“My Boyfriend Won’t Talk To Me And Is Suggesting We Break Up After I Saw His Burn Scars”

Couples break up for many different reasons. The most common reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, incessant arguing, and infidelity. Sometimes, a partner’s insecurity might also drive a couple to break up, and not the jealousy kind.

This couple faced a crisis because of one partner’s insecurity about his body. Having suffered a fire in childhood, the guy was left with severe burn scars and had issues with people seeing his body. After his boyfriend accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom, he freaked out and immediately called for a breakup. Panicked, the boyfriend turned for help to the internet.

A man walked in on his boyfriend in the shower and saw the burn scars he had from childhood

A person with a yellow beanie covers their face with hands, wearing a winter jacket, in a dark, moody setting.

Image credits: felipepelaquim / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Freaked out, the boyfriend immediately jumped to the conclusion that the guy wanted to break up

Text discussing relationship issues after seeing boyfriend's burn scars and suggestion to break up.

Text on a white background discussing the visibility of a friend's burn scars after meeting during freshman year.

Text about a guy hiding his burn scars by wearing long clothes, highlighting his discomfort and sensitivity.

Close-up of a person showing burn scars on their torso and arm against a peach background.

Image credits:  Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text expressing confusion and support regarding a boyfriend's reaction to burn scars and accusations.

Text about a nurse's reaction upon seeing boyfriend's burn scars, feeling guilty and anxious about a mistake.

Text describing relationship challenges after moving in due to family issues.

Text about an intense argument involving yelling "GET OUT" and a breakup over burn scars.

Man with visible burn scars and distressed expression, wearing a gold hoop earring, possibly experiencing a breakup.

Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text recounting a breakup, with emotions and misunderstandings, involving burn scars and assumptions.

Text of a breakup message discussing relationship status, expressing heartbreak and confusion over burn scars.

A person with red hair looks distressed, covering their mouth in a shadowed setting, related to breakup assumption and burn scars.

Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Emotional plea about boyfriend fearing breakup over revealing burn scars.

Text recounting bullying due to burn scars; bully comments on "smell" when he enters a room, inciting laughter.

Young person sitting on the floor, hugging knees in distress, with two others nearby in a classroom.

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text discussing reactions to guy's burn scars, comparing them to Deadpool's skin, and family emphasizing inner beauty.

Text discussing a breakup due to burn scars, reflecting a past relationship's influence and seeking advice for resolution.

Image credits: ThrowRAGayRoommates

It’s completely normal and common for burn survivors to have body image issues

For people who haven’t experienced similar trauma, it might be difficult to understand the boyfriend’s behavior. But it’s common for someone with severe burn scars to have grave body image issues.

According to the Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC), around one-third of burn victims worry severely about the way their body looks, works, and feels after they’re first hospitalized.

The most common worries are about people staring, how they may react when they see their scars and anxiety about intimate scenarios. However, burn survivors also struggle with their body image internally. They may experience grief or sadness about the way they look, and, in some cases, their physical abilities before the accident.

When in social situations, many burn victims often freeze up or find it really uncomfortable when they have to explain how they got the scars. Some experts advise having an answer ready so it doesn’t take them by surprise.

It’s up to the person to decide how much they want to share. Saying something like “I was burned when I was younger, but fortunately I am back to doing all the activities I did before” can be enough if they don’t want to elaborate. However, some burn survivors claim that talking about their experiences helps them with emotional healing.

It’s also okay to not want to talk about it. Telling that to people or having sort of a catchphrase, a reminder to be kind, can also help. One possible catchphrase to tell others can be “Remember to be gracious.”

Man with eyes closed, showing burn scars on cheek, in a somber expression.

Image credits:  Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Experts advise burn survivors to engage in grooming rituals with their partners so they feel more comfortable

Physical intimacy can be one of the biggest challenges for burn survivors. When researchers from the University of West of England spoke with burn survivors about common worries, romantic relationships came up often.

Many worried that burn scars would be unattractive to potential partners. Yet, at the same time, almost all of the respondents found that it’s very rarely an issue for their significant others.

