that person identifies as a woman trapped in a man's body. It happens. And with that, we are working our way at fulfilling their desires to transition to eh degree they want; I'm happy with their body no matter what; I love them. So I'm happy this sort of thing exists outside of my little bubble :)
you should be with the person you love. everyone else doesn't and shouldn't matter.
I really hope he got the courage to ask her out. If people don't like the idea of trans people then they aren't worth thinking about.
Here's my two cents worth. Oh, it doesn't matter. It ain't my business. But best of luck
This story is beautiful. There will never be a moment in my life when I believe transphobes deserve to live. You making someone else life miserable is not a "personal opinion or belief".
This is really touching, especially since I'm in a somewhat similiar situation.
Live your life for yourself. No one else. Not any bully, so-called friend, etc. It's your life. Do with it as you please. Yes, there will be hard decisions along the way, that is the way life is. Make your choice and deal with it, good or bad. Those bullies and so-called friends, are just that .... bullies and NOT friends. High school is tough and it comes at a terrible time in our life ... we are kids but not adults, but yet we are called on to make adult type decisions. Peer pressure is at its worst. You are just getting to know who you are, much less anyone else. Tough row to hoe. But keep in mind, you will get past high school. It will be in the past. Those people you know now, won't even be memories later on in life if they are not true friends. Why give one moment of thought to someone who will not exist in your memory in just a short time? Live YOUR life. Don't let anyone else try to run YOUR life. Seek the truth. Be the truth. Live your truth.
Go for it dude, you do you ! Don't worry about backlash. In a few years, you won't be anything more than a footnote (if that), in most of your schoolmates memory. Not worth losing out for that. Friends will stick around no matter what. Go!
I personally think that love is blind. So if he is attracted to her he should ask her out. They text. They talk. They have worked together in a class. They are friends already. No harm in hanging out. Do that. Then do it again. Hang out. If you feel that the next step after that is giving her flowers...do it. Physically ask if you want to hold her hand. "Would it bother you if I held your hand?" She might say no. But asking is polite. Remember she is new at being a girl too. Like any teenage girl she probably questions herself non stop on her looks (An more so now than most girls). Being friends with someone sometimes means more than being boyfriend and girlfriend. But regardless what happens it's between you both and not guys in the locker room or anyone else to judge. Just be kind. No need to worry about being gay. You're attracted to her now. Regardless if she was still a boy and never became a girl, that is who your heart feels for.
People are people, so why should it be...why should they/we be So treated differently . Love,to them and best wishes.
So cute, I love how she basically spells it out for him that she's interested but he still doesn't see it.
The best advice in the whole collection of good advice...in 20 years do you want to say that you stood up to those bullies and asked her out or do you want to think about the opportunity you let get away....solid!
Good grief!! This better have an update because a LOT of people are desperate to find out what happened!
I wish younger people could get over the social pressure they experience. I experienced it too when I was in school. Now that I'm much older, I realize that the older one gets, the less you have to worry about social stigmas. As you age, you learn to just not GAF as to what people think about you or what you are doing. It's like a big release, to learn to not GAF. As long as you know you are a good person, honest, respectful, and always trying to do the right thing, learning to let go and not GAF is a blessing. As you age, you realize that it's not worth your precious time to be worried about other peoples' opinions. Live you life!
There is a french saying I'll try to translate : "If only youth knew, if only elderly could !" ... Meaning that youth is wasted on the young, lol !
Load More Replies...He sounds in love, but he sounds worried about his friends´ opinion. He has to make sure he really wants to be with her and face what people would say. If not... she will be better on her own.
What a pure, decent, loving soul this young man has. I wish them all the luck (and love) in the world <3
What happened next?? I just want to know did he asked her? Did she said yes? Are the dating? Did he gave her rainbow roses? OMG ....So mant unanswered questions.....
I think the guy needs to invest a bit more time before going bazookas. Just hold your horses and try your best to know her likes and dislikes (if not already) and more. Since the girl's feeling appreciated right now, she might tend to making hasty decisions and the same applies to the guy who seems quite excited about it. I'm positive it's not just about sex. Talk to yourself in a mirror and try to picture a long life (which I wish for both of you love birds) with that pretty lady of yours. You'll be amazed by the outcome. I'm sure God will guide and lead both of into loving each other for the rest of your lives..
I don't think he should worry about society dismissing him, or to being ridiculed, and he should certainly should not worry that she might physically not yet be completely female. Love is beautiful at that age because it's sweet, romantic and innocent. It's all about love, who cares what others say, or what she might look like under clothes (you are only 17!). Only thing important should be does she likes him in the same way. And if this relationship lasts beyond teenage years they will be both lucky because such love is so rare. If I would find someone I would like and love so much and that person also likes me, I would not care at all if that person is in any way unconventional in looks or any other way. because finding your soul mate and love is so rare.
I love that he's trying. I would loves to see an update. His little brother is wise beyond his age. What distressed me was how he said his teachers still use her "dead name"...that's what that is called and her father is being a prick. I agree with one response of; don't date her if you're ashamed to be with her. Don't do her any favors, ya know? I hope this kid can muster the guts to be with her proudly.
