Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
40 Of The Most Savage Things God Has Said On Twitter (New Pics)
Have you ever stopped and wondered what God thinks of everything that’s going on in our world today? Well, if you have, you'll be glad to hear that The Almighty has a Twitter account. As of today, it has amassed more than 6.2M devoted fans while He Himself follows only one person on Earth—Justin Bieber.
The Tweet Of God is full of satirical jokes and razor-sharp humor that will hopefully brighten your day and help you let out a laugh or two. With the bio stating “Unverified; unverified”, the account is entertaining the internet with its hilariously witty tweets.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best posts God had to offer, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorite ones! Be sure to let us know what you think about them in the comment section below, and don’t forget to check out Part 1 of this post right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
#2
#3
Amy Pattie 4 years ago (edited)
The Bible literally talks about wearing a veil over your lower face when diseases. I don’t know where Christians find it discrimination when asked to wear one
The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles. He created the account in 2010 to promote his book, The Last Testament: A Memoir By God. Ironically, many people thought the book was actually a spin-off of the account since the latter took off so quickly.
Later on, he adapted both the book and the Twitter account into a play, An Act of God, which was performed on Broadway for two summers and then all over the world.
Javerbaum is always playing his part, saying that he’s in fact working with and for God as a social media manager. He explained why the account is only interested in one person, Justin Bieber: “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”
#6
Julie C Rose 4 years ago (edited)
God made Jacinda and Jacinda banned my anti vax ex hairdresser from operating. :)
If you’re trying to reach the comedy writer and have a little chat with The Almighty, don’t expect too much. He Himself posts a lot and sometimes even re-tweets with a snappy comment but does not participate much in conversations. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” Javerbaum said.
Even though The Tweet of God has many followers and is viewed as “the universe’s most popular unverified Twitter account”, it also went through some bad times. The account got hacked several years ago, which made Javerbaum quit for a year and a half.
Also, Twitter suspended the account twice. One time, he used their blue badge in the background picture without their permission. “And that was just a purely legalistic suspension,” the founder of the account told The Last Laugh. “I was trying to imply that I was verified.”
#7
#9
The second time was in June 2019. “If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied upon for anything,” the tweet stated. Twitter mistakenly thought of it as anti-gay. “So they got that one wrong and they realized it and I got back on,” the writer explained. “I let them know that their sense of irony had some deficiencies that ought to be corrected.”
Last year, the founder went one step further and created a podcast called Godcast. “Well, I think of it as adapting a character. God is a character that I know very well. And he’s not any bigger of a character than any other character would be. He just happens to be God. But he’s, in many ways, just the cranky old man on the lawn of the universe. And I always thought that a podcast was the ideal form, more so even than Twitter, because it’s the voice of God.”
#11
Snorkeldorf 4 years ago
I wonder if I'd find a good home where they'd keep me. I can be kinda moody and difficult. Don't get along with all hoomans although other dogs, cats and various critters are OK. Not a picky eater. I'm also loyal and protect my family fearlessly. Will not tolerate being crated after my youth. Hope I'd find a dog that would treat me like I always treated them. Paws (guess I would not have fingers) crossed!
So it seems that David Javerbaum is fully engaged with this all-powerful character. Right now, he’s busy with publishing his response to King David’s The Book of Psalms titled The Book of Pslams: 97 Divine Diatribes on Humanity’s Total Failure.
At the same time, the account is still going strong and continuing to entertain its followers with piercingly sharp humor. “The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David Javerbaum said.
#16
#17
#27
BlackestDawn 4 years ago
And in many cases it's not the opinion itself that others have a problem with, but rather the "fact" you use to base said opinion on. By that I mean that if you used actual facts you most likely wouldn't have that opinion.
#29
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Seems like that would be obvious after that garden of Eden fiasco.
#30
Chris Lehr 4 years ago
Took a while but you showed up in the UK recently. Cheers for that. Now we look like we’re run by American.
#38
#39
#43
Grant Barke 4 years ago
Are you telling me Hitler and the Nazis are not being tortured for eternity. Now I'm mad as hell.
#46
RandomX123 4 years ago
I wish devolution was a thing. I want to "drop on the deck and flop like a fish". Too bad the Anti-vaxxers wouldn't get to evolve to obtain average human IQ if that were to happen
#52
#53
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
It's also very interesting to know that the ones claiming to be the "Silent Majority" are in fact the Loudmouthed Minority.
#63
#64
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
But beliefs never grow up because than they would have to face reality.
#70
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Blame social media who have acted as a platform for all the Holocaust deniers, flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, incels, racists, fascists and sexists. Because profit is more important than anything else.
#75
#80
#82
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
And you could have prevented it by giving him 3 strokes. Strike 3, you're out.
#87
#89
Julie C Rose 4 years ago
Based on how I was doing when I got my first vax, you don’t have to be absolutely sure.
#90
#92
#102
#103
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Neither do we. And if, by chance, we happen to have one, you are there to mess it up.
#104
#105
#108
Add New Image
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
"God, save our baby!" they're crying right now. Yeah, well, dipsh*ts, you didn't follow isolation protocols, and now your toddler is in ICU... I had a bad weekend shift, just ignore me. I'm crankier than Twitter-God!
Mark Fuller 4 years ago
If this WERE God ie someone with a modicum of common sense who says it like it is, promotes equality, cares about the planet and knows the bible is a work of fiction... then I'd probably start going to church.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
I have no idea who is behind this account, but I'm glad they are having fun with it.
JB 4 years ago
Hi Jo, “ The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles.” Have a good day!
Load More Replies...
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
"God, save our baby!" they're crying right now. Yeah, well, dipsh*ts, you didn't follow isolation protocols, and now your toddler is in ICU... I had a bad weekend shift, just ignore me. I'm crankier than Twitter-God!
Mark Fuller 4 years ago
If this WERE God ie someone with a modicum of common sense who says it like it is, promotes equality, cares about the planet and knows the bible is a work of fiction... then I'd probably start going to church.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
I have no idea who is behind this account, but I'm glad they are having fun with it.
JB 4 years ago
Hi Jo, “ The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles.” Have a good day!
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