One survivor’s partner thought her burns made her “unique”, another said that the burns made her different from everyone else and “that’s cool”. Other partners suggested that romantic attraction is not just about looks. One partner, Gary, argued that “beauty is so much more than skin deep.”

The experts at MSKTC explain that grooming activities with their partners can help burn survivors feel more confident and comfortable in their bodies. Activities such as styling hair, showering, shaving, and painting nails can improve readjustments to body image.

Also, getting used to a partner having physical contact with the burned skin might help. “Moisturizing or massaging your scars can help both of you to overcome any hesitation or the ‘fear of rejection’,” according to MSKTC.

Getting help from a professional also shouldn’t be taboo. There just are some things we ourselves or our partners cannot fix alone. Leaning on community, mental health professionals, friends, or family members can help in overcoming body issues.

People in the comments guessed that the man might’ve had a bad experience with a previous partner and that’s why he offered to break up

A Reddit post giving advice on dealing with embarrassment and burn scars in a relationship.

Reddit discussion about breakup assumptions and scars. Text expresses concerns over relationship fears linked to self-esteem.

Text exchange discussing a boyfriend's reaction to seeing burn scars, mentioning therapy as a solution.

Reddit conversation discussing relationship issues after boyfriend reacts to burn scars.

Comment discussing reactions to scars and love perceptions.

Text advice on handling a boyfriend's reaction to burn scars, suggesting therapy and setting boundaries.

Text discussing trust issues and the potential breakup related to a guy with burn scars in a relationship.

Image showing text about bullying, insecurities, and burn scars, with references to being "beautiful on the inside.

Text discussing assumptions of breakup after boyfriend reacted to burn scars.

Text suggests therapy for dealing with boyfriend's burn scars, emphasizing trust-building and comfort.

Discussion on handling anxiety after a boyfriend sees burn scars, emphasizing reassurance and understanding in relationships.

Reddit discussion on boyfriend's reaction to burn scars, highlighting relationship advice and support strategies.

Comments discussing boyfriend's reaction to discovering burn scars and considering involving his dad for advice.

Discussion on relationship and breakup advice related to trauma and therapy needs.

Comment on relationship challenges with burn scars and insecurity issues.

Text discussing relationship challenges and assumptions about breakup due to scars, with a focus on therapy advice.

Discussion about burn scars and insecurities in a relationship, with advice on vulnerability for better self-esteem.

Reddit discussion about relationship issues due to a boyfriend seeing burn scars.

Text exchange about relationship challenges and scars, highlighting insecurities and misunderstandings in a same-s*x relationship.

Reddit comments about a reminder and update, discussing a boyfriend and breakup assumptions.

Comment wishing hopeful future with boyfriend; user responds with update, thanking for help.

Chat text exchange discussing a relationship, mentions fairy tale love story analogy.

Reddit comment offers advice on handling relationship issues after a boyfriend sees burn scars.

Advice on relationship issues concerning scars and communication boundaries.

Text excerpt discussing relationship issues due to burn scars, highlighting emotional impact and assumptions about breakup.

Text offering relationship advice on addressing issues involving burn scars and communication with a boyfriend.

Comment text reads, "He needs serious therapy," discussing breakup and burn scars.

Reddit comment discussing relationship trust issues and burn scars.

In a later update, the guy detailed how the couple worked it out, but the boyfriend still wasn’t open to individual therapy

Update on boyfriend's reaction to burn scars and helpful advice given, addressing therapy and acceptance.

Text conversation about handling scars in a relationship, expressing love and suggesting privacy improvements.

Boyfriend assumes breakup after partner sees his burn scars.

Text message about a boyfriend apologizing for discomfort over burn scars, expressing commitment to feeling at home.

Text discussion about relationship issues and insecurity after a boyfriend notices burn scars.

Text about a discussion of burn scars, addressing concerns about hiding scars and relationship acceptance.

Text about a couple discussing therapy and future, highlighting comfort over burn scars and relationship growth.

Text describing a plan for future after boyfriend sees burn scars, thanking for suggestions and support.

Image credits: ThrowRAGayRoommates

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