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Nick Galifianakis is the cartoonist for Carolyn Hax's syndicated advice column that has been running in the Washington Post (and 200 other papers) for over twenty years.

His observations on life, love, relationships and pet companionship send the message: if we can't laugh at ourselves, Galifianakis will do it for us!

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#1

The Gift Grab

The Gift Grab

Nick Galifianakis Report

Final score:
62points
POST
catmarshall57 avatar
BusLady
BusLady
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Little one on the floor: Not fair. Other kids: You should know better. Last year Dad did the same thing.

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    #2

    Grandma!

    Grandma!

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    59points
    POST
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh, oh! What did Gran put in there? Maybe that's why people get sleepy after eating turkey.

    2
    2points
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    dopethronepunkuk avatar
    HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK
    HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK
    Community Member
    7 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its actually a myth about turkey making you more tired than other food, its just it comes out on the days that we will eat a lot more than we would normally, any meat contains the same chemical that can bring on tiredness, its more about over-indulgence and all the blood rushing to your stomach to aid digestion. Sorry for being boring.

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    #3

    Make Room For Me!

    Make Room For Me!

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    55points
    POST
    ahance_stl avatar
    Ang.stl
    Ang.stl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There were two kids and my mom and I gave our spots up to them. Our table was in the archway going into the dining room, while still being in the kitchen. Plus I got to snuggle with my niece's baby while I tried to eat. I figured his mom might as well have one meal that she didn't have to hold him.

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    robyn-denton-31 avatar
    Robyn Denton
    Robyn Denton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because the kids just enjoy the magic of the season, instead of trying to outdo each other...

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    #4

    Surviving The Holidays

    Surviving The Holidays

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    53points
    POST
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Visiting relatives during the holidays, reminds you of why you don't visit them the rest of the year.

    13
    13points
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    mamma2molly avatar
    MammaG
    MammaG
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I second that! I don't want to spend my precious time off with you people who don't even know me. I want to spend it with the people who love me.

    3
    3points
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    bpbperic avatar
    Night Owl
    Night Owl
    Community Member
    7 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww, me too. And that's why we're all here now 😉 😃 ❤️

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    3points
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    sophiacai avatar
    Sophia Cai
    Sophia Cai
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get it :( someone explain?

    1
    1point
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    #5

    Is It Safe To Come Out Yet?

    Is It Safe To Come Out Yet?

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    52points
    POST
    bpbperic avatar
    Night Owl
    Night Owl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cat when she hears fireworks and firecrackers until about an hour after they stop

    2
    2points
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    mamma2molly avatar
    MammaG
    MammaG
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How pets (and people) often feel when hordes of people invade their home.

    1
    1point
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    #6

    Behind Every Christmas Icon

    Behind Every Christmas Icon

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    51points
    POST
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Invite your girlfriends over. Yeah, he finally left. Let's get hammered. Eggnog for everyone.

    9
    9points
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    mamma2molly avatar
    MammaG
    MammaG
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take the sleigh and leave.

    0
    0points
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    bpbperic avatar
    Night Owl
    Night Owl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He already took the sleigh for himself and apparently they only have one :(

    2
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    #7

    Trimming The Tree... And The Gifts

    Trimming The Tree... And The Gifts

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    44points
    POST
    freyathewanderer_1 avatar
    Freya the Wanderer
    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my family we give to charity in each other's names. We don't need things.

    12
    12points
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    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonderful idea. We don't go all out. Just a few simple gifts. For the past 3 years, my son and I have taken part in an event on Christmas Day that focuses on people in need. Much more satisfying than gifts. I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas.

    9
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    mollyloveswayne avatar
    Molly Block
    Molly Block
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spoil me on my birthday. But Christmas? Christmas is a great excuse to just eat the eff out of everything, and then go back for seconds!

    0
    0points
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    #8

    Passive Aggressive Much?

    Passive Aggressive Much?

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    42points
    POST
    klrenk avatar
    HANS
    HANS
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the thought that counts!

    7
    7points
    reply
    luismilian avatar
    Luis Milian
    Luis Milian
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what he wants is not an option. It should be what he NEEDs to do

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    0points
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    #9

    If Holidays Were Amusement Parks...

    If Holidays Were Amusement Parks...

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    40points
    POST
    bpbperic avatar
    Night Owl
    Night Owl
    Community Member
    7 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very similar to the christmasinator and weddingator

    11
    11points
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    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why I never get on those things. Lol

    3
    3points
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    #10

    Family + Gatherings

    Family + Gatherings

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    33points
    POST
    freyathewanderer_1 avatar
    Freya the Wanderer
    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns

    14
    14points
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    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss getting together with my family (I live in another state). Then I start thinking about all the fights.

    4
    4points
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    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It takes a lot of elves to make all those toys.

    2
    2points
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    robyn-denton-31 avatar
    Robyn Denton
    Robyn Denton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one considers how much c**p Mrs Claus has to put up with!

    0
    0points
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    #11

    The Hostess With The Most-Est

    The Hostess With The Most-Est

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    31points
    POST
    freyathewanderer_1 avatar
    Freya the Wanderer
    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Great American Dream: A delusion shared among millions.

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    #12

    Great Expectations

    Great Expectations

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    29points
    POST
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you grow up, you can change your traditions. You don't always have to follow the crowd.

    6
    6points
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    taledrayes avatar
    B. A.
    B. A.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know that these are satirical right?

    2
    2points
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    #13

    Business Of The Year

    Business Of The Year

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    27points
    POST
    liverpoolroze avatar
    Rose the Cook
    Rose the Cook
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanksgiving, Christmas and Weddings too.

    8
    8points
    reply
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask anyone who has ever planned a kid's birthday party.

    2
    2points
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    #14

    The Line Starts Behind Me

    The Line Starts Behind Me

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    26points
    POST
    bpbperic avatar
    Night Owl
    Night Owl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sweet release of death. It's quiet, dark and toasty warm in there

    9
    9points
    reply
    #15

    "Tis The Season Of Stress And Disappointment"

    "Tis The Season Of Stress And Disappointment"

    Nick Galifianakis Report

    Final score:
    24points
    POST
    catmarshall57 avatar
    BusLady
    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gee, I just took it to mean that Santa might sometimes need a break. People stand in line a long time to see Santa, and children get grumpy, sleepy, upset, hungry, need a diaper changed, etc. And the parents... What is supposed to be fun can become unpleasant for everyone.

    4
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    mamma2molly avatar
    MammaG
    MammaG
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    What is he planning to do to the kids? Unless he's doing something awful, there's no trigger. A******s intentionally misinterpret triggers and the intent of warnings. They're much like Parental Advisements before movies or when Facebook covers a photo that might be graphic. Pretending people are fragile because they don't want to be reminded they were raped (or worse) is just being an a*****e.

    ue2k1 avatar
    Axanthron Myre
    Axanthron Myre
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a dig at those who don't celebrate Christmas and complain about the trees, decorations, "Merry Christmas!", Santa and elves. Triggers don't have to be about fragility, sometimes they can just be about an idea of equality (however misplaced it may seem to some people).

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