"That's A You Problem": Internet Gives BF A Reality Check For Calling Out His Rich Girlfriend
Money and dating is a controversial topic. For some, wealth gaps in relationships can even be dealbreakers. According to one Australian survey, 66% of people would be bothered if their partner was earning less money than them. And 34% wouldn’t like it if their partner earned significantly more than them.
This guy was dating a woman from a well-off family and let his insecurities get the best of him. One day, he confronted her and called her out for being “too spoiled” and “lazy” for not cooking her own food, not cleaning her house, and for her general perspective on life. When he asked the internet whether that was out of line, he got a response he didn’t expect.
A guy was dating a woman from a rich family and didn’t like her attitude toward life
Image credits: Minh Tran / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He felt she was too spoiled and relied on others too much, and outright told her that
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Aromatic-Bite-3641
Image credits: Candice Picard / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Research shows that people are more likely to date someone richer than them than vice versa
Does money really play such a huge role in dating? It’s a question that’s hard to answer. In an ideal world, love would be enough to fight people’s insecurities, past traumas, and differing worldviews. But reality is much more complicated than that.
Some people may feel uncomfortable dating someone outside of their economic bracket; others – not so much. According to a survey by the credit-building platform Self, 55.4% of people would be fine dating someone who earns significantly less than them.
At the same time, a date’s or partner’s financial situation has a big impact on their dating preferences. 53% of the respondents thought that dating apps should come with an income range filter. Essentially, a lot of adults would like to know a person’s financial situation before they go on a date or get in a relationship with them.
For many, this probably comes from experience. 49.3% of the Self survey respondents admitted they’ve felt ashamed of financial differences when they had to introduce their partner to friends or family. 53.6% said they’ve received negative comments from loved ones about their partner’s financial situation.
So, it seems that money matters quite a lot when people look for suitable partners. When it comes to dating someone richer than you, people seem to be quite open to it. As one study of Irish 16-year-olds shows, those who are from underprivileged families are more likely to date outside of their economic bracket. Only 39% of those who come from well-off families were dating someone from a different financial background.
Image credits: Alexander Mils / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It’s rarely about money: being richer symbolizes having the power in the relationship
However, financial differences in a couple can often result in insecurities, jealousy, and, as was the case in this story, even breaking up. Income disparity in a relationship can complicate things quite a bit, even if both people in the couple are progressive thinkers.
As the relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter explains, it’s not the money itself but rather what it symbolizes. “Traditionally speaking, money equals power. And the one with the power is the one who controls the relationship.”
This can be especially evident when the woman is the one who earns more in a relationship. Traditional gender norms have us believe that a man is supposed to be the one with the power in the relationship. If money is power, he should be the higher earner.
“Women who are the higher earners often face a double standard; they’re expected to succeed, but not so much that it threatens traditional gender roles,” wealth psychologist Ronit Lami explained to Business Insider. “Men, on the other hand, are typically socialized to feel more comfortable being the financial provider.”
When that is not the case, jealousy and resentment can breed. Similarly, when the woman is the richer one in the relationship, she might also attempt to exert more power or at least feel like she has the right to.
So, what’s the solution? According to experts, these are the main four things to remember:
- Talk about what’s making you uncomfortable and why.
- Don’t blame your partner for having too much or too little money.
- Don’t judge: every person’s financial circumstances and goals are unique, as there is no one “right” way to manage finances.
- Compromise: budget in a way that works for both partners and set financial goals and expectations that both partners are on board with.
The guy got cooked in the comments: “So jealous you can’t see right”
The couple met later and the BF admitted he was being a jerk
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Aromatic-Bite-3641
People in the comments were pleasantly surprised: “Nice to see a poster actually self-reflect”
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Clearly YTA, but it seems you've learned from your mistakes which is great. We've all done stupid stuff, it's just a part of it all.
So you're saying that a wife ALWAYS has to be the only one who cooks and cleans? Since OP's gf would have "made a useless wife" according to you? We have no idea if the girlfriend knows how to "adult" or not.
Load More Replies...Clearly YTA, but it seems you've learned from your mistakes which is great. We've all done stupid stuff, it's just a part of it all.
So you're saying that a wife ALWAYS has to be the only one who cooks and cleans? Since OP's gf would have "made a useless wife" according to you? We have no idea if the girlfriend knows how to "adult" or not.
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