And for the record, her messing with his hair and touching him more in art class..yeah..she'd totally into you dude! Don't hesitate. I agree with the physical aspect of it. That should be a topic of discussion a few dates into the relationship to make sure everyone is on the same page. If you can overcome that hurdle, I'd say you've found yourself quite the girl!
The story is pretty adorable and I hope it's true, but if we're going to move past the stupid gender stuff of the past, how about the "girl" asking the "boy" out some times? And how about both getting each other flowers? Don't fall into the same dumb gender roles of the past. Do something better.
Oh no hun, you're the one that's f****d. You can't even seem to accept the fact that a straight guy can like a trans woman. Why? Because she's still a woman.
Load More Replies...wow. thank you for that extremely valid information.
Load More Replies...It makes my heart sink a little that you would be more concerned with your wants for your child's future than for their happiness
Load More Replies...I'm sorry you feel that way in your little, sad world. Here, have a flower.
Load More Replies...I wonder if you know that this comment makes you stupid
Load More Replies...Well, I don't think he's attracted to her biological sex, but what she identifies as. And I know you're just gonna whip some random pseudo-scientific fact or a bible verse out to argue at me, so just don't.
Load More Replies...I would love to know how this story turns out. I hope these kids make a lovely relationship for themselves and I also hope that their joy and affection and honesty will open the eyes of all the people around them, adults and kids, and wash away the fear and bigotry. Good luck to these lovely young people.
Hard luck. The Reddit account has gone silent, and the original post has been removed. I don't think we'll be hearing back... unless something really good, or bad happens. Hopefully everything went well, and they can get on with their lives.
Load More Replies...He sounds so in love, I could feel it gushing out of my computer screen and enveloping me. It's so pure, how much he wants to make her happy. Ugh, my heart is melting.
Load More Replies...OMG ask her out!!! And give your little brother a huge hug!! What a lovely person <3
I think middle school brother is more mature than big sister.
Load More Replies...My step son, who identifies as male/gay, asked me yesterday if having feelings for a girl made him straight. I told him that it was possible that he was bi, but that that wasn't the important thing. What was important was whether or not he liked the person for who they were. I said everyone has physical aspects they like, hair color, body type, gender, etc., but what makes good relationships is attraction to the mind inside the body. If the only reason you date someone is because they fit your physical type, that relationship will never be anything more than f-ck buddies. If the mind you like happens to be housed in a body that aligns with your type, bonus! If the mind you like doesn't hit all or any of the physical buttons - oh well. It's better to date someone that you can talk to, laugh with, debate with, share dreams and interests with, than to date someone where the only thing you have in common is sex. He said he'd never thought of it that way.
You gave some amazing advice to your step son :) I couldn't have said it better myself.
Load More Replies...Sadly, just googled the story and haven't found anything more about this story. Just that his story and his reddit account were made the same day, and after that... nothing, besides some questions and answers that same day. What do you think is the reason for this? I don't know what to think.
Yeah, not being judgemental but this just doesn't ring true. Big, long post eight months ago and then nothing.
Load More Replies...The way this is written, I have serious doubts it was written by a 17 year old.
I don't know, for me it just sounds like a perfect description of a true, pure, first romantic love. What you mean probably is "this is too beautiful to be true", eh ?
Load More Replies...I love reading this kind of stuff. My spouse is trans and was so terrified to come out to me as such that they thought the relationship would end if I found out as I identify as gay. I was fine with it. So what, ya know? We got married and have been for over two years now, together for 8. Love is love, in any form and I'm happy with the person I am with, more so than ever before... it just so happens that person identifies as a woman trapped in a man's body. It happens. And with that, we are working our way at fulfilling their desires to transition to eh degree they want; I'm happy with their body no matter what; I love them. So I'm happy this sort of thing exists outside of my little bubble :)
you should be with the person you love. everyone else doesn't and shouldn't matter.
I really hope he got the courage to ask her out. If people don't like the idea of trans people then they aren't worth thinking about.
Here's my two cents worth. Oh, it doesn't matter. It ain't my business. But best of luck
This story is beautiful. There will never be a moment in my life when I believe transphobes deserve to live. You making someone else life miserable is not a "personal opinion or belief".
This is really touching, especially since I'm in a somewhat similiar situation.
Live your life for yourself. No one else. Not any bully, so-called friend, etc. It's your life. Do with it as you please. Yes, there will be hard decisions along the way, that is the way life is. Make your choice and deal with it, good or bad. Those bullies and so-called friends, are just that .... bullies and NOT friends. High school is tough and it comes at a terrible time in our life ... we are kids but not adults, but yet we are called on to make adult type decisions. Peer pressure is at its worst. You are just getting to know who you are, much less anyone else. Tough row to hoe. But keep in mind, you will get past high school. It will be in the past. Those people you know now, won't even be memories later on in life if they are not true friends. Why give one moment of thought to someone who will not exist in your memory in just a short time? Live YOUR life. Don't let anyone else try to run YOUR life. Seek the truth. Be the truth. Live your truth.
Go for it dude, you do you ! Don't worry about backlash. In a few years, you won't be anything more than a footnote (if that), in most of your schoolmates memory. Not worth losing out for that. Friends will stick around no matter what. Go!
I personally think that love is blind. So if he is attracted to her he should ask her out. They text. They talk. They have worked together in a class. They are friends already. No harm in hanging out. Do that. Then do it again. Hang out. If you feel that the next step after that is giving her flowers...do it. Physically ask if you want to hold her hand. "Would it bother you if I held your hand?" She might say no. But asking is polite. Remember she is new at being a girl too. Like any teenage girl she probably questions herself non stop on her looks (An more so now than most girls). Being friends with someone sometimes means more than being boyfriend and girlfriend. But regardless what happens it's between you both and not guys in the locker room or anyone else to judge. Just be kind. No need to worry about being gay. You're attracted to her now. Regardless if she was still a boy and never became a girl, that is who your heart feels for.
People are people, so why should it be...why should they/we be So treated differently . Love,to them and best wishes.
So cute, I love how she basically spells it out for him that she's interested but he still doesn't see it.
The best advice in the whole collection of good advice...in 20 years do you want to say that you stood up to those bullies and asked her out or do you want to think about the opportunity you let get away....solid!
Good grief!! This better have an update because a LOT of people are desperate to find out what happened!
I wish younger people could get over the social pressure they experience. I experienced it too when I was in school. Now that I'm much older, I realize that the older one gets, the less you have to worry about social stigmas. As you age, you learn to just not GAF as to what people think about you or what you are doing. It's like a big release, to learn to not GAF. As long as you know you are a good person, honest, respectful, and always trying to do the right thing, learning to let go and not GAF is a blessing. As you age, you realize that it's not worth your precious time to be worried about other peoples' opinions. Live you life!
There is a french saying I'll try to translate : "If only youth knew, if only elderly could !" ... Meaning that youth is wasted on the young, lol !
Load More Replies...He sounds in love, but he sounds worried about his friends´ opinion. He has to make sure he really wants to be with her and face what people would say. If not... she will be better on her own.
What a pure, decent, loving soul this young man has. I wish them all the luck (and love) in the world <3
What happened next?? I just want to know did he asked her? Did she said yes? Are the dating? Did he gave her rainbow roses? OMG ....So mant unanswered questions.....
I think the guy needs to invest a bit more time before going bazookas. Just hold your horses and try your best to know her likes and dislikes (if not already) and more. Since the girl's feeling appreciated right now, she might tend to making hasty decisions and the same applies to the guy who seems quite excited about it. I'm positive it's not just about sex. Talk to yourself in a mirror and try to picture a long life (which I wish for both of you love birds) with that pretty lady of yours. You'll be amazed by the outcome. I'm sure God will guide and lead both of into loving each other for the rest of your lives..
I don't think he should worry about society dismissing him, or to being ridiculed, and he should certainly should not worry that she might physically not yet be completely female. Love is beautiful at that age because it's sweet, romantic and innocent. It's all about love, who cares what others say, or what she might look like under clothes (you are only 17!). Only thing important should be does she likes him in the same way. And if this relationship lasts beyond teenage years they will be both lucky because such love is so rare. If I would find someone I would like and love so much and that person also likes me, I would not care at all if that person is in any way unconventional in looks or any other way. because finding your soul mate and love is so rare.
I love that he's trying. I would loves to see an update. His little brother is wise beyond his age. What distressed me was how he said his teachers still use her "dead name"...that's what that is called and her father is being a prick. I agree with one response of; don't date her if you're ashamed to be with her. Don't do her any favors, ya know? I hope this kid can muster the guts to be with her proudly.
And for the record, her messing with his hair and touching him more in art class..yeah..she'd totally into you dude! Don't hesitate. I agree with the physical aspect of it. That should be a topic of discussion a few dates into the relationship to make sure everyone is on the same page. If you can overcome that hurdle, I'd say you've found yourself quite the girl!
The story is pretty adorable and I hope it's true, but if we're going to move past the stupid gender stuff of the past, how about the "girl" asking the "boy" out some times? And how about both getting each other flowers? Don't fall into the same dumb gender roles of the past. Do something better.
Oh no hun, you're the one that's f****d. You can't even seem to accept the fact that a straight guy can like a trans woman. Why? Because she's still a woman.
Load More Replies...wow. thank you for that extremely valid information.
Load More Replies...It makes my heart sink a little that you would be more concerned with your wants for your child's future than for their happiness
Load More Replies...I'm sorry you feel that way in your little, sad world. Here, have a flower.
Load More Replies...I wonder if you know that this comment makes you stupid
Load More Replies...Well, I don't think he's attracted to her biological sex, but what she identifies as. And I know you're just gonna whip some random pseudo-scientific fact or a bible verse out to argue at me, so just don't.
Load More Replies...
245
